[Gorgiass]

(04-28-2016 08:17 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

Just so that I have it right: The Joe Rogan breathing exercise involves breathing in all the way, exhaling almost but not quite all the way, repeat 30x.

Or just "deep breathes" in general?

Don't get hung up on any pattern or depth. I've heard and tried many ways and it's all the same to me. Deep breaths in as general are the key. Your brain gets more oxygen, releases calming hormones, and it gets something more to focus on than where it's directing your legs off to. Same reason focusing on physicality is beneficial, in addition to the positive body language it gives off.

[Cruisen_Chubby]

(04-27-2016 12:18 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

Those of you who have read a few of my past posts have a general idea of where I'm at with game, but for most of you who probably haven't, let me give you a quick recap:

I was with the only girl I've ever had sex with when I found this forum. She was only slightly cute but frumpy and overall below my standards. A 2, 3, maybe a 4 (that's a stretch). Long story short, this forum, ROK, and various 6's and 7's who would flirt me finally made me open my eyes and say enough is enough, so I ended it in July.

Since then, it's been kind of a weird school year for me. I haven't done much of anything noteworthy with game. I've mainly been focusing on self-improvement. Lifting, better diet, cutting my hair shorter, growing a beard, better clothes, etc. Making changes to myself to better my overall lifestyle. I still have work to do, but a lot of it has really payed off.

So I only just recently jumped into game, and about a week ago I open this girl on Tinder and quickly get her number. She's easily an 8, maybe a 9. And I've been knocking it out of the fucking park with her. I just naturally come up with the perfect responses to everything she says without lying or anything, and I can tell that she's been getting really into me. It cannot be going better than what it is right now. (I have the forum and ROK to thank for that. Not only has the forum contributed to the improvement of my physical attractiveness, but had this been before I found masculinity and my unattractive-at-the-time self somehow managed to match with a girl like her, I wouldn't know what the fuck to say. Probably something like "I hope you know that you're so beautiful, you're like a princess to me." )

Anyway, we made plans yesterday to hang out over the weekend, and judging by how this conversation has been going, sex is going to be involved. We'll probably do sexual things, maybe have sexual intercourse. To quote Seth from Superbad: "At the very least we'll make out."

This is definitely not going to be a hit-it-and-quit-it either. We have mutual sexual interests. We both want a person to have an exclusive sexual relationship with but not actually be boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically friends with benefits, only having to break it off when you're done and want to fuck around with other people. If this goes smoothly and summer is a drag, she'll probably be my fuck buddy next school year.

I basically have it in the bag, I just need to not screw up.

But the thing is: I'm nervous as fuck for the weekend. Like I said before, this will be the first girl I've been with since July, and the only one that I've been with wasn't shit, whereas this girl is an 8 or 9, maybe 10.

I need advice on how to calm the fuck down. I'm probably going to have a couple drinks before we hang out, but that will only go so far. Don't tell me you've never experienced this, especially when you were starting out. Every player has been here before.

I bet you'll settle down when you see her and it will pull her off the pedestal a bit.

You see, you've only seen PICTURES of this girl. Do you know how good women today are with camera angles, filters, photoshop, etc? i'd say it's pathetic but I can't deny they have talent.

The part that worries me is your giving her the score of an 8 or 9...actually you mentioned a 10... which...come on man. If she was a 10 would she be on Tinder? No. She'd be on a cover page, a movie screen, or getting poopied on over in Dubai-- not fixing to meet up with you, I, or any other guy on this forum for some casual, NSA sex.

You have received great responses thus far on how to calm your nerves, but I just have to call out the elephant in the room-- and hopefully, by doing so, your nerves will calm as well.

You are getting prepared to go meet a 10 (in your mind)--- but when you show up, just know she will be heavier than anticipated, may have a snaggle tooth, or some other debilitating feature that has not previously been disclosed.

I worry about you because you're self admittedly inexperienced. The reason you're so worked up is this-- "This is definitely not going to be a hit-it-and-quit-it either. We have mutual sexual interests. We both want a person to have an exclusive sexual relationship with but not actually be boyfriend/girlfriend."

You're not worried about just banging this girl--- you guys are getting way ahead of yourselves... already talking about some long term non-imposing bang buddies? woah, reel it back in a bit. I'd be nervous too talking about getting in to some sort of relationship with someone I haven't even met in person yet.

"She will probably be my bang buddy for next school year." Jesus Christ on iceskates... you could absolutely detest this girl, her pussy could smell like week old salmon, or she could try to stab you in your sleep... and you're already making plans to lock her down for next year. Wim Hoff a bit and get some perspective.

As someone before me said-- have no expectations. Just experience, respond, adjust, and then come back to us. We're here for ya. Best of luck tonight.

[realologist]

Breathe, clear your mind, relax, BREATHE.

I suggest working out a few hours before the date, take a shower, eat a nice meal. Allow yourself to be truly relaxed.

REMEMBER!

You are the prize! You are the prize!

All that self improvement in the exterior aspects of game have improved. Looks, style, etc.

What you haven't improved on inner game yet. You still partially see yourself as you did before. You still see what you were and how quickly you can slide back when a hot girl enters your life. Instead look at it how far you have came and that hot girl is a reward for all your hard work and effort you made to change for the better. That hundreds of rewards like her can enter your life if you keep working hard and always adapting.

Take this opportunity to bang her and see she is no different from any other girl if you don't let her be.

[Rhyme or Reason]

(04-28-2016 10:33 AM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

I'm paranoid that it will be dark when we do stuff and will be hard to identify an STD (for those that even can be visually identified).

I'm sorry but I got a chuckle out of this.


So OP, updates? How'd it go?

[PapayaTapper]

Here's the itemized pre big game checklist

[GoldHawkStar]

Well, I've been putting off posting in this thread because quite frankly I don't know what to think right now, it being Sunday and not having much of an exciting story to tell. If you want to read an exciting success story, turn back now.

It was by no means a disaster, but nothing has happened.

But I owe it to everyone who posted in this thread helping me to report what happened. I'll put it as briefly as possible, omitting unnecessary details.

I had told her during the week when she had wanted to hang out that Friday night I could hang out before I meet up with my friend (which I had made plans with prior, and I don't flake on friends for pussy) and that I also could Saturday night once I had gotten back from a family thing.

So Friday night rolls around, and at about 10pm she texts me saying she's coming back from babysitting. A while after she gets back I tell her I'm on my way out the door to stop at her place before I go to my friend's (who had just let me know he got off work). She then said that she couldn't at that point because she was hanging with a friend for his (gay man) birthday, but that we should meet up "late at night". I said that I had already let her know was when I would be available that night, so later might not work. As I hung out with my friend throughout the night and didn't reward her with many texts, she expressed sadness and anger that I may not be able to be with her that night.

Around 1:45am I get back to my place half-sobered up and let her know I'm back. She wants to meet up then, so I'm like fuck it and go to her place. She says that her roommate could come back at any point. We sit on the futon for three fucking hours just talking about shit, not doing anything sexual (her knees were facing me, I couldn''t pull her in for a make out or anything). That's the bad, but the good was that I could tell this chick was fucking cool. She's involved in shit on campus like the NRA, Republican Committee, etc. We talk about how feminism is a joke, white racism, and the highlight was talking about Donald Trump. She's the only person I've met on my campus who's a supporter of him, and she seemed even more interested after I let her know I was a supporter.

So that was that, late as fuck night without doing anything. I was mad at myself for not making anything happen but knew that I would have chances in the future as I locked my personality on her.

We make plans to hang out the next night before I leave.

The next morning she texts me saying she loved talking with me the previous night. I give her shit that we never even made out or anything, and she said that we should do that that night when we hang out. So cool, at least I know that's gonna happen. My plan is to invite her over to my place for Netlix & chill that night because everything at my place is in my bedroom so that would force us to lay on my bed.

I get back from my family thing, tired as fuck since I'm running on like three hours of sleep, wanting to go the fuck to bed but I'm not about to flake on this bitch who clearly wants the D, so I tell her to come over. The funny thing is that despite the nature of this thread, I was only the slightest bit nervous. I didn't care at that point. I knew she wanted me and I had already gotten through meeting her and successfully worked my charm on her the previous night, so I was like "Fuck it, I'm gonna take this bitch to pound town." We lay in my bed watching The Office and Orange Is The New Black (horrible fucking show). We cuddle, spoon, massage each other, hold hands, touch her boobs, plays with my facial hair, etc. After an hour or two, I can't remember exactly how it went but I said something like

"Well this is fun."
"What do you mean haha, how could we make this more fun?"
"Well I thought we were gonna make out tonight." (Half-sarcastic, giving her shit.)
*laughs* "Well I thought you said that I was a tease." (Referring to a previous conversation.)
"Nah I don't think that anymore, you've changed my mind."

I can't remember what was said after that, but she kept facing away from me toward the TV and we continue normal conversation. I'm like, well alright then. After another 10-30 minutes, I bring up making out again. She says

"Haha is that the only reason you invited me over here?"
"Isn't that the only reason you came here?" (Again, half-sarcastic but leading on to what I want to happen.)

Then she says "Wow, okay" or some stupid shit, and after a minute or two says that she has to go. I ask her why and she says "It's past my bedtime" or something goofy. I make it obvious that I'm genuinely confused what the fuck she's doing. She slowly puts her sweater and coat and shit on, stopping occasionally to look at me and then continuing. I heard her at one point say that I was being 'grumpy'. I think at this point she was trying to play games with me, see how far she can fuck with me for me to beg her to come back. But I'm not gonna do that, I don't play games. I'm not gonna beg. So she stops one more time by the door, it's dark but I just give her a wtf/do-what-you-gotta-do look. She's like "Ooooookay, bye." She turns around and leaves and I say "Yeeeeah, bye."

At this point, I just don't give a fuck. She's been with a lot of guys before, and I think her thing is that she likes to play them hardcore, judging by what she did Friday with the timing and now yesterday. If she texts me today or tomorrow (which wouldn't surprise me; she's always the first to text), I guess I don't know how I'll put it, but I'll probably say something like I'm not a guy who's gonna waste his time playing games, and to hit me up when she knows what she wants. (Suggestions?)

I may have been slightly salty throughout the night given my tiredness and hunger (maybe why she called me 'grumpy'), but that should have only been minor.

I can admit that I should have went in for a kiss at certain points throughout the night when our faces were close, and I kick myself for not doing that. But me saying what I said was a joking/foot-in-the-door way to make up for that.

I guess we'll see what happens in the next couple days. What I know for sure is that whatever happens now, I'm no longer nervous about her (alluding to the context of this thread in the first place), so I guess that's good. I know her now, I know that she's just a fucking human.

But anyway, I just don't know what to think right now. I do want her to text me today, but I also don't. She's turning into a lot more fucking work than she's worth; but then again, I'd love a bang before the summer (not many opportunities to meet women during the summer for me) and also to lock a good quality, consistent fuck buddy for next year. She's definitely attractive and passes every test in my book. Good face, good ass, fit, exercises, easy to talk to, rich, pro-Trump, anti-feminist, gets Brazilian waxes, doesn't believe in using condoms, gets tested to know she's clean, wants a consistent exclusive fuck buddy just like I do, etc.

We'll see what happens in the next couples days. Thanks to everyone who posted in this thread helping me out. Sorry I don't have a more exciting story to tell. Any suggestions at this point would help; I just feel like shit right now but mostly am confused what the fuck happened. And now I've gotta study for finals.

Shoutout to Cr33pin, MiscBrah and The Man w/ the Golden Gun for being in a group chat over the weekend joking around with me during the whole process.

[PapayaTapper]

(05-01-2016 05:13 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

"Well this is fun."
"What do you mean haha, how could we make this more fun?"
"Well I thought we were gonna make out tonight." (Half-sarcastic, giving her shit.)
*laughs* "Well I thought you said that I was a tease." (Referring to a previous conversation.)
"Nah I don't think that anymore, you've changed my mind."

"Haha is that the only reason you invited me over here?"

"Isn't that the only reason you came here?" (Again, half-sarcastic but leading on to what I want to happen.)

This is where it went wrong...There's a time to stop talking and start doing. This whole dialogue was unnecessary ..and awkward. (Reading it here it comes across as if you were asking "So...am I getting the pussy or not?")

She came over at "booty call oclock" and is laying in your bed.

Stop expecting her to say "yes" verbally. You had the deal sold...you just needed to close it.

10 minute's into the Netflix is when you go for the "chill"

Chill = make out, then petting, then stripping, then oral then bang, then jizz

(05-01-2016 05:13 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

Any suggestions at this point would help; I just feel like shit right now but mostly am confused what the fuck happened. And now I've gotta study for finals.

Read Tuth's recipe for 1st date bangs.

Invite her back to your place...you're going to make her dinner (or whatever)

If you get up to bat again you know what to do

Happens to all of us

Learn from it

Play on playa

[King of Monkeys]

(05-01-2016 05:13 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

I guess I don't know how I'll put it, but I'll probably say something like I'm not a guy who's gonna waste his time playing games, and to hit me up when she knows what she wants. (Suggestions?)

HankMoody had a good breakdown of how to handle texting with women. If you haven't already, I'd check his thread: On Nexting Bitches (And it also applies to texting bitches)

I'd even suggest asking him directly for advice on the situation. He seems to have clear idea for dealing with these kinds of situations.

[HankMoody]

Oh jeez... awful, awful interaction. You literally stole defeat from the jaws of victory. Take this constructively, and I enjoyed reading the post...

Game is played mostly in "comfort" - making her comfortable being around you, seeing how cool you are around your friends, not flying off the handle in tough situations, etc. Comfort doesn't mean becoming her BFF pen pal, it means reassuring her that you're a high value, socially competent man who is desired by women and admired by other men. She should want to make out with you because you're cool, interesting, and masculine. Not because she thinks she has to, or feels pressured. Because you're the prize.

Right out of the gate, you talked way too much about making out like it was a negotiation or even an ultimatum. On the second date, the message you sent her was essentially "Make out with me when I say so or I'll freak out and probably never talk to you again." That does not build comfort, and it's not alpha. That comes off like an emotional female throwing a temper tantrum.

I wrote about this in the nexting thread, but here is the thing...

When we talk about "wasting time", it refers to betas who will take a woman out on 10 fancy dates expecting sex, and never get a peck on the cheek. This is a total waste of time, effort, and money. That certainly wasn't the case here, as you got to second base. Clearly she has some sexual interest in you.

I've noticed that there are certain blog posts on internet suggesting that any woman who doesn't give it up after two margaritas is wasting your time, simply looking for validation, and in turn you should put them in their place the instant they say no to blowing you. Candidly, I used to do this myself. But having learned from real life experience, that's total horseshit, horrible advice, and will quickly give you a bad reputation. More often than not, following this advice leads to stealing defeat from the jaws of victory, which is what happened here.

Every interaction with a woman where you don't bang or get your cock sucked isn't necessarily a waste of time. Mystery theorizes that on average it takes about 7 hours of building comfort to get a bang, and I think that's about right, provided she's not just a smut looking for a deep dicking. Some women take a bit of patience, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Plus, this one does sound cool and worth spending time with.

Breaking it down...

When you were in bed cuddling, that was your chance to make a move. If you're cuddling, playing with her boobs, and she's playing with your beard, you're there. Contrary to what SJWs say, asking for permission just kills the mood. You should have just stroked her hair, looked her in the eye, and gone for the kiss. If she resists, just laugh it off. Not a big deal. Regardless of the outcome, you're enjoying your time together.

When she said "Well I thought you said that I was a tease", that was just a little bit of last minute resistance. She was looking for you to build a little bit more comfort. A good response would have been "I did? That wasn't very nice of me. You're SO not a tease..." or "Nuh uh, I said your flirting needs work..." Anything that makes her laugh works.

Then when she said "Is that the only reason you brought me here?", this was again last minute resistance and an effort to build more comfort. It was a classic case of "anti-slut defense." What you should have said is "Well, I was actually hoping you'd clean the place" or "No! I was hoping you'd fix my cable box." Again, anything that makes her grin is good for demolishing anti-slut defense. You said exactly the opposite of what she wanted to hear.

Finally, your approach of "I'm not a guy who plays games, hit me up when you know what you want" is terrible, awful game. For three reasons. First off, you come off as a whiny butthurt brat. If you're upset with anyone, it should be yourself. Second, you're putting the ball in her court. Do you think one day she's going to be like "Hey, you're really cool, and I've decided that I DO know what I want! I want to make out with you and give you babies! Can I come over?" Absolutely not. That is the worst text you could possibly send, and you're acting with pure emotion. If you truly feel she's wasting your time, simply stop letting her without saying anything - just do it. Third, never tell a woman to "stop playing games." It's called "game" because it's a competition out there. Women play games because it's part of their DNA. If you want prime poon, you have to be able to win the game, not demand she stop playing it. Telling a woman to "stop playing games" makes you come off like a sore loser.

Moving forward, you need to keep it way lighter. Dial it back a bit, let her come to you, and make sure your interactions are fun. Stop discussing making out with her, and instead give her reasons to want to make out with you. Continue to spin other plates and do whatever you do for fun instead of chasing after her like a sad puppy dog - don't invest too much into the relationship at this stage. Keep your text messages short and light, but avoid coming off as butthurt. Do not have any discussions about your "relationship" over text. If the opportunity for getting physical presents itself again, don't be afraid to go for the kiss, but don't act like a jerk if she doesn't reciprocate, either.

Remember - patience and stoicism are two foundations of the masculine virtues. Women gravitate towards you when you're a stable, independent, masculine presence in their life.

[GoldHawkStar]

^Everything you said makes sense. Yes, I realize now that by far my biggest mistake of last night was not just fucking going for it when I had the chances. I'm kicking myself for that.

So what now though? I do want to pursue this girl, but as you said I should let her come to me. But she still hasn't texted me and the day is almost over. And next week is finals week - After that, she's gone for the summer. Any way to save face now? Anything to text her? Or should I wait another day and see what happens.

[Nascimento]

Just act.

You have more to lose by not acting than by making a move.

Read that again. You know this already, but drill the thought into the back of your head.

You're scared to act because you're afraid of some awful rejection. I'm not going to lie and tell you that isn't a possibility. It is. But it's highly unlikely.

I once had a girl drive *me* into a damn deserted pier at 1 AM on a weeknight at the end of our date. She parked somewhere clearly looking for a place with dim/no lighting. I took the cue to move it to the backseat, and we began making out.

But back then, I was all about "taking things slow," because I didn't want any sudden moves to blow my chances at sealing the deal.

I told myself I'd take my time kissing her... She was a cool girl I'd say... No rush, there's always the next date.

After 20 minutes with just a making out and minimal touching (again I was scared to move fast too quickly), she said it was late and drove me home.

I was excited to see her again on the next date and pick things up where we left off. Guess what? I never saw her again.

I kicked myself for weeks after that. Back then, I had just been with one girl beforehand, like you.

I learned from that mistake. I'm now ruthless when it comes to escalating, when I'm in the right situation.

Tax it to the game and learn from your mistake and you'll be an efficient closer in no time.

[HankMoody]

(05-01-2016 08:08 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

^Everything you said makes sense. Yes, I realize now that by far my biggest mistake of last night was not just fucking going for it when I had the chances. I'm kicking myself for that.

So what now though? I do want to pursue this girl, but as you said I should let her come to me. But she still hasn't texted me and the day is almost over. And next week is finals week - After that, she's gone for the summer. Any way to save face now? Anything to text her? Or should I wait another day and see what happens.

Well, here is the bad news... once a relationship is fucked, it's usually fucked. Generally you have to start it right from the outset, and then it snowballs on itself from there. It's always easier to start a new relationship than to salvage an old one. If she hasn't texted you, that's a bad sign. Women love to text and almost always initiate the interaction if the attraction is there.

I'd wait until tomorrow. From there, if she hasn't said anything, send something real light like "chu doin". If she doesn't respond to that, it's virtually a guarantee that you're blown out. Do not double text her under circumstances, get emotional over text, or apologize for what happened. If she doesn't reply, it's a lost cause.

If she replies but it's with some kind of missive about what happened, reply with something light, funny and irreverent. Chances are you're blown out anyway, but something funny at least gives you a chance.

If you respond to her text emotionally or apologizing, it's a certainty that you're blown out. Women actually hate weak men who apologize, and emotional men who act like females.

Whatever happens, chalk it up to a learning experience. Game is a matter of competence, not confidence. With enough practice, this all comes naturally. I learned through trial and error - mostly error.

[redbeard]

Good luck next time, soldier.

(05-01-2016 08:08 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

So what now though? I do want to pursue this girl, but as you said I should let her come to me. But she still hasn't texted me and the day is almost over. And next week is finals week - After that, she's gone for the summer. Any way to save face now? Anything to text her? Or should I wait another day and see what happens.

On a micro level - let her chill out for a bit and forget how weak your game was, hit her up sometime next week, grow a pair, and pull the trigger.

On a macro level - it's apparent that you have a long way to go, so use this as a learning experience. Piggybacking off my last post...I had a similar situation when I was 16 with an absolute *knockout*. For whatever reason she was interested...started driving me home from school, asking me to hang out, hitting me up, eating lunch with me, whatever. I finally got her to come over one night and we end up lying in my bed cuddling until 11 PM talking and laughing, but I for the life of me could not grow the courage to kiss her.

Things ended up fizzling out between us because I failed to be masculine enough. She ended up in an LTR with one of my friends and I still kick myself when I think of how happy they were, she was a great chick that I missed out on.

Nowadays, whenever I think about kissing a girl, I think back to that instance. I think about all the opportunities, all the ones who got away, all the girls I should have made passionate love with. I no longer have the problem of "when to kiss a girl." If anything, my problem is kissing them too early, and that's a good problem to have.

What I'm saying is the hardest lessons are the ones you learn first hand. You wouldn't want to have good style unless you showed up at a party and got laughed out because you looked like a clown. You wouldn't want to develop game unless you are frustrated with your sex life.

It's said "all the greats have short memories":

But on the other side of the coin...experiences are useless if you don't learn. You are in college...I'd bet there are other stunners right outside your window (unless Gio has taken them all)...

[GoldHawkStar]

Alright. I'm gonna wait until tomorrow, and then text her based on what HankMoody said.

I'm going to have no expectations. Everything is a possibility. Maybe I'll work it into meeting up before she goes home (I swear to God if that happens I'm making a move within the first 5-10 minutes). Maybe I'll just have light conversation and at least turn it into a To Be Continued for next year. Or maybe she may not reply at all.

My biggest weakness was expecting she was going to throw herself at me, not thinking I would have to do hardly any escalation.

I think somebody said it in this thread, that it was a bad idea that I was assuming I had it in the bag.

I feel like shit today, but I'm going to try my best to dust myself off as quick as possible, tuck in my dick, and learn from this experience.

The longer you wait to escalate, the more of a problem it becomes.

[Rhyme or Reason]

PT and Hank hit all the points right on the head. I'll add that you should avoid talking about politics with chicks. Even if they 100 percent agree with your viewpoints (as apparently was the case here) it's sure to give her a case of sahara vagina.

Anything overly intellectual or "heavy" is going to redirect her focus off the sexual tension brewing between you. Always keep it light. It's hard to transition from talking philosophy to talking about how you'd like to insert your meat puppet into one or more of her orifices.

Next time, don't worry too much about "getting to know her" . That's what betas think dates are about. They're not. The point is to see if she's down to fuck. That's it.

[Gustavus Adolphus]

You were so fucking money, and you didn't even know it.

I think this can still be salvaged if you play it right.

Next week is finals, then she's gone right? If it were me, I'd limit the logic and start playing to the emotional side. Things are going to get serious from an academic perspective, look for times that you can provide an escape from that temporarily.

The key is you need to unscrew your head and throw it away. You're thinking too much about this, even saying you're going to kiss in the first 5-10 min next time you see her. Don't put it like that. Start riding the wave and act when the tension is hot, a little lull in the conversation, a lick or bite of her lips, when her eyes get big and seem to look right through you, any second you feel your body say "now is the time", go with your gut and trust it.

As for how to flip this negative ending around, I'd take the approach of slightly acknowledging my own poor game, then come with a high energy type fun personality.

Maybe if you haven't heard from her in the next day, give her a call around lunch time (or whenever you think she'll answer) and tell her "Hey my bad for being Oscar the grouch the other night. I'm out of the trash can and back at my place tonight. Why don't you meet me for dinner at 8."

If she agrees, and comes over, cook something really easy like spaghetti and a small salad. Get her involved by setting the table and chopping veggies and making the salad. If y'all are laughing and having fun, doing a bit of a meal prep dance between the stove, the table, and the fridge, just casually force her to be in your way, and take your kiss and end it first and go back to what you were doing like it's no big deal.

Then keep escalating and pulling back. 2 steps forward, one back. Until she can't stand it anymore.

Maybe you get the bang and maybe you don't, but at least you tried and she knows it. Right now you're the guy who is too timid to kiss her. Why would she fuck you?

The closer it gets to her leaving the more aggressive you will need to play this. The moment she leaves, you will lose all momentum.

The worst thing she can say is no, but she doesn't have to, you're doing that for her.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(05-02-2016 11:05 AM)Gustavus Adolphus Wrote:  

You were so fucking money, and you didn't even know it.

I think this can still be salvaged if you play it right.

Next week is finals, then she's gone right? If it were me, I'd limit the logic and start playing to the emotional side. Things are going to get serious from an academic perspective, look for times that you can provide an escape from that temporarily.

The key is you need to unscrew your head and throw it away. You're thinking too much about this, even saying you're going to kiss in the first 5-10 min next time you see her. Don't put it like that. Start riding the wave and act when the tension is hot, a little lull in the conversation, a lick or bite of her lips, when her eyes get big and seem to look right through you, any second you feel your body say "now is the time", go with your gut and trust it.

As for how to flip this negative ending around, I'd take the approach of slightly acknowledging my own poor game, then come with a high energy type fun personality.

Maybe if you haven't heard from her in the next day, give her a call around lunch time (or whenever you think she'll answer) and tell her "Hey my bad for being Oscar the grouch the other night. I'm out of the trash can and back at my place tonight. Why don't you meet me for dinner at 8."

If she agrees, and comes over, cook something really easy like spaghetti and a small salad. Get her involved by setting the table and chopping veggies and making the salad. If y'all are laughing and having fun, doing a bit of a meal prep dance between the stove, the table, and the fridge, just casually force her to be in your way, and take your kiss and end it first and go back to what you were doing like it's no big deal.

Then keep escalating and pulling back. 2 steps forward, one back. Until she can't stand it anymore.

Maybe you get the bang and maybe you don't, but at least you tried and she knows it. Right now you're the guy who is too timid to kiss her. Why would she fuck you?

The closer it gets to her leaving the more aggressive you will need to play this. The moment she leaves, you will lose all momentum.

The worst thing she can say is no, but she doesn't have to, you're doing that for her.

[PapayaTapper]

(05-01-2016 08:41 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

My biggest weakness was expecting she was going to throw herself at me, not thinking I would have to do hardly any escalation.

I think somebody said it in this thread, that it was a bad idea that I was assuming I had it in the bag.

The only pussy youre ever guaranteed is the one you're ball's deep in.

(05-01-2016 08:41 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

I feel like shit today, but I'm going to try my best to dust myself off as quick as possible, tuck in my dick, and learn from this experience.

That's the spirit. This shit has happened to all of us along the way. Learn from it, let it go, move on, grow

(05-01-2016 08:41 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

The longer you wait to escalate, the more of a problem it becomes.

First bang rules are different from all subsequent bangs

Escalation has to be calibrated...so keep in mind there are no "rules" but rather guidelines that highly increase your chance of success. There's no substitute for experience in making escalation almost as a"subconscious" response to her cues. When you do it CONFIDENTLY because YOU feel it your chances of her NOT feeling it go way down.

Remember...

Attraction is not a choice. Game can cause and/or increase attraction

Attraction is not enough...you need her arousal

Her insecurity about your arousal/intentions is what causes her arousal

Her arousal is fragile...it can be killed very quickly (in this particular case by inaction combined with "asking for permission". She's laying in your bed, she's already given it and EXPECTS you to take what she's offered, when she's offered it.

That's why I recommend reading "Tuth's New Recipe for First Date Bang". If there was ever a "formula" that could be followed it should be that. I believe it should apply to ANY date and should be more accurately titled "First Bang Recipe"

(05-01-2016 09:00 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  

PT and Hank hit all the points right on the head. I'll add that you should avoid talking about politics with chicks. Even if they 100 percent agree with your viewpoints (as apparently was the case here) it's sure to give her a case of sahara vagina.

Anything overly intellectual or "heavy" is going to redirect her focus off the sexual tension brewing between you. Always keep it light. It's hard to transition from talking philosophy to talking about how you'd like to insert your meat puppet into one or more of her orifices.

Next time, don't worry too much about "getting to know her" .

This...Keep convo "light" and breezy with innuendo mixed in to ramp up the sexual tension.

Fuck her first then decide if she's worth getting to know.

[brob]

Experience breeds confidence. If you fuck it up one particular 8 or 9 or whatever she is, you can rest assured there's dozens just like her in your future.

Take a look at whatever anxieties you may possess today and envision yourself completely fucking it up with the girl. Then laugh it off and say who cares? At the very least you'll have a funny, humbling story to look back on one day. Recognize how little significance one interaction really holds in the big picture.

When you fuck up just laugh it off and learn from it.

And I think you know now that the next time a girl is laying in your bed, you just go for it.

We've all been there. Had a similar experience when I was in 12th grade where I was just a nervous boy scared to get rejected and ruin all the progress I had made. You want her to guide you the whole way. But that's not her role.

[kaotic]

Damn man reading the conversation you had with this chick was honestly cringe worthy, the gents above absolutely displayed what was needed for you. You were on team fucked up game, now it's team salvage if she reaches out to you after contacting her again.

This is absolute GREAT case study of what not to do when you have a chick late at night in bed.

Hawk for your sake I hope when you do contact her and reach out to her she hits you back and you can hang out.

Sometimes, you get one shot.

Keep us updated.

[GoldHawkStar]

Update:

Texted her 2-3 hours ago. This is the entirety of today's texting so far. Went with what HankMoody said: Didn't mention the other night, keeping things light and joking, waiting quite a while between texts.

She goes home Wednesday or Thursday, I go home Friday probably. Also, Wednesday is my 21st birthday and I think she knows it. She's not 21. (Plus she has me on Facebook, so she'll get a notification.)

Figured I'd throw that in for relevance - Maybe I can work that in somehow.

[Cruisen_Chubby]

^ Sounds very lady-like....

PS--- She does not want to be treated like a lady. She is repulsed by the fact that she put it on a platter and you didn't take it. Offended, really.

Looks like you lost her, but the fact that she texts you back means it's salvageable.

[kaotic]

Text game needs work, there was literally nothing of value in that text.

Hawk: What trouble are you getting in today ?
Scorned Female: Studying
Hawk: I'd rather be prepping my liver for my 21st, what's your finals schedule look like this week ?
Scorned Female: lol yeah that'd be nice, um, I have X this day, Y this day, Z this day.
Hawk: Sounds rough, nothing you can't handle right ? We'll celebrate my birthday and end of your Z final on Z day, you in ?

Scorned Female:
Answer 1: Sounds great, what do you have in mind ?
Answer 2: Um idk about that, I'll be busy then I gotta get ready to head home.
Answer 3: No response.

Hawk 1: Well I know you aren't 21, I'll pick up a nice bottle of wine/vodka/whatever and you can cruise through the pad, then we can head out to X venue (that is under 21 friendly but serves beer) - plausible deniability being you'll be "leaving" your place after pregaming, when you really aren't.

Hawk2: More than likely rejected, counter text would be nice here, maybe another feeler close to your birthday.

Hawk3: Next her.

You see how text game you can get intel out of her ? Then setup a strong plan to get her out ?

Text game is extremely important in this day and age, especially if you fumble upon your words like you did when saying you wanted to make out with her.

It gives you pause, time to think, review, then send a strategically placed text.

The texts you have now - about it being a nice day, tell it's going to be like that all week, try to get her out to hangout with you, go for the makeout maybe at a neutral venue if you can't get her to your pad. THEN try and bounce her to your pad.

To be honest it might be a lost cause, but hell she's texting you still, she might be giving you one more chance.

[GoldHawkStar]

A couple more texts since I posted that screenshot. She just read the last one but no reply (about 30 minutes ago).

Kept it light. Didn't read kaotic's post until now, but also in general I've been getting mixed advice in this thread that I should either keep it light right now or set up a meet up asap.

That's it then. No double texts obviously. I'm throwing in the towel until next school year when I'll probably hit her up towards the beginning of the year and casually lead in to seeing if she's interested in a fuck buddy relationship like we were talking about. (Obviously that won't be my Day 1 conversation with her.) Probably set up a meet up/hang out but escalate quick unlike Saturday.

If, on the other hand, she does hit me up during this week, that means I'm going for it. I'm gonna try to set something up before she leaves.

Anyway, I did this to myself. The good is that I know now that if I could do the weekend over, I would get the bang. I know what I did wrong, I know where I fucked up. Learn, adapt, move on.

[PapayaTapper]

(05-02-2016 05:20 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

l I've been getting mixed advice in this thread that I should either keep it light right now or set up a meet up asap.

Ahhh...ok

Pre first bang

1. Keep in person conversations light, fun, sexually charged,,,always

2. Keep texts brief and logistically/ meet oriented,,,always