[Cortés]

Im naturally a very serious and "efficient", for lack of a better term, talker. When Im talking to girls I tend to answer her questions logically and not playfully enough. Whenever I open girls they are always warm at the beginning, but I can feel the conversation get more boring. Im too direct in my responses and I never seem to leave any potential conversation topics to work with. Has anybody overcome this? How do you go about giving indirect answers that she finds funny?

Edit: semi related question not worthy of its own thread. I only can get myself to talk when necessary. I never think to talk when I dont have to say something. How can I remind myself to talk even when unnecessary?

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-30-2016 03:28 PM)Cortés Wrote:  

Im naturally a very serious and "efficient", for lack of a better term, talker. When Im talking to girls I tend to answer her questions logically and not playfully enough. Whenever I open girls they are always warm at the beginning, but I can feel the conversation get more boring. Im too direct in my responses and I never seem to leave any potential conversation topics to work with. Has anybody overcome this? How do you go about giving indirect answers that she finds funny?

Edit: semi related question not worthy of its own thread. I only can get myself to talk when necessary. I never think to talk when I dont have to say something. How can I remind myself to talk even when unnecessary?

To do it automatically, you change what how you perceive the girl.

We were just talking about Roissy's bratty little sister frame.

Start thinking of chicks asking you questions like they had a mouth full of braces and still carrying around a toy doll.

That's the first level. On other threads we have discussed tests, and using her questions and observations as springboards to show your personality.

And as a side note, most of the people on this website are exactly like you when it comes conversation and being logical and efficient.

You aren't a special snowflake, you're a typical guy with typical issues

WIA

[Drix]

Hey Cortes

I am almost new, but i had a similar problem, how to create interesting conversations. something that is helping: don`t think what you lose, say ilogic things, have good stories to tell(trips,crazy situations), tease her, escalate fast if you see interest.

In my case, i like to be natural and always play with questions. I open her, i told her a crazy story, she laughs and then when she ask me:

what is your name? i answer: i don`t give my name to strangers, but it we meet more, maybe i will give you. some girls laugh

what is your career? i answer: Look at me and Guess. If she gives the right career, i gave a kiss to her an say wow you are a genius. If she gives a wrong answer, i said Poor girl and i gave a hug.

when i see conversation is getting bored, i change topic or i tell an story. I hope i could help you, maybe other players have a different style. Just remember, threat girls as your little sister, try to play with everything, do crazy things, good luck.

[Lunostrelki]

I've found that for some people and situations, it can be an asset to remain aloof and silent (to a point). The key is about demonstrating or giving the impression that you are in control and have command over yourself, not that you're shy and inarticulate. If you're a shy man who is easily intimidated, try to talk to women who are more easy-going and less threatening. Let them do the talking, and respond as needed to keep the conversation going.

You have to be able to set the tone and direction of the conversation, not just be some passive hanger-on. Make her feel like she needs to unveil everything about herself to you. I understand this means actually having to pay attention to what the girl is saying, but it's kind of a must if you want to get anywhere with her, or get to know whether she is an acceptable character or not.

[robreke]

Make shit up. I usually only do this on dates or during night game. During day game I'm more honest. Examples of making shit up:

Her: what do you do?
You: I tend a herd of sheep. Most days are spent in a pasture under a shady oak overlooking my flock.
Her: Are you serious?
You: I find it relaxing and satisfying work.

I smirk until they start to smile then let on you are only kidding or tell them "i'm just kidding' with a sly grin. She'll often laugh and hit your shoulder."

Or...make them guess:

Her: where are you from?
You: Guess.
Her appraising you - if she guesses the correct region tell her 'that's close' or if she guesses Chicago and you're from the south say 'Chicago? I'm leaving now...." said with a good natured smirk all the time of course. Eventually tell her but the idea is you challenge her to make one or two guesses before giving the answer.

I don't overdo challenging/ making things up or making her guess, just calibrate before you give her an answer. Some girls, you hold back longer or just change the subject, others you may tell quicker. You'll learn with experience.

The whole point is not to fall into boring beta conversation. Example : 'I'm from ..../ where are you from? oh, that's a nice area. Yes, what do I do? I do ....../ What do you do? Oh, how interesting. "

^ You'll fall into friend zone faster than a spittle evaporating on a hot stove.

Don't always give direct answers or too much 'assurance' Women don't want it.

Game 101 stuff here but it's always good to sharpen the saw.

[tomzestatlu]

I am not so skilled and I would say, that I am the same kind of person. I just try to remember not giving straight and exact answer. When she asks about something, I let her guess, say it´s difficult to explain and so on... simply force her to get the answers with some struggle.
I would say this is the basic method to learn it.

[younggun]

Is there a balance to be achieved between directness and playfulness? Sometimes I feel like I piss away opportunities by being too playful because the girl just gets annoyed that I won't answer her questions. I always just assume these are "no" girls to begin with, because I'm not over-doing it or anything. I just can't imagine a girl would be that interested in what I take in school or where I'm from, those are the things I forget 5 seconds after I'm told.

[heavy]

Funny story I have of a buddy of mine, a natural dude, as to how dumb you can be with this. We're standing in my kitchen, both hammered, and he's on the phone with some babe from his past (he's in a LTR at the time, just flirting with her) and he's just bull shit drunk talking...

I have a coat rack with the words "COATS" on it, and he says to this chick on the phone (slowly, just dragging it out):

"You know what's a funny word.....coats." etc etc more bull shit

Dumbest conversation you've ever heard, and no, he wasn't trying to bang her and nothing happened. He may not have been able to bang her if he wanted to...it was just a phone conversation. But that chick stayed on the phone, at 2am, with him for 30 minutes. Hell, I was entertained the entire time.

Just bull shit.

[debeguiled]

Women are natural surrealists. There is nothing so outlandish that they won't take it in stride if they like you. A good way to take the pressure off yourself is to treat it as a opportunity for you to develop a part of your mind you haven't been accessing much, and the woman is there to help you.

I find that the trick is to loosen up, but that, as Don Meredith used to say, "It ain't easy being easy."

What if you just let yourself say whatever popped into your head, before your logical and socially appropriate inclinations took over?

I find that I am at my best when I don't have much filter, except for the insulting and truly negative, and that often, in situations where I didn't know what to say, that if I look back on it, my mind actually did provide a response, but I dismissed it as irrelevant or illogical.

Women thrive on the irrelevant and illogical, and nonsense, up to and including the Lewis Carroll sort of nonsense, has a place in life. It loosens you up, lets you have a good time, and gets you back to the untroubled vibe of childhood, so it is a good goal in and of itself, a social goal, even if it doesn't get you a bang right away.

I am still learning, and don't claim to be a master player, so I can only go so far as to say that playing around with playing around at least makes social dealings with women a lot more fun, and even if you just throw out a non sequitur, often it will spark an equally goofy reaction from the girl, and that will spark a fun and playful reaction from you, and it is on.

A few examples. I was in a waiting room once, and a woman next to me moved a plant off a table next to her so she could use the table. Without thinking, I said, "No, don't move it there, move it to the other table where the other plants are, or it will get lonely." I had no idea how she would respond, but she took it in stride, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and put her stuff down, got up, said, "Of course, it will be lonely," went across the room, picked up the plant, and moved it over to be with the other plants.

Another time, during a period where I was watching a lot of Ali G videos, and he is the king of nonsense, of taking the simplest situations and spinning them off onto tangents of surreality, and I practiced asking Ali G sort of questions whenever I had any dealings with women. I was ordering coffee at a Starbucks, and the barista asked what size coffee I wanted, and I asked what size tasted the best. Quick upseller that she was, she said large. Again, thinking before I spoke, I said, "So you believe that the larger something is, the better it tastes?"

This led to the both of us laughing loudly in a half embarrassed way and enjoying the hell out of a mundane situation.

So, it isn't easy for some of us, but how about loosening up that filter, and letting whatever comes out come out, before the analysis sets in. It might already be in there waiting for a chance to come out and mess the world around.

If you are looking for examples, or need inspiration, you could do a lot worse than watch Ali G videos.

[debeguiled]

(06-30-2016 03:38 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

To do it automatically, you change what how you perceive the girl.

We were just talking about Roissy's bratty little sister frame.

Start thinking of chicks asking you questions like they had a mouth full of braces and still carrying around a toy doll.

Speaking of this, it should be noted that the ability to interject a whimsical non sequitur will be of use down the road as a parenting skill:

[WestIndianArchie]

(07-01-2016 12:56 AM)younggun Wrote:  

Is there a balance to be achieved between directness and playfulness? Sometimes I feel like I piss away opportunities by being too playful because the girl just gets annoyed that I won't answer her questions. I always just assume these are "no" girls to begin with, because I'm not over-doing it or anything. I just can't imagine a girl would be that interested in what I take in school or where I'm from, those are the things I forget 5 seconds after I'm told.

1) Yes - It's called calibration.

However, if you're just starting you're going to fall into 1 of two camps
- way too little, because you're afraid (99%)
- way too much, because you have not filter (1%)

It's better to get a girl's emotions going than to bore her.
Plus, you need to learn how to recover.

"Was that too much...blame it on the al-al-al-co-hol..."
"I'm totally in a crazy mood today, because..."

2) In terms of answering questions

- it depends on the specific time frame in the pick up - opening and attraction, the comfort stage, and the let's get busy stage.

- depends on what would be her likely intention. - is she trying to test you, or is she trying to seek rapport.

Generally, the earlier in the reaction, the more rude the question - she's testing you. So you can double down on your shit.

BUT, if the conversation is flowing, and she asks you questions.

1) at the beginning of the pick up, before you've had a real chance to demonstrate your personality
- she's trying to trip you up. Aka a test, a shit test -

2) in the middle of the pick up - i.e. she likes talking to you, and is not trying to fuck you over - if she asks you your name, or what you do - she's seeking rapport. You can give it to her.

3) if it's on the edge of the front and beginning of the middle of the pick up that things get juicy.

WIA

[AboveAverageJoe]

Women ask questions to gather data that can and will be used against you, usually to disqualify you. Their gina tingles (which is what your hoping to provoke) are not dependent on these answers. That attraction happens in a non-verbal, animalistic, non-cognitive way. In other words, answering their questions directly will rarely help you. The more evasive you are, the more mystery and curiosity you inspire. Imagine answering females questions directly is the same as speaking with law enforcement. None of the answers you give, whether true or exculpatory, will help you-so make all your answers be non-answers.