[klopzoid]

Hey guys I'm klopzoid, I'm new here! After browsing the forums for the past two weeks awaiting activation, I finally found an opportunity to ask a serious question that I have had problems with before.

On Tuesday or Wednesday night, I will be getting high after work with a rather attractive female co-worker in her vehicle. Then we will go to my vehicle, and proceed to eat or whatever. My dilemma is that I have had situations like this before, and am not exactly sure how to escalate. There is no chance of going to my or her house, and I will be leaving soon for university. Therefore my goal, ultimately, would be to engage in some good old car sex

So, considering the logistics of this scenario, anyone have any thoughts? My main concerns are:

What would be the best way to make a direct sexual move, be it a makeout or some type of definitive physical contact?

What actions, both physical and verbal, should I aim for to set the tone or mood of our interaction?

When in the night would be the best time to make my move (While rolling the weed in her vehicle/ While smoking in her vehicle/ After smoking in her vehicle/ In parking lot while transitioning to my vehicle/ Before eating in my vehicle/ After Eating in my vehicle)?

I apologize if it seems I am over analyzing the scenario. It is just that this girl consistently flirts with me at work and I have done a pretty good job at maintaining a decent level of sexual tension between us. I can steer myself into scenarios similar to this quite often but have always been hindered when isolated by self-doubt, thus causing my vibe to change and making me afraid to escalate and worst of all not be the person that got me into such a pleasant situation. I decided that I would change that starting with this upcoming opportunity, especially since I more than likely won't see this girl at all anymore and will be going on to better things in college. Therefore it is not important to me if I get blown out/rejected/or if things go down south, I would simply like to have an idea of what my general game plan will be and start now to revert my fear of escalation.

Thank you guys in advance for the feedback, I will check here a few times in the upcoming days and post a report for analysis!

[TheFinalEpic]

Start making out in the front seat, then say you're going for a nap in the back seat, and that she can drive home if she wants. She will subsequently join you because she is a woman and sucks at driving. Works every time.

[AntiMediocrity]

As with most scenarios, the girl will either be waiting for you to make a move for most of the time because she's already interested (making all your times right), or no time will be right because she just sees it as an innocent smoking session.

So what you need to determine is if she's in the first category, rather than think about when to go for it, because honestly if she likes you it doesn't matter. Obviously you can't just jump on her the moment she sits down, but that appears to go without saying got you.

You mention that you'll drive to her, get out of your car and get into hers. This leaves no opportunity to kiss her on the cheek and gauge her response, which is important because if she pulls away you're done. If you do this test in the car, it's too conspicuous.

I've always been one for giving proper greetings and farewells, which means if there's a car involved I get out/insist they get out and we don't get any awkward stretching for hugs or whatever. I do this with friends and family as well as potential gf's/lays. This also establishes frame. So in your case I would say "are you going to get out of the car and greet me properly or what?". Then you give her the cheek test. No hugging. Kiss her on the cheek, pull away, look into her eyes and smile, then act like nothing happened. The no hug is important, if you hug her that sets a precursor for friendship and makes the kiss on the cheek simply a part of the hug rather than an attempt at developing sexual rapport.

After that you've already broke the most important barrier, which leads me to ask; how do you interact at work? Are you touching each other on the arm/shoulder/hip? If not, from the cheek kiss onwards that's what you need to do. If you can kiss a girl on the cheek, you can do the above because it's a step below. If the girl in question is doing the same, it's a good signal obviously.

With the physical contact out of the way it's simply a matter of paying attention to her body language, maintaining a natural fun/relaxed environment to let any reservations she has dissipate and being an expert at spotting when she expects a kiss. It's not what you do; it's what she let's you do, and what she does as a result.

Personally when I kiss close I find a reason to clasp her cheek in my hand or run my fingers through her hair, give her a compliment or say something endearing about the subject matter, and if she giggles or blushes that's when every girl expects to be kissed. You could also try the old trick of looking into her eyes, then looking into her lips, then back to her eyes, this is a subconscious signal to her that you're about to go for a kiss so if she reacts to this body language negatively you know not to go for it.

I think I've written enough.

Cliffs:

-Kiss her on the cheek when you greet her, OUT OF YOUR CARS.
-Touch her occasionally if you're not doing it already from working together
-There's no precise time on when it's best to kiss a girl, other than the fact that it should feel natural to her and she must be waiting for a kiss from you in the first place

[Sketness]

Try this:

Find a business park in your town (every town will have at least one business park where there are just a bunch of courprate offices) At night business parks are empty, often times there are no cops and no security because everyone has gone home for the day.Park there at night. Then pull up both of the front seats and hop in the back and proceed as normal. Smoke FIRST, wait 10mins, then Escalate.You'll be banging before you know it

[TheFinalEpic]

I'd actually recommend residential areas with tinted windows. Find a long fenced area and park there, nobody will be the wiser. Most often those business parks have security cameras and patrolling officers, at least in my part of the world. Nothing kills the mood more than a cop rolling up and flashing his lights at you. I've seemed to have the most luck with my method. Either that or a busy parking lot in the back 40. Tinted windows are a must.

[TornadoByProxy]

Why don't you just go to a motel to smoke and eat?

[XPQ22]

(08-06-2016 02:41 AM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  

Tinted windows are a must.

And yet, on a couple of occasions not having tinted windows has helped me move from the car makeout to the bang at her place or mine. "I'm feeling a bit exposed here...want to go somewhere more comfortable?"

I'd say the best "venue" would be a parking lot at a large mall/supermarket. The lots are huge so it's not too difficult to find a somewhat private area, but people are driving in and out all the time doing all sorts of things, so two people sitting in a car for a while isn't very likely to draw attention among all the other vehicles.

[klopzoid]

Thanks everyone for the speedy replies! So let me clarify a little bit more, we will actually be getting off of work together and it will be around 11 or 12 pm. Funny thing is we work at a movie theatre, so there is immediate access to a sprawling parking lot. We will most likely smoke in said parking lot as well, and walk to her vehicle directly after getting off. I like the idea of the kiss on the cheek to greet, but can't see how I could implement that into this situation.

I am going to focus on more touching at work, but am wondering how I can make these touches seem more than simply incidental - without jeopardizing my job of course.

[AntiMediocrity]

(08-06-2016 06:05 PM)klopzoid Wrote:  

I like the idea of the kiss on the cheek to greet, but can't see how I could implement that into this situation.

I am going to focus on more touching at work, but am wondering how I can make these touches seem more than simply incidental - without jeopardizing my job of course.

Ah, I remember when kissing on the cheek and physical contact were concepts I daren't even think about, never mind incorporate them into my life.

I already told you how you can implement a kiss. If she wants you she'll follow your request of greeting her properly as I outlined. The problem is you're thinking from your POV, how it would seem awkward, which is a common misconception if you've never done something before.

As for touching, get into a habit of touching all of your co-workers, both male and female. The thing is in the past people used to touch each other all the time, it wasn't even intentional- just a natural aspect of human interaction. However with things like the R word (rape) being thrown around, combined with people generally spending more time in isolation and focusing on social network interactions, it's almost a taboo. But this gives you the perfect opportunity to break from the mould.

I never used to touch a damn soul. Thought that they would be disgusted if my hands went anywhere near them. This presented very closed off body language, which made people feel uneasy around me. It's very self-fulfilling, as you can see.

However after reading a few articles on the matter, I discovered that when done in the right way, touching people opens up barriers. They become more relaxed around you, and they'll end up doing exactly the same. At worst you'll simply become that "touchy" guy. Just don't go overboard, do it quick enough for them to not even realise it happened and most importantly don't look at the area before you do it. This makes it looks unnatural and forced. After a while you might find some people enjoy the physical rapport so much, you can be really overt and even make a game out of it.

At first it was weird and felt very out of character, but when people become receptive to it you'll wonder why you made such a big fuss in the first place.

[klopzoid]

Okay guys so more updates, we are meeting up tomorrow. At the moment my plan is to either attempt a move if things are going well while smoking, then further escalate throughout the night. Otherwise I will make a move on the transition into my vehicle, perhaps engaging in some play fighting or something like that. Once again, I like the idea of a greeting kiss but I don't see how that would work seeing as we will literally be leaving the building to go to the car together.

[kaotic]

You left out some critical information.

Clearly you've never kissed this girl.

Have you teased her or touched her much at all ?

Does she know your intentions ? How do you know she's attracted to you and not putting you in the friend zone ?

You're leaving for college so shitting when you eat at a movie theater isn't a big deal.

Shit I'd try to bang her at work, you have so MUCH space to fuck around in.


I'd maybe tease her and kino her before the car, but honestly, I've never done that in my car bang situations.


My car has the darkest tint on the back and a bit lighter on the front windows.

Do you have a 2 door or 4 door ? That's important also, because it's ease of access.

I'd smoke in the backseat to begin with.

[klopzoid]

I have teased and touched quite a bit, although nothing like directly grabbing her hips or things like that. I do engage of plenty of kino with her though, and she has said things like "I like a man who touches me like that" and I have said a lot sexual innuendo over the course of us working together. Today I made a joke about pulling her hair which she was very receptive to. I'm honestly not sure if I'm friend zoned but I am feeling something, and as was stated do not really care about any ensuing drama because I will be long gone within the next 5 days. We both have fours door vehicles, but we will be smoking in her car. I guess I can try to suggest we start back there - that would also account for that short, but so disconcerting gap in between the front seats.

[Kona]

Get a panel van.

Aloha!

[AntiMediocrity]

(08-09-2016 07:13 PM)klopzoid Wrote:  

Once again, I like the idea of a greeting kiss but I don't see how that would work seeing as we will literally be leaving the building to go to the car together.

Quote:

I do engage of plenty of kino with her though, and she has said things like "I like a man who touches me like that" and I have said a lot sexual innuendo over the course of us working together. Today I made a joke about pulling her hair which she was very receptive to.

Next time you write a long winded post, include stuff like the bolded part rather than a paragraph of analysis. Koatic is correct, you left out far too much critical information in the OP and wrote mind leak stuff instead.

So bearing that in mind, and the second quotation I'm going to say Fuck it man, at this point on the night you're doing this shit I would peck her on the cheek when I greet her at work (depending on logistics-is she always standing behind a desk, is she isolated from other colleagues), and see how she reacts then.

If she welcomes it say "You'll get more later if you're a good girl", if she questions it say "Just thought I would give you something to occupy your mind". I recommend adapting these to your own personality, but what's important is that in the first scenario you escalate and show your intentions, and in the second scenario you play it off as no big deal but give her an opportunity to either consider how tonight might play out or to cancel the night (which will tell you you're wasting your time).

If the logistics aren't in your favour, you honestly need to up the kino as much as possible to get a solid idea that she's interested before you finish work. Personally I would consider her interested at this point, but you clearly have lower self-esteem and regardless of my opinion you need to confirm it to the point where you're assured. Touch those hips dude.

[XPQ22]

(08-10-2016 01:15 AM)Kona Wrote:  

Get a panel van.

Aloha!

A brown one, with a wizard battling a dragon airbrushed on the side.

It should also have one porthole window.

[456]

Update, OP?

[AntiMediocrity]

Nothing like spending your time helping a dude and he won't even inform us if things worked out or not. Should add something regarding this in the newbie advice thread.

[XPQ22]

(08-21-2016 07:54 AM)AntiMediocrity Wrote:  

Nothing like spending your time helping a dude and he won't even inform us if things worked out or not. Should add something regarding this in the newbie advice thread.

Maybe it went so well, that they drove off into the sunset together, never to be heard from again.

That or he's in fourteen concrete-filled ash barrels, scattered around the Southwest.

[klopzoid]

Yikes I am sorry guys, I have actually gone through quite a lot of shit getting ready for college and dealing with some family issues as a result so my mind got kind of occupied. It came to me today whenever what happened that night crossed my mind. So essentially, the night was a failure in that I wasn't able to initiate car sex but I was able to have a make-out :/ I'm going to blame this on two logistical reasons, the logistical side being one that I feel I didn't pay enough attention to. Basically it started with us getting off of work together, but another co-worker asked her for a ride .-. So we all got into the car and drove about 15 minutes away to drop the co-worker off, afterwards things were going well enough and we joked around a little bit. We settled into a spot to roll up and smoke, and after finishing one blunt we talked more and I started grabbing her arm, stroking her shoulder and we ended up kissing for a little bit. Then I suggested we continue at the movie theatre parking lot (This is because the area we were making out at was rather busy as it was a man road), and she agreed. At this point I was feeling good about my chances of accomplishing my goal, we had about 30-40 minutes until the beginning of the movie. So we pull up to the parking lot, two more blunts to go. We smoke one more, do some shotgun's, then proceed to kiss more and I become more aggressive with my hands and kisses. Then out of nowhere, her fucking co-worker friend who is going to the same movie comes up to the car from the side and cockblocks the hell out of me. She abruptly knocks on the window, and things immediately get very very awkward. She starts by saying hey to the girl, and then just stares me down and says "who would've known" in the most sarcastic tone. Basically they talk for 5-10 minutes and we all proceed to go watch the movie, with the friend sitting by us the whole time. So i apologize for all the suspense to a pretty lame story guys, and I'm sorry about my untimeliness. I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions on things I could have done better

[AntiMediocrity]

No dude you did great, sometimes you just get cock blocked. But now you know she's interested, and you can set up something private next time.

A true failure would be you pussying out the whole night.

My man!