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Bustle: Many Men Who Pay For Sex Are In Relationships & Concerned For The Well-Being
#1

Bustle: Many Men Who Pay For Sex Are In Relationships & Concerned For The Well-Being

Archived link: https://archive.is/KWHvq

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A new study out of Ireland found that almost half of men who pay for sex are in relationships, and over a third of them are highly concerned with the well-being of the sex workers they seek out. While this paints a complex picture of intimacy deficits, relationship dishonesty, and a genuine care for others, the study does a good job of dispelling the myth that men who pay for sex think of women as disposable objects.

In the study, Dr. Susann Huschke and Dirk Schubotz surveyed 446 people and found that 85 percent of men reported paying for sex, and 48 percent of those were in a relationship. Interestingly, though, most men preferred to keep ongoing transactional relationships with one or two sex workers in particular, because they preferred the bond of friendship and intimacy that came with it. In other words, men are seeking much more than sex from sex workers.

Most — 46.1 percent — said that they paid for sex a few times a year, while about 31 percent said they paid for sex a few times a month. Their reasons ranged from self-confidence issues around women to sexual dissatisfaction (ie., rampant cases of "sexless marriages") in their own relationships.

According to the study, "Some respondents stated that sex with a sex worker is the easier, but also a ‘more honest’ and safer option than affairs or one-night stands."


And while the stigma of paying for sex, and fear of being found out were the two most common negative associations given by respondents about paying for sex, the third one was a concern for the well-being of the sex worker. Thirty-six percent of men worried about the autonomy and consent of the sex worker they were paying: "They worry about the possible negative effects of selling sex and state that they would not pay for sex with somebody who appears coerced or forced."

A lot can and has been said about what this means for the state of men in relationships, what it says about the pervasive problem of not being able to communicate about sex with our partners, and what it means for the women who are in relationships with men who cheat on them for intimacy. But there's another group implicated by this study: sex workers.

The revelation that men are seeking out sex workers for intimacy and friendship, to explore their sexualities with a nonjudgmental person, and because they believe sex with a sex worker is "simpler" and "more honest" is a massive testament to the idea that sex work is work. It takes a huge amount of emotional labor to be a sex worker, and many sex workers have described the experience as tantamount to being someone's therapist.

It's possible that the reason these men enjoy their encounters with sex workers so much is because sex workers are skilled in sex-positive, nonjudgmental negotiation of sex acts. Sex workers simply have the skills to communicate about sex, pleasure, and consent in more fluent ways than most of us, which naturally lends itself to more vulnerable, intimate, satisfying sex. That doesn't mean you have to become a professional sex-haver to acquire lasting, great sex. But sexual fluency and communication is a skill and it requires practice.

Ugh, the irony here is how a Skrillexed hambeast wrote this. The hamster here is so strong, I might risk sleep time over it.

Keep in mind my own translations are in order of the phrases in block.

1. Damn right it does; if anything, it shows the deep thirst.
2. Oh, here we go again: does an entire population of men need to learn the hard way of the saying, "You can't turn a ho into a housewife"? [Image: angry.gif]
3. Of course, when many a married woman withholds sex like a hostage, that's a natural consequence. It's gotten to the point even pay-for-play is more honest and obviously upfront than being cuckolded and finding out about it too late.
4. A White Knight appears! [Image: dodgy.gif]
5. Oh, so this implicitly gets women of cuckolds a free pussy pass, huh? [Image: dodgy.gif]
6. It's called "GAME". Duh.

I swear, I do know I have other hamsterisms I missed here. I did my best on translating on some of them.
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#2

Bustle: Many Men Who Pay For Sex Are In Relationships & Concerned For The Well-Being

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But sexual fluency and communication is a skill and it requires practice.

It just sounds like the usual marriage/LTR manipulation tactic, where she's saying that if the sex isn't good, or the desire isn't there anymore, it's because there wasn't enough "communication" i.e. that you can negotiate desire back into the relationship through heart-to-heart talks like a business meeting.

But you can't negotiate desire. The couple guys I've known in LTRs who eventually started soliciting hookers/strippers did so simply because their girl got really fat and unattractive, or she just started losing interest in sex, or some combination.
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#3

Bustle: Many Men Who Pay For Sex Are In Relationships & Concerned For The Well-Being

You know, Roosh just shut down another thread about prostitution, warning this isn't a P2P forum.

I agreed with him and promised I wouldn't talk anymore about the terms of my divorce. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. I crack myself up sometimes.

(I have nothing constructive to add to this thread. Just wanted to make that comment.)
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#4

Bustle: Many Men Who Pay For Sex Are In Relationships & Concerned For The Well-Being

What a ridiculous spin.

Here is the article:
http://sex.sagepub.com/content/early/201...38094.refs

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The majority of respondents (58%) said that they would see different sex workers. Only 5% said that they would always see the same sex worker. However, nearly one-third of respondents said that they tried to see the same one, but would see others if this were not possible.
Only one in twenty sees the same ho. Article is trash. The number is hard capped at 1/3 because 2/3 prefer novelty over whatever passes for a relationship here and the rest express only some vague preferences: "a small number of favourites[sic]".

The article? It's drivel but there are some useful statistics. The methodology seems standard for this sort of sociology.

Interesting quotes:
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The vast majority of clients in our sample pay for the services of female sex workers
(85%).
One in seven whoremongers is a homosexual.

Only one in four are incels:
[Image: 6L4t2T1.png]

About 1/15 expect to stop paying for sex if it were outlawed:
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Respondents were also asked what they would do if it were to be made illegal to pay for sexual services. The results suggest that criminalizing paying for sex would be a very ineffective policy measure. Only 7% of survey respondents said they would stop paying for sex altogether if it was illegal whilst 15% would simply pay for sex elsewhere. The most likely responses given by clients were that they would only see sex workers that they trusted (42%) or simply would be more careful (38%). Meanwhile, 13% of respondents said they would not do anything
differently.

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Some clients explicitly stated that they did not feel the need to be in a conventional relationship and preferred encounters with sex workers because there were (usually) no emotional strings attached. In our survey, 38% of respondents offered this as one of their reasons to pay for sex – one of the most common responses.

Some are forced into this because they have no game and are aware that marriage is a loser's bargain. For the guys who were divorced and got the story out there, thank you:
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During the interview, it became apparent that Nick was generally sceptical about the social institution of marriage:
To be honest: if I’m in a relationship, if I got married, all of a sudden she controls the purse strings, because if anything ever happens – through my fault or her fault, or through nobody’s fault, the marriage is up, I pay a price for that, a financial price, for that for the rest of my life . . . So for me, escorts provide that compartmentalized situation where I can enjoy curious sex or I can experiment, non-judgmentally, and it’s compartmentalized. And, you know, that’s kind of why the core reason of why I do it.

If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.

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My Testosterone Adventure: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

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if it happened to you it’s your fault, I got no sympathy and I don’t believe your version of events.
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