[Barron]

I'm assuming the girl knows you guys are friends?
It's interesting that you place no accountability on her, as if she has no choice in seeing your friend or not...

If things ended badly between you guys then she is most likely seeing him as a response tactic to get under your skin.

The absolute best thing you could do is show that you don't give her a second thought. Talk about other girls around your friend, talk about how you fuck them, how they suck you off, anal, etc., then be sure to talk about what you did with your ex in the same category. If he gets pissed its his problem, you're not the loser that catches feels for girls of your friends.

Make sure she knows that you haven't thought about her and are constantly out on the prowl (dread game) and see how long their "relationship" lasts before you hear from her. Whatever you do, DO NOT display any hint that them being together bothers you. That is total scarcity mentality and above all it is exactly what she wants.

[Lex S.]

(01-12-2016 02:07 AM)NomadofEU Wrote:  

I'm assuming the girl knows you guys are friends?
It's interesting that you place no accountability on her, as if she has no choice in seeing your friend or not...

If things ended badly between you guys then she is most likely seeing him as a response tactic to get under your skin.

The absolute best thing you could do is show that you don't give her a second thought. Talk about other girls around your friend, talk about how you fuck them, how they suck you off, anal, etc., then be sure to talk about what you did with your ex in the same category. If he gets pissed its his problem, you're not the loser that catches feels for girls of your friends.

Make sure she knows that you haven't thought about her and are constantly out on the prowl (dread game) and see how long their "relationship" lasts before you hear from her. Whatever you do, DO NOT display any hint that them being together bothers you. That is total scarcity mentality and above all it is exactly what she wants.

Yeah, he's seen me hit on and talk to other girls since things went sour with the girl in the OP. This weekend we were at a party where some models came through and I went up to them to talk to them, obviously flirting with them. When I told him I was hoping to go home with one of them, he casually mentioned HE wasn't gonna hit on them, inferring that he was all about his one princess.

When we initially talked about his feelings for her I explained that I had to unfriend her from social media and delete her number - My explanation was that things didn't work out and it sucks, but I had to do it to move on and I'm not mad at her. I stayed as calm as I could while also being firm about my discomfort of him swooping in. But still, I didn't yell, curse, or shit talk either of them. I can't stand drama, and showing emotion would've only escalated things.

[Lex S.]

So here's a 4 week update - I've maintained no contact with the girl in the OP and have been hitting on new girls and had some dates. I still have to talk to the guy almost every day but have kept things cordial and business-related.

Last week, though, I got set off. He casually mentioned he might be off the market soon. As far as I know the girl from the OP is the only girl he's been talking to or pursuing. So there's a chance they might be dating. But he's also shown he has no semblance or game or understanding signal cues, so it could still be he's just chatting with her like an orbiter and thinking she wants him.

Yesterday he also mentioned he was texting about the plot of a movie with the ex of a good friend of his, even though the break-up was nasty as hell and fucked his friend up (I sort of know these two and have met them). I also remembered that his last long-term relationship was with a girl another friend of his had been with, even though once again that girl and that friend had a messy break-up. He's definitely thirsty and not against throwing close male friends under the bus for even the slightest whiff of pussy.

I'm seeing him in a social function tomorrow where beer will be flowing, and when he's drunk he doesn't shut up. I guarantee he'll talk about what's going on with the girl in the OP. I've since adopted a zen attitude towards it - Things didn't work out with the girl and I for a reason, and if she gets with my friend then so be it.

[Lex S.]

Also, a few people have also asked why I'm not mad at the girl - In a sense I am, but I don't want to waste any more mental energy on her than I have to. I'm more disappointed in my friend for actively wanting to go against my wishes to get with a girl, especially one who I was really into but crashed and burned and left a bad taste in my mouth. Between this and the past times he's sided with girls over good friends of his I can only assume he's a bitch that you can't trust in situations like this. It sucks, but I'll have to be more careful around him.

[General Stalin]

From your explanation this cat sounds like a scumbag. He's not your friend. If you work with him then keep things business but phase him out of your social life. That's my recommendation.

Good on you for moving on and getting new girls. Stick with that and don't let bottom feeders drag you down.

[puckerman]

Don't worry about it.

[1026]

When you don't have Game.
There are levels one has to stoop to in order to have a shot at laying.

This is one of them.

[Fortis]

I've been saying this shit for years:

The more variables you introduce into a situation the more fucked up you make the situation. This applies to sales, game, finances, family, friends. It's one of the few things I think is virtually universal.

Sure, she's a hot slut you've been imagining railing for a good while--but your boy's the one hitting that.

They break up.

Now's your chance.

DO.NOT.DO.IT.

I have a few friends I'm fortunate enough to have known for over 10 years. I'm a lucky bastard, I know. Even if one of them split with his girlfriend and I have every right to smash that hoe because he isn't thinking about her I don't think it's worth compromising (as a possible consequence) that friendship.

Even if a dude says "hey bro, I don't care. You can fuck her." We all know that in his heart of hearts he will be weirded out at some level. I know I would if one of my boys did that. To me, that means he was eyeing my girl the entire time. I'm not saying he was going to make a move on her, but the potential was there.

Now I'm not some blue pill faggot who thinks guys can just shut off their sex drive, but if I'm truly friends with a guy then I won't put myself in a situation where I have the ability to smash one of his exes. Such complications and transgressions can always come back to haunt you and may cast doubt on the future of your friendship with that guy.

As many of us know, a good friendship is really hard to come by. It's hard to appreciate that when you're 21 and you're in college and new opportunities to meet cool people are foisted upon you daily by college life. Post-college life you really start count who your friends are and who was just paying lip service to the idea of friendship.

That's why when my friend splits with a chick I do my best to minimize any and all contact with her. Some girls will even actively hunt an exes friends to try and hurt him (stupid chick logic) but it can do damage if you don't see it for what it is.

[Mujeriego]

OP why are you sweating a dude cleaning up your scraps? Any chick you've banged that's not a virgin could be considered scraps of another man. Stop focusing on the little shit and enjoy yourself.

[Lex S.]

So my suspicions were correct - At the function last night he told me he was seeing her. He also said she had no hard feelings towards me. I told him that I was fine with it, and whatever happens happens. He was seeing her anyway, it's not like me protesting it would do anything. I was around him for a while and everything was fine and civil.

Then about 2 hours in this girl """randomly""" shows up at the bar this event was at ("So weird, I had no clue she was coming here!" he said to all of us, even though he obviously invited her). She walked by me as she entered and looked at me, and being cordial I said hello. She just nodded and walked on by. I went outside for a smoke about 15 minutes later and she was out there, then she went inside when she saw me (No hard feelings, my ass). Shit was getting awkward, so after another drink I left early with a buddy of mine and we did our own thing.

On the bright side, I can't see them working out based on what I know about game. If I was needy and had one-itis then he has SUPER one-itis, and he's been very vocal about how she's his special snowflake. He's also been a major cockblock to himself and others in the past based on his personality alone, and I've personally seen his neediness implode tons of situations with girls he was seeing. As 1026 said, this guy has no game, and without game nothing can help you when it comes to women.

Who knew that one of the best flings I ever had could've ended up with so much drama.

[Lex S.]

(02-06-2016 11:23 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

I've been saying this shit for years:

The more variables you introduce into a situation the more fucked up you make the situation. This applies to sales, game, finances, family, friends. It's one of the few things I think is virtually universal.

Sure, she's a hot slut you've been imagining railing for a good while--but your boy's the one hitting that.

They break up.

Now's your chance.

DO.NOT.DO.IT.

I have a few friends I'm fortunate enough to have known for over 10 years. I'm a lucky bastard, I know. Even if one of them split with his girlfriend and I have every right to smash that hoe because he isn't thinking about her I don't think it's worth compromising (as a possible consequence) that friendship.

Even if a dude says "hey bro, I don't care. You can fuck her." We all know that in his heart of hearts he will be weirded out at some level. I know I would if one of my boys did that. To me, that means he was eyeing my girl the entire time. I'm not saying he was going to make a move on her, but the potential was there.

Now I'm not some blue pill faggot who thinks guys can just shut off their sex drive, but if I'm truly friends with a guy then I won't put myself in a situation where I have the ability to smash one of his exes. Such complications and transgressions can always come back to haunt you and may cast doubt on the future of your friendship with that guy.

As many of us know, a good friendship is really hard to come by. It's hard to appreciate that when you're 21 and you're in college and new opportunities to meet cool people are foisted upon you daily by college life. Post-college life you really start count who your friends are and who was just paying lip service to the idea of friendship.

That's why when my friend splits with a chick I do my best to minimize any and all contact with her. Some girls will even actively hunt an exes friends to try and hurt him (stupid chick logic) but it can do damage if you don't see it for what it is.

THIS to everything. I've rarely ever dated inside my social circle because I know it can cause drama. Not knowing of this girl's existence prior to meeting her made it feel like she was a stranger, but in actuality we had so many mutual friends. This "strangers" aspect is actually my favorite part about online dating - These girls are strangers, you have no ties to them, and if shit doesn't work out you never have to see them or hear from them again.

I also agree about the level of contact you should have with a friend's girl. I get along well with all my friend's significant others and have no issues with them, but I never see them or talk to them unless they're with my friends. I have no reason to. And if they split up then I have no reason to contact them AT ALL. It always weirded me out when a guy would get really close to his buddy's girl or keep in touch with her after they split.

And yeah, this chick's damaged goods. Even if things end between them today I wouldn't take her back. I'll admit that things were great when we were together and that I wanted to get back with her after she called it off. But this girl has given me more drama since she's been out of the picture than she ever did when she was in it and she's not worth the trouble - My life would be so much simpler if she just wasn't in it at all. And imagine if we got back together and dated for a couple years and then split? That would be even worse than anything going on now.

And an update - The dude texted me last night after I split about meeting up somewhere else, but I ignored it. Now he just sent me a long text asking if I got laid last night and where I went because he didn't hear from me. The way it was formatted was so awkward, it wasn't like his usual texts. I could tell he was trying to have an old sex life talk like we used to have after every weekend but didn't know how to word it. Like you mentioned, even if a guy says it's cool for a friend to date his ex he'll still be weirded out. And when this guy was talking about her last night he was careful with his words because he didn't want to upset me. But the simple fact that both of us had to work to make things not sound weird means things are weird.