Thanks for the additions, CleanSlate.
Quote: (01-07-2016 03:19 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:
A common theme in these snippets above is to sit back and not react when she is showing affection. This is interesting to me from a game/LTR perspective. When I watch couples go about their day, I've also observed that the person who shows less affection usually is the one who has more power in their relationship.
When I was younger and totally unaware of game, I used to wonder why some men would not return their women's affection. I'd watch women stroking, kissing, and leaning into their men, while these men would just sit back with a bored expression on their faces.
I used to think, "why isn't he hugging and kissing her back? He has a hot girl all over him!" Now I understand what these men were doing.
This exactly.
I mean, I don't completely starve women of affection. I cuddle in bed, especially while sleeping, and I'll grab a girl and just pull her to me to plant one on her as a "reward," but yeah, in most scenarios I leave the affection to her so that it is a bit novel when I do do it.
It's good to be tender at times, but there's a lot of power in making her come to you as much as you can. The fact that I'm choosy about my touching really makes them light up in those times when I just reach out and grab them and pull me to (the pulling to instead of going to is very signficant also).
I think there is something especially powerful about resisting those public displays of affection, especially. Your affection becomes something you do behind closed doors - almost like "your little secret" (even if it's no big secret). The home becomes this private space. You're a man and not running around cuddling in front of anyone, but behind your doors she gets this other side of you that others don't get, at least to a degree.
I do this in the home often, too, but it's a different dynamic. I still make her touch me more than the other way around, but I'm less stingy about it.
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In one extreme example, I was walking on a bridge that looked over an outdoor restaurant with tables by the waterfront. I saw a middle aged woman holding her man's dick (fully clothed) with one hand. In public and in broad daylight! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. And yes, the man was completely aloof like it was nothing.
Great example. I do that too. I've made it a game with girls before where I completely pretend I'm obvlivious to what they're doing, though my dick obviously shows otherwise, given that I'm standing at full salute.
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Enjoying these staring contests with them pinays, aren't we? It just tickles me every time pinays tells me they're really "shy", yet they are the most brazen with their staring contests I've ever seen.
Interesting observation. I hadn't noticed it as something more common here. I do this everywhere.
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An effective way to transmit sexual messages non-verbally through staring is to angle your head down a bit, so your eyes will be slightly above your vision level. To visualize this, imagine a horizontal line across your field of vision parallel to the ground. Then slightly lower your head and look up about 20 degrees above that "imaginary" line.
Don't hold your head high with your nose up and stare "down" at her - that's a "haughty" stare. Not a sexual stare.
For example...
The first look is the one you want to use. See how he's angling his head down and looking up about 20-30 degrees above the horizontal center line of his vision.
The second one fails to send a sexual message because he appears to "look down" on the person he's looking at. His eyes are looking just below his imaginary horizontal line of vision.
That was a great description.
That Tom Cruise photo is a solid example, though the look I'm talking about is a tad more soft and almost sly - more playful and/or suggestive. His is a bit more serious.
As you can tell by the changing descriptions, it varies depending on what I'm trying to convey, but for the most part mine is warmer and it's almost like we've got a secret between us.
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Damn. I'm hopelessly ticklish.
Cast out thy weakness, my friend.
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- Checking your messages in front of a woman holds a lot of power too. I almost hate to do it because we talk about how much we hate seeing women always on their phones, but I've noticed that if I check my Viber or texts in front of a chick, she gets this look of extreme insecurity on her face.
That's a bit tricky, I can imagine. Do you shield your phone from her line of eye sight so she doesn't actually see the messages between you and another girl? I wouldn't want her to see messages like "I miss you baby" or "are we still meeting tomorrow? I'll bring my change of clothes so I can sleep with you". So I'm curious about what is it that you do exactly.
I'll angle the screen away from her if she's trying to look. It depends on the nature of the message, but generally I try not to open it if she's in a position to look right at it. Unless I'm drunk (though I quit drinking again).
For a while I hadn't bothered to reset my Viber settings, so every time I'd get a message, a preview would pop up and often it'd be some sweet message from a girl. One time while my date was holding my phone checking out a photo. haha
I don't care so much if they see some girl sending me some affectionate message, but I'd rather leave it to her imagination what I'm texting in return. Anything else can lead to disharmony and too much jealousy.
I mean, I try not to overthink it too much. At this stage of the game, I'm not seeing anyone seriously, and they know that, so I don't explain myself even when they want me to. It's important to me they know the scoop.
By the way, complete aside but I was reminded by the mention of the date checking out my photo - a funny prank for Western girls who can take it. When she's not looking, grab her phone and stick it down your pants to snap a shot of your ballsack. Hilarious move in an American bar. I'm not even packing much and I used to pull this off like gangbusters.
Proceed with caution because not my fault if she slaps you.
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- Unapologetically checking out a woman's ass in front of a girl. I do try to use this a little sparingly because it can spoil a good night in some instances, but I don't shy away from it either.
I try to be discreet with this. But when she catches me doing it, it really doesn't go over well.
haha Yeah, that can happen. As I said, I avoid it sometimes, but when I do, for me I just am completely unapologetic about it, and if she makes a fuss, I ignore it and let the moment pass. If she carries the pouty mood on, I pretend it's not even happening. Eventually she stops making a fuss.
It's just a look. Shrug your shoulders and smile. Slap her on the ass. Put your arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a quick squeeze, as if to say, "I may be looking at that, but I'm still with you, Babe." Ignore her reaction completely.
It depends on the relationship and the girl, I suppose.
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Most of all, I try to invite them into my personal space under the (non)pretense of helping me understand what they're saying.
Yup, I do that too. Very effective. Kind of like forcing a girl to lean into you on a first date.
I'll sometimes follow it by putting my hand on their shoulder or around their shoulders to pull them closer in. As mentioned earlier, other than those moments where I really want to make a statement with passion and get her to melt (which should be preserved for on ocaission), I'd almost always rather pull a woman in than go to her, and that applies if we're sitting, standing, lying down, whatever.
Even when you physically moved her by pulling her in, it's still like she's coming to you instead of the other way around.
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During this time, she's standing real close to me, close enough I could smell her, and I put my hand on the small of her back. When she gives my phone back, I type in my response. While I'm typing my response, I watch what she does out of the corner of my eye. Does she stand close to me and look over my arm to see what I'm typing? (Good) Or does she look around at other people, seemingly to be overly patient or under-interested in my response? (Bad).
If I'm seeing good signs here like the one above, then she's entered into my reality and it's much easier for me to assert myself and lead our interaction where I want it to go.
Good stuff. Even without being deaf, I could see guaging this by sending women messages in a loud environment (I've done that before, kind of like "passing notes") and reading it the same.
Much of the trickiness to these dynamics is they can be very situational. I guess that's true about every part of game to a degree, though (i.e. no magic opener, no magic text that will always get a response, etc).