[AnsonOrHansson]

Hi guys,

I'm a 20 yo guy from central europe, and I guess I'm pretty much a hardcase newbie. I have zero friends at home, and was living the social outcast lifestyle for about two years. I'm moving to a new city to go to college in September, wich seems like a great opportunity to change that. The problem is, that both my self esteem and my social skills are pretty fucking bad.

Thats why I've been in SEA for a good month now, hoping to loosen up a bit and get comfortable around people.
To make it short, I was pretty successful when it comes to speaking with people in hostels and doing activities and tours with them.

On the other hand, I wasn't able to loosen up even once. I'm very bad at fun and light conversations, because I'm serious all the time, and give serious answers to jokes and stuff. I also talk by far the least in a conversation, and I don't remember an exception. I think people keep socializing with me, because they pity me and think I will eventually loosen up. We run out of topics instead.

I used to be different as a teenager, though, more like the funny fat guy. But I smoked a lot of weed since 16, and got consecutively more shy and insecure. I eventually cut all ties to my remaining friends at 18, attemting to start a new life. (didn't work, was the same only without any friends) I was pretty paranoid at that time, even when sober. I suspected my friends installing cameras in my room, and viruses on my mobile phone and pc. I was also hearing sounds, or rhythms, one paff being enough to trigger it.
It has been quite a time since then, but I quit smoking only 2 months before. I have absolutely no desire to smoke again.

To my looks: I look very young, and below average. I'm 185, but skinny with a bad shoulder/hip ratio. I have also a little bit too much fat, but only a few kg. I will go to gym as soon as I get home, and started to do pushups and crunches recently.
I think about my looks pretty much all the time, almost obsessively.

I've been friend zoned, but never talked sexually to a woman, let alone kissed one.

To be honest, I feel pretty bad right now, almost hopeless. I've been thinking about going to a hooker for years, but I don't want that.
Should I go to the Philippines and try to get some experience? Can I even score there as a guy who looks like a 15 year old kid?
I would also be grateful for general advice on my situation.

[Barron]

Why go to SEA for sex? Just get a prostitute where you're at if what degenerate society says about the V-card is really so important to you.

That voice in your head that tells you you're fat/ugly/awkward will never go away if you think spending money is the answer. In fact that will make it worse because you will be investing in avoidance.

Change takes work. It will be the hardest work you've ever done, and that's a good thing. Sounds like you've never given yourself the opportunity to embrace challenge. Learn to love challenge, discomfort, sacrifice... that's the path to self-improvement.

And you thought running away was the answer. No. Running is easy, anger is easy, spending money is easy, masturbation is easy, junk food is easy. Stop doing what's easy and see how things change.

Soon you'll be dead, along with everything and everyone you've ever known and loved. Choose wisely how you spend the remainder of your time, there are no second chances.

[Phoenix]

I don't think it's a good idea. You sound like you're in a very weak condition, and you need to do a year of personal construction. You should get a moderate handle on things socially and self-improvement wise in your home country. Then you can take a trip to an easy country. Many of the guys hitting up the Philippines were already completely capable of getting laid elsewhere. You aren't guaranteed a lay there just because you're physically there. If you went there and were unable to get a lay, it would be crushing.

So first, get your social ability to at least the bare minimum (you can approach, you can go on a date), get more activities into your life so you stop obsessing over yourself, and get seriously into the gym and eating/supplementation.

[dispenser]

I recommend alcohol and online dating.
Just blunder through it; all you really need, in your SEA situation, is a movie to "watch" and a basic understanding of kino.
You won't necessarily get top shelf pussy, but you will get it. Any first step is good enough.

You come off as a subordinate. You look for topics of conversation - you seek approval.

Go to restaurants alone. Hire people to do things. Get your shoes shined. Learn what it's like to feel like a boss.

[deca]

In the whole scheme of things, the Where and How of loss of v-card really, truly don't matter, especially if you're destined for a high notch count career. The only issue I have, simply as a personal matter, is that Asian women are VERY ugly. Low hanging fruit if you will. Better to go White or Latina.

[Mercenary]

(04-11-2016 01:48 AM)deca Wrote:  

The only issue I have, simply as a personal matter, is that Asian women are VERY ugly. Low hanging fruit if you will. Better to go White or Latina.

[cascadecombo]

thread-29394.html
thread-54554.html

Yes yes, they're all ugly as sin.

[BangBoy123]

Don't worry about who is your first lay, prostitute, non-prostitute, ugly, fat whatever. You won't remember her much anyway, whoever it is you will get some swagger!

You don't need to work out to lose your virginity, but of course in the future it will help.

Congratulations on looking, in 30 years you might be in the Phils banging 18yr olds

[Il Bersagliere]

(04-11-2016 01:48 AM)deca Wrote:  

In the whole scheme of things, the Where and How of loss of v-card really, truly don't matter, especially if you're destined for a high notch count career. The only issue I have, simply as a personal matter, is that Asian women are VERY ugly. Low hanging fruit if you will. Better to go White or Latina.

Sebastian, that you, bud?

[Mercenary]

(04-11-2016 07:31 AM)BangBoy123 Wrote:  

Don't worry about who is your first lay, prostitute, non-prostitute, ugly, fat whatever. You won't remember her much anyway, whoever it is you will get some swagger!

Have to disagree here.

Your first lay is not something you forget and should not be paid for, and not be with a type of girl you regret like a really fat or ugly female.

Losing your virginity at 20 or 21 or 22 makes no huge difference in the grand scheme of things as long as you are doing the approaches and putting in the work.

Generally Asian girls raised in asia are a bit easier to approach because they are less bitchy and won't shoot you down as badly. Also they allow you a few more beta mistakes when gaming them and sometimes give you a bit more time to get the lay. Not all of them and not all the time...but more often than a western girl.

But you still have to lead the interaction, make the decisions and escalate with touching her and eventually going for the kiss.

This is universal across all woman worldwide, no matter where they come from or how they are raised.

[RagnarLothbrok]

(04-10-2016 11:33 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Many of the guys hitting up the Philippines were already completely capable of getting laid elsewhere. You aren't guaranteed a lay there just because you're physically there. If you went there and were unable to get a lay, it would be crushing.

I disagree to a certain extent. I know plenty of guys who were not capable of getting laid in their home countries and did perfectly fine in Thailand. Granted, the girls they banged were far from mindblowing, but still they got laid. And the Philippines are considered even easier than Thailand. It is true that you aren't getting laid just because you are white and in the Philippines. But when the OP puts in at least a bit of work, he will be successful for sure.

A trip to SEA to lose your virginity is the more extreme version of getting a hooker. In both cases you basically trade a respectable amount of money for pussy. If you lose your v-card to a hooker it won't change much. Yes, technically you are not a virgin any more. But nobody besides you will actually notice that. You think if you eventually end up sleeping with a "real" girl for the first time, she will notice a difference? Losing your v-card to a hooker doesn't teach you anything. Your sexual confidence will still be very low and you will learn nothing about interacting with women. It is a very very short term solution and only good to relieve some pressure. I can't recommend it.

If you are willing to invest more money and do a trip to SEA however, you will meet, interact with and fuck a lot more girls. You will slowly get used to being around girls and actually having success will boost your confidence. Even though the girls are easy there, you can still learn enough things. Things you wouldn't be able to learn that quickly in your home country. You just have to be careful not to get trapped in the SEA bubble. You absolutely must continue working on yourself and approaching girls when you are back in your home country. SEA is not a long term solution for most people! But it definitely can be a kickstart for your new life.

Finally, you have the long-term solution which is staying in your home country and going the long, hard way. It will be a lot of hard work without much success at first but if you keep pursuing your goals and keep putting in the work, no matter how frustrating it might seem from time to time, it will eventually be worth it. I definitely recommend to go the long way, but a trip to SEA can be a very good idea to make the long way not only more enjoyable but also to help you retain your focus.

[Svoboda]

(04-09-2016 12:43 PM)AnsonOrHansson Wrote:  

Thats why I've been in SEA for a good month now, hoping to loosen up a bit and get comfortable around people.
To make it short, I was pretty successful when it comes to speaking with people in hostels and doing activities and tours with them.

Where in SEA are you now?

[Razor Beast]

The virginity thing is a state of mind. If you lose it to a hooker you will still have that state of mind because you haven't had a natural progression to sex with a normal girl.

[Rawmeo]

If you're on the shy side, try the online dating thing. I live in Thailand and frequently do "hat tricks" (5 girls in 5 days). There's no real excuse for not having pulled at least once. Philippines is the easiest of all, followed by Thailand, but all SEA countries are pretty easy.

- How do you approach girls?
- Do you maximize your looks?
- Are you in a quite reasonable body shape? (no need to have a 6-pack, but don't be obese)

[AnsonOrHansson]

Hey guys, thanks a lot for your answers. I've been reading here before, so I was expecting good answers but I'm still amazed by the length, quality and number of responses.

Anyway, I wasn't sure if it's better to answer one by one or make a long post. I addressed everyone who directly, but might switch since it got pretty long.

@NomadoftheEU: You're right, I think me running away from challenge and doing whats easy is my biggest problem (or a symptom of it), but I dont see much written about how to overcome that weakness. I suppose it's just start doing and then forming habits?

That you anticipated my character pretty accurately in some points and disouraged me to go to the Philippines because of these points concerns me a bit.
Under the premise that I intend to change my lifestyle massively (but incrementally) and that I'm backpacking here anyway, do you still think it's a bad idea?

I would never want to live my whole life the easy way, in fact I look forward to my next challenges and the possibility to build character.

@Phoenix: I really see your point, and maybe you are right. The thing is, I tried getting myself there for years, and failed because I couldn't maintain healthy habits. I don't blame weed itself, but smoking it made it impossible for me.

Coming here was an act out of desperation, I was smoking all day and didn't have hobbies, school, friends or a job at the time (gap year before college, very good grades). So far it played out not too bad, since I interacted with a lot of people and keep doing so. Granted, I look like a fool most of the time and some people think I'm a weirdo, but thats ok when it allows me to get better. I imagine that dating would give me very good practice as well, even if I would not get laid. I never had a date before, and generally no experience whatsoever.

@dispenser: That sounds like a plan I guess I will try the tinder strategy from asdfk and meet up with as many women as possible. (the thoght alone terrifies me lol)

How could you tell I am a subordinate? I definitely feel that way, say sorry all the time and am overly friendly to anyone. When someone is in a weaker position in some way, I lower myself through awkward behavior or confessions.
I think it's due to my fucked up selfesteem, gotta fix that somehow.

@BangBoy123/Mercenary: If a non-prostitute passes the boner test, I'm ok with it. Prostitute is not really an option, unless I stay a virgin for many more years, wich I don't think will happen.

In fact, I feel like it actually matters in the grand scheme of things. It's not about virginity, but that I'm so utterly clueless and insecure when it comes to sexuality. I can't talk about it with men, and with attractive women I have trouble talking at all. I will go to college soon, and if I don't get my shit together these years, I will miss out on too much opportunity.

You say asian girls are easier to game. How much do you think is a "gold-digging-factor" involved when it comes to the stories about easy filipinas?

@RagnarLothbrok: Thanks for the reply, it actually made me feel good about my plans.

Given your reasoning it sounds like a very good idea to go there for young, inexperienced and of course desperate guys? That it's the more extreme version of a hooker might explain why not many guys do it

How old were the guys who got laid in Thailand, or what kind of guys?
I'm having way too many thoughts on wether I can get laid there or not, because I look so ugly and young.

@Svoboda: I'm in Vietnam.

@Rawmeo: I've been in SEA for two months :'D
To your questions:
- I don't approach. I also never had a sexually tensed conversation/moment with a girl before. Reason being that I see myself as bottom of the barrel and can't imagine a girl being attracted to me.
- You mean working out, style, skin etc? Not consistently and not now while traveling.
- I'm in a bad skinny-fit shape, however not fat, only a few kg too much.
However, I'm almost 1,90, but that's about it. Hips are wide af.

I was writing this text for way too long now, so I'm just gonna post it. I also booked a flight there pretty soon, so no talking me out of it

[RagnarLothbrok]

(04-25-2016 03:30 PM)AnsonOrHansson Wrote:  

@RagnarLothbrok: Thanks for your answer, given your reasoning it sounds like a very good idea to go there for young, inexperienced guys. To get things started and stuff. It actually gave me hope, that I can make this trip not completely pointless.

How old were the guys who got laid in Thailand, or what kind of guys?
I'm not sure if it actually applies to me because of my looks and physique (also behavior, but I'm there to improve that).

Early twenties, less than 180cm tall, also a few kgs too much, a bit socially "weird", very bad body language. To sum it up, they would definitely not get laid in their home countries. Actually this sounds a lot like you (no offense). I don't know how you look, but I have yet to see a guy who can't get laid in the Philippines because of his looks. So if your standards are not too high and you are cool with banging 5s and 6s (at first), I am sure you will get laid in the Philippines and maybe in Thailand as well. Just try Tinder and you will see if you are good looking enough. It is as simple as that.

(04-25-2016 03:30 PM)AnsonOrHansson Wrote:  

@Rawmeo:
To your questions:
- I don't approach. I also never had a sexually tensed conversation/moment with a girl before. Reason being that I see myself as bottom of the barrel and can't imagine a girl being attracted to me.

And exactly that will change once you get laid. This is crucial. You need the confidence to believe that girls are attracted to you. And the easiest way to get that confidence is to bang a bunch of girls in the Philippines.

Your story sounds similar to mine btw. You can read it here:

thread-45719.html

That was a bit more than a year ago and I can't stress enough how much it has changed my life.

[AnsonOrHansson]

Hey, sorry for the late reply. I'm currently in the Philippines and having both good and bad times. I lost my virginity and finally have some sort of sex life, wich is almost mind blowing for me I spent a week in Cebu and now I'm in Manila since two weeks, and for one more week. In hindsight I wouldn't spend so much time in manila again, but I already booked the apartment and it's not too bad after all.

I'm just going to write down how I lost my virginity, for the ones who are interested. I met the girl over Tinder and got her basically with friendzone game haha. We texted quite a lot and I literally told her all about my issues, and I had completely written her off. After a super awkward meeting she said she wanted to help me out, so we had a movie date. I was comically nervous, after more than one hour and several hints I finally put my hand around her shoulder
Well in the end it was her who started kissing and also the sex. I was so nervous that I couldn't cum, even though we tried it for some time. I still felt like a king, and when I went to the 7/11 to get water and snacks I couldn't stop smiling One of the best days of my life!
At that point I would really like to thank all of you guys for your advice, even though by far not everything is sunshine here it was definitely worth it! I think both parties were kinda right, you can get laid here easily but you have to put in at least a bit of effort, and if you are very self conscious and alone, it can be hard to not feel very lonely sometimes.
I believe that even for complete beginners going here either with a friend, some experience in dealing with rejection or a practical mind and not too low self esteem is a very good way to learn a lot about game. I have neither of that and don't regret going here, even though I should have tackled things differently.

Like RagnarLothbrock stated, the confidence that I can attract girls is crucial and I was trying to get there. The problem is that I am, at least in my current shape, unattractive. Thats why I'm still extremely self conscious, and therefore insecure and hesitant in bed and in general. In cebu I ended up only spending time with that girl, and here in manila I just had four dates, from wich two only were making out with me. (the third was a virgin and unattractive, so I didn't try anything) I really tried my best with the two, they even slept in my bed but we didn't end up having sex! They didn't even let me touch their pussy without panties over it, and they kept their jeans on. They were too attractive for me I think. I got super selfconcious about that, and took it way too personally. The thing is, since I have an unusual facial structure, the discrepancy between nice pictures from me and reality is very high (people told me that too). That I'm very lonely here is also doing it's part, so I'm not doing much here at all. It's purely my fault, but wasting my time in my room was my pattern at home for years, so I kinda fell back into it. I'm too anxious to really go out, and need much effort to push myself to get out of my shell. I'm using tinder but I apparently suck at arranging dates. I don't handle rejection well, and I obsess over bad interactions instead of doing.

I know that a lot of you guys who are reading this will say I'm a stupid loser and I should just man up. I guess you would be right, but I started so low and being so lonely here in this place is very hard for me.

I know this is more of a rant, but I would be very grateful for any advice on how to deal with my situation. Even if it's pointing the obvious out, I'm just scared to act.

Thank you for your time and your efforts.

[Robert Plant]

Its not clear to me that you've stopped smoking weed. If not, I would advise you to stop smoking right away. When I was in University I had a weed habit and it made me feel very socially awkward. Even though I was a 9 SMV wise, I only got laid a few times. Smoking weed was 90% of the problem, taking feminists at face value was the other 10%.

[AnsonOrHansson]

I haven't been smoking weed for about 25 days. Before that one week of excessive smoking I didn't smoke for 3 months except for the occasional paff I got offered.
I'm sure though that it will take some time to get rid of the awkwardness, since I was smoking heavily for years. I guess you have a different background, but how long did it take you to 'recover' completely from the effects?

As a small update, I've been getting laid one more time. It really increased my confidence (temporary), since she seemed overly excited that I was interested in her and wouldnt stop taking selfies with me. Now one day later I have more dates with intelligent girls out of my league than I can fit in my schedule. I guess my problems were mainly due to having a confidence problem and being too risk averse. I will be more aggressive from now on to learn dealing with rejection and to make more mistakes from wich I can learn.
I'm aware that my problems are seemingly trivial, or even laughable, but I will just keep walking and growing no matter how stupid I look.

I can't express properly how thankful I am for the advice the community offered me so far, and for all the information that's treasured here. This site has changed my life for the good, and I'm just at the start of my journey.
Thank you very much guys!

[Slam]

Hey man, cheers on losing your V card. It's just the start for you.

If you haven't read Roosh's book Bang, it's worth a read. It'll help you in those situations where you are with the girl alone at your place and you want to escalate to sex. It would be very practical for you.

[scotian]

Make sure that you know the difference between a butt hole and a pussy hole because if she bends over and tells you to stick it in, it could be a chick with a dick.

[Kona]

(05-25-2016 03:17 PM)AnsonOrHansson Wrote:  

Now one day later I have more dates with intelligent girls out of my league than I can fit in my schedule

And you are in Manila?

Just don't give them any money. Their mother does not have cancer.

Aloha!

[AnsonOrHansson]

I just read this thread again and was like .. dude that was you? Can´t remember being THAT insecure

I banged a couple more girls there and had a nice mini LTR too, with a few cute fucks inbetween. With my first girls I was kinda afraid of gold diggers, but that fear was gone pretty fast. All but one were purely in for the dick. Even had a virgin. Also had two new bangs in less than 40 hours wich was cool.

Can´t wait to go back there with my boys. Gonna rent a Penthouse @ Trump Tower and fuck club sluts every night.

There is just one thing that sucks pretty hard. One chick is trying a pregnancy scam I think. She refuses to show any proof of it, so my guess is that she is going to show me a mixed baby in 6 months and make up some kind of story. Would appreciate advice/experiences on that.

Also caught the tripper, but that comes with the lifestyle I guess. Still I wont be that stupid about rawdogging anymore, as one STD and a possible pregnancy are just ridiculous for the few bangs I had.

That said, I still had a blast there obviously and can just recommend doing the same for any insecure virgin. Uglys included, even though I´d recommend a bit of personal construction before.

And, of course, if you´re stupid enough to go raw WATCH HER TAKING THE FUCKING AFTER-PILL, NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS.

[subterfuge]

nice, man. Thread makes me want to do something like that to get some notches! Would be cool to feel like a player for a month or so!

Is it really that easy there? I'm not a virgin, but have a very low count compared to most guys

Might need to investigate this as i'm getting nowhere with UK girls at all!

cheers

[AnsonOrHansson]

I struggled hard for a long time, but that was because I was in a bad emotional state. Then I fucked this upper class chick, and the next day another really cute one and from there things started going.

But since you know how to approach etc. you could get laid a lot from day one. Whats your age, looks, height etc?

I´d suggest spoofing your location with tinder and look for yourself how you can do there.

inb4 I´m not a game denialist, but since you dont seem to have terrific game, your looks are a valid way to gauge your success.