[Lex S.]

I'll start this off by saying I'm much better at talking to girls in real life than via texting or dating sites. 5 years ago I never thought that would've been possible, but there's less to distract a girl when you're face-to-face.

Below is an example of a typical text exchange with a girl. I met her this weekend at a bar. After the place closed we stood outside talking for a while and then walked to the subway together. I didn't go home with her, but I managed to isolate her from her friends and spend some decent time with her.


Me: You know, we never found out each other's favorite [Band name] song
Her: Haha who's this xD
Me: [Name], the handsome guy you met at [Bar] this weekend
Her: How could I forget?! Mind blank. Matt's mate right?
Me: If Matt's mate walked to the subway with you afterwards, then yes
Her: My apologies, must of had a few more drinks than what I first thought xD So, favorite song then?
Me: You first

[24 hours later she responds]

Her: Haha to be honest, couldn't think of any off the top of my head

[I wait another 24 hours]

Me: No worries, there will be plenty more to talk about when we get together next week
Her: Alrighty then xD What's your last name?
Me: Do you need my social security number too?
Her: You're funny
Me: I'll be in [Neighborhood] on Tuesday, let's meet up at [Bar]. If you're lucky you'll get my PIN number too
Her: Add me [Facebook link]
Me: We'll see how Tuesday goes
Her: I don't know who you are! :o [Yet she remembered me earlier]
Me: You're young, your memory can't be that bad
Her: A visual clue might trigger my memory?
Me: Will it? [I send her a recent photo of myself playing guitar in a recording studio]

Then silence.

The first issue I have is, as the interaction goes on, the girl takes longer and longer to respond. I deal with this by taking longer than her to respond. So the above interaction, 19 texts long, took 3 days. The second issue I get is I'm usually bombarded with shit tests almost immediately after asking the girl out. I never get a yes or a no, it's either silence if it's a definite no or they toy with me (Which I view as a no since it's not a definite yes).

Any advice on where I'm going wrong is appreciated.

[ladderff]

It seemed all right to me. Can't win em all.

[kaotic]

This doesn't warrant it's own thread

Use this thread instead:

The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)

[Rhyme or Reason]

Not enough "plz respond". That always makes the bitches wet.

[Lex S.]

(03-25-2016 12:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

This doesn't warrant it's own thread

Use this thread instead:

The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)

This isn't about what to respond next, it's about breaking the pattern. If every text interaction ends up the same way then I must be the common denominator.

[kaotic]

(03-25-2016 12:54 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

(03-25-2016 12:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

This doesn't warrant it's own thread

Use this thread instead:

The "What should I text next?" thread (for when you get stuck)

This isn't about what to respond next, it's about breaking the pattern. If every text interaction ends up the same way then I must be the common denominator.

Still doesn't valid it's own thread, you'd get alot more help in the other thread and more input.

You literally asked her favorite song from the get go, I wouldn't.

She added you to her beta orbit on FB, you added her, I wouldn't.

She clearly doesn't remember you, you even sent her a pic.

She isn't interested, it's not a big deal, just another drunk bitch that hands out her number.

You can send a follow up text later, but I'd next her and move on. The lines dead.

[Khan]

(03-25-2016 10:34 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

I'll start this off by saying I'm much better at talking to girls in real life than via texting or dating sites.

Experienced players always preach that texting is for logistics only, at least before you bang her. I'd stick to that.

This is even more important if your text game is bad, like you said. In game, as well as in life, you should strive to maximize your strengths and minimize your flaws.

[Lex S.]

(03-25-2016 01:33 PM)Khan Wrote:  

(03-25-2016 10:34 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

I'll start this off by saying I'm much better at talking to girls in real life than via texting or dating sites.

Experienced players always preach that texting is for logistics only, at least before you bang her. I'd stick to that.

This is even more important if your text game is bad, like you said. In game, as well as in life, you should strive to maximize your strengths and minimize your flaws.

This is very true. But texting is still a big part of the game so I'm going to have to work to find ways to maximize my success with it.

And for the record, I didn't add her on Facebook (Although I checked out her photos). I know from past experiences that if a girl is too eager to be FB friends or gives you her FB instead of her phone number she either 1) Wants you to be a new orbiter, or 2) Will use it to find ways to disqualify you. If I do add a girl on FB it's always further down the road.

[XPQ22]

I don't really agree that texting pre-meet should be for logistics only. I'm totally willing for a little bit of witty banter/chat prior to the meet, particularly if it's a couple days away. The way I see it is that, in a way, after I pitch the meet and she agrees, we're kind of already "on the date." If she just goes silent for three days and doesn't try to learn a single thing more about me, it's been my experience that it's not going to go well.

Almost all the girls I've laid on the first or second date (we're up to 7 now since the summer) have wanted to engage in some chat, and asked me personal questions ("I don't know who you are!" doesn't count.) I view it as a bad sign if she doesn't.

Quote:

Me: No worries, there will be plenty more to talk about when we get together next week
Her: Alrighty then xD What's your last name?

"Alrighty then" as a response to a meet pitch like that is girl code for "Yeah, not really interested." The only reason she's likely asking you for your last name is so that she can go over and stalk your social media to confirm she made the right decision. A girl who really likes you doesn't give a fuck what your last name is.

And you didn't phrase it right. You shouldn't phrase it like a question ("Would you please meet up with me next week?"), but I'd suggest just saying "No worries. Why don't we get together at <insert cool spot here> on Thursday night and talk about it."

"No worries, there will be plenty more to talk about when we get together next week" sounds too hard sell.

Quote:

Me: Do you need my social security number too?
Her: You're funny

Top 5 "friend zone" phrases (thanks to Meninist twitter)

"you're like a brother to me"
"lol you're so funny"
"bestie"
"awwwww thank you"
"you're so nice"

You may see some similarities here.

Quote:

Me: I'll be in [Neighborhood] on Tuesday, let's meet up at [Bar]. If you're lucky you'll get my PIN number too
Her: Add me [Facebook link]

You're dead. Dropped into orbiter-land, never to return. The best you can do is turn down the offer and escape with your self-esteem.

Your text game isn't really that bad, except for the issue of how to pitch the meet. You're just dealing with a lukewarm girl who doesn't seem to remember you and doesn't seem particularly interested. Don't sweat it.

[ksbms]

I used to focus solely on logistics but it made it tough to make a girl keep you in her mind from the time I set up the date to the actual meet up.

Now I think it's good to exchange a few messages per 24h (and one ought to be in the evening - no need to explain why) so you not only provide logistics information but some snippets of who you are (essentially, trying to communicate 'I'm the coolest guy you've ever met') but also meta-information of 'who controls the frame'.

The most basic and most cardinal rule is a function of abundance - the more leads you have, the less you care, and this will be reflected often not only in the content of the messages you send but also how they are interspersed over time. If you have one lead you probably won't text a girl before the first date 'Wear a sexy dress, otherwise I'm gonna bend you over and spank your ass'. With ten leads? Oh, yes.

As with everything, it takes practice to get so good you develop an intuition what is best to text and what time to a particular girl. Krauser has interesting 'text game clinic' posts on his site. Worth a look.

[XPQ22]

(03-26-2016 08:33 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

If you have one lead you probably won't text a girl before the first date 'Wear a sexy dress, otherwise I'm gonna bend you over and spank your ass'. With ten leads? Oh, yes.

I told a girl recently via text, prior to our second date "Looking forward to it, it's always nice having new pussy in my life"

She replied "Haha, charming!" and I still got the bang

A "lol you're so funny" reply to something you said means you're in the "friend zone", a sarcastic "oh, soo charming" to an off-color statement like that, where you can picture her rolling her eyes at you, means you're in somewhere else...

[Rhyme or Reason]

Quote:

I used to focus solely on logistics but it made it tough to make a girl keep you in her mind from the time I set up the date to the actual meet up.

If a chick even asks "who is this?" when I text (assuming we have each others #s) I know it's dead in the water...if she isn't excited off the bat just from hearing from you shes has a low interest level.

I text for logistics only. Until we bang. Then it's logistics and getting pics / sexting with the ho. I don't have time to get "cute" with my texting.

[Turnus]

I would have picked up the phone and called her