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God I'm such a fool
#1

God I'm such a fool

I was at the bus stop and the girl was constantly giving me IOI's (eye fucking, etc) and I did not do a single thing because of approach anxiety... What can be done? I feel very bad afterwards if I did not do the approach but the approach anxiety is killing me...
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#2

God I'm such a fool

Have you tried poking yourself in the left testicle with a sharp object when this happens?

Mixx
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#3

God I'm such a fool

You probably need a real wing man that approaches at all times to kill your anxiety. Someone that has the balls to go over the girl and tell her that you want to talk to her.

Fuck, funny how time changes, i remember when i used to have that kind of anxiety girls used to eye fuck me all the time, now that i am super confident, i dont even see that happening anymore, i just approach all girls that i think they look good.

Try get the habit of approaching girls all time, force yourself to do it for 30 days, try approach all type of girls, young, old, ugly, beautiful, just approach everybody and create any type of convo.

What city you based? If you are in one of the places i visit or going to visit, we can hang out for few hours and you see what approaching is.
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#4

God I'm such a fool

Quote: (07-05-2011 10:16 AM)Geronimo Wrote:  

I was at the bus stop and the girl was constantly giving me IOI's (eye fucking, etc) and I did not do a single thing because of approach anxiety... What can be done? I feel very bad afterwards if I did not do the approach but the approach anxiety is killing me...


Seriously, see if you can buy a rubber band that is very tight and pull that shit back and let it really sting your flesh whenever you flop on an approach.

Try that 50 times and if you still exercise hesitation, try and look online for an electric dog collar or bracelet. Wear the bracelet surreptitiously under your sleeve (be sure to keep it fully charged). Every time you pass up on a potential reptile, trigger the buzz and let it shock.

I am certain after 50 shocks or so (depending on how fixated your DNA is on illogical fears), you will be opening up on lizards as easily as you break wind when you have gas....

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Love 'em or leave 'em but we can't live without lizardsssss..

An Ode To Lizards
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#5

God I'm such a fool

the biggest factor of approach anxiety is that a guy thinks he would mess up things like 'what would i say after hi?' . 'what if she denied me?' 'looks ackward' etc etc.

the best thing for approach anxiety is to think a girl that she has no brain and u are going to approach a mental person who is ran away from mental hospital...she has no brain to think at all.

think this again n again untill u approach. ...
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#6

God I'm such a fool

When I see clear IOI's im usually able to approach 95% of the time. Its when I am not getting the IOI's, that I find myself with approach anxiety.
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#7

God I'm such a fool

This is what the 3 second rule is for. You approach before anxiety sets in. The longer you wait, the more anxious you get.

If she's clearly eye fucking you, then you can afford to be bold.

You: Are you shy?
Her: Yes/No/Maybe, Why?
You: You've been looking at me for 5 minutes, but still haven't come over to say hello.
Her: {tingle}

I've got the dick so I make the rules.
-Project Pat
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#8

God I'm such a fool

Had a similar situation today at the grocery store. Girl didn't give me eye contact like in your case, but I hesitated just slightly on the approach then she went off in a different direction and I lost her. Sometimes your brain isn't in "approach mode" and it just chokes.

Ask yourself what you're going to do if a similar situation presents itself, because it will.
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#9

God I'm such a fool

Quote: (07-05-2011 12:46 PM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

This is what the 3 second rule is for. You approach before anxiety sets in. The longer you wait, the more anxious you get.

If she's clearly eye fucking you, then you can afford to be bold.

You: Are you shy?
Her: Yes/No/Maybe, Why?
You: You've been looking at me for 5 minutes, but still haven't come over to say hello.
Her: {tingle}

Good. I will try this one.
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#10

God I'm such a fool

Quote: (07-07-2011 01:16 AM)Geronimo Wrote:  

Quote: (07-05-2011 12:46 PM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

This is what the 3 second rule is for. You approach before anxiety sets in. The longer you wait, the more anxious you get.

If she's clearly eye fucking you, then you can afford to be bold.

You: Are you shy?
Her: Yes/No/Maybe, Why?
You: You've been looking at me for 5 minutes, but still haven't come over to say hello.
Her: {tingle}

Good. I will try this one.

Damn, I like that one... stolen (if I can remember that shit)
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#11

God I'm such a fool

I think the most important thing to do here is to remember how bad it felt after you hesitated.

When the next girl is in sight, remember that moment. Do you want to feel that way again?
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#12

God I'm such a fool

Okay, so first of all this post may be kind of loopy, as I'm on anti-anxiety meds right now so don't get mad or anything. Ok, thanks.

I had a similar situation today too! It's like this week is National Approach Anxiety Week!

Today on my ride home from work I was waiting for the subway when the most attractive black girl I have ever seen in real life walked up next to me. She was listening to her Ipod, and had a blank look on her face. She got on the same train car as me. The following dialogue played in my head for the next half hour:

oh shit oh shit dammit you can't let this slip through your fingers failure is almost certain but it's guaranteed if you don't open your mouth what would Roissy say / PERFORM ANALYSIS / no no not now if I start thinking I'll freeze up / DISENGAGE TARGET FROM "AUDIO_DEVICE" / yes, ok, what then / :ERROR: ROUTINES MATCHING SEARCH CRITERIA "iPhone game" ++ "train game" boolean == FALSE / no dammit no oh shit did she just notice me looking at her can't stare it's creepy / PROBABILITY HIGH <Women have an intuitive sense about whether a man is interested in them or not. She likely notices.> / she keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eye but whenever I try to make eye contact she looks away why / WHO CARES YOU JACKASS? LOGIC DICTATES "APPROACH" AS KEY PROGRAM DO IT NOW / but I can't! /NOW. NOW BEFORE SHE LEAVES, YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN / I need a push! / PUSH YOURSELF / come on, damn, damn, damn, damn, she knows I'm thinking about approaching her, now, she keeps -

Ding! The doors open. She glances in my direction one last time, walks out, and disappears. I slump in my seat, face flushed with anger and disappointment, and return to my apartment in a seething rage. Almost choking on my own fury, I take some anti-anxiety pills to ward off the inevitable anxiety attack.

I think if I had been with a wingman I would have done it, because he would have noticed my distress and egged me on. Yeah, that having a wingman to egg you on is good advice. Wish I had one, but it's too late now, and I seriously doubt I'll ever find one... not that I blame others for not wanting to be one...

I don't think pain is a very good motivator, at least not for me. Rewards are the only thing I respond to... the pain of not approaching outweighs any other physical pain - and I knew what was coming but I did it anyway. For all I know she was giving me IOIs cause I'm notoriously bad at reading them to the point where other people comment on it... but I'm starting to improve - man I keep rambling, sorry, probably going to have more people flip out at me...

guess there's one thing to learn: if I ever see this girl again, or any girl like that, I'm not going to hold back - now just gotta figure out how... hmmm.. okay that's all.
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