Quote: (03-29-2016 10:45 AM)TheDuncan Wrote:
One thing I have always heard around these parts is that always make your goals ahead of women, also while women and sex are enjoyable and important you always come first.
I notice I do some things because "hey I can get more girls", I wanna work out because its healthy but I want to look good for girls, Lets go out to a club/bar...for girls. I am always thinking about fucking and getting girls, I am 26 now and I feel like I should be focusing more on my career, working on myself.
I notice some of my friends are like this as well, everything revolves around getting girls, some of them seem to have nothing else going on, all their focus is on going out and picking up.
At what point are you thinking too much about girls?
Im thinking about taking the rest of this year to focus only on myself, Im not gonna think about getting girls or any of that, I want to work out, get bigger, stronger, work on myself for a while, focus on my ambitions, obviously if an opportunity comes with a girl I'll take it but I feel like im focusing too much on these chicks.
OP, I am going to go against the advice of "focus on yourself before girls" based on my own experiences.
To me, it sounds like you have a nagging desire to get this area of your life handled (picking up chicks) and that you won't be satisfied until you do. Ignoring that will just lead to dissatisfaction. You don't need to be well-rounded or focus on your "ambitions" to pick up girls. Just go to any bar or nightclub and you can spot a variety of scumbag-looking types picking up chicks vs. crazy PUA who runs a location-independent business, is fucking jacked, and speaks 10 languages fluently with his eyes closed.
I, too, noticed that most of what I was doing in life revolved around getting girls in one way or another.
- More direct examples would be: not focusing on school and going out close to seven nights a week to work on my "pickup skills," trying to get ripped so more girls would like me
- More indirect examples would be: trying to become "location-independent" or earn "passive income" even though those are not things I'm truly passionate about (in the end, it was all just to chase more girls, but I thought, how long would I want to live that life of traveling and trying to bang some random sloots?)
It wasn't until I got to a point of real "abundance" or in concrete terms, knowing I can go out one night and have a good chance (say 33 or 50%) of getting laid >that night< that I started to realize that eventually I wanted to build something and do something more substantial with my life than endlessly hit on girls from nightlife for the prospect of a random hookup. Don't get me wrong - I still love the chase; it just isn't the defining goal of my life anymore.
It's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs - I'm only vaguely familiar with it, but I'm pretty sure it's like, you gotta get your food, shelter, sex (basic needs) handled before you move on to things like "self-actualization" or what you really want to do with your life (maybe that's just chasing girls, everyone's different).
You sound like you feel guilty (at 26) for wanting to chase girls... but personally, I think if you don't get it handled, you will forever feel regret. Goodlookingloser made a good post about this, but I'm not gonna post as I'm pretty sure that's against the rules (PM me and I will try to dig it up). Others may feel differently, but I think it makes more sense to chase girls and have fun in your 20s than it does in your 30s. I don't think I would ever have felt remotely as clearheaded and in tune with my goals and personality if I didn't spend the last 4-5 years trying to figure out how to get my dick wet.
Good luck!
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Men’s Style Guide: For Guys Who Want to Get Laid
You aren't getting laid because you still believe in "game".
Here's how I went from being a 21-year-old, videogame-addicted, Asian virgin to banging too many girls to count (no PUA bs):
https://whiteknightrises.com/start-here
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