Quote: (04-03-2016 03:00 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:
It doesn't, but anything is better than sitting around and staring. Use it as a springboard for making actual approaches!
Exactly. To clarify for the OP's benefit, there's nothing inherently wrong with what you're doing, in fact it's quite good if you have little experience engaging with women in a friendly, confident manner. You just shouldn't have unreasonable expectations that interactions of that sort are going to lead anywhere particular.
I'm a fairly extroverted guy, and shopgirls/bartenders love to shoot the shit with me. They're stuck behind a counter/bar for seven hours, and it seems like a guy who can spit some game at them is mana from heaven after dealing with hordes of chodey, abrasive customers day in and day out.
The coffee shop I go to is mostly staffed by young college girls, and they all know me by name, and sometimes seek me out on their breaks to chat with because I have interesting things to talk about, am friendly and relaxed, and I just treat them with the same respect I treat everyone else. I don't try to close with any of them (even though I'd gladly bang just about all of them) because I like to work there, and don't shit where you eat and all that.
But I don't feel like these interactions are a waste of time at all, even if at the end of the day they're not really interested and there's no opportunity to ask the "buying question." They're getting entertainment, and while they may not realize it, I'm staying in practice and trying out "new material" on them that I might use when I'm BSing with a girl I actually have a shot with. It's a win-win.
The best way to bang attractive young women is to become completely comfortable engaging and talking with attractive young women.
Quote: (03-27-2016 12:49 PM)XXL Wrote:
Some will tell you that a real approach is only when you go after a girl from the get go, others will tell you something different. Who cares. Just focus on what you do and worry about overall direction of your actions, ignore pointless details and you're good.
Correct. Trying to bin stuff into boxes like that (and this applies in many areas of life) is sort of a waste of time. A girl talked to me on the street, but walked away before I could ask for her number. Is that an approach? A girl bumped up against me at the bar, then smiled at me and introduced me to her boyfriend. Is that an approach? I sat down at the same table as some girls in a restaurant because it was crowded and talked with them for five minutes. When I came back from the bathroom, they were gone. Is that an approach? I "insta-dated" a girl to a bar I talked with for a bit on a street one night, but after a while she started ignoring me to talk with a friend she saw there, so I left. Is that an approach?
These are all situations that happened to me just within the past couple weeks.
When you engage with women regularly, these are all sort of irrelevant questions, like asking whether Steve who has a height of 5'11" inches is tall, or not. There are girls you interact socially with that don't lead anywhere, and girls you bang. That's it.
The final thing I'd recommend is that if the OP is having issues with anxiety/depression, these are things that need to be squared away to the best of his ability before starting with game seriously..if it requires seeing a doctor or therapist, so be it. What do you care about more, having successful relationships with women, or being "judged" by some mental health professional? I've known people who worked in the industry, and frankly if you've got your head right enough to be posting here and actively talking with women, you're one of the last people they'd spend much time "judging." Successful relationships with women can do a lot to improve your confidence and keep depression at bay (which often springs out of feelings of isolation), but not starting with a solid foundation will definitely compromise you.
