[pbnationrc]

Ok, normally I NEVER date or chase American girls. I live overseas most of the time and never had this problem before, this come out of no where. (I am temperately back in the states for work.)

This American girl is unlike any other, completely my type and sweet. We salsa dance together. But l have been feeling jealous when she is out with her guy friends. A bit angry when she doesn't reply right away. And I can't stop thinking of her. This is NOT me. I like this girl a lot and want to make a relationship out of it. But I don't even recognize myself right now.

What changed and how to get out of this rut back to normal?

[Ballr]

- How long are you staying in the US for? Consider that before you pour your emotions into a unicorn.
- Does she get jealous when you go out with other girls? Cover this basis and your problem should go away.

Make sure you bang other chicks during your stay to offset your worrying. It sounds to me like you're thinking of bringing this girl back home with you. Tease her about what bothers you, just don't show that you're devastated by this. If doesn't correct the situation she isn't long term material.

[Windom Earle]

(06-17-2016 06:43 PM)pbnationrc Wrote:  

l have been feeling jealous when she is out with her guy friends. I like this girl a lot and want to make a relationship out of it.

This is a massive red flag (her having guy friends), so I would caution against progressing to an LTR.

That being said, there's no point getting jealous if it's a casual thing right now - but if you do decide to make it more serious, make it known to her that she's not to continue those friendships lest you set yourself up for failure.

If she doesn't fall in line, then that red flag remains at full mast, blown about by squally orbiter winds.

[pbnationrc]

Grindhard, I am here for a year or so. But she has lived overseas and can't stand being in the states too. And by guy friends, I mean people at work. So maybe not so harmless. But I can't imagine shes not friends with all the guys at the salsa club she goes to by herself.

Good point Earle...I know your right....It's just hard to think of something else. I just don't understand what changed me all of a sudden. I never had this problem. Its like I am going backwards.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Hard to know why some women trigger a strong desire for ownership in males. I've known several women who absolutely wrecked a half a dozen men over a few years by luring them in with promises of fidelity, getting them hooked and then dumping them for someone else.

The mad part was that they weren't even that good looking. If you saw a picture of them you'd probably rate it at a 6 at most. The whole thing was borderline supernatural.

In any case, her spending time with men socially is a MASSIVE RED FLAG. Does she have female friends? Women have a keen sense for cock-sharks and will keep them out of their social circles at all costs because they literally make keeping an LTR an impossibility. If she prefers the company of men to women then you've answered your own question.

It may not even be worth tapping her until the well runs dry if she's working voodoo on your soul.

Run, Forest, RUN!

[xxMarco]

You need to drop this feelings shit asap. You'll start to seem needy and it shows when you're with her if she doesn't already know.
You need to take a step back and get control of your emotions. That could mean hanging out with your boys or seeing other girls.

I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words but other members can chime in. I've been in your spot before and it doesn't end well.

[Scesci]

Feeling that way is normal for rookies, what will fuck you up is how women react to jealously, they can sniff fear and insecurity like a shark senses blood on water miles away. Feel what you want in the intimacy of your own mind, but don't ever act upon that

as xxxMarco said

Quote:

You need to drop this feelings shit asap. You'll start to seem needy and it shows when you're with her if she doesn't already know.
You need to take a step back and get control of your emotions. That could mean hanging out with your boys or seeing other girls

You're putting too much expectations and betraying yourself, if you really want this girl, go game random chicks and tune your emotions to work in your favor, stop feeling powerless with one single woman

This heartiste explains why jealously is perceived as low status by women https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/03/...ate-guard/

Quote:

alpha males don’t typically mate guard — at least not obviously — because they don’t fear their women cheating on them or falling under the spell of other men, and, less benignly, they redirect some of their relationship energy that would normally be spent on mate guarding toward hooking up with side lovers.

Quote:

while mate guarding may offer some temporary or discrete relationship security, multiple acts of mate guarding will paradoxically increase longer term relationship fragility. The mechanism by which this LTR instability is generated is a status feedback loop; if a man mate guards, his woman will subconsciously evaluate his romantic worth downward because (her sensitive idware will reason) only a beta male would feel the need to mate guard. An alpha male would not; his aloofness would be perceived as proof of his impenetrable high status.

Anyways, the others guys have warned, what the H are you thinking by getting sentimental with a woman of this quality?

[XXL]

Try to meet other girls in the meantime of thinking about this one to be able to assess who she really is comparing her to her competition. Very often we see what we want to see by idealizing a person due to lack of the alternatives. That's our brain rationalizing our choice to keep us safe and sane.

This is what is happening to you right now most probably.

[pbnationrc]

After reading and thinking a bit about it, I can say I am getting a much clearer picture. Now I think of it she did mention she was a rebel when she was younger, boys, parting, dating guys her father didn't like, boys, just boys. She said boys like 5 times...And then briefly mentioning the bad relationship with her dad. Also, at one point changing the subject about China, I live in China often, she randomly goes to cheating. She is sooo scared of getting into a relationship with guys because she can't trust anyone as they all cheat....All these things caught my attention, fast.

[LINUX]

Quote:

After reading and thinking a bit about it, I can say I am getting a much clearer picture. Now I think of it she did mention she was a rebel when she was younger, boys, parting, dating guys her father didn't like, boys, just boys. She said boys like 5 times...And then briefly mentioning the bad relationship with her dad. Also, at one point changing the subject about China, I live in China often, she randomly goes to cheating. She is sooo scared of getting into a relationship with guys because she can't trust anyone as they all cheat....All these things caught my attention, fast

She's broken; most women are. They are emotional creatures. It's your job to be logical and rational, not hers. Stop trying to understand and make sense of the feminine. Accept your role as a man and hold her together instead of falling apart yourself.

And actually think about this statement: "She is sooo scared of getting into a relationship with guys because she can't trust anyone as they all cheat."

I would be lying if I said I haven't cheated on practically every girlfriend I've ever had. That's why I don't do relationships anymore. I'm not capable. Maybe all she's ever known is people like me. Or maybe she is using that as an excuse to not settle down with you because she wants to be free more than she wants to be with you. You're never going to really know what's going on in her mind, because she probably doesn't know either.


And jealousy-- you're jealous because you want a relationship with this girl and you're afraid of losing her to someone else. And that's completely normal. Puppies are jealous if you pet one dog more than the other and that's not something they acquire over time; they are born with it. But like others said, women aren't attracted to jealous men. So, if you can't control your jealousy, you better hide it from her. And if you want to get rid of jealousy, you're going to need to find more options out there. If you have $1000, giving away $20 isn't a big deal; You've got $980 left. But if you only have $20 and you give away $20; you got nothing.

[tomzestatlu]

I´ve had the same problem recently, but got into relationship. She´s gone, good lesson

[General Stalin]

Sounds like you're falling for the girl because you can't actually have her. Pretty typical stuff.

Broken, flighty, untamed women are the kryptonite to every man. The ones who give you glimpses of things you love, then contrasting it with giving you feelings of dread, doubt, and jealousy. That contrast only amplifies the things you enjoy about them, which is further amplified by the fact they don't actually want your commitment causing you to chase and be needy - which in turn further draws them away and turns you into an emotional wreck. Not a man's most comfortable state.

Having gone down this road with a couple of women before - my best advice is to cut it off now for your own sake. Before you get in any deeper and wind up ultimately depressed when she dumps you/fades away.

Others have suggested chasing other tail on the side, but from my experience this doesn't work because she will always be on your mind and you'll be comparing every girl to her.

Judging from all the things you said - this is a typical story of a damaged girl sucking you in. They are great at it.

[pbnationrc]

spot on, spot on.

[WestIndianArchie]

XXL, Linux, and General Stalin are saving me keystrokes.

Glad this is in the Newbie section. And you're self-aware enough to realize that this is *your* inner game/outlook/mentality problem.
Most guys would just blame the girl, and not look inward as to why they're feeling like they're feeling.

WIA

[UlteriorMotive]

I was in a very similair situation before, I ended up locking the girl down in an LTR. It cost me my pride, a lot of money and a few friends along the way. It took me over a year to get my head straight.

4 years down the line my jealousy turned to anger and we ended up calling it quits. A week later she was in a relationship with a work colleague she had been hanging out with in groups for the last year of our relationship (and was more than likely cheating on me with)

Follow the advice given in this thread, I wish I had been fortunate enough to have it back then.

[JuanQuinQuin]

(06-17-2016 06:43 PM)pbnationrc Wrote:  

Ok, normally I NEVER date or chase American girls. I live overseas most of the time and never had this problem before, this come out of no where. (I am temperately back in the states for work.)

This American girl is unlike any other, completely my type and sweet. We salsa dance together. But l have been feeling jealous when she is out with her guy friends. A bit angry when she doesn't reply right away. And I can't stop thinking of her. This is NOT me. I like this girl a lot and want to make a relationship out of it. But I don't even recognize myself right now.

What changed and how to get out of this rut back to normal?

Bro, I hope you are not in Houston, TX because I dated that kind of girls like 1 or 2 months ago. Sweet girls, educated, and whatnot but please re read what others have said in the thread. I ended up going on a date with this chick, make out and she gave me a hell of a fellatio to later come with the story that she is a woman from God. Go figure!

Sad, story is that she has done the same to a couple of her male friends, that I know off. But whatever you do, do not put her on a pedestal or she will, in the best scenario put you in the orbiter rotation, or in the worst case you will be the laughing stock of her female friends. I saw it all Bro. After 6 yrs of a LTR and coming out to a new world, I can say that women are fickler than ever in these times.

Be happy, don't put any women on a pedestal till she invest her time with you with her pussy.

[pbnationrc]

Yup, thats exactly what was happening. Putting her on the pedestal. I still think of her time to time. But it is becoming far and few in between. Its a good thing we don't work together anymore....it would have been much harder to forget her. I am really busy with flying and work so that is good to have, staying busy.

I meet a cute asian girl at the department store. I didn't ask her out as it was really busy and a ton of people around. I know I know, that shouldn't stop me...but I am not quite at that level yet. So there is many more fish in the sea.

Point is, thanks for the positive comments. To be honest, I thought since this was the internet, I thought I was going to get flamed. But seeing things put into prospective is very helpful.

Thanks everyone!

[Dalaran1991]

(06-17-2016 06:43 PM)pbnationrc Wrote:  

We salsa ance together.

Strange nobody call this out. This is a HUGE red flag.

I've been involved in the salsa scene for a while and almost all regular salsa girls are salsluts, with cockteasing and drama game off the charts.

Save yourself the trouble and dont game girls in Latin dance for anything more than a ONS.

[HonantheBarbarian]

Salsluts ahaha I gotta remember that one

[Hades]

Every day before you go to bed, imagine your new girl fucking another guy. Imagine her saying how much better he is than "X" at fucking. Get your imagination really fired up. Maybe she is getting gangbanged by ten guys.

Then fuck her.

Or don't, if you don't feel like it. Just tease her and mess with her head.

Tell her to call you Brad Pitt, Daddy, Satan, whatever. Smack her around a little if you're into that.

Done, you're not jealous anymore. If you are it will just serve to make your relationship interesting.

Edit: Patrice O'Neal said that you have to see it in real life but some people have pretty vivid imaginations. Pussy is pussy, and all has a price. Top shelf dick is priceless.

[tomzestatlu]

(06-28-2016 02:40 PM)Hades Wrote:  

Every day before you go to bed, imagine your new girl fucking another guy. Imagine her saying how much better he is than "X" at fucking. Get your imagination really fired up. Maybe she is getting gangbanged by ten guys.

Then fuck her.

Or don't, if you don't feel like it. Just tease her and mess with her head.

Tell her to call you Brad Pitt, Daddy, Satan, whatever. Smack her around a little if you're into that.

Done, you're not jealous anymore. If you are it will just serve to make your relationship interesting.

Edit: Patrice O'Neal said that you have to see it in real life but some people have pretty vivid imaginations. Pussy is pussy, and all has a price. Top shelf dick is priceless.

Damn, I don´t get it

[nek]

(06-19-2016 04:33 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Sounds like you're falling for the girl because you can't actually have her. Pretty typical stuff.

Broken, flighty, untamed women are the kryptonite to every man. The ones who give you glimpses of things you love, then contrasting it with giving you feelings of dread, doubt, and jealousy. That contrast only amplifies the things you enjoy about them, which is further amplified by the fact they don't actually want your commitment causing you to chase and be needy - which in turn further draws them away and turns you into an emotional wreck. Not a man's most comfortable state.

Having gone down this road with a couple of women before - my best advice is to cut it off now for your own sake. Before you get in any deeper and wind up ultimately depressed when she dumps you/fades away.

Others have suggested chasing other tail on the side, but from my experience this doesn't work because she will always be on your mind and you'll be comparing every girl to her.

Judging from all the things you said - this is a typical story of a damaged girl sucking you in. They are great at it.

I'd love to hear an in-depth write up about these types of women

[XPQ22]

(06-17-2016 06:43 PM)pbnationrc Wrote:  

What changed and how to get out of this rut back to normal?

Fuck like, four other girls with maybe just one of them being about as attractive as this HB.

Then you won't care what she does in her spare time.

"Worked for me"