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How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?
#51

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-05-2016 10:46 AM)OceanKayak Wrote:  

Come on, really? This is the kind of attitude that earns Roosh V Forum members a reputation for being pro-rape.

[Image: facepalm3.gif]
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#52

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-04-2016 02:37 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

I find it hard to believe that you're complaining about a traditional wife whom you fuck 2 times a day and who only rarely rejects you in a very gentle way. By your own admission she doesn't even say "no", she's just asking you to give her a few hours to recover.

Relax, I am really not getting the vibe that she is rejecting you out of a lack of attraction. And I am also not getting the vibe that she minds your insistence. Just take it easy and keep gently pushing but also being appreciative of the good job she's doing. Exploding with anger and arguing over this "issue" is just not worth it and would only bring trouble.

This pretty much sums it up, I don't see the problem here. She "rejects" you kindly and to be honest I don't really blame her given that you're already having a ton of sex. Seems like the sex slave fantasy is a reality if you're really banging twice a day already, she's only asking for breaks because her vagina is probably so sore it would be physically impossible for her to bang again or it'll hurt her.
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#53

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-03-2016 05:36 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  

If you have a wife who has sex with you the majority of the times when you want it, and is pretty good in bed, how much sexual refusal do you tolerate the remainder of the time, before you make an issue of it?

I don't know how many guys share this fetish, but I have a strong desire to sexually own my wife, and to be able to take her whenever I want, as long as she's not physically ill. It's one of the reasons I've pushed her in the direction of being a housewife, so that she wouldn't be able to say "I'm tired from working all day" or "I have to work tomorrow". I want her to be my 24/7 sex slave. I told her, if she's going to say "I'm not in the mood" I'd rather she make a request rather than a demand, and let me still make the final decision.

Just to give you a little background, we're newly married. She's from the Philippines; I finally decided to go with a foreign woman after getting catastrophically frivorced by my borderline personality disordered, radical LGBTQ/feminist SJW blogging, American first wife. She's more traditional than some girls I encountered from, say, Manila, although she's in her late 20s and had a couple major relationships that didn't work out before the two of us met. She's lived with her churchgoing family and the rest of her clan in a pretty traditional Filipino village most of her life, aside from a period when she ran away from home, cut her short, and went to live on her own in the city. I suspect Matt Forney is correct that the Philippines is becoming more Americanized, although there's still a lot of difference between the two cultures and how women are encouraged by their families to act.

When my wife and I first met online, my life was in pretty bad shape, but as time went on I got reestablished in my career and started reading RoK a lot. Reading forum posts like this one makes me want to ascend to the next level by getting back into a workout routine. My wife said shortly after she got to the U.S. that I should get bigger muscles, but then when I said I was going to start working out, she backpedaled and said she didn't want it to take away from spending time with her. I took that at face value and figured, "Well, my job is about to go perm anyway, and then I'll have access to the company's fitness center, so it can't hurt to put off for a few weeks getting into a workout routine."

But at this point I feel like getting big and getting some testosterone in my body for my own benefit, and to increase the masculine/feminine polarity between us. It's the same reason I've been encouraging her to grow her hair longer, wear dresses instead of pants, etc. If she had her way, I'm pretty sure that she would want to just have a small family and get a job, so she could be freer to travel around the world and post the resulting pics to Facebook. At the same time, though, she's still an order of magnitude more accommodating and submissive than any American woman I've been with.

Well.... There is alot here to dissect. While I am glad you got a foreign wife that is not as awful as your exwife, you picked her way too fast without considering enough factors.

1. She is a pinay with short hair? That's fucking rare. Dagnasty and I actually like those but I never saw any from there like that and was worth keeping or dating seriously. (not any hot ones on my part at least) Unfortunately, short hair on a pinay is a red flag unlike a Chinese or Japanese woman. What that would tell me is that she is probably about 85%-90% submissive and feminine at best.

2. Sounds like a rough and tumble tomboy with a independent streak. She ran away from home while not a screaming red flag, meant that you should have dug alot deeper into that dynamic and the whys involved. Unfortunately Asian women that like foreigners tend to be rebels. My wife can be but her dad scares the shit out of her and she only goes so far with him. I observed that while we were dating and took note as a strong green flag.

3. I see posters saying you guys have sex 1-2 times everyday (although I cannot find that part). That's quite a bit buddy. My wife and I were like that until the kids started coming. Makes it pretty hard to maintain a regimen like that. We make up for it when we get a chance, but 1 time a day is good enough for me. Do you ejaculate fast? Do you take a long time to bust even? Are you rough? What is her physical shape like? Did you not bother to analyze her sex drive before marrying? My wife has a higher one than me, so I knew I would be the one saying no I am too tired more than her. What is your age gap?

I cannot recommend MMSL stuff, although lots of guys swear by it, but I believe in doing it right on picking first and maintaining solid game from day one. You did not know your wife well enough before marrying. I honestly do not think a special game technique for getting 3-4 bangs out of the wife, even if it worked for a little while will work for many years to come.

Also, you are letting your fetish own and control you. NEVER let the fetish control your life. I have two bad ones myself and I am not shy to discuss it on the forum and I have talked about it before. Yeah I like women with short hair, but my wife always asks me how short or long I want it before she goes to the salon. I pick out all her clothes. I veto anything she wants to do if I see fit. I get 100% submission out of her and more importantly she asks first. When it comes to sex, while we were dating I asked her if she would ever try to take pussy away from me. She said, "Why would I ever try to take something away from you, that belongs to you in the first place?". That is what kind of submission you need from a wife.

I think the sex issue is the least of your issues. Deal with the submission first and go easy on her with the insatiable appetite. If her parts hurt too much to go at it that much she could at least give you some head in between.

Also sounds like you two are bored and typical couple with no kids. If you had kids, you would not be giving her shit like this. Find some productive things to get rid of excess energy. You would be surprised what we can get done as men if we were not chasing pussy every 5 mins.

Dating Guide for Mainland China Datasheet
TravelerKai's Martial Arts Datasheet
1 John 4:20 - If anyone says, I love God, and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, Whom he has not seen.
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#54

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-04-2016 04:03 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

If you really want to make your wife crazy when she turns you down do this.

You: "wife, lets bang"
Wife: "no"
You: "You must be tired after a long day..."

She will think "oh you're so considerate"...really ham it up. Offer to get her a blanked on the couch, put her feet up etc. After she is all comfortable like a human sloth, go upstairs, jump in the shower, get some nice clothes on and come back downstairs with car keys audibly jingling.

Wife: "Where are you going?! its 10 oclock at night"
You: "Going out for a drink, is that a problem?"...while pretending to read important messages on your phone

At this point she will freak the fuck out. You must go somewhere to have at least 1 beer despite her protests. You have established that you are willing to go out with a loaded set of balls is she isn't willing to take care of things. Don't actually be an idiot and cheat on her but feel free to flirt, add girls to facebook or at least get selfies with pretty ones.

If she does not freak out, or even rushes you out the door...well you're fucked and you should probably have someone watch your place after you leave to see if she leaves the house or some strange guy comes over.

This is called, mutual destruction game, and can backfire like the cold war. If she is not invested in the marriage, moves like this will hasten its end.

I've always liked this tactic. I have used it while dating women, but I told my wife before we got married if she ever left me hanging, I would always find someone to take care of it. I basically gave the threat before it ever could happen. I found better ways to make the point with Asian women once I stopped dating American women.

The only part I would change is the going out for a drink part. I would just say I am going out and leave without another word. If you go asshole game, do it right. I would even consider leaving without a word. I don't want to give the impression that I am being a passive aggressive little bitch to the chick by having a back and forth about where I am going and what I will be doing as if I need her fucking permission in the first place.

I will say that, if anyone bothers doing stuff like this, it has to be believable and not look like a childish pout. I cannot stress that enough.

Your game has to be strong enough to them that they know that you know where, how, and quickly where puss can be found. And you are spot on too that a tactic like this should let you know very quickly how invested a woman is in the relationship.

Dating Guide for Mainland China Datasheet
TravelerKai's Martial Arts Datasheet
1 John 4:20 - If anyone says, I love God, and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, Whom he has not seen.
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#55

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

The reason so many men end up in unhappy LTR's is the same reason so many men end up in lousy jobs: they don't think through the consequences of their actions. I speak from experience on both.
To make a point, a number of years ago I decided to manage a small industrial supply company for a friend of a friend as I implicitly trusted both. I could see no downside to managing the company and tossed everything I had into the operation. We were all friends, right? Everything I'd ever done with them was awesome, right? Pesky little contract nuances, no problem! Why should I even consider this project if I didn't give it one hundred ten percent?
I lasted all of three months and screamed at people on my way out the door.
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#56

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-06-2016 08:13 AM)ColSpanker Wrote:  

The reason so many men end up in unhappy LTR's is the same reason so many men end up in lousy jobs: they don't think through the consequences of their actions.

*Comfortability and scarcity mentality.

Most men will stay in an unfulfilling relationship and an unfulfilling job because it's there and they have it. That steady comfortable trickle of money/sex keeps them on the hook in part because the idea of breaking their comfort zone and looking for something better is too intimidating.

As if there are no other jobs out there, or other women, that would be better.
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#57

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-06-2016 08:13 AM)ColSpanker Wrote:  

The reason so many men end up in unhappy LTR's is the same reason so many men end up in lousy jobs: they don't think through the consequences of their actions. I speak from experience on both.
To make a point, a number of years ago I decided to manage a small industrial supply company for a friend of a friend as I implicitly trusted both. I could see no downside to managing the company and tossed everything I had into the operation. We were all friends, right? Everything I'd ever done with them was awesome, right? Pesky little contract nuances, no problem! Why should I even consider this project if I didn't give it one hundred ten percent?
I lasted all of three months and screamed at people on my way out the door.

I had a similar experience. Took my "dream job" in Canada after working and studying for several years in China. By all appearances, it was the perfect opportunity to pivot from teaching in Asia to building a career in my home country starting with a job that would draw heavily from my experience with Asian cultures and my ability to speak Chinese.

I didn't go out in a flame of glory, I kept it professional, but I was done after six months.

The thing was, that I'd previously built a small tutoring business just working part-time gigs in Tianjin and was pulling the equivalent $50K a year when I left. The job in Canada barely paid thirty and my boss was an asshole.

You can't treat a man with indignity when he knows that he has good options elsewhere.

I went back to school for nine months, finished up my degree and then moved to Beijing and got back to work.

I've never looked back.

But I know a ton of guys putting up with a lot more than I did, because they aren't willing to take some risks and work hard for something better.

I'm the King of Beijing!
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#58

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

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I'm really into the creature comforts of having a woman feed me and have sex with me at my whim; it gives me a feeling of comfort and luxury.

My impression is that this implies a beta disposition, not that you can't change it. From your description, I'm picturing a passive man who likes to be babied. The "comfort" and "luxury" words are key here. She isn't "feeding" you like a submissive female feeds her Lion, but how a mother feeds a son. Similarly, you have to try to break out of the passive, lazy sex pattern before its too late. Treating a long term partner like a cum bucket, that is like someone who you don't need to charm with attractiveness but instead someone whose pussy is there for free use, is a fast track to her losing all attractiveness to you. That free use "marriage pussy" should be a product of continued attraction. If you aren't a natural charmer, you better work at it continuously.

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I asked her (numerous times) to promise that she would have sex with me whenever I wanted.

mmm....this is a borderline move imo. She'll uphold her promise until she won't. By then she'll likely resent you for making her do something for so long that she wasn't into. While I agree that sex should not die in a marriage, it isn't exactly something that you can make a promise on without it backfiring.

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I told her it's been a big issue in past relationships with me, because I just seem to get bent out of shape more than most men when I get refused.

This is too much information to give the wife, imo. You told her that (1) other women refuse you (reducing your social value) and that (2) that you get upset at this (reducing your social value). You can't elicit sympathy as a reliable way to keep your sex life alive.

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I don't know how many guys share this fetish, but I have a strong desire to sexually own my wife, and to be able to take her whenever I want, as long as she's not physically ill.

Is she a natural submissive? Perhaps try proposing some dominant/submissive roleplay as a way to (1) put a spark into things and (2) give you an excuse to study, learn, and apply dominant behavior and language that may begin to carry outside of the bedroom once you get comfortable with it. Buy some books on being a Dom. Make sure she is truly good with this, and then move forward with no further consultation nor apology.

Quote:Quote:

Just to give you a little background, we're newly married. She's from the Philippines; I finally decided to go with a foreign woman after getting catastrophically frivorced by my borderline personality disordered, radical LGBTQ/feminist SJW blogging, American first wife.

Fuck, maybe I take it back. You might scare the shit out of her with that last suggestion, but at the same time you may want to watch the beta-boy stuff. If she comes from a masculine culture it may be a larger turn-off than normal. In truth, I know nothing of pinay women. The SJW bitches like to be dominated, though (while all the while they suffer delightful cognitive dissonance).

Quote:Quote:

She's more traditional than some girls I encountered from, say, Manila, although she's in her late 20s and had a couple major relationships that didn't work out before the two of us met. She's lived with her churchgoing family and the rest of her clan in a pretty traditional Filipino village most of her life,

Be a dominant male. The only worry in these situations is the complete withholding or over-regular rationing of sex. I don't think that will happen in this case. My advice is to stop freaking out and deal with being turned down occasionally. I'm as Dom oriented and traditionally minded as it comes, but I would caution you in this instance to recognize that she isn't a sex robot. She's more than likely an insecure, traditional woman living with a man from a strange culture and perhaps in a strange land. Give her some leeway. Put some ice on your fetish, and possibly see a therapist over your butt-hurt over being occasionally turned down. At this point, I'm thinking that you aren't actually turned down that much. If it becomes too much, ramp up the working out, provider skills, and other traditionally manly behaviors and habits. Definitely ice any beta-boy behavior.

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aside from a period when she ran away from home, cut her short, and went to live on her own in the city.

That's certainly a red flag, but you married her and now you have to make the best of it.

Quote:Quote:

My wife said shortly after she got to the U.S. that I should get bigger muscles, but then when I said I was going to start working out, she backpedaled and said she didn't want it to take away from spending time with her.

Do both, but most importantly charm her. Alphas are who they are because they are the most charming man in the environment. If you don't keep up the alpha, her wanting to spend time will decrease. If she's in the USA, she's giving up a lot to be here and so you have to make up for that cost.

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But at this point I feel like getting big and getting some testosterone in my body for my own benefit,

Why not start slow and do the work first? I doubt that she requires you to take test to get what she wants. In fact, that type of body may be alien to her culture. And what happens when you stop? You immediately shrink. I like the program at leangains. Try that. Go to the leangains Reddit for information. Stop looking for easy gains for less work. Get used to working hard for sustainable change.

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If she had her way, I'm pretty sure that she would want to just have a small family and get a job, so she could be freer to travel around the world and post the resulting pics to Facebook.

Yikes.

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At the same time, though, she's still an order of magnitude more accommodating and submissive than any American woman I've been with.

Okay, don't ruin it by either neglecting her feminine need for a dominant male or taking it for granted with an entitled fetish that presumes her to be your mother or merely a sex hole that doesn't need constant, effortless charm.

Remember that you have invited her into what is essentially a trance. Her entire time with you, from first meeting until now, is a trance. If you break the trance, she will either go cold or leave you. Keep the trance going. The trance only requires that she have a good time and be charmed by you. No fights, no demands. Only friendly (non-coercive) dominance and seduction.

This book will help you:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Superior-M...1591792576
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#59

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-03-2016 11:25 AM)RaymondKertezc Wrote:  

Oh, well what happened most recently was, I got drunk Friday night; she was sober and was getting annoyed at my drunken behavior, which probably didn't set up the greatest mood for sex; but I had sex with her anyway for a long time but had to give up because the alcohol kept me from coming. Then I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted sex again because I hadn't come (and therefore couldn't fall back to sleep), so she accommodated me, and then a couple hours later I wanted more sex because it was Saturday and I love having sex twice on Saturday mornings. Finally she drew the line, saying that her pussy was sore and her back hurt. And then I made an issue of it, perhaps more because I didn't like the way she was speaking to me than because of what she actually said.

Usually the rejections come in the form of her saying "just later, hon" (which is more of a deferral) or "you're done" (i.e. we just had sex and she needs a break).

I don't think I fear her straying. It's not a behavior that Filipinas are known for. I worry more that she may someday break a promise, by cutting her hair short, or not having as many kids as I want, or whatever, because she's always telling me that she wants to do those things. With regard to seduction, usually we talk about that in terms of kissing and other stuff that gets her turned on.

I just have a fetish (dating back to the sexual starvation of my teenage years) of wanting a chick who will be a sex slave. It's one of my must-haves. I think of it as being like if anal sex were a must-have for a guy (i.e. something he needed in order to be happy); he would need to make that clear during the courtship and find a chick who's down with it. Then he would need to take care of himself and the relationship to the point that she would remain attracted to him.

You're right, my wife is pretty cool. We just took a shower and had sex again and now we're going to church.. I'm going to not get so drunk in the future, so I don't annoy her like that again..

I feel slightly ridiculous at this point. When I get angry, sometimes I lose perspective and have trouble being objective, but typing out a thread and getting responses helped me think more clearly about the situation. Thanks guys.

You should see a therapist (just you) in order to give yourself and your wife a chance at a long-term functional marriage.
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#60

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote:Quote:

I want her to be my 24/7 sex slave.

It seems to me you want something you haven't earned.

You think that by marrying someone you think you are entitled to everything you want. True, you are but you are making it difficult for yourself in order to truly get what you want with little effort or blow back. You are attached to some insecurities in your past that make you think that by her being something you want that it is going to make you feel more secure in your relationship. It might make you feel secure, but she will eventually resent you for it.

I think some introspection needs to be done on your part on where these insecurities come from and address them. You are filling the void with a lot of sex which quite frankly the frequency in which your wife is fuckin you, she is a champ.

I'm with Suits in the fact i have NEVER had to ask for sex. I have 5 plates at the moment that submit to me completely in the bedroom and never refuse my advances. Because i have laid the ground work as a dominate male who takes charge and is never attached to the outcome being ultimately in the end SEX.

Sure they know i want to fuck but it is always implied never obvious. Unfortunately you have reveled to her your Achilles heal which she can now exploit.

Not all sex slaves a built the same. They are like building furniture, some you can start off with the raw materials, some are like IKEA furniture and all you really need is an allen key. You need to manifest an environment of sexual dominance through your actions both toward her and actions relating to your own self development. Women can feel that dominant vibe and cant help but be drawn to it and want to be taken constantly by men who extrude that energy. So go lift, work on your own things to manifest that type of vibe.

Once you get to that point she will be like putty in your hand. She will feel far more sexual on a frequent basis and will submit to all types of requests.
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#61

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

This was an interesting thread until I saw you post that your wife is banging you twice a day on average! LOL Most men that are complaining like you are lucky to get sex once every week or two, so consider yourself lucky. Me and my wife banged like minks for the first two years, and she never rejected me.

Even after the kids came along, she wouldn't let me leave the house without milking me down if she thought I was horny. But, like most women, let them age a bit and get busy with multiple kids and suddenly it goes to once a week, then once every two weeks and even once a month if you are lucky. What happened with me is that I got so tired of rejection that I honestly stopped trying and did not GAF any longer!

So, that just made it worse and we wouldn't have sex until she came to me, because I just didn't want to deal with it any longer. I learned that if I occasionally rejected her, she would go nuts and accuse me of everything in the book, yet she thought nothing of rejecting me continuously.

Anyway, nothing personal in me saying this, but the problem is definitely with you. Anyone getting sex twice a day and not having enough has some other issue that needs to be dealt with. Maybe you are just over sexed, but something is not right if you can't be satisfied with twice a day? I would give anything for twice a week again, and that's gonna happen soon, because I'm leaving my wife for the lack of sex, which has grown into other problems, mostly my resentment of her for the rejection. Its gotten so bad I just want out now!

Take my advice, if you want a strong healthy sex life, don't get married, because even the women that love sex now will change over time. I hear this from every man I know too, so it's not some rare issue in my marriage only. Once women hit their mid 40s with kids and life stresses, they start to lose interest in sex. I'm sure how strong their desire is varies from woman to woman, but suffice it to say, it won't be enough for you no matter what her drive, because men will almost always want it more than women later in life. I still feel like I'm 25, she acts like shes 85!

I've just poured my energy into me, doing things I want to do that I might not have previously because of her. I also started flirting with every attractive chic I see, no matter her age, and it has made me feel better about myself after all of the rejection. My wife now wants to give me sex more than ever too, because she knows I want out and that I don't care any longer. The only problem is that she waited too late to respond and I see by my actions on the street that I have other options. Yes, even much younger girls act like they want to fuck me. I may be an older model now, but I find that even much younger women respond and flirt back and some even take the bait.

While you have no bitch about your sex life my friend, others here probably do. To those men, I offer this important advice!!! Don't let your wife get away with it like I did. Learn from my mistakes. Cut that shit early and do not allow it, or get the heck out of that marriage as fast as you can, because it only gets worse with time. Mine is going to get half of my assets and half of my entire lifes work when I leave, but for me, the price will be worth it in the end. All the money in the world is useless if you don't have happiness!
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#62

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

The more elusive partner always holds the power. Women know men crave sex and use our own libidos against us. They may want sex too but as long as they appear to want it less often than we do, they're in control of the "supply". Since our "demand" will always be there, they're not afraid of turning us down. It's just sexual economics.

If a woman refuses sex every once in a while, that's one thing. If it becomes habitual, that's quite another. In the latter case, I think it's only prudent to let her go. Likely, she's getting what she wants from you in the relationship or else she'd have already left...so why should you tolerate not getting the primary thing a woman brings to the table in a relationship from her?

Bottom line: it shouldn't be a magic trick to get sex from your own girlfriend. If she doesn't want to bang you, there's plenty other women out there who will and probably expect far less in return than the price your current lover places on her poosy.

I think a good rule of thumb is keep her guessing about when you'll want it. If you fall into a routine of asking for/expecting it every day, it makes it easy for her to turn down because she knows in less than twenty-four hours you'll likely ask again. If you vary the times you attempt to initiate sex and make yourself less predictable you're doing a few things:

One, you're in essence running a sort of passive dread game by making her wonder why you aren't asking for it all the time. Are you seeing other women? Are you jerking off because she's not enough to satisfy you? Either way, she'll likely want to give you more action if for no other reason than to decrease the likelihood you'll go elsewhere to look for it.

Two, you're making economics work in your favor. A supply is only worth as much as the demand. If you withold some of your demand, she'll have to lower the price for her supply. Don't take this to the extreme by rarely if ever banging your girl, or she'll feel "neglected" and likely end up in bed with someone else. However, you shouldn't be afraid of losing her anyway or paradoxically you'll be acting in ways likely to make her want to leave. But a dash of unpredictability here and there will go a long way.
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#63

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-08-2016 12:40 PM)jimmysax54 Wrote:  

This was an interesting thread until I saw you post that your wife is banging you twice a day on average! LOL Most men that are complaining like you are lucky to get sex once every week or two, so consider yourself lucky. Me and my wife banged like minks for the first two years, and she never rejected me.

Even after the kids came along, she wouldn't let me leave the house without milking me down if she thought I was horny. But, like most women, let them age a bit and get busy with multiple kids and suddenly it goes to once a week, then once every two weeks and even once a month if you are lucky. What happened with me is that I got so tired of rejection that I honestly stopped trying and did not GAF any longer!

So, that just made it worse and we wouldn't have sex until she came to me, because I just didn't want to deal with it any longer. I learned that if I occasionally rejected her, she would go nuts and accuse me of everything in the book, yet she thought nothing of rejecting me continuously.

Anyway, nothing personal in me saying this, but the problem is definitely with you. Anyone getting sex twice a day and not having enough has some other issue that needs to be dealt with. Maybe you are just over sexed, but something is not right if you can't be satisfied with twice a day? I would give anything for twice a week again, and that's gonna happen soon, because I'm leaving my wife for the lack of sex, which has grown into other problems, mostly my resentment of her for the rejection. Its gotten so bad I just want out now!

Take my advice, if you want a strong healthy sex life, don't get married, because even the women that love sex now will change over time. I hear this from every man I know too, so it's not some rare issue in my marriage only. Once women hit their mid 40s with kids and life stresses, they start to lose interest in sex. I'm sure how strong their desire is varies from woman to woman, but suffice it to say, it won't be enough for you no matter what her drive, because men will almost always want it more than women later in life. I still feel like I'm 25, she acts like shes 85!

I've just poured my energy into me, doing things I want to do that I might not have previously because of her. I also started flirting with every attractive chic I see, no matter her age, and it has made me feel better about myself after all of the rejection. My wife now wants to give me sex more than ever too, because she knows I want out and that I don't care any longer. The only problem is that she waited too late to respond and I see by my actions on the street that I have other options. Yes, even much younger girls act like they want to fuck me. I may be an older model now, but I find that even much younger women respond and flirt back and some even take the bait.

While you have no bitch about your sex life my friend, others here probably do. To those men, I offer this important advice!!! Don't let your wife get away with it like I did. Learn from my mistakes. Cut that shit early and do not allow it, or get the heck out of that marriage as fast as you can, because it only gets worse with time. Mine is going to get half of my assets and half of my entire lifes work when I leave, but for me, the price will be worth it in the end. All the money in the world is useless if you don't have happiness!
Hell Jimmy I can relate to this 100% well put.
Was in your boat, but got out a few years ago. Lost half plus maintaince etc. which is a shocker. Only stayed on for the children but in the end just had to get out.The sex rejection was just soul destroying.

Now doing it a bit hard money wise but haven't been this happy in years. Very late to this red pill stuff, I understand it now it doesn't mean being an arsehole, but I don't take shit and tolerate women's games any more and nip any such shit in the bud.
My advice to you is get out, whenever you do it life is going to be hard for a while so get it over and done with.
As for the poster I think he needs to learn how to control himself, it sounds a bit like an addiction and a weakness to me. I love pussy but don't need it every day and won't be grovelling ever again.
I've an Asian partner now, the difference is amazing, still the odd game but I just brush it off. She has a totally different attitude to sex and stuff in general to the typical Western woman. She is quite well off and self made but still respects men and lets me be one.
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#64

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-03-2016 06:52 AM)emuelle1 Wrote:  

A sexless marriage is defined as having sex less than 10 times a year..

10 times a year? I would have a big problem if I was having sex with my wife less than ten times a month! I would address the problem. Then take time to fix the issue. If it could not be fixed we would have to part ways!

Stay frosty, not thirsty my friends.

Quid Pro Quo is not only the basis for Capitalism but also for this forum.
I will respond to PMs only from those who have made contributions to this forum.

Aug 2016 Berlin Datasheet-Wonders, Blunders and Stunners - A short black dudes 9 day adventure in Berlin.
thread-58358...ght=Berlin
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#65

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

When you tell your wife ''promise me that you will never reject me sex'', you are already coming in from a weak position. True alphas don't even say that, that is a needy approach and in the long run it always backfires.

I will be very surprised if OP relationship will last 10 years at the very least.
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#66

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-03-2016 05:51 AM)Suits Wrote:  

How often are you having sex?

Does she suck your dick during blowjob week each month?
I sex to her once a day, a week Calculate I was seven times. I think that starting afraid [Image: sad.gif]
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#67

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

As a fellow married (and high sex drive) male, what I told my wife was, "Look, you know my expectations about frequency. If you aren't going to meet them that's fine. I'm not going to whine, beg, threaten etc. But I'll get them met elsewhere." Since then (about 3 years ago) no problems. She gets a pass for actually sickness or period. Otherwise she stays available. And frankly, it's fixed other problems too and actually improved our relationship quite a bit.
Reply
#68

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (04-29-2016 11:08 AM)fellowhuntsman Wrote:  

As a fellow married (and high sex drive) male, what I told my wife was, "Look, you know my expectations about frequency. If you aren't going to meet them that's fine. I'm not going to whine, beg, threaten etc. But I'll get them met elsewhere." Since then (about 3 years ago) no problems. She gets a pass for actually sickness or period. Otherwise she stays available. And frankly, it's fixed other problems too and actually improved our relationship quite a bit.
I appreciate your ability, can you share more for me?
Reply
#69

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (05-15-2016 09:41 PM)mrland Wrote:  

Quote: (04-29-2016 11:08 AM)fellowhuntsman Wrote:  

As a fellow married (and high sex drive) male, what I told my wife was, "Look, you know my expectations about frequency. If you aren't going to meet them that's fine. I'm not going to whine, beg, threaten etc. But I'll get them met elsewhere." Since then (about 3 years ago) no problems. She gets a pass for actually sickness or period. Otherwise she stays available. And frankly, it's fixed other problems too and actually improved our relationship quite a bit.
I appreciate your ability, can you share more for me?
Sure. Anything particular that you'd like to know?
Reply
#70

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

If she's a working mom, bring in a hot 18yr babysitter. If she's a stay at home mom? Bring in a hot 18yr babysitter just to light her fire. Hold frame like a motherfucker.
Reply
#71

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote:Quote:

Sure. Anything particular that you'd like to know?

Did this result in any increased "paranoid" behavior from her? Such as checking phones, computer, talking to your friends?

Before pulling that move, I'd be worried that it would "incept" the idea of you cheating in her head.
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#72

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

As far as the OP goes he made a common, but unforgivable error: He married in order to have unlimited access to in-house pussy. It is common knowledge that milk rations only occur once one has purchased the cow, not before. If you wanted maximum sexual access you should have kept her in an endless state of engagement. Just the act of marrying a woman is the opposite of dread game, which is why even experienced players can have difficulty continuing this vital relationship technique throughout the duration of the marriage.

I have always felt that it is the players job to keep your woman in a state of sexual arousal or at the least your frame and dominance keeps her always willing to please you sexually or otherwise. Women love to fuck and many have just as strong if not stronger sexual desires than men. I have had many girlfriends with insatiable sex drives in both frequency and duration.

As other members have pointed out, the problem seems to stem from the OP's pedestalization of the sex act itself. He stated in his own words that the affirmation he gets from his sexual advances being positively received is more important psychologically and emotionally than the pleasure received from the act itself. This is very dangerous.

One should never have his self esteem or mental well-being dependent on the sexual whims of a woman, wife or not. His wife actually seems to be very accommodating at this point in their marriage, unfortunately this will not last, the temporal nature of this early stage of marriage is thusly referred to as "the honeymoon phase". In fact I believe that the OP has made several glaring, if not inexcusable, errors of judgement and or assumptions.

Major red flag (yours, not hers) is thinking that a girl won't cheat because of race, religion, cultural upbringing, etc. hypergamy is universal-its in their DNA. The one time (that you know of) when she left the reservation she turned her back on her family, her femininity, and her small town upbringing to undoubtedly ride the big-city, cock carousel anonymously. Both of you, while showing poor long-term judgement, have a history of engaging in dysfunctional LTR's. Her with dominant, controlling men (should tell you what she is attracted to) you with a psycho, controlling bitch who had no issues at all with using the legal system to clean up her messy, failing relationships.

Some of the things you say belie either a lack of experience or understanding of the opposite sex and relationship dynamics in general. When I hear a guy say that no woman ever has ever gotten him off during a BJ, I instantly think he either hasnt had many blowjobs or been with many women. When you give an excuse like "Must be because my dick is so huge the couldn't deepthroat me" I think you are probably both young and inexperienced. When you complain about not getting enough sex then state you are getting laid from your wife a minimum of once a day I think this is some kind of attempt at humble bragging.


All that being said my advice is this, there is nothing that dries up the pussy more than a man who pouts when he gets denied. You must do one of two things:
One: Act completely unfazed; go about your business. This will initially make her respect you more for not being a child and a pussy, and eventually, if done properly, it will intrigue her and make her question her own desirability this will cause her to need you to reassure her you still find her attractive-You do this by fucking her like a sexual Leviathan but with not a shred of emotion. Fuck her like you don't know her and aren't trying to. She will think you are no longer emotionally attached and she will realize she needs to work to keep you and keep you happily satisfied.

Two: The second approach is more suave and i am not sure if you could pull it off but it should be your first option. When your wife turns down any of you advances you just smile and agree while escalating your physical advances. The more she gets aroused in fake anger the more aroused she will be by the fact that your not listening to her and your going to fuck her anyway. You have to be smiling, joking and friendly the whole time or else it can go south with her thinking you are going to force yourself on her. Ultimately you are but with her consent. This time you can play it rough or be sensual or mix it up. Obviously play-rape scenarios would be in order as well. When you finish she should be thanking and complimenting you, not the other way around.

By plowing through her resistance she realizes that you are confident enough to believe you own her and she is yours to do with as you please. Women want men to be strong, forceful and decisive and her denying you sex is mostly a shit test, because real players dont accept that shit. Even though in your case it seems as if your wife isnt really denying you sex just frequency. Sounds like you get your balls drained daily. I think I might know what the problem(s) may be.

As I alluded to earlier it is a man's job in any LTR to guide and lead the sexual adventure. It will go through many stages and it is up to the man to keep the women open and receptive to whatever you might decide to want to do one day.
My experience with women is once you open sexual doors to them that were previously closed they are almost always willing to engage in sexual activity with you in the future. Your like a drug they got high off of once and when they get a chance to do some of you again they usually will.

To inspire that type of sexual devotion in a women takes a lot of effort but can be worth it. Might I suggest instead of going for more frequency of union with your wife; going for longer more high-quality sessions. Delaying ejaculation until women have multiple, often-squirting, full-body orgasms can inspire the type of sexual devotion as well as the desire you want your wife to have for you, in addition to a significant boost in self esteem which you sound like you could use. If you want your wife to be your sex slave you have to inspire her as her Master. A slave wont slave to a Master they dont respect or in the least fear.

You need to fix this problem because I have seen situations like this turn toxic. This is how sexless marriages start:"We used to have sex every day sometimes twice!" Her refusing advances and resentment towards you and you pouting and her pussy drying up is a negative-feedback cycle. It is a vicious cycle which will result in you getting divorce raped and her getting money, US citizenship, and ride on the carousel paid for by you.

You were the one who wanted to get married so you can have sex every day, by this time you should be really good at it. Make sure your wife stays in a state of sexual arousal towards you otherwise someone else will fill that role. Don't expect a legal document or a gold trinket to do the hard work for you. Marriages are hard work, that is why modern women are not good at it and need to be taught and led.

I will leave with this statement: Game cannot be applied in retrospect it must be applied in the present. Some mistakes made on the ground in the beginning of LTR's can never be fixed, some can. Its why Frame is so important. It is very difficult to inject new Frame in an ongoing relationship. If good Frame isn't established from the beginning minor improvements won't be successful. You have to next that relationship and start your next one with a more rock-solid Frame.

edit: This should probably be in the newbie section
Reply
#73

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (05-15-2016 09:41 PM)mrland Wrote:  

Quote: (04-29-2016 11:08 AM)fellowhuntsman Wrote:  

As a fellow married (and high sex drive) male, what I told my wife was, "Look, you know my expectations about frequency. If you aren't going to meet them that's fine. I'm not going to whine, beg, threaten etc. But I'll get them met elsewhere." Since then (about 3 years ago) no problems. She gets a pass for actually sickness or period. Otherwise she stays available. And frankly, it's fixed other problems too and actually improved our relationship quite a bit.
I appreciate your ability, can you share more for me?

Does she need a doctors note?

That's a joke, but I do have a question.

As a high sex drive guy, how have you been able to only bang the same woman for that three years?

Aloha!
Reply
#74

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (05-16-2016 08:38 AM)nmmoooreland20 Wrote:  

Quote:Quote:

Sure. Anything particular that you'd like to know?

Did this result in any increased "paranoid" behavior from her? Such as checking phones, computer, talking to your friends?

Before pulling that move, I'd be worried that it would "incept" the idea of you cheating in her head.

actually, it helped. See part of the original issue was that I traveled a lot and so she kind of wondered, without having any evidence, that I could be messing around on my trips. this caused her to be pouty, anxious, resentful, etc. at first I tried the whole transparency thing but that only seemed to heighten problems whenever I wasn't absolutely and painfully bland and predictable and pussy-whipped. total beta because I was scared of her anxiety etc. furthermore, she was more likely to make me work for sex with her by pleasing her in some way....

thankfully, I tried going the opposite and turning the tables. first, I had to believe that if the worst happened (a bloody divorce) that I could still make it in the end and would emerge stronger for it. second, I had to vow to myself that I was not going to live a pussy-whipped life with a wife that I was servile to. third, I just had to take charge and start doing things according to what I thought was right and she could either follow my lead or leave with 50% of the assets but at least I'd be my own man.

so, I basically laid down what I would do when I traveled and during normal business days and not give in to other needy or ball busting demands. I put a password on phone etc. she was either going to trust me or divorce me. that was the choice. that's when she kind of pouted and started attempting to withhold the good stuff. and my response was that I would just get it outside if she wasn't going to give it inside.

i'm not going to say that this is for all guys. it was a Rhett butler move and I wasn't confident that it would work. But maybe there's a bit of scarlett o'hara in every chick. the paranoia all stopped. she had to realize that if she was going to keep me it was by attraction rather than whining and nagging.

hell, if women feeling bad about themselves would start working out rather than using that energy checking up on their husbands, how many problems would it solve? a ton.

everything got way better. nothing taken for granted anymore on either side.

not saying this is for all guys. and I had some scary moments. sometimes, I thought, "oh shit, she's going to call my bluff..." until I realized, "i'm not bluffing. if this doesn't change i'm leaving."

right now, I travel as I need to for work. she's not paranoid. in fact, because she isn't paranoid I share more than I used to. and she still can't see my phone.
Reply
#75

How much sexual refusal should you tolerate from a wife?

Quote: (05-16-2016 12:51 PM)AboveAverageJoe Wrote:  

As far as the OP goes he made a common, but unforgivable error: He married in order to have unlimited access to in-house pussy. It is common knowledge that milk rations only occur once one has purchased the cow, not before. If you wanted maximum sexual access you should have kept her in an endless state of engagement. Just the act of marrying a woman is the opposite of dread game, which is why even experienced players can have difficulty continuing this vital relationship technique throughout the duration of the marriage.

I have always felt that it is the players job to keep your woman in a state of sexual arousal or at the least your frame and dominance keeps her always willing to please you sexually or otherwise. Women love to fuck and many have just as strong if not stronger sexual desires than men. I have had many girlfriends with insatiable sex drives in both frequency and duration.

As other members have pointed out, the problem seems to stem from the OP's pedestalization of the sex act itself. He stated in his own words that the affirmation he gets from his sexual advances being positively received is more important psychologically and emotionally than the pleasure received from the act itself. This is very dangerous.

One should never have his self esteem or mental well-being dependent on the sexual whims of a woman, wife or not. His wife actually seems to be very accommodating at this point in their marriage, unfortunately this will not last, the temporal nature of this early stage of marriage is thusly referred to as "the honeymoon phase". In fact I believe that the OP has made several glaring, if not inexcusable, errors of judgement and or assumptions.

Major red flag (yours, not hers) is thinking that a girl won't cheat because of race, religion, cultural upbringing, etc. hypergamy is universal-its in their DNA. The one time (that you know of) when she left the reservation she turned her back on her family, her femininity, and her small town upbringing to undoubtedly ride the big-city, cock carousel anonymously. Both of you, while showing poor long-term judgement, have a history of engaging in dysfunctional LTR's. Her with dominant, controlling men (should tell you what she is attracted to) you with a psycho, controlling bitch who had no issues at all with using the legal system to clean up her messy, failing relationships.

Some of the things you say belie either a lack of experience or understanding of the opposite sex and relationship dynamics in general. When I hear a guy say that no woman ever has ever gotten him off during a BJ, I instantly think he either hasnt had many blowjobs or been with many women. When you give an excuse like "Must be because my dick is so huge the couldn't deepthroat me" I think you are probably both young and inexperienced. When you complain about not getting enough sex then state you are getting laid from your wife a minimum of once a day I think this is some kind of attempt at humble bragging.


All that being said my advice is this, there is nothing that dries up the pussy more than a man who pouts when he gets denied. You must do one of two things:
One: Act completely unfazed; go about your business. This will initially make her respect you more for not being a child and a pussy, and eventually, if done properly, it will intrigue her and make her question her own desirability this will cause her to need you to reassure her you still find her attractive-You do this by fucking her like a sexual Leviathan but with not a shred of emotion. Fuck her like you don't know her and aren't trying to. She will think you are no longer emotionally attached and she will realize she needs to work to keep you and keep you happily satisfied.

Two: The second approach is more suave and i am not sure if you could pull it off but it should be your first option. When your wife turns down any of you advances you just smile and agree while escalating your physical advances. The more she gets aroused in fake anger the more aroused she will be by the fact that your not listening to her and your going to fuck her anyway. You have to be smiling, joking and friendly the whole time or else it can go south with her thinking you are going to force yourself on her. Ultimately you are but with her consent. This time you can play it rough or be sensual or mix it up. Obviously play-rape scenarios would be in order as well. When you finish she should be thanking and complimenting you, not the other way around.

By plowing through her resistance she realizes that you are confident enough to believe you own her and she is yours to do with as you please. Women want men to be strong, forceful and decisive and her denying you sex is mostly a shit test, because real players dont accept that shit. Even though in your case it seems as if your wife isnt really denying you sex just frequency. Sounds like you get your balls drained daily. I think I might know what the problem(s) may be.

As I alluded to earlier it is a man's job in any LTR to guide and lead the sexual adventure. It will go through many stages and it is up to the man to keep the women open and receptive to whatever you might decide to want to do one day.
My experience with women is once you open sexual doors to them that were previously closed they are almost always willing to engage in sexual activity with you in the future. Your like a drug they got high off of once and when they get a chance to do some of you again they usually will.

To inspire that type of sexual devotion in a women takes a lot of effort but can be worth it. Might I suggest instead of going for more frequency of union with your wife; going for longer more high-quality sessions. Delaying ejaculation until women have multiple, often-squirting, full-body orgasms can inspire the type of sexual devotion as well as the desire you want your wife to have for you, in addition to a significant boost in self esteem which you sound like you could use. If you want your wife to be your sex slave you have to inspire her as her Master. A slave wont slave to a Master they dont respect or in the least fear.

You need to fix this problem because I have seen situations like this turn toxic. This is how sexless marriages start:"We used to have sex every day sometimes twice!" Her refusing advances and resentment towards you and you pouting and her pussy drying up is a negative-feedback cycle. It is a vicious cycle which will result in you getting divorce raped and her getting money, US citizenship, and ride on the carousel paid for by you.

You were the one who wanted to get married so you can have sex every day, by this time you should be really good at it. Make sure your wife stays in a state of sexual arousal towards you otherwise someone else will fill that role. Don't expect a legal document or a gold trinket to do the hard work for you. Marriages are hard work, that is why modern women are not good at it and need to be taught and led.

I will leave with this statement: Game cannot be applied in retrospect it must be applied in the present. Some mistakes made on the ground in the beginning of LTR's can never be fixed, some can. Its why Frame is so important. It is very difficult to inject new Frame in an ongoing relationship. If good Frame isn't established from the beginning minor improvements won't be successful. You have to next that relationship and start your next one with a more rock-solid Frame.

edit: This should probably be in the newbie section

wholeheartedly, agree with this post and this was borne out in my experience. when she knew I was no longer scared of the "ultimate" punishment whether divorce or denial of pussy, then she knew she had to try and keep me happy enough to keep me because as long as I stayed fit, etc., I had many many more options as a man heading into my 30s than a chick heading into her 30s. her efforts to workout and be available just skyrocketed.

this is going to sound trite, but women love wearing the crown but hate being queen if their husband actually bows. they want to be moms for their kids, sluts to their husbands, sisters to their girlfriends, and queen to everyone else.
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