[No Habit]

Introduction
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Hello my fellow Roosh friends,

I am starting a new thread and leaving the old one (Shaking off the Bad Habits - My 100) behind me because I don't want to carry any old baggage with me and the old thread was mostly negative because I myself was full of negativity at the time. I also don't believe in numbers, or fixed goals, anymore so I dropped the 100. So here we go:

I am undergoing a radical transformation as a human being. A lot of things have changed in the last two months. I am really loving my life now. Everyday is a new opportunity for me.

I have dropped all medication because it made me dull, stupid and ill. I quit my job because I hated it. I no longer jerk off or watch porn, not because I suppress or control the urge but because I've seen the futility of it and the urge went away. I am dressing sharply now and take great care of my appearance. I have become a vegan because I can no longer take the responsibility for killing or torturing a living thing. I have dropped a lot of body fat and am doing a healthy sports routine every day. In the last two months I might have done more new things than in the last five years or so.

Starting out I want to give you guys a little information about myself:

Status
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Gender: Male
Age: 24
Ever kissed a girl: Yes
Ever had a girlfriend: No
Ever had sex: No
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This information will be updated as we go along.

I have lost most of my fears and negative feelings in the last two months. So not being afraid anymore there was the real possibility for an:

Approach
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I was out in the city doing some shopping when it started raining. I went into a bag shop to buy an umbrella. After a few seconds I had found what I needed and went to the counter.

Her: Hi
Me: ... Hi
Her: You already found something, huh?
Me: Yes.
Her: You really need one of those right now.
Me: Yeah, definitely.
Her: Bye.
Me: Have a great day!

She looked cute, was probably around 20 years old, and smiling at me all the time. So when I went home she was kinda stuck in my head so I thought fuck it let's give it a shot. Two hours later I drove to the city again. I was just about to enter the shop again when my heart suddenly starting beating like crazy and I started blushing. I turned around and it took me about an hour roaming the city to calm myself down and realize that whatever will happen to me will only make me grow as a man. I might piss my pants when talking to her but it will be worth it. So I went into the shop just to find her not being there anymore. I asked one of her colleagues who told me she would be working again two days later from 9:30 to 19:00. Driving home I felt fucking great for actually doing this and not being a pussy who doesn't do shit like I was in the past.

So two days later I went there at 9:30. Before entering the shop I took a quick look through the window to see if she'd be there. There was only a girl who didn't look quite as cute as I had remembered. I wondered if it would be her and about the possibility of going into the shop and and asking out the wrong one.

I turned around again and this time it only took me about 15 minutes to get into the right state of mind and I went in:

Me: Hi.... I am not here to buy anything.... Do you want to go out with me tomorrow evening?
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Are you happy with him?
Her: Yes.
Me: May I give you my number in case you two fall out of love?
Her: I don't think so, we've been together for 5 years.
Me: Have a nice day.

What I noticed was as soon as she noticed me she had an ice cold look on her face. Probaly her colleague had informed her about me and she prepared the last two days on how to properly turn me down. I think I made the fault of expecting her to be smiling again or at least be flattered by my approach but she was just cold as fuck with an annoyed "Are you seriously doing this?!" look on her face.

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This was the first time in my life I had ever asked out a women directly. And even though I got turned down I felt 90% great afterwards. I only felt about 10% sad because I had built up this expectation on how she should act on my approach. So next time I will not make any expectations and nothing should interfere with my happiness.

Afterword
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As always I appreciate any advice or feedback on this post. If you think it was too long or boring I will adjust next time. New approaches are on the horizon.

[Il Bersagliere]

"I don't wanna be your boyfriend" seems to work well.

[No Habit]

Quote:

"I don't wanna be your boyfriend" seems to work well.

Thanks mate. For that advice alone it was worth to create this thread. Why do you think this works well? What is that response implying?

What I can see as a mistake is that I took her "I have a boyfriend" as a an absolute "No". I mean, with that phrase she didn't actually answer my question. It's like:

Me: Do you want to ride a bike?
Her: I have a car.
Me: Are you happy with that car?

So she kinda deflected my "attack". Next time I will not let loose:

Me: Do you want to ride a bike?
Her: I have car.
Me: You have not answered my question.

[Il Bersagliere]

Many girls will hit you with the 'boyfriend' line. It might be bullshit., It might not be. When it is bs, it's probably just a shit test.

Have you read Bang or Day Bang by Roosh yet? Those books are worth taking a look at before committing to an approach style. Very important. Also, do not ask for 'dates' or 'ask her out'. Dating and courtship these days seem to be very vague/cryptic. It's good to have something structured as a beginner. I have posted a short outline below as a guideline.

Opener. Ramble (Read Bang by Roosh). Girl takes bait. She invests. You give a time constraint (e.g. saying you have class or some shit). You number close. You use text game to plan an outing or 'date' and logistics. She comes out. You tease, make her laugh, etc. Then you switch it up with some comfort game. Maybe a bar or 2 and try to get her back to your place. You escalate to sex.

I suggest you read Tuth's First Date Bangs as well. It's very helpful and a much more detailed sheet on how your first dates should go when you start getting dates.

Like you stated at the beginning of your thread, negativity is really shitty, especially while approaching. As cliche as it sounds, girls can notice it. Get/develop your vibe and try to approach when you are feeling very well.. Roll off rejections. Also search other approach threads and read them. They help. Good luck.

[No Habit]

Thanks. I know Tuth's recipe by heart, have read Bang, might read Day Bang now.

[Adrenaline]

Dude, this is cringe worthy. You set yourself up to fail from the start.

1) "May I give you my number anyway in case you two fall out of love?". That line sounds beta as fuck. Never ask a woman for permission. Just tell her you're going to give her your number.

2) continually going back to the store reeks of desperation, and asking a co-worker when she will be working again puts the icing on the cake. Not to mention you showed up again at exactly 9.30am when you knew she would be working 9.30-19.00. Sorry but that's borderline creepy. You should have made the second approach more natural by not speaking to the co-worker and showing up randomly another time.

3) Your overall demeanor sounds far too polite. When she gave you the cold shoulder and the boyfriend line you need to give her some attitude back. " Good thing I don't wanna be your boyfriend then" with a smirk turns the tables completely in that situation and likely flusters the girl. Then it's game on.

Keep going mate. You'll get there eventually.

[Zerdame]

(03-25-2016 03:26 AM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Me: Hi.... I am not here to buy anything.... Do you want to go out with me

Firstly, I'm glad that you're actually starting out to change matters, you know you want something and you're up and about getting it done, that's something and you should be proud of taking the first few steps.

Still, this is probably a line you don't want to use. Direct game isn't supposed to be this beta. Telling her you're not here to buy anything sets off the creep alarm. It lets her know that you've probably been doing abit of stalking and that's never attractive. Letting her know that you're not here to buy anything after you've gotten the number or date and if done in the correct tone and manner, can be seen as massive alpha behaviour but revealing it before anything settle in just makes you look desperate and stalkerish.

Second, don't ask her if she wants to go out with you. Just tell her "we should hang out sometime" or "Give me your number, we'll fix something one day" or if your conversation involved an interest/hobby that you both do, you could use that as a number closer. "Give me your number, lets check out that arts show" You could also use the fact she works in a store, "Let me get your number, I'll text you next time I don't know which brand of bananas to buy" Be witty be chill about it.

I'm throwing many number closers at you so you should adapt according to which ones you feel would work best for you. Its good that you're actually doing something to change your life. Now make sure you do it right.

[No Habit]

Keep up the feedback, I am learning a lot from this, I appreciate it.

I'll see if I can do a few approaches tomorrow.

[Tex]

All right, ol' Uncle Tex is going to jump in here.



First, congratulations on improving yourself. It sounds like you're two months into a serious change—keep at it. The first couple months you'll start seeing the improvements, but people fall off when they take those gains for granted and slack a little here and there, then rationalize away all their hard work. I don't think you'll be one of those guys.

So, when I read this post, three things stuck out to me:
1) you're 24 and never had a girlfriend or had sex
2) you're not busting nuts, and
3) you're doing day approaches, which are pretty direct.

Item #1: Makes me think you either aren't putting in the work (which is understandable, approaching is scary and rough at first) or there is something about your appearance and swagger and doesn't click with girls. Probably a mixture of both, so they both need to be worked on.

In regards to approaching, you should do what I did last summer: schedule an hour block every day to go approach. And every time you go out, make at least one approach. This isn't you scheduling a day to approach, setting up your logistics and doing a pre-game routine or any shit like that—it's simply going out and flirting with girls.

Doing this as a routine every day with the goal of making at least one approach helps re-program your brain to be actively gaming. This is something that all seasoned players naturally do—they actively game girls all the time. They are constantly set on game mode, testing a girl and teasing her and never letting his guard down. By this I mean that a good player is always on "find and fuck" mode when he is around women, probing them and keeping the door open for a bang.

This doesn't mean a seasoned player is always gaming girls around him in the sense that he blatantly approaches them, but when he is in the presence of a fuckable girl, he is building rapport with her and his mind explores all the ways he could bed her. A man naturally is in "find and fuck" mode when he sees a cute girl, but society (and feminism/single moms) suppress this natural tendency. Going out every day, and approaching at least one girl at a scheduled time, helps break your mind back into its natural state. After you smash through that initial wall of conditioning, you will find yourself much more in touch with your body.

In regards to your appearance and mannerisms, I'll trust you upped your style, but your conditioning routine might be lacking. You said you do sport activities every day. That's a good start, but "every day" seems like you're never giving yourself time to rest, and while you should participate in sports (because it's an extremely healthy way to develop yourself), you should also have some kind of guided body building plan.

I don't mean body building like you're Mr. Olympia. I just mean body building in the sense that you'll have a plan that has you manipulating your body to achieve maximum aesthetic and functional effect.

Let us know exactly what your physical activity consists of.

Item #2: If you don't have any source of regular sex, you have to jack off. You have to. You can't just let everything build up.



If you do, you'll experience two things: a hard time keeping your composure during approaches and (eventually) emotional instability.

If you don't get some kind of release, you won't be able to focus and have an abundance mentality as easily when you approach, because the urgency you'll feel to let one off (especially in the presence of a girl) will just be too great for you to stay focused. Often, you'll just relapse into beta game (because there's so much on the line), or become extremely direct (because you just need to cum asap).

This urgency will give way to irritation and anxiety after about two to three weeks (the first week to second week stretch is the easiest, but after two weeks things start to get intense).

My advice would be to pick one day of the week where you jerk off. That will keep you from becoming an addict but still give you control over your dick (some studies also say this helps boost testosterone).

Item #3: You're doing day approaches, which is the hardest kind of game there is (and you're doing them direct).

One day approaches and direct game: if you aren't familiar with the cat metaphor in regards to approaching women during the day, you need to buy Roosh's book Day Game and read it. All your problems with approach anxiety (which I know you have) and the way you go about the day approach are dealt with there.

Since I assume you haven't read it, I'll explain a the gist of the day approach method: women are less open to being gamed during the day. So, when you do approach them during the day, you have to disguise it (i.e. you can't be direct) and you must build comfort.

During the day, building comfort is the most important thing. While I personally think you get a little but more leeway these days than the days when Day Bang was written, in the sense that girls are a bit more receptive to directness in the day now, it's still the rule that being direct in the day is not the way to go.

And because comfort is so important, being attractive and normal (i.e. not coming off as weird and insidiously antisocial) is that much more important during the day.

What I would recommend is you go out and do your approaches at night in clubs and bars, or even on the sidewalks outside of these night venues. There's some initial anxiety to get over if you don't frequent these places or you're antisocial, but that passes with time.

Now, I understand that some people are from small towns and the night life simply doesn't exist there. I am one of those people. For the majority of my life running game, I've been confined to shitty malls, local coffee shops, Books-a-Millions, small college campuses, lines to the ATM and even the McDonald's down the road.

Instead of refusing to ever game, I would do two things: first, accept my situation, still set a time to approach, and jump from place to place in my town, scoping out where there were people to day game and approaching as many of them as I could. The second thing I did was keep my eye out for situations in my everyday life that I could turn into approaches.

That's the beauty of day game—when you get used to it, it's extremely versatile.

One second you're getting a new pair of pants at the store, the next you're balls deep in an approach.

If you master day game, you master 24/7 charisma. It just takes patience and consistent work.



Even approaching waitresses and hotel receptionists is good practice. This is something Lothario once told me (and I'm grossly paraphrasing here)—when you've got a women working to help you, why not approach her? She's there, she's human, she can be banged. And she's in front of you. Why not approach her? What's the worst that can happen? You simply might as well do it.

It's really only a question of balls.

In short, day game your ass off if you have to, night game when you can, and accept that you will have to refine your skills if you do end up approaching during the day. And understand that being direct during the day is tough.

Now let me now boil all this down into a list of things for you to do:

1) Buy Day Bang
2) Go to the mall RIGHT NOW and approach
3) Come back and post your workout routine
4) After that, post your stats (how tall are you, what do you look like, what body type do you have, etc.)
5) After that, schedule an hour block where you can approach every day

[No Habit]

Quote:

Now let me now boil all this down into a list of things for you to do:

1) Buy Day Bang
2) Go to the mall RIGHT NOW and approach
3) Come back and post your workout routine
4) After that, post your stats (how tall are you, what do you look like, what body type do you have, etc.)
5) After that, schedule an hour block where you can approach every day

1) Done - Will finish it tomorrow
2) Will be approaching all day tomorrow in the streets and later in bars and clubs.
3) I am happy with my routine and my body right now, which does not mean that I am not consistently growing in this department. The routine consists of running/sprinting and various types of pushups, squats, pullups, leg raises and handstand. Should I feel sore or tired of one of the exercises on a day I drop it and rest until it feels fine again.
4)
Height: 5,9
Hair: Balding, Shaved to 3mm
Eyebrows: Plucked by a hair stylist every two weeks.
Beard: Cleanly cut 0,8mm beard.
Body type: V-Taper, Six Pack, Low Percentage of Body Fat, Correct Posture.
5) I'll think about that.

[Tex]

[quote='Bad-Habit' pid='1260365' dateline='1458935457']

Quote:

Hair: Balding, Shaved to 3mm

I'm also a member of Team Shaved Head.

[Gustavus Adolphus]

There is no reason a 5'9" 24yr-old man with v-taper body type shouldn't be able to slay high quality pussy. You've got to start believing this, and it needs to shine brightly in your approaches.

I agree with earlier posts- it's all about the vibe you transmit. If you were your shadow, watching yourself, are you: fun, good sense of humor, outgoing, engaging, mysterious- or are you failing to showcase these strengths?

Going direct with: "Hi, I'm here. Gimme your phone number." This is almost as bad as talking about how great your job is, talking you, you, you. Girls don't care about this shit. They aren't listening. They want to talk about themselves. If a girl is skeptical, she may ask boring questions like, "so... What do you do?" I never answer this question seriously. If you say you are an investment banker, the conversation dies. When I'm out with a wing, we have this shit locked down and just pick random made-up jobs that we do. [think along the lines of delicioustacos' "falcon trainer" story]

Hopefully these mood-killer questions are never asked to you because you're being a good conversationalist. But you need to be thinking two steps ahead of the dynamic, artfully letting the girl sell herself on why she wants to fuck you. You are simultaneously evaluating what kind of lead this is, hot-warm-cold, and how you want to play it.

Your job is to lead the conversation. And you need to realize when to go in for the kill. If the vibe is good, you are making her laugh and she's touching your arm or playing with her hair and looking at you with big doe eyes, just take out your phone and have her call herself. Let her know you'll be in touch soon, or whatever your style is that day.

I know you're new at this, but man I'll tell you- get your vibe right, and undoubtedly believe you are worth it to any girl you say hi to. There's not just one vibe that works either. Players come in all varieties, some are assholes, some are just cool as fuck, some are sweet-talking casanovas- and the list goes on. Which one are you? Rhetorical.

In the end, you are 24. Go out and own the world, it's right there- the sights and sounds that you've yet to experience. Be adventurous and have some stories to tell. Pussy falls in the lap of the interesting and confident man who lives life to the fullest. You just have to put some game theories to the test along the way and figure out which ones make it rain- some will drizzle, some will pour.

Best of luck in finding your path to success sooner rather than later.

[No Habit]

Thanks Gustavos.

I will be updating this thread very soon but first want to get clear on what came out so far.

Things that I get:

• Don't accept the boyfriend line.
• Never ask a woman for permission.
• Don't be a polite pussy.
• Don't open with a line that's about some stupid stuff about oneself.
• Don't ask her if she wants to go out with you.
  

What I am not really seeing yet:

• Don't return to a place where a girl is working, don't ask a colleague about her and especially don't show up as soon as possible.
  

Why is this one bad? Does this reek of desperation? Why? Does it make it seem that she is the highest priority in my life?

See if I was working in a shop and an attractive girl came in and we had a nice conversation and later on she would ask my colleague about me and show up as soon as possible I'd be glad about that. So how come for a women this is not so? Or does it depend? Would an ugly fat women who never had a boyfriend be glad but a gorgeous bomb would be annyoed?

I am trying to see the mistake I am doing here. I guess I have put myself in her position and then thought about what would be appropriate but this seems to be the wrong approach. If she had never had a boyfriend or sex she might have been glad but since this is not so it must be a mistake.

Eagerly awating a discussion with you guys.

[No Habit]

Next to Last Post
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This is my next to last post in this thread.

Thinking about all this game stuff and the "you have to do a,b,c and not x,y,z and whatnot because it's beta" shit yesterday. This is not it. As I am typing this right now I am throwing away all ideals and patterns. I will not read Bang or Day Bang anymore and I will not go out to approach women.

I am absolutely happy with myself and my life as it is. So I will continue growing on my journey everyday and should a beautiful women cross my my path I will fearlessly walk up to her, express myself honestly to her and see where it goes from there.

I will do one final post here when I lose my virginity. It may be in an hour. It may be in a year. It may never be.

You are all great men! Thank you for putting me on the right track!

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(03-28-2016 09:54 AM)Bad-Habit Wrote:  

Next to Last Post
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This is my next to last post in this thread.

Thinking about all this game stuff and the "you have to do a,b,c and not x,y,z and whatnot because it's beta" shit yesterday. This is not it. As I am typing this right now I am throwing away all ideals and patterns. I will not read Bang or Day Bang anymore and I will not go out to approach women.

I am absolutely happy with myself and my life as it is. So I will continue growing on my journey everyday and should a beautiful women cross my my path I will fearlessly walk up to her, express myself honestly to her and see where it goes from there.

I will do one final post here when I lose my virginity. It may be in an hour. It may be in a year. It may never be.

You are all great men! Thank you for putting me on the right track!

Well, if you're happy with life, then okay.

But approaching would be good for you in terms of developing conversation skills so that when you do come across your 'beautiful woman' you will actually know what to say.

It's sad to see a brother with a goal just abandoning it. I was hoping to see your 100 approaches.

It sounds like you are overanalyzing things and have worked yourself up a lot, and have decided to just abandon the whole project.

Do what you will, but I think you wouldn't have wanted to do this project of 100 approaches unless you felt deep down that it would benefit you in some way.

Rather than abandoning your 100 approaches completely, maybe just lower your sights a little? Perhaps just try and do 100 conversations with 100 different women. Don't worry about getting the number or getting laid; just try and have 100 conversations with 100 random women, try and talk, and just see what experiences you have, and also how you react under stress and what are your own weaknesses to work on.

We on the forum want to help you, and I'm going to be blunt: I don't see how chickening out of this project is going to be of any use to you. You are basically running back into your comfort zone, and I promise you, there is no personal growth in the comfort zone.

Stick to your goal of 100, maybe just focus on 100 conversations as opposed to number closes, and after you've done your 100, if you genuinely don't feel the need to talk to women, cool, at least you've tried and realised it's not for you. No one is asking you to bring the women back to your place and bang them, but at least develop some conversational experience before you decide you'd rather just sit back and stew in your comfort.

If you don't like going out to approach, combine it with random activities, like going on a hiking group, going to a poetry event, visiting a church, etc etc. So at least you are going out into the world and hopefully that 'beautiful woman' will cross your path. And if a woman does not cross your path, at least you've done something new or different.

I guarantee you that doing 100 conversations will change your life. Maybe you won't become a player, but you will discover things about yourself that will make you a stronger man. Even if you plan on becoming a celibate virgin monk, I still encourage you to finish what you started. Even if you do only two 'approaches' a week, and even if they only end up being a minute long each, do it man. You'll be done within a year, it won't take up much time, and you'll be a better man for it.

Finish what you started bro. You've already done 4 approaches. You only have 96 to go. That's not a lot, especially once you've passed the first 10 (it gets easier after that). Like I said earlier, even if you are not actually trying to seduce them, at least go out and have some conversations. Don't feel pressured to make a good impression, or try to game them. Just do some small talk, and if you run out of stuff to say, say good bye. But maybe you'll run across a random chick and you just might 'click' and then you don't have to worry about game or whatever because the conversation will just flow naturally. But you won't get to experience that if you are too terrified to even say 'hi'.

It's always sad to see a guy give up on himself, when he clearly has potential. Finish your 100 approaches, and don't make it strenous on yourself - it's okay if you don't want to game chicks, it's okay if you don't want to be 'alpha', it's okay if you don't want to think and think and think about what to say and how to say it. Just have some conversations and see what happens. Even if all 96 remaining approaches are stupid small talk conversations that barely last a minute, you will still learn a lot. Don't say you don't want to approach girls when you've barely started.

[kalimero]

As a fellow newbie let me chime in and tell you a bit about my own experience.
As TR rightly stated I think you are just escaping from the discomfort of having to talk to random girls. You said that you wanna wait until you meet your "beautiful girl" to confess your love and see what happens. What if she says no? what if she doesn't care and ignores you or even laugh at your lacking conversation skills? By then you really wanna be a good conversationalist and make a good impression on her. That's what you learn from game.
Only if you are really handsome will direct game be of any help, and even then it's not guaranteed. Say you are very handsome and the pretty girl of your dream appears once a year, since direct game probability of success is around 30% I would say (given that girls care less about physics than guys), how long do you think it will take to succeed? I don't even wanna think about. Do the math for yourself...

I just started myself a couple of months ago. It's very hard at the beginning, especially the first approaches. Every night I go out (solo), I have to struggle to bring myself to do the first and the second approach. After that it gets easier, and I end up doing my 10 approaches of the night.
Sometimes I get lucky, sometimes I get a couple of phone numbers that go nowhere and most of the times I go back home alone, slightly depressed but rich from the experiences I had. What makes me go on is the motivation I get by reading posts from this forum. Knowing that there are guys that made it and who are sleeping with top notch girls is a proof that it's possible and makes me even wanna try harder the next time. If they managed to do it, I definitely can!

I don't know if I wanna keep chasing girls for the rest of my life but what I know is that if I meet the pretty girl I might wanna marry I definitely wanna have the highest possible success rate. I believe game can also be seen as some kind of training for that day. It's not necessarily what I want but it's a possibility.

Don't give up bro! do the rest of the approaches and you will see, it does get easier with time!

[No Habit]

Alright mates, I thought it would be a good idea to continue posting my approaches here, even if I don't go out with the intention to approach or reach a certain number of approaches, anymore.

Daytime in the City

Approach

I am entering the tram to the university and sit down opposite to a girl, she might be about my age or a little older. She looks very healthy, her style looks great. Her skin is not perfect, I love her brown hair and she has the most beautiful eyes.

I am checking with my peripheral vision if she is giving me any signs of interest. Nothing. I look her into the eyes, still nothing. I lightly reposition myself and rub my leg against hers, she reciprocates. We do this a couple of times until she pulls ways.

The tram stops at the university, she stands up. I follow her and walk up to her while pulling my earplugs out. I gently touch her on the arm.

Me: Hey!
She turns around with a big smile.
Her: Hi.
Me: You are very attractive. I want to get to know you.
Her: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Have a great day!
Her: Thank you! You, too!

Compared to the first approach where the girl was cold as fuck and didn't appreciate my approach this one clearly did. I wasn't nervous at all and had no approach anxiety. I spoke clearly and confident.

I am not bothering to overcome the boyfriend line right now. If she states that, she either really has one or is not interested.


A night out

This is the first time in my life I go out into a bar solo in my home country. I only went out solo to bars in Florida until now.

Friday night. I go into the bar which is said to be the best in town. It is crowded as fuck but I manage to find a place at the bar. Three guys about ten years my senior sit down next to me. One has a shaved head and looks at me, I give him a slight nod to acknowledge him noticing me. He wants to stare me down now, he can't, I am more confident than him, he looks down and away and never makes eyes contact again the whole night.

Approach

I look around and the only attractive girls I notice are the waitresses. One of the lesser attractive waitresses sits down next to me and starts playing on her phone for a quarter hour or so.

I slightly touch her on her arm.

Me: So what is your job here? Your responsible for the social media marketing?
She didn't get the humor.
Her: My shift is over.
Me: Ah, okay.
We both turn away.

Approach

I notice a girl who is kind of looking okay talking to her friend. I take my chair and sit down next to them.

Me: Where did you leave your men?
Her: At home.
Me: So what are you up to now? Women evening?
Her: Yea.... you?
Me: Men evening.
She laughs.
Me: You got some plans for tonight or are you just going to hang around here?
She: No, we're only hanging around. You?
Me: I want to go into club XY later.
She: Okay.
Me: I have never been in a club my whole life.
This catches her attention. She didn't expect me to open up like that. She looks at me curiously.
Her: Really?
A waitress comes up.
She: Hold on a second.

I wait 10 seconds for her to come back at me. She doesn't. I take my chair and sit back down at the bar.

Approach

I watch the most beautiful waitress and call her attention with a slight hand gesture.

Me: O que e seu nome?
Her: What?
Me: O que e seu nome?
Her: What language are you speaking?
Me: Voce nao fala portugues?
Her: No. I am hungarian.
Me: I see.
She rubs my back and continues working.

I wasn't quick and flexible enough to respond to her. Next time I will throw out a "I didn't know they have beautiful women there" with a slight smirk.

Approach

I leave the bar and notice a small beautiful italian passing me by. She is walking really fast. She is obviously scared of getting assaulted or raped, I only noticed this afterwards, though.

After a few seconds I turn around and run up to her. I touch her on the arm as lightly as possible.

Me: Hey!
She jumps to the side being scared as shit and stares at me. I back of and express in wonder that she is so scared.
Her: WHOA, you scared the shit out of me.
She calms down. She looks into my eyes and raises her eyebrows in expectation of what I have to say.
Me: You are very beautiful and I want to get to know you.
Her face lights up with joy.
Her: Thank you so much, I got a boyfriend, though.
Me: I see. Have a nice evening. Bye.
Her: You, too. Bye.

This one was very open to me and genuinely enjoyed the approached.


I take the bus back to my parking lot. I sit down next to the door and notice a handsome girl. She doesn't give me any signs of interest. A family comes by with a little girl. I give them a warm smile, the mother smiles at me. This got the attention of the girl, she is making strong eye contact with me now. I don't hold it and look to the side. She looks to the side. I leave the bus and drive home. She was hot but I was tired and was determined to end this night.

One Morning

Approach

I am entering the train and see a women that is absolutely fucking hot. She is about thirty and looks perfect. I sit down next to her. I check her out, she doesn't give any sign of interest. I reposition myself and touch her, she doesn't pull away or reciprocate. We arrive in the city. As she leaves the train I walk up to her and touch her by the arm.

Me: Hey.
Her: Hello.
Me: You look amazing. You're not single, right?
I asked this because I started to wonder if there is any single beautiful girl in this world at all.
Her: Actually I am.
Finally!
Me: I want to get to know you.
She turns cold.
Her: No thanks.
She quickly walks away.

I guess I didn't had much chance as she was at least six years my senior and was looking so great she could have had anyone.
Also it was more a "fuck it why not approach her" and not a "She is amazing and I will do everything to fuck her" approach, the former lacking the determination and energy.


My current situation

Right now, all effort goes into finding a new job. Until I got this handled I have no money to do anything at all. I am still improving my style and am getting a lot of opportunities with women. They make strong eye contact or sit down next to me and start smiling. Most of them are not what I am looking for, though or the situation is just not right. I have also increased the number of conversations I have with female strangers in general.

Questions

Why are most of the guys here ignoring the boyfriend line and continue to push forward? Isn't this just a waste of time? Do you try to turn the cold ones who are not really having a bf but are not interested into some hot leads?

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No Habit

[No Habit]

I am going to drop the "I want to get to know you" line. It's stupid. I don't even know why I said that in the first place. I guess I wanted to convey that I am not insecure about showing off my intent... which is an insecurity in itself.

Instead of telling her what I want to, I am just going to DO what I want to do next time.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

Welcome back, you've hit 10 approaches! Good work!

You seem to be complementing women a lot though. That never worked for me, and it's possibly the reason they throw the boyfriend line at you. They might not even have a boyfriend, it's just in this day and age women find compliments from strangers to be turn-offs.

Otherwise keep going at it at your own comfortable pace. The approaches are soon going to start improving in terms of your conversational ability. It might even help you with your job hunt.

[No Habit]

What I can tell so far is that the girl in the tram and the italian one really appreciated my approaches. I could see it in their eyes and by their genuine smile. It really didn't look like they turned me down because I complimented them. I'll give this some thought nevertheless.

[No Habit]

I've thought about it and am going to stop the complimenting, too. Thanks for the feedback Thomas.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

(04-23-2016 04:38 PM)No Habit Wrote:  

What I can tell so far is that the girl in the tram and the italian one really appreciated my approaches. I could see it in their eyes and by their genuine smile. It really didn't look like they turned me down because I complimented them. I'll give this some thought nevertheless.

That's the thing, women in a certain mood at a certain time at a certain place will actually enjoy being approached. It's not the compliment they enjoyed, but the approach. Rather than giving a compliment, try and make conversation, or else compliment something they are wearing or using rather than themselves, as a way of getting the conversation going. Once the conversation has advanced somewhat, then you can go for the number or even the compliment, but chicks have to get to know you first before they are willing to commit to anything further than a short conversation.

There are of course exceptions to the rule, and if you really crunch the numbers you might find a girl who responds to your quick, direct approach style; but you yourself don't seem too interested in just 'getting laid' as such so I recommend rather work on the conversation element of an approach. Leave out compliments and you'll find most conversations will last longer, at least in my experience.

[yeppels]

(04-24-2016 04:05 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

There are of course exceptions to the rule, and if you really crunch the numbers you might find a girl who responds to your quick, direct approach style; but you yourself don't seem too interested in just 'getting laid' as such so I recommend rather work on the conversation element of an approach. Leave out compliments and you'll find most conversations will last longer, at least in my experience.

I agree with this 100%. Most of the time, I think opening a stranger girl with a compliment about her looks puts both her and you in the mindset of "you are a sexual object to me". Instead, when opening a stranger, treat them like a person. This is where the advice "talk to anyone and everyone" comes to mind.

Giovonny is probably my favorite poster in regards to day game, and his approach is to talk about whatever is happening around them.

In the coffee shop - What are you studying?

In the store trying on hats - I'm looking for a hat, help me out.

Tram stops at university - Are you a student there?

[TornadoByProxy]

I have absolutely no sympathy and will offer no advice to a 24 year old virgin who refuses to read Bang and Day Bang. Why are you even on this forum? All of your answers begin in those two books and your arrogance in not reading them shows that you can't be helped.

[No Habit]

Quote:

I have absolutely no sympathy and will offer no advice to a 24 year old virgin who refuses to read Bang and Day Bang.

That's cool. Nobody forces you to do so.

Quote:

Why are you even on this forum?

I came here because I had problems with a girl back in the day. It has become a second home to me and helped me grow as a man. I also like to think that I contributed a bit here.

Quote:

All of your answers begin in those two books and your arrogance in not reading them shows that you can't be helped.

First of all, I actually did read Bang. I am not going to read those books now because I don't think this will help me. If you think otherwise, feel free to elaborate why.

Does this make me arrogant? If so, why does that imply I cannot be helped?

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No Habit