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How to find a tribe?
#26

How to find a tribe?

chicane, I like your honesty. This is an enormous issue for older men and also women.

Whats happening is you are greedy and selfish without even realizing it. This is why.

I recommend volunteering. However there are problems with the traditional volunteering route but I won't discuss too many of those negative aspects.

What you want to do is some soul searching about what interests you. Think of maybe even decades ago a hobby you dropped.

What I did was took the people that interest me the most and started my own independent volunteer program.

Maybe you like athletes. Interview athletes and try getting the interview published somewhere. Make them look really good. Put your time into improving some elses chances with their dreams. Or photograph them. Make them look cool and upward towards success.

People like being helped like that.

Contribute to other peoples goals not your own.

If you like skateboards then ask the kids if you can videograph them for free. Why? Because you were once a skater but now you just shoot videos of skaters. For free. Email the kids clips. Find more skaters. Get some video editing software, make the kids look like superstars in these videos.

Don't waste time volunteering somewhere you do not like. Don't waste time with random people you do not like in mixed public volunteer groups full of people from all styles of thought.

Remember the skater idea. If you are into skating then that is one of your tribes. However if it is volunteering at a dog shelter you will find mostly people who dont skate and you will meet mostly people you do not really want to like. Dont waste time filtering through so many odds and ends, just go find people doing things that are confirmed to be congruent with yourself.

The key is forgetting about your own greedy self and help others feel better about themselves. Help other people realize their potential. If you do that enough then your life blossoms without much forced effort on your part.

If there is an art museum down the road, and you don't like art, definately dont waste time there. Find your own volunteer job. Create it yourself.

Dont try volunteering in some place were other lame people signed up. It will be a mix of people and it is most certainly going to have personality clashes and various assholes strutting around for power positions. Its a waste of your time and its frustrating.

The thing about signing up to volunteer at places where everybody else signs up, is that you are doing that selfishly yet it is under the guise of being some helper. Its not helpful. Its really your own greedy self wanting to feel better and those types of volunteer places attract other depressing people in the same quagmire. Its stupid.

Maybe you excelled with small business and still like it. Go out and find someone younger to mentor to actually help them. Help a bunch of them. Do it to spend time helping someone else reach their goals, then your own goals may just appear with no effort.

It is important to be non selfish. To identify the types of activities you like most, then be some kind of glorified water boy on a football team. You meet everyone that way. You want to help make other people look better and to achieve their personal goals.

If you decide you are the best quarterback in the world and barge into an intermural team to play like gods gift to football, outta my way. Then everyone will probably secretly hate you. Instead you want to use your camera and computer to make a set of football cards with each player on the team. You know? Make each team member look cool and part of something.

Also choose something that is certain to meet people. If you volunteer to repair fences in the middle of the woods you will not meet many people and they will not be very inspiring people either. If you volunteer to help musicians carry heavy guitars to a stage then there will be people all over the place. If you have electrical experience start asking the musicians if you can help repair the wiring on their broken equipment.

Dont just sign up to volunteer for events such as a 5k run event. Instead ask to take photos of people as they cross the finish line. Get their emails and send them free pictures.

If you are older then time has probably erroded your ability to remember who you like hanging out with. You should think back in time and remember something you were into and get back into it.

Maybe you smoke pot. Find some stoners who blow glass pipes and contribute some glass to their projects. Ask them what will improve their operation. Tell them you would like to help advertise their business.

These are all fictitious examples not to be taken literally. It is important to just help people and do not be so selfish for a change. You have to give more to people. It is especially important to freely make them look and feel better about themselves.
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