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Im focusing too much on girls.
#1

Im focusing too much on girls.

One thing I have always heard around these parts is that always make your goals ahead of women, also while women and sex are enjoyable and important you always come first.

I notice I do some things because "hey I can get more girls", I wanna work out because its healthy but I want to look good for girls, Lets go out to a club/bar...for girls. I am always thinking about fucking and getting girls, I am 26 now and I feel like I should be focusing more on my career, working on myself.

I notice some of my friends are like this as well, everything revolves around getting girls, some of them seem to have nothing else going on, all their focus is on going out and picking up.

At what point are you thinking too much about girls?

Im thinking about taking the rest of this year to focus only on myself, Im not gonna think about getting girls or any of that, I want to work out, get bigger, stronger, work on myself for a while, focus on my ambitions, obviously if an opportunity comes with a girl I'll take it but I feel like im focusing too much on these chicks.
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#2

Im focusing too much on girls.

Quote: (03-29-2016 10:45 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

One thing I have always heard around these parts is that always make your goals ahead of women, also while women and sex are enjoyable and important you always come first.

I notice I do some things because "hey I can get more girls", I wanna work out because its healthy but I want to look good for girls, Lets go out to a club/bar...for girls. I am always thinking about fucking and getting girls, I am 26 now and I feel like I should be focusing more on my career, working on myself.

I notice some of my friends are like this as well, everything revolves around getting girls, some of them seem to have nothing else going on, all their focus is on going out and picking up.

At what point are you thinking too much about girls?

Im thinking about taking the rest of this year to focus only on myself, Im not gonna think about getting girls or any of that, I want to work out, get bigger, stronger, work on myself for a while, focus on my ambitions, obviously if an opportunity comes with a girl I'll take it but I feel like im focusing too much on these chicks.

If you want your genes to survive, you need to reproduce and this involves... yes, you guessed right, getting some ass...

Directly or indirectly, most men's activities revolve around getting some ass...

Unless you are a healthy, normal, heterosexual male, you won't escape from the paradigm of getting some ass...

In other words, you won't beat up million years of evolution...

...which makes you hard-wired to want to get some ass.

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#3

Im focusing too much on girls.

You might as well ask "what is the meaning of life".

If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.

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#4

Im focusing too much on girls.

Meh, I get the sentiment, but I just accept it. There isn't a single thing that approaches the joy and pleasure and overall sense of internal peace I can get from women. I love women. I'm always just going to be focused on getting women. That's just me, and I accept it about myself.

I just try to take a longer term view of things. You can't be successful in the gym if you're constantly thinking "this curl will get the girl". You can't be constantly thinking "this hour of work on this project is going to get me closer to getting rich which will help me get more girls". You just use it to mold your habits. Sometimes I'll get distracted in the middle of it by thoughts of girls. However I can just ask "is what I'm doing now consistent with getting those girls in the future?". The answer is then "yes", and focus comes back. It's all just time-preference stuff, "a dollar now versus 2 dollars next year" etc.
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#5

Im focusing too much on girls.

1 approach a day.

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Quote: (05-19-2016 12:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  
If I talk to 100 19 year old girls, at least one of them is getting fucked!
Quote:WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Am I reacting to her? No pussy, all problems
Or
Is she reacting to me? All pussy, no problems
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#6

Im focusing too much on girls.

Quote: (03-29-2016 10:45 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

At what point are you thinking too much about girls?

It gets out of hand when you become like your friends.. when everything revolves around getting girls, when you got nothing else going on, and all your focus is on going out and picking up.

I don't understand that "taking a break" thing. Game is not an intense language course that you have attend 3 times a week. You can talk to girls totally irregularly as you go about your life. There's nothing to take a rest from really.
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#7

Im focusing too much on girls.

At my age I look back and what makes me the most proud is all the trim I've turned out. My biggest regrets are the ones I turned down or screwed up somehow.
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#8

Im focusing too much on girls.

Good points guys, Im just overthinking it, I just catch myself thinking sometimes and I say "I think about pussy.....a lot...." but that is what young guys do.

I think too much when I smoke...
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#9

Im focusing too much on girls.

I'v written about this before.

It's important to understand that girls will always be there. Improve yourself, get your life together how you want it, and know that young sexy girls aren't going anywhere.

Thousands of girls turn 18 every day. You aren't missing out.

Don't let pussy become such a distraction that you get diminishing returns and let other aspects of your life go unchecked.
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#10

Im focusing too much on girls.

I'm struggling HEAVILY with this in my life. I always let my failures and fears dealing with women completely crush my mood and overpower my focuses in life.

I remember reading a post XXL made not to long ago in another thread. It was about how some people just focus on approaching when they need to work on themselves more than anything. Reading what he wrote immediately helped me realize I was one of those people because when I take a step back and look at my life, I see that I haven't really worked on anything else. In addition, I also see that I put way way way to much of my personal worth into women.
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#11

Im focusing too much on girls.

Thats why I puzzle at theses 100 approach threads. I can't be assed to approach married/disinterested chicks and waste time and energy.

A few emails online is all I can be bothered with to get a chick.
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#12

Im focusing too much on girls.

Quote: (03-29-2016 10:45 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

One thing I have always heard around these parts is that always make your goals ahead of women, also while women and sex are enjoyable and important you always come first.

I notice I do some things because "hey I can get more girls", I wanna work out because its healthy but I want to look good for girls, Lets go out to a club/bar...for girls. I am always thinking about fucking and getting girls, I am 26 now and I feel like I should be focusing more on my career, working on myself.

I notice some of my friends are like this as well, everything revolves around getting girls, some of them seem to have nothing else going on, all their focus is on going out and picking up.

At what point are you thinking too much about girls?

Im thinking about taking the rest of this year to focus only on myself, Im not gonna think about getting girls or any of that, I want to work out, get bigger, stronger, work on myself for a while, focus on my ambitions, obviously if an opportunity comes with a girl I'll take it but I feel like im focusing too much on these chicks.

OP, I am going to go against the advice of "focus on yourself before girls" based on my own experiences.

To me, it sounds like you have a nagging desire to get this area of your life handled (picking up chicks) and that you won't be satisfied until you do. Ignoring that will just lead to dissatisfaction. You don't need to be well-rounded or focus on your "ambitions" to pick up girls. Just go to any bar or nightclub and you can spot a variety of scumbag-looking types picking up chicks vs. crazy PUA who runs a location-independent business, is fucking jacked, and speaks 10 languages fluently with his eyes closed.

I, too, noticed that most of what I was doing in life revolved around getting girls in one way or another.
- More direct examples would be: not focusing on school and going out close to seven nights a week to work on my "pickup skills," trying to get ripped so more girls would like me
- More indirect examples would be: trying to become "location-independent" or earn "passive income" even though those are not things I'm truly passionate about (in the end, it was all just to chase more girls, but I thought, how long would I want to live that life of traveling and trying to bang some random sloots?)

It wasn't until I got to a point of real "abundance" or in concrete terms, knowing I can go out one night and have a good chance (say 33 or 50%) of getting laid >that night< that I started to realize that eventually I wanted to build something and do something more substantial with my life than endlessly hit on girls from nightlife for the prospect of a random hookup. Don't get me wrong - I still love the chase; it just isn't the defining goal of my life anymore.

It's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs - I'm only vaguely familiar with it, but I'm pretty sure it's like, you gotta get your food, shelter, sex (basic needs) handled before you move on to things like "self-actualization" or what you really want to do with your life (maybe that's just chasing girls, everyone's different).

You sound like you feel guilty (at 26) for wanting to chase girls... but personally, I think if you don't get it handled, you will forever feel regret. Goodlookingloser made a good post about this, but I'm not gonna post as I'm pretty sure that's against the rules (PM me and I will try to dig it up). Others may feel differently, but I think it makes more sense to chase girls and have fun in your 20s than it does in your 30s. I don't think I would ever have felt remotely as clearheaded and in tune with my goals and personality if I didn't spend the last 4-5 years trying to figure out how to get my dick wet.

Good luck!

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#13

Im focusing too much on girls.

Nobody is perfect, and therefore many an imperfect man has had success with cute girls.

If you have something REALLY wrong with your life that would make girls immediately run the other direction; e.g. you're unemployed, you're in horrendous shape, you have crippling social anxiety; then by all means, take some time off to get your shit together.

But if you want to wait until you get rich and have a baller lifestyle, look like a bodybuilder, and/or internalize every possible game resource out there, then you're making a mistake. It's easy to go from being awful at something to being decent at it, but to go from decent to elite takes extreme commitment. You will never get there in every aspect of your life. If you're at least competent in everything that you deem important, then pussy SHOULD be one of your main focuses.
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