Quote: (05-15-2016 06:03 PM)TheWhiteWolf Wrote:
I've been feeling really suicidal lately and I don't know why. I don't think it's a lack women I just really don't enjoy life. Perhaps getting laided would help but I don't know. I was thinking maybe I could take a trip to the Philippines for a couple of weeks just to recharge. I have 50,000 in cash to spend. I was thinking if I was going to kill myself it's better spend it to feel better. Would any recommend doing this.
I've been through periods like this, full of boredom and suicidal thoughts. I think it's important to have (1) a mission in life and (2) a good woman. There will be times when you're bored and don't really feel like you have a mission that holds your interest, but those should only be passing phases. Also, even if you say you don't care about having a woman in your life, once you actually get a good woman, you'll realize how much it improves your happiness, and you won't want to go back.
For people with Asperger, the mission will probably involve some obscure interests that no one else cares about, which can produce a feeling of futility and loneliness. However, you can distract from this by getting a 9-5 job that is totally boring and uninspiring, but which the world will tell you gives you status and credibility as a useful member of society. That will give you the social validation that your interests don't provide, while your interests will give you the intellectual stimulation that your job doesn't provide.
Meanwhile, you can go on a website like FilipinoCupid (for the younger set) or Cherry Blossoms (for the older set) and find a good woman under age 25 to get engaged to within a week, and to marry a year later. However, first become familiarized with borderline personality disorder symptoms because chicks with those traits are present in every country and you'll need to weed them out before making your final selection. That's really the only major pitfall; statistically, if you keep to the Philippines (as opposed to, say, Russia), you're unlikely to run into scammers. Taking care of your love life really is as simple as that.
Small talk... I haven't figured it out either. Eventually, I just gave up. I find sometimes people will just arbitrarily decide to like me, regardless of the low quality of my conversation. There's a chick at work who buys me lunch, drives me to the auto shop when I need to get work done on my car, etc. and laughs at the lamest jokes I make and says "you're funny," even when she doesn't understand the joke. I'll talk about something totally random/uninteresting, and she'll change the subject and go into a monologue about her work and her thoughts about it, which I won't listen to because I don't understand it, and then I'll change the subject again. She must realize by now that I'm not paying attention to half of what she says, but I think she uses me for
rubber duck debugging. Meanwhile, because she's in a managerial position, she's able to put in a good word for me with my boss and with HR, and will probably be my path to advancement, if I end up staying at this place.
There are other people there I'm totally awkward with, because we constantly have the same, "How are you doing?" "Good, how are you?" "Good, how was your weekend?" "Good, how was yours?" conversations. There are even people there with whom I've developed a tacit agreement that we just won't talk to each other at all, even to exchange greetings, which is even more awkward.
Oh well! Not everyone has the gift of gab. In the end, all you need are a few friends/allies who will help you when you need them. You don't need to be
able to socialize with every person you meet, to survive and reproduce and be happy in this world. I also wonder to what extent small talk can be taught. I looked around the Internet for tips on building rapport, and didn't see much that looked useful. I guess you can try asking open-ended questions (e.g. "How did you get involved with that?") if you're interested in learning more about people, but if you truly don't give a fuck, you probably won't end up listening closely.
I've recently been diagnosed with autism too (since Asperger doesn't exist anymore in the DSM-5). But I hardly ever mention it to anyone. Most people will have misconceptions about what the diagnosis means, so I don't think it would improve their ability to understand me if I told them, plus I don't want to seem like I'm one of these people who uses diagnoses as an excuse for weakness or as a way to garner sympathy. Besides, 20 years from now, when the DSM-7 comes out, shrinks may have discredited the idea of autism and found some entirely different way to pigeonhole me.