[SomeFcksGiven]

I'm writing this post with my jaw still on the floor and my mind spinning in utter disbelief.

I've been gaming this girl (9 on my scale, early twenties, tight body.. the works). During an early interaction, she tells me she just broke up with her boyfriend but still has feelings for him, blah blah blah. I don't care, still want to hit it.

I get her back to my place one night, have a few drinks, and secure multiple bangs. We keep hanging out, doing fun shit together, and lots of amazing sex. I'm using all the proven tenets of game to keep her coming back for more (push/pull, aloofness, feigning a little vulnerability at times, humor, etc). I'm cool, confident, and calibrated. This goes on for a few weeks. Over the course of everything she still brings up her ex boyfriend a lot. It's obvious she misses him.

Every time she leaves, I'm always thinking to myself, "who is this cat that has her hooked so completely, that she can't take her mind off of him? He must have some serious alpha qualities on a level that I have not yet shown her. I have work to do." In a sense, I'm imagining Chad Thundercock is my rival in this situation. He has to be a serious badass to have a girl this hot so completely hooked on him. Makes sense right?

Recently I found out who this guy is, and the feeling I had is almost indescribable. It was like having the wind knocked out of me and a complete mind fuck boiling over with denial all at the same time.



I know this guy. I've had beers with him. I've met him at house parties. I've coached him at the bar when he was too nervous to approach a 7, literally shaking from anxiety. He's not fit. He's a scrawny, socially awkward beta in every sense of the word.

Knowing everything I've learned about women, especially very attractive women, and my SMV compared to his, I can't process how something like this is possible.

Is everything I've learned about game, alpha vs beta, the allure of "bad boys" to attractive women, etc. being called into question from this experience? I refuse to believe that. Something else has to be in play here..

What am I not seeing?

Edit: Realizing that this may sound far-fetched, I felt like I should say that this is NOT a troll post

[germanico]

Quote:

I get her back to my place one night, have a few drinks, and secure multiple bangs. We keep hanging out, doing fun shit together, and lots of amazing sex. I'm using all the proven tenets of game to keep her coming back for more (push/pull, aloofness, feigning a little vulnerability at times, humor, etc). I'm cool, confident, and calibrated. This goes on for a few weeks. Over the course of everything she still brings up her ex boyfriend a lot.

He is giving her the ONE thing you are not. Do you see it now?

[SomeFcksGiven]

That occurred to me, but how could I play this? General game theory is the girl should always be the one who tries to advance the relationship. If I started throwing out relationship bait wouldn't I be setting myself up for disqualification?

[Alexandrian]

I have a theory that modern western women need to have both alpha and beta males around them to be happy. Your alphaness convinced her to be fucked by you, but she misses the little beta worshipper that gives her attention all the time.

[Fmc]

I had the same experience before. Did you get more information?

[262]

She's talking about him with you that way because she wants you to GF her up, regardless of who he actually is.

That or she just wants to see if she can shake your frame by pointing to a guy who is obviously lesser than you and saying he is somehow better than you.

Both are irrelevant though. What's relevant is - what do you want?

[WeekendCasanova]

Needy beta-seeking attention leeches. It's nothing new.

[Sebastian]

You are missing the big picture. Being able to walk around the bars/streets hitting on girls by running mouth is not everything. That's not part of being a real man.

When I was a lot younger, I thought those 'confident' bros were cool. (I am sure they are still cool in college parties)

He might come off as shy or dorky but who knows how he acts around her, who knows if she is more into guys with knowledge who can about shakespeare than some bros running shits through their mouth.

As you get older, you will realize those Alpha/Beta thing is pretty absurd.

[fucksong]

Bro, at some point you gotta turn "game" off and actually connect with the girl. Or rather, you gotta internalize the qualities of "game" so that you're not actively gaming but it's just who you are. If this chick is truly a 9, she's getting offered dick all the fucking time. By other dudes who also have "game" so she's intuitive as hell,by MILLIONS.

To you, this dude might be a beta dweeb but to her, he maybe provides emotional security, connection, ability to emote or maybe he has a 10" cock. Who knows?

As someone else mentioned

"WHAT DO YOU WANT? "

[XXL]

(01-17-2016 04:15 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

Knowing everything I've learned about women, especially very attractive women, and my SMV compared to his, I can't process how something like this is possible.

Is everything I've learned about game, alpha vs beta, the allure of "bad boys" to attractive women, etc. being called into question from this experience? I refuse to believe that. Something else has to be in play here..

What am I not seeing?

You're not seeing that those theories you read about are just theories and real life is different. Map is not a territory kind of thing.

I'm guessing that they developed strong emotional connection and that's the reason they were so close. Dude, you can be the most confident, charismatic guy out there and then some other regular guy who wants the same girl agrees to help her with something really important or urgent [to her] and now she's all over him [she knows she can count on him] and forgets about you rationalizing that you only want one thing. In short, she saw something in him she didn't get from you. He satisfied her needs better. So forget theories.. your eyes might hurt cause you've never used them.

I remember how I lost a girl to a total shy guy who was less attractive [objectively] in every way possible. Still she chose him simply because he was her type. Oops. Welcome to real world ; )

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Did you ever think he might be connecting with her on a level you don't, and that might have bonded her to him?

Back in college (yes, another college story from me, people!) I wound up unexpectedly dating a girl who had acted on Broadway and who a lot of guys liked. This was not someone who anyone would have ever placed me with. She was a seriously snobby Jewish princess with a killer body -- the kind you assumed dated older men. But...I was a musician and we bonded over music.

She had a background in theater and loved to sing. I had a massive record collection and was the music writer for the college newspaper. I was into old jazz and Frank Sinatra and there is a big crossover between that and theater music, so I was pretty much the only (straight) guy who knew the old songs she loved.

She would come to my dorm room to listen to music and when she found I had guitar there, she'd sing while I played. Then we started to meet in the piano rooms and do ridiculous renditions of old standards.

This might sound like "so what?" but this was how I -- unwittingly -- ended up dating her. What she told me was that she felt most college guys were superficial and just saw her as "a piece of ass" (her exact words), while I had some "culture" since I knew so much about music and the arts.

So my advice is to search this guy's place for a guitar...or learn to play one and namedrop the titles of obscure old tunes real fast. Hahahaha.

Seriously, though, if it looks like a mismatch, my guess is there is something like my story going on. I've seen this happen in subcultures like Renaissance Festivals and the heavy metal scene too.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

A hot girl is your fuck-buddy while someone else is giving her attention and chasing her, and you're complaining? You're right, it is mindblowing...

[Barron]

(01-17-2016 09:09 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

A hot girl is your fuck-buddy while someone else is giving her attention and chasing her, and you're complaining? You're right, it is mindblowing...

This^^
Do you have any idea the depravity I would subject a girl like this to before sending her back to her beta who kisses her goodnight on the forehead?

[Cobra]

(01-17-2016 08:53 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(01-17-2016 04:15 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

Knowing everything I've learned about women, especially very attractive women, and my SMV compared to his, I can't process how something like this is possible.

Is everything I've learned about game, alpha vs beta, the allure of "bad boys" to attractive women, etc. being called into question from this experience? I refuse to believe that. Something else has to be in play here..

What am I not seeing?

You're not seeing that those theories you read about are just theories and real life is different. Map is not a territory kind of thing.

I'm guessing that they developed strong emotional connection and that's the reason they were so close. Dude, you can be the most confident, charismatic guy out there and then some other regular guy who wants the same girl agrees to help her with something really important or urgent [to her] and now she's all over him [she knows she can count on him] and forgets about you rationalizing that you only want one thing. In short, she saw something in him she didn't get from you. He satisfied her needs better. So forget theories.. your eyes might hurt cause you've never used them.

I remember how I lost a girl to a total shy guy who was less attractive [objectively] in every way possible. Still she chose him simply because he was her type. Oops. Welcome to real world ; )

Damn you XXL. You took the words out of my mouth.

Again, forum theories vs. Real life. OP, be cautious about what you read about alpha vs. Beta in the manosphere. Connecting with another human being can be done by betas and alphas. Meaning the fact that he's beta, doesn't mean he can't build connections with other human beings. This is why some of the best naturals I know are beta. These guys can't approach worth a damn but if I ever introduce a girl to them, their demeanor will sell itself to the girl. You don't need to be alpha to have charisma in some way shape or form.

Now keep in mind, that this guy's success in replicating this randomly by cold approaching will be highly dismal.

I'm sure some guys here have a way to break a girl out of this. It's got to be a different kind of game. I'm certainly not good at it. I just know the signs and why it happens.

[robreke]

(01-17-2016 04:15 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

I'm writing this post with my jaw still on the floor and my mind spinning in utter disbelief.

I've been gaming this girl (9 on my scale, early twenties, tight body.. the works). During an early interaction, she tells me she just broke up with her boyfriend but still has feelings for him, blah blah blah. I don't care, still want to hit it.

I get her back to my place one night, have a few drinks, and secure multiple bangs. We keep hanging out, doing fun shit together, and lots of amazing sex. I'm using all the proven tenets of game to keep her coming back for more (push/pull, aloofness, feigning a little vulnerability at times, humor, etc). I'm cool, confident, and calibrated. This goes on for a few weeks. Over the course of everything she still brings up her ex boyfriend a lot. It's obvious she misses him.

Every time she leaves, I'm always thinking to myself, "who is this cat that has her hooked so completely, that she can't take her mind off of him? He must have some serious alpha qualities on a level that I have not yet shown her. I have work to do." In a sense, I'm imagining Chad Thundercock is my rival in this situation. He has to be a serious badass to have a girl this hot so completely hooked on him. Makes sense right?

Recently I found out who this guy is, and the feeling I had is almost indescribable. It was like having the wind knocked out of me and a complete mind fuck boiling over with denial all at the same time.



I know this guy. I've had beers with him. I've met him at house parties. I've coached him at the bar when he was too nervous to approach a 7, literally shaking from anxiety. He's not fit. He's a scrawny, socially awkward beta in every sense of the word.

Knowing everything I've learned about women, especially very attractive women, and my SMV compared to his, I can't process how something like this is possible.

Is everything I've learned about game, alpha vs beta, the allure of "bad boys" to attractive women, etc. being called into question from this experience? I refuse to believe that. Something else has to be in play here..

What am I not seeing?

Edit: Realizing that this may sound far-fetched, I felt like I should say that this is NOT a troll post

How long did they go out before they broke up?

It sounds like they have a history. So, she will have more of an emotional connection with him than with you. More history.

You and her, at this point just may have a mostly physical connection.

Women are emotional creatures.

[topdog]

Related:

Not all women of the world want an alpha male
http://www.rooshv.com/not-all-women-of-t...alpha-male

[Dantes]

Reminds me of the Tom Petty song, "Even the losers get lucky sometimes".

All kidding aside, this is interesting on a few levels.

Despite all the hypergamy of our age, girls still want to connect on an emotional level. This is perhaps even more true for the exceptionally beautiful girls out there. A true 9 has unlimited choice for men with status, looks, and money. However, connection is elusive for all of us and something we all seek. If we are lucky enough to find this, we don't relinquish it easily.

Game theory will only take you so far. You can't use it to fundamentally understand all facets of human interaction. When we rely solely on theory, we predispose ourselves to being one dimensional and contrived.

You did a lot right in getting a beautiful girl in bed, but it is going to take a connection to keep her there.

[General Stalin]

XXL and DOBA said it best.

As has been repeated here countless times: women are fickle.

The teachings of game are largely anecdotal and empirical from players' personal experiences and observations. Most men have had the same or very similar experiences, observations, and outcomes from using the same methods. In order to be as objective and logical at approaching game as possible, we use majority rule and generalizations. The only issue with this is when looking under a microscope and talking about individual women. NAWALT and all that. Specific women will often times want specific things and there is no true catch-all like "just be alpha and all girls will want you."

You can never account for how a particular girl was raised, what her passed experiences are, and what her particular tastes are. Like I said, we speak in generalizations to speak generally about what works most of the time on most girls. Individual results may vary.

[Captain Gh]

You are in the player's conundrum my friend!! When you get the Bang with a great one, your mind start wondering about how a relationship with her would be. And then when you're in a relationship, you want to Bang left and right!! Guarantee that girl can smell the player vibe on you, and said to herself that she'll have fun with you, but No No No for you being a boyfriend! She's still a women that enjoys the power she has over a Beta.

Women are in a sad state because they run around with Betas all the time, but have no clue that it is the very thing making them angry, especially in young women! Squeeze a few Bangs while practicing some new moves & position before she goes back to her BF, because she will. I made a chick spend 40 minutes on my Dick cause I knew it was the last time since it was the first time she was begging me to cum quick so that she stopped getting pounded with not regards! Recognized the pattern right there and knew it was it, so I practiced what I felt I was lacking in sex on her !!

[RatInTheWoods]

You can bang a girl with game, but to have a quality LTR you need the right mix of alpha and beta traits.

[XXL]

OP, the real issue here is not that some beta got the girl, it's that you misunderstand what alpha means. Think about it.

[SomeFcksGiven]

In my haste to get this post up, I inadvertently left out some crucial parts of the story.

In the time we were together, I did have thoughts of transitioning into an LTR with her. 2 things kept me from approaching the subject:

1. Time and again, the reality of the need for her to be the one to "define the relationship" has proven true. Any time I tried to do so, I've fallen flat on my face.

2. Hell no was I going to have the "relationship" talk with her while she's still obviously pining over her ex beta

So yeah, I did want to pursue a relationship when my spidey sense told me she was ready. That gut feeling never materialized.

That was my first oversight from the original post. The other is the real kick in the nuts: She stopped hanging out with me and got back together with the scrawny beta.

I have no idea what her connection is with him. I know she mentioned he was her boyfriend for a few years, so they had to develop a history and connect on some level during that time. Maybe I didn't have enough time during those few weeks to connect with her the way he did. Or it could be that she was still so attached to him, that any connection we could have built was inoculated against.

[SomeFcksGiven]

(01-17-2016 09:09 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

A hot girl is your fuck-buddy while someone else is giving her attention and chasing her, and you're complaining? You're right, it is mindblowing...

If my post came across as complaining, that wasn't the intent. Dumbfounded shock and curiosity was what I was trying to convey

[SomeFcksGiven]

(01-17-2016 04:21 PM)XXL Wrote:  

OP, the real issue here is not that some beta got the girl, it's that you misunderstand what alpha means. Think about it.

Can you elaborate? I'm not sure what you mean. Unless you're referring to the need to develop a real connection to a girl and putting "game" aside. That I get.

[Off The Reservation]

Pedestal-ization (OP to the "9")

Exaggeration (Beta qualities of the other guy)

And perhaps she never stopped seeing the other guy.

From your other post:

(10-31-2015 11:14 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

Believe me I didn't want to go there (bringing up her ex). Every time she'd hang out with me she was constantly bringing him up in the conversation. I'd usually just make a cheeky quip about it and change the subject.

I've been at this long enough to know that it's not a good idea to talk about ex's, yours or hers. After the 100th time she brought him up I decided to play along and qualify her. It wasn't the best idea, but I was tired of hearing her constantly talk about him.