[The King]

I don't know what's been going on lately but it seems like I have zero game.

I've been going out pretty regularly for months now. Originally I was going out with some RSD losers but I was just happy to not be going out solo. I've stopped talking to them anyway. The last 3 or so months though it seems like nothing happens when I go out, no girls, nothing. A lot of this shit probably comes from the alcohol which I drink regularly. I only realised last night the crazy tolerance I've built, not that that's a good thing. Basically what happens when I go out now is I waste time talking to my friends(an excuse for not approaching) and then the night is over before I know it. This is when I'm drinking too.

I don't know how to proceed from here. I'm not usually the person to say this, but I feel lost right now in terms of game. I'm not depressed or anything like that but my game and interactions with girls are just non existent at this point and I need to fix it. I never really enjoyed going out sober, but fuck it my game can't get any worse at this point so now I wanna quit for good. If some aspergers guys can go out and approach girls sober then I can aswell.

Guys what can I do to actually get real game that doesn't come from a bottle? I wouldn't usually consider myself a newbie at this shit but right now my game is just like a newbie.

[polar]

1) sounds like you're relying on alcohol too much to get loosened up.
2) (many) RSD guys spam approach and go out with one sole goal in mind and forget to have fun
3) you sound burnt out by rejections and game.

The first step is to (learn to) have fun in your interactions.

If you are too in your head and unable to have fun when talking to 10's, talk to 6's
If that doesn't work, go to structured socializing events like meet-ups.
Get out of your head by thinking "what can I do to have more fun right now" and then doing it. Talk to strangers. Laugh off their reactions. Get them into whatever you're doing.
Supplement with a lot of flirty (not sleazy) talk with hired guns in bars, etc. (ie flirt for the fun of it, don't make it a means to an end)

Learn to socialize before focusing on sexualizing.

Consider taking a couple of weeks (mark it on the calendar!) when you can't talk to any girls to hit on them. Go out and do things that you enjoy. Go on a tour of your city. Go out to an arcade with your friends. Hit a concert solo. Make some conversation with those guys and girls next to you...but without an end goal in mind.

Just have fun.

[Sidney Crosby]

Try joining something like a salsa or yoga class, most people there will be sober and it will be mostly women. It will force you to game chicks without drinking and it is an easier environment for soft approaching. You can slowly build trust with these girls over a few weeks or months, you don't and shouldn't strike right away, just show up and after a while they will start coming to you.

It doesn't have to be Yoga or a dance class but try joining some activity that will be 70%+ women, although I think some sort of dance class would be ideal because it allows you to touch them, maybe slip in the odd grope once in a while.

[brokinetic]

Hey there,

I am a game newbie too and I wll share my experience with you. Might not be very useful but will make you realize that there are people on the same boat as you. From what I see, you do night game. I can say for sure that day gaming will help you a lot more. First you will be approaching sober in the day without any booze. This means you will be your real self and at the beginning you will feel lots of AA but it should go down by time.

I started gaming 6 months ago. Haven't gotten laid through game yet. I do mainly day game. The beginning was hard, damn hard. I am normally the fun guy in my group of friends and very social but never had a gf before. hence I had lots of AA around girls. I remember I used to sweat sitting beside average looking girls in my class at school.

My biggest problem was AA and accepting the pressure and tension of cold approaching girls. For a beginner, this is the main problem. You wait too much when you see the girl. Pressure builds and you start finding reason's to weasel out. All newbie's have this problem. Another problematic mindset is failure to accept rejections. All this is because of our ego. You have to let go of your ego and start thinking that failure is the path to success. I know everyone says the same shit. But thats the reality. Cold approaching a random girl will give you the reality of this world. As a man, we have to accept it to improve our life.

Take a look at some real famous PUA's. Nick Krauser took 1 year to get laid. Their lay closes are around 1- 3 percent. Imagine the amount of work they had to put to get there. Day gaming is one of the hardest skills a man could tempt. Cold approaching girls is not something that is a part of our human programming. You are already out there rather than staying in your room doing nothing. Give a big bow to yourself.

It took me three 5 months to really reduce my AA. I still have it, especially when I am day gaming in a new city. The first month I went out, I would approach 5 girls maybe in total of 3 hours(very little indeed). I slowly started approaching more and realized that you don't have to afraid of girls. I started getting some results after that and have had 6 instant dates in the last 1 month. I did not lay close any if them. but i realize that I have made lots of improvement.

Daygame is a long process, at the beginning I did it to only get laid,but now its more about pushing myself to see how far I can go and improve my knowledge and skils. Never give up, people are there at the top because they never gave up. But never shy off from trying new things.

Some things I might suggest
1)Find a gaming style that suits you. Direct(Look at Krauser) if indirect (Roosh's BAng and day bang). I am generally a straight forward, bold ,fun person. Hence, I adopted direct game with some tweaking that suits my suitation.

2) Don't over analyse your self. Take one or two points that you can improve from each session.

3)Record your sets with a cheap cam(an advice I recently got from a top guy from the community). You get to see your mistakes better.

4) Last but not least, mingle with people of similar mind set per the advice given by others.

I was just expressing my self from my own experience. Hence, I don't know how useful these advices might be to you. Good luck and keep gaming. You will slay one some day.

[Giovonny]

STOP APPROACHING!!!

Instead, just talk; make observations, ask questions, comment and LISTEN.

If you listen, SHE WILL GIVE YOU THE BLUEPRINT TO HER MIND!

I don't even talk to girls anymore, I just listen to them. It requires less effort and it brings better results!

[polar]

(08-29-2016 02:11 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

STOP APPROACHING!!!

Instead, just talk; make observations, ask questions, comment and LISTEN.

If you listen, SHE WILL GIVE YOU THE BLUEPRINT TO HER MIND!

I don't even talk to girls anymore, I just listen to them. It requires less effort and it brings better results!

Gio,

This is something that might make sense to you but not to others who aren't yet there. Almost like "just be yourself" or "stick to the basics" when a guy doesn't yet know what he's doing. A blue pill dude might say "all I do is listen!"

Could you close the gap between listening and your subsequent (re)actions?

[WestIndianArchie]

Not enough data.

WIA

[Travesty]

Go solo.

Get sun every week.

Workout every day.

Eat healthy.

Have the heart of a liger.

[subterfuge]

(08-29-2016 02:02 PM)brokinetic Wrote:  

Take a look at some real famous PUA's. Nick Krauser took 1 year to get laid.

How do 'normal' people get laid?

ometimes when I read journals, I see guys who learnt 'game' years ago, and have been approaching tonnes of girls every day, yet they still don't get laid.

And then there are 'normal' guys who have never studied game, but who at least get laid every now and again. I guess these people aren't typically able to pull a girl from a bar for a one-night-stand, yet they still manage to get sex somehow.

How do they do this? Is it basically things like meeting girls through work? And maybe getting introduced to girls through mutual friends and stuff? Maybe alsl things like tinder?

As someone whose always been fairly unsuccessful with girls, this interests me. Sometimes seems like 'game' is the hardest way to get sex!

[Truth Teller]

(08-29-2016 02:11 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

STOP APPROACHING!!!

Instead, just talk; make observations, ask questions, comment and LISTEN.

If you listen, SHE WILL GIVE YOU THE BLUEPRINT TO HER MIND!

I don't even talk to girls anymore, I just listen to them. It requires less effort and it brings better results!

As usual, Gio hit the nail on the head. Most of game can be boiled down to one thing: act natural.

That means embracing whatever emotional state you're in and acting through it. Basically, if you feel bored, stay flat and uninterested.

Game is only tough when you're trying to memorize a fuck ton of material and spout it at the girl. Don't do that. Act in the moment.

[WestIndianArchie]

@Subterfuge

Getting laid is not that mysterious.
Usually boy has a certain social reputation in his school, job, social circle. He is in contact with a fair amount of girls. He takes a liking to many, and a few take a liking to him.

So let's say he likes 20 girls out of the 400 he sees regularly. Of those 400, maybe 15 like him.

He'll fixate on a few and then muster the courage to ask her for a date.

Do the like circles overlap? Sometimes. And when that happens, he usually has to take the girl on a few dates, or at least spend some time with her, and they hook up. Then they become a couple.

No real conscious game other than the guy planned to talk to the girl.

So that's how regular people do it. The guy approaches a girl that is already checking for him. Or at least open to him, because he generally fits into what she's looking for.

But

What happens if you're not in too many circles? Not a lot of girls like you?

What if you don't like the girls that like you?

What if you want to meet someone entirely new?

And what if, what if you want to connect with a girl that doesn't like you?

That's where game comes in.

WIA

[polar]

Subterfuge:

Some guys have bad product, but good sales. They close, but don't get repeat business.
Some guys have good product, but bad sales. A little improvement goes a long way.
Some guys have bad product and bad sales. Even if their sales go up, they still need better product.
Some guys have both. They clean up.

[Giovonny]

(08-29-2016 02:16 PM)polar Wrote:  

Gio,

This is something that might make sense to you but not to others who aren't yet there.

Yes, of course, I agree with everything you said.

It absolutely is a very complex and layered science that is difficult for newbies to comprehend.

He asked for a "total game reset". So..

I started with a paradigm shift.

GAME IS MOSTLY MENTAL!!!

I guess what I meant is this -- When you "approach" girls, you put unnecessary pressure on yourself AND you start from a position of need. You need her to respond favorably in order feel "successful".

There are many other ways to frame, define, and execute your social development practice.

Don't "approach" in the traditional PUA sort of way..

Make jokes. Give commentary. Ask questions. Make observations. Tease. Compliment. Assist. Instruct. Engage. Eye-Fuck.

And, Most Importantly, DO ALL Of THIS FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT!

If YOU were entertained, than, the interaction was "SUCCESSFUL".

Think about that and focus a little more on that type of vibe..

That would be my advice for someone seeking a "total game reset".

It's really just food for thought and a mental exercise.

Maybe, I was just feeling philosophical..

---

Obviously, much of what I am talking about is semantics and self talk.. I know that thoughts, default mental states, language patterns, education, etc. ALL have a drastic effect on ones sex life. Words and thoughts are powerful, they can shape our perspective which can effect everything.

---

But, lets be honest, if this guy is approaching hundreds of girls and not finding any success... Then obviously he is average to below average looking and/or his social skills are average to below average, GENERALLY SPEAKING.. (not directed at anyone personally)

He needs to improve his look, his social skills, etc... BUT, WHAT I THINK THIS THREAD IS REALLY ALL ABOUT... is NOT "game"... This thread is about Strategy!

I differentiate between "game" and "game strategy"

Sometimes, strategy is more important than game.

A guy with a great strategy can outperform a guy with better game but a worse strategy.

Or,

A guy with good game can under-perform because of bad strategy.

The OP needs to evolve in both areas; His social skills and his social strategy.

Again, just food for thought as part of a "total game reset".

(08-29-2016 02:16 PM)polar Wrote:  

Gio,

Could you close the gap between listening and your subsequent (re)actions?

I listen, I learn, I probe deeper. (into her mind)

Simply put, I try to get her to expose her inner feelings, desires, needs, dreams, fears, etc.

With this data, I have a better chance of getting her naked.

If I talk, I can not collect data.

That is the essence of "listening" rather than "talking".

Even a newbie would be wise to let a girl talk without interrupting her. Too many newbies are in a hurry to talk. Listening is often a bigger opportunity.

(08-29-2016 02:02 PM)brokinetic Wrote:  

Take a look at some real famous PUA's. Nick Krauser took 1 year to get laid.

Great point!

This shit ain't easy! And, it ain't for the feint of heart!

You gotta be mentally tough and gritty to go from being a sexual failure to a sexual success!

It's literally like learning a language. It takes years of effort!

(08-29-2016 03:02 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

How do 'normal' people get laid?

You answered your own question correctly:

(08-29-2016 03:02 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

meeting girls through work? And maybe getting introduced to girls through mutual friends and stuff? Maybe also things like tinder?

Yup.

(08-29-2016 03:02 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

Sometimes seems like 'game' is the hardest way to get sex!

Well said! I agree.

"Game" in the traditional PUA sense can be a very difficult way to get laid.

Mass approaching is only one tactic among many available tactics.

Like I said earlier, sometimes, it's better to examine and improve your Strategy, more so than your actual physical "game".

Things like location, timing, target section, logistics, medium of exchange, etc., can have a huge effect on results.

Like with most things in life, you have to find YOUR way. The way that works best for you!

[LINUX]

(08-29-2016 03:02 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

How do 'normal' people get laid?

Sometimes when I read journals, I see guys who learnt 'game' years ago, and have been approaching tonnes of girls every day, yet they still don't get laid.

Because they want to believe the key to getting laid is all in their push/pull, neg, kino, DHV , while they are 50 lbs overweight, have fucked up teeth, have zero confidence, and dress like a bum. Some also lack a few marbles upstairs which is most daygame spammers that have no tact whatsoever when approaching someone.

You want the best PUA book ever written from my perspective, here it is:

Chapter 1: Do what you can to make yourself more attractive.

Chapter 2: Stop playing games with people: Tell a girl exactly what you want and what you think. Learn to talk to people without putting on a mask.

Chapter 3: Understand Masculine / Feminine tension and what your job is as a man and how her role in the feminine covers flakiness, indecision, insecurity, and mood changes.

Chapter 4: Try not to hurt or manipulate anyone on your journey. I'm lucky if I can see a face and know if I fucked this girl or not. But I always remember the girls that I really hurt and destroyed mentally. It's not a good thing.

Chapter 5: Realize that game isn't measured how many notches you get, but rather the quality of women you attract to yourself. Game is knowing wherever you go in this life, you'll never be alone. Game is making a woman make you her fantasy.

Getting there takes time and bootcamps and books aren't going to teach you these things.

You will find a lot of guys who do get laid who haven't heard about "game" do have a lot of those things I wrote about.

And most of the guys are into game tremendously but have little success, are in real life very good and decent people, they just lack the attraction and masculinity part and the teachers for this are very rare, because it's hard to sell something that is going to take a guy several years to accomplish, like hitting the gym and learning to survive on his own. And most of the guys who know these things aren't teaching bootcamps because they know it can't be learned by reading a chalkboard and opening a set.


At least, that's how I see things but I don't have all the answers.

[goodington]

(08-29-2016 06:48 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Chapter 1: Do what you can to make yourself more attractive.

To this I would add: Become aware of and internalize your relative strengths and weaknesses compared to other guys. Be honest with yourself and identify things that can be improved, and those that cannot. Take action to address areas of improvement. Become comfortable with things you truly cannot change, with the goal of making your confidence unbreakable. Resist the urge to put too many things into this category, as there are few aspects of SMV that are truly unfixable.

That being said, it sounds like OP just needs to get off his ass and start talking to girls.

[The King]

Was just out sober last night for the first time since quitting. Didn't really have any problem chatting to girls when my friend approached, but I didn't approach any myself. Not gonna beat myself up over that yet though, I'm gonna take baby steps to get back to the level I was at before and beyond.

Don't know exactly what was being said between my wing and the girls he was talking to, but both sets ended because he stopped talking to his girl. My small talk skills aren't the issue. I think the real problem is the guy is just not cool, dresses like shit, says cringey shit and talks to me instead of the girls sometimes.

This has me thinking back to the few times I hit the club solo before. Didn't get laid and drank a lot, but at least I was having some fun. I think I should start going out solo again, and regularly this time. I can't rely on friends all the time most of the cool ones are busy and the RSD guys are always out but they're not cool.

I like that in bars I can relax and hear what everyone's saying, but I've never gone to a bar solo, only clubs. Between the dark environments and dance floor you can be real sneaky and nobody knows who's who, but if I wanna practice my convo skills I need to be away from the dance floor.

I know the content is on this forum already, but for the sake of keeping it short and simple, could any experienced members give me some tips on how I could switch to full time solo game? I got tips on dressing better from an experienced player I know, but the other details like what venues I should hit and the type I game I should be running as a newbie I haven't figured out yet.

[WestIndianArchie]

(09-04-2016 02:37 PM)The King Wrote:  

I know the content is on this forum already, but for the sake of keeping it short and simple, could any experienced members give me some tips on how I could switch to full time solo game? I got tips on dressing better from an experienced player I know, but the other details like what venues I should hit and the type I game I should be running as a newbie I haven't figured out yet.

1. Go to venues that you like going to, and you wouldn't care if there were no girls there
2. Go out during the week, and go early.
3. Meet the staff.
4. Meet the regulars

Getting acclimated to these spots makes talking to strangers easier.

In terms of game

5. Pick the style that appeals to you most right now.

Every guru is touching one part of the elephant.
So learn a style you like, and then add to it as time goes on.

6. When you get good solid interest, have a plan.
- you've taken care of her friends
- your car situation is sorted out.
- Her car situation is sorted out.
- place has the stuff that you need to make her comfortable.

7. Think to yourself
- I'm going to leave the bar with girl A and go to a diner
- then a drink at my house
- then we'll get cozy and watch Netflix documentaries.
- after you do the dude, refer to your style guide on how to make sure she doesn't get buyer's remorse.

The key is getting used to going out solo. And by going to places that you like going to, and that you know staff and regulars, you're not really going out solo anymore.

You're gonna go see your boys @ the bar. And whatever happens, happens.

WIA

[Gentleman Josiah Crown]

Gio,
That was probably the realest shit I've ever heard. That hit me hard in a good way. I'm going sit down and ponder this seriously when I get back home. Thanks for those gems.

[Giovonny]

(09-04-2016 02:37 PM)The King Wrote:  

could any experienced members give me some tips on how I could switch to full time solo game?

I game by myself, all the time.

Here are my tips:

1) Talk to girls everywhere you go. Morning, afternoon, and night. On the street, in the store, at the cafe/restaurant, public transportation, the gym, the mall, ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE that you see hot girls, TALK TO THEM!

This is the most important basic fundamental. GET IN THE HABIT OF CHATTING UP PRETTY GIRLS!

2) Optimize your look and style for your sexual audience! Don't just wear nice clothes.. Be more specific than that! Wear the clothes that give you the best chance of getting sex!

Improve your BODY, HAIR, SKIN, teeth, shoes, accessories, etc.!

Look your best!

3) Use Dating apps. Learn how to use them effectively.

Not doing this is a mistake.

That's it! That is the only advice you need to get started!

Now, today, when you leave your house -- Look sharp and be prepared to talk to pretty girls. When you see them, talk to them. It's that simple!

(09-04-2016 02:37 PM)The King Wrote:  

what venues I should hit

The venues that have the most pretty girls.

(09-04-2016 02:37 PM)The King Wrote:  

what type I game I should be running as a newbie

As a newbie, I would start with mostly indirect conversation starters.

Lots of situational observations.

Error on the side of Playfulness, Light-heartedness, and humor.

*****

(09-04-2016 07:40 PM)Gentleman Josiah Crown Wrote:  

Gio,
That was probably the realest shit I've ever heard. That hit me hard in a good way. I'm going sit down and ponder this seriously when I get back home. Thanks for those gems.

You're welcome.

Enjoy the journey and the work.

It's supposed to be fun!