Hi, I recently posted this on Reddit, and several people told me I was being a dumb cuck, so I just want to make sure I'm not crazy or deluding myself:
I am 24 and live in America. My mom and her family are Argentinian and live in Argentina. When I was 16 and living in Argentina temporarily, I met my girl who I am still with today, and am on the verge of (finally) bringing her to America. She comes from a traditional family. Was a virgin when we first got together. Great relationship with her father.
However, I used to be very libertarian and I thought traditionalism and monogamy were stupid. We started officially dating in when I was 17, but when I moved back to the U.S., I told her we would stay together but that we each had the right to sleep with whoever we wanted. This was in July 2009, and her reaction when I told her this was to start crying and begging me not to sleep with other women, and telling me she had no interest in sleeping with other guys. However, I told her the only way I would stay with her is if I could sleep with other girls, and I insisted that I really, really didn't care if she slept with other guys.
It took a whole year and 3 months, but in October 2010 it finally happened. She called me almost in tears one Sunday afternoon, telling me she had slept with some guy the night before. I felt a combination of rage and disgust, but I stupidly told myself I was wrong to feel this, and told her it was okay and that as long as she didn't develop feelings for this guy or see him again, she hadn't done anything wrong.
We had made plans to live together and start a family in the future, but in the meantime, we (foolishly) continued our "deal" as we called it, where we could each sleep with whoever we wanted. I hooked up with a couple of girls during this time, too. Then, about a year later, in November of 2011, she called me again almost in tears, telling me she had made out with a guy at a party, gone into a room with him, but turned him down for sex at the last second (she didn't do anything with him except make out), because she "couldn't do that to me again." I stupidly told her that she should have slept with him if she wanted, and not to worry so much about it.
Two years later, in 2013, when I was 21, I discovered some "red pill" sites, and I started to realize that my girl was something way more valuable than just a really good friend with benefits. I realized that her staying a virgin for me was the best, most loving thing she ever did for me, even if I was too immature to realize it at the time (before we started officially dating, she once told me she was saving herself for me, and I told her she was being silly). I also realized how much I fucked up by suggesting and allowing her to sleep with another man. At least when she slept with that guy, they used condoms and the guy didn't come (so it's not like his semen actually went inside her), but still, I couldn't believe I did something so stupid as encouraging my girl to sleep with other men, even if we were geographically separated at the time. I have deep, deep regret about this. In addition to letting my girl sleep with a guy, during this period of time I also let my younger sister hang out with one of my older friends and lose her virginity to him, which she now deeply regrets. I have so many deep regrets from this time period. I was so stupid and immature.
As soon as I became "red pill," I immediately told her that the only way we were staying together is if she promised never to do anything with another guy ever again, and that I was not going to be celibate while I waited for her, either. She agreed without a problem (and we are currently still living under this arrangement, since we are just now starting the immigration process and are still geographically apart).
I have spoken to her several times about my feelings about the issue, and from what I gather, she feels horrible about having slept with some other guy. I do blame myself as much as I blame her for what happened. I have told her that if we have a daughter, I want to keep her away from guys and safeguard her virginity, and my girl agrees. I feel like I should just be able to forgive her and forgive myself and move on. But I just want to hear peoples' opinion on here to make sure I'm not just being a delusional idiot.
I am 24 and live in America. My mom and her family are Argentinian and live in Argentina. When I was 16 and living in Argentina temporarily, I met my girl who I am still with today, and am on the verge of (finally) bringing her to America. She comes from a traditional family. Was a virgin when we first got together. Great relationship with her father.
However, I used to be very libertarian and I thought traditionalism and monogamy were stupid. We started officially dating in when I was 17, but when I moved back to the U.S., I told her we would stay together but that we each had the right to sleep with whoever we wanted. This was in July 2009, and her reaction when I told her this was to start crying and begging me not to sleep with other women, and telling me she had no interest in sleeping with other guys. However, I told her the only way I would stay with her is if I could sleep with other girls, and I insisted that I really, really didn't care if she slept with other guys.
It took a whole year and 3 months, but in October 2010 it finally happened. She called me almost in tears one Sunday afternoon, telling me she had slept with some guy the night before. I felt a combination of rage and disgust, but I stupidly told myself I was wrong to feel this, and told her it was okay and that as long as she didn't develop feelings for this guy or see him again, she hadn't done anything wrong.
We had made plans to live together and start a family in the future, but in the meantime, we (foolishly) continued our "deal" as we called it, where we could each sleep with whoever we wanted. I hooked up with a couple of girls during this time, too. Then, about a year later, in November of 2011, she called me again almost in tears, telling me she had made out with a guy at a party, gone into a room with him, but turned him down for sex at the last second (she didn't do anything with him except make out), because she "couldn't do that to me again." I stupidly told her that she should have slept with him if she wanted, and not to worry so much about it.
Two years later, in 2013, when I was 21, I discovered some "red pill" sites, and I started to realize that my girl was something way more valuable than just a really good friend with benefits. I realized that her staying a virgin for me was the best, most loving thing she ever did for me, even if I was too immature to realize it at the time (before we started officially dating, she once told me she was saving herself for me, and I told her she was being silly). I also realized how much I fucked up by suggesting and allowing her to sleep with another man. At least when she slept with that guy, they used condoms and the guy didn't come (so it's not like his semen actually went inside her), but still, I couldn't believe I did something so stupid as encouraging my girl to sleep with other men, even if we were geographically separated at the time. I have deep, deep regret about this. In addition to letting my girl sleep with a guy, during this period of time I also let my younger sister hang out with one of my older friends and lose her virginity to him, which she now deeply regrets. I have so many deep regrets from this time period. I was so stupid and immature.
As soon as I became "red pill," I immediately told her that the only way we were staying together is if she promised never to do anything with another guy ever again, and that I was not going to be celibate while I waited for her, either. She agreed without a problem (and we are currently still living under this arrangement, since we are just now starting the immigration process and are still geographically apart).
I have spoken to her several times about my feelings about the issue, and from what I gather, she feels horrible about having slept with some other guy. I do blame myself as much as I blame her for what happened. I have told her that if we have a daughter, I want to keep her away from guys and safeguard her virginity, and my girl agrees. I feel like I should just be able to forgive her and forgive myself and move on. But I just want to hear peoples' opinion on here to make sure I'm not just being a delusional idiot.
![[Image: 61kdor9ymuL._UX385_.jpg]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61kdor9ymuL._UX385_.jpg)