[SnowHugger]

Hey guys,

I've been dating a girl a for 4 months, shes cool and I like her. Also Ukrainian so that's a plus.

There's a few questions that I keep asking myself and have a hard time figuring out..

How do I develop a stronger bond to keep taking everything to the next level? I don't want to stagnate or settle within the relationship.

[kaotic]

This belongs in the newbie thread.

She's cool and you like doesn't sound like much to go on, we need more details.

How old is she?
How'd you meet her ?
Do you know her notch count ?
Is this a woman you look at as a potential long term partner ?
Married before or had kids ?

We need details like that.

It doesn't sound like there's much a bond if you're coming onto a forum asking for suggestions on how to create one.

It sounds like your relationship is stagnating and you might be getting bored.

[SnowHugger]

Shes 21.
Met her through daygame.
Notch count is 1.
Yes.
Never been married.

Asking how to continously keep building and solidifying our bond. I'm looking for ideas.

Here's what we do together;
Cook
Bang
Swing Dance
Shower
Bang
Random adventures
Netflix and chill
Random arts and crafts
Etc

It's also not as simple as "its cool and I like her". That's my tldr. I'll edit it later after work.

[Silver_Tube]

Start getting weird sexually
fuck her ass, tie her up, make her wear something you get her, finger her in the theater etc.

Do things you haven't done together yet
MMA show, golfing range, shooting range, fishing boat, hiking trail, casino whatever you feel like.

Squeeze out the info you don't know about her yet

Given enough time the stagnation is inevitable, she's going to run out of stories and keep rehashing the one about her cat or some other bullshit, you'll tune it out and then she'll get mad that you aren't paying attention. For the most part girls aren't very interesting people and rely on dudes to bring interest to their lives. If she really likes you then she'll go along with whatever you feel like doing. It is important to know that she likes you enough to endure the routine once the novelty wears off. Ideally you find that out before the LTR starts. Sometimes you just want to sit down and read a book or something and you don't want to be with somebody that needs to be entertained all the time.

[1026]

Ever considered heroine?

That'll shake things up.

Lol, on a serious note all things stale out bro.

Even 21 year old girlfriends with a notch count of 1.

Try new things with her & bang the shit out her.

Chances are it won't last, so get your pound of pussy, while the getting's good.

Just keeping it real fam.

[kaotic]

This stuck out to me:

Quote:

Asking how to continously keep building and solidifying our bond. I'm looking for ideas.

I think the mindset should be, what is she doing to build and solidify her relationship with you ?

It sounds like you're the one looking to build things up, but what has she done to help you out.

Does she bring value to your life, or is she just something fun and young ?

Low notch count, good sex, and a fun time does necessarily mean she's good for an LTR.

Now I've never met, dated, or banged a Ukranian girl, but the forum raves about Eastern European girls.

So take my questions with a grain of salt and just keep them as an open minded question.

[Beyond Borders]

Bonding is not your problem.

Read "The Female Brain." Women are bonding machines and need no prompting; they are quite literally designed for it, from the structures of their brains to the chemicals surging through their bodies to the evolutionary impulses ingrained into their rawest reflexes.

If she was fully into you, the bonding would therefore be completely natural and you wouldn't be able to stop it if you tried. Even if you didn't feel it or want it, she would conjure it in her imagination...

Focus on yourself.

Have goals. Your own interests and hobbies. Your own friends.

Continue to improve and reach.

The minute your focus sets on her or your relationship moreso than on your own path in life is the minute you begin to lose her attention and respect.

If she ever tells you she wants different, take it with the world's largest grain of salt. She doesn't know any better anyhow.

You're a man. It's your job to lead. Forge your own path in life and bring her along for the ride.

From there, she'll do the bonding for you.

[SnowHugger]

Thanks. This is pretty much what I was looking for.

She's completely in love. I was just losing focus for a bit and realized that I started drifting. Needed to be real with you guys and get my shit together.

[Beyond Borders]

Even if she's in love, my advice still stands.

Here's a common scenario.

Guy meets girl and they really dig each other, they bang, and they end up in a relationship. She's totally sprung on him.

Time passes and he really starts to like her and begins to focus on her and the relationship, at the expense of his friends, his alone time, and his goals. She mysteriously distances herself and he feels her slipping away.

Guy gets fed up and goes back to focusing on his own shit (or they break up). Or she dumps him and after a period of pining, he collects himself and becomes a stone cold killer again...almost out of spite.

Girl has a suddenly rekindled interest.

Guy jumps back in headfirst, excited by her newfound passion. Suddenly girl seems to lose interest and grows distant again.

I went through this same scenario so many times as a youngster. Saw it happen with my buddies and other men over and over again - most other men never catch on to the pattern, even as adults.

Fortunately it's all very predictable.

If you want her to bond, keep your eye on what you're doing and let her womanly nature handle the rest.

[Robert Plant]

^^^
So basically discipline yourself to behave like you're not attached even if mentally you are.

Nice, I agree 100% and have gotten decently good at this. There are some downsides however, if you go too hard it can become difficult to connect on a deep, genuine level. So, even when gaming it is important to be very honest to yourself. If you really like one woman, admit it to yourself. At the same time, try to see her as a very real and flawed person.

[Beyond Borders]

(01-22-2016 12:19 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  

^^^
So basically discipline yourself to behave like you're not attached even if mentally you are.

Nice, I agree 100% and have gotten decently good at this. There are some downsides however, if you go too hard it can become difficult to connect on a deep, genuine level. So, even when gaming it is important to be very honest to yourself. If you really like one woman, admit it to yourself. At the same time, try to see her as a very real and flawed person.

Sort of. That's tinkering these dynamics on the basic level and will get the same effect...short term.

But long term, you can be attached and even be honest you have strong feelings about her. If she's a long-term or your wife, in fact, she needs to be confident in your bond and know you are committed. Women have to know they can depend on you, and as I've mentioned before, there's a certain point where faking you're not invested comes across more try-hard than being straight up and thus becomes self-defeating.

If they can't, there's no stability in what you provide, which works on it's own level but will always be dysfunctional.

My point wasn't necessarily to feign indifference but that your attention needs to have other things to rest on besides just her. A man should be focused outward, looking to conquer the world (or his small corner of it), while his woman scurries around the nest or sits at his side.

Yes, give her your full attention at times and be sincere in your relationship together, but if she becomes the center of your universe, you seem weak and incapable to her, and the draw disappears.

Due to the emotional nature of women, any bond dissolves with it. Women may have the legal power in a relationship in the West, but it's the man's pschological power that holds the thing together.

In my opinion.

[XXL]

Grow together that's how

[General Stalin]

(01-21-2016 11:12 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Even if she's in love, my advice still stands.

Here's a common scenario.

Guy meets girl and they really dig each other, they bang, and they end up in a relationship. She's totally sprung on him.

Time passes and he really starts to like her and begins to focus on her and the relationship, at the expense of his friends, his alone time, and his goals. She mysteriously distances herself and he feels her slipping away.

Guy gets fed up and goes back to focusing on his own shit (or they break up). Or she dumps him and after a period of pining, he collects himself and becomes a stone cold killer again...almost out of spite.

Girl has a suddenly rekindled interest.

Guy jumps back in headfirst, excited by her newfound passion. Suddenly girl seems to lose interest and grows distant again.

I went through this same scenario so many times as a youngster. Saw it happen with my buddies and other men over and over again - most other men never catch on to the pattern, even as adults.

Fortunately it's all very predictable.

If you want her to bond, keep your eye on what you're doing and let her womanly nature handle the rest.

Can't seem to find a suitable gif for when you realize you are reading something about your own life.