[ZeZay]

Hey guys,

I’m currently a 17 year old guy in high school living in the Netherlands. All my life I’ve only played video games and not really much else. I’ve recently came across this site and found a lot of great stuff. I feel like I’m underachieving in a lot of areas of my life and feel generally lost and I want to fix that and I think this site will help me tremendously with that.

Because I played so much video games I don’t have too much friends and am not very good socially (working on that). High school is 6 years for me and the first 3 years I was a loser. Now I’m in my fourth year and now it’s hard to get in the ‘’popular’’ group and get recognized for changing because of the reputation I’ve build up as the quiet/loner kid. I’m a virgin and have never even kissed a girl. Which is really frustrating at 17 y/o. I also don’t really have any hobbies. I used to play some sports in the past but I’ve always quit them because I was never good at them. Now I’m going to the gym 4x a week on an upper/lower split. I’m plateauing a lot and am still very weak however and not really sure why because I think I’m doing everything right (sleep, nutrition, program, dedication etc). Still I look way better than I did before. I might make a thread in the fitness section about this. I think the only thing I have going for me is that I’m getting pretty good grades at school. And I’m 17 which means there’s plenty of time.

I have set up a few goals so far for the new year that I will work at everyday to try and reach them. If anyone has any more suggestions for goals or tips for any of these I’ll be glad to hear them.

1. Read books
-40 alternatives to college
-7 habits of highly effective people
-think and grow rich
-how to win friends and influence people
-bang
-day bang

2. Get a fit beach body
I’m currently at like 17% bodyfat, 200lbs 6’1. I look kind of skinny fat however I used to look like a total skeleton. I think starting a cut before summer and getting to like 8% bodyfat will make me look a lot better, both in my face and in my body.

3. Find a hobby/passion that I enjoy
I want to find something that people will recognize me for, like when they see me they’ll be like ‘’hey, that’s the guy that plays piano really well!’’ or ‘’hey, that’s the guy that played in the theater!’’ or something. I know I should pick something that I enjoy but I won't know until I've tried it so if anyone has any good suggestions I'd be glad to hear them.

4. Learn to cook

5. Get a better part-time job
I’m currently working at the supermarket however I don’t feel like I’m learning anything useful and all the people there are people I already know from school so I’m not making any new friends either.

6. Decide on the career path I want to follow
I have a lot of options because I'm doing good academically but I don't want to regret my choice.

7. Get laid
Now this one is definitely the hardest for me. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do this one. I’m reading Bang currently and I get the general idea that I should take action and approach a lot. But in the area where I live (small towns) there is only really one high school so all the girls I meet around my age in the mall etc. are from my high school or know someone from my high school which means I will face the social consequences if something goes wrong, like they will tell all their friends and it will spread through the school. Also I don’t hear anyone getting laid at my school, maybe theyre doing it in private but I’m sure guys would want to brag about it if they got laid. Also when I get invited to the ‘’popular’’ parties (which is not often) and we play truth or dare a lot of the guys have never kissed before or something, like me.

8. Get on no fap
I’ve read a lot of great things about this but I don’t know if it’s benefits are worth it when you’re not having sex. Maybe I should just do no porn?

Thanks for reading. If anyone has any general advice or advice for my current situation (hobbies, high school game) or anything it would be invaluable to me. Thanks a lot.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, I'm asian in a 99% white area where the only other asian guy in my school makes fun of himself and his asian-ness to get approval from the white kids. This is definitely a factor as well.

[Irenicus]

Welcome Zezay, you came to the right place.

Since I was kinda like you in high school, I really feel obliged to write you a detailed response, but I cannot do that from my tablet. Once I get home, I will do that.

[britchard]

Hey there.

I'm also a young student like you, I recently made a thread detailing my goals for the year (quite similar to yours).

I was also thinking about reading 'how to win friends and influence people', can anyone vouch for this book?

I'll send you a pm.

[NorthernLights]

If you are plateau-ing at the gym, I strongly recommend the 5x5 routine outlined at http://stronglifts.com/5x5/

If nothing else, just add low weights Squats and slowly increase weight. You will feel like a God if you have patience and dedication here.

There is nothing special to acquiring friends - it's all about being around the same group of people repeatedly. For instance, if you keep going to the same gym, eventually some of the regulars will start talking to you which then can lead to friendship. Same thing anywhere else - just show up regularly and don't be an asshole.

[Irenicus]

Ok, I wrote this article for all the guys that still struggle in a system called gul..err..high school (like the OP). A few days ago, in my neighboring county of Bosnia a 17 year young man called Muharem committed suicide because he was bullied. The whole school knew, yet, did not do jack shit. Read this, and if someone is religious (I lost my faith long, long ago), pray that the young men suffering in those institutions will not take their lives, but instead, discover what they truly are and what they can do with our help, and prosper.

School

First all all, it needs to be understood that nowadays school is something like:

1. An indoctrination center
2. Prison

Education is no longer a focus.

School as an Indoctrination Center

Most of the school system in the West is based on a Prussian system – whose main goal was not to teach students how to think, but how to obey. Many of us noticed that you get rewarded with better grades only because you obey and never question your superiors. That is why girls (who are more submissive – as Mother Nature intended), as well as manginas (men who behave like girls) prosper, and why anyone else suffers, regardless of intelligence. Quoting Rick from the Rick and Morty show - “School is not a place for smart people Morty”.

Also, besides teaching you to never question your superiors, the school system teaches you that you always need to rely on professors (and the State tomorrow) to settle disputes. I remember that once, in elementary, I was attacked by a bully. I stood my ground, and won. What happened next was a shocker – the bully was punished, and well as I !! Just for defending myself !! What I should have done according to my then frigid, stupid ugly old cunt of a professor – I should have let him beat me, and report to her!! And I remember I was punished at home as well because I was “aggressive”. Aggressive for DEFENDING MYSELF!?. Thank God I was not in the US – I would be prescribed some drugs and I would be probably next Elliot fucking Rogers.

School as a Prison

If you watched movies where the story is set in a prison, who is always in charge? Smart guys? Relatively normal guys?

No.

The meanest, toughest and most cruel of people. The same profile most (not all by any right) of the cool guys in school enjoy at the moment. Why is that? Because the concept of school and prison is the same – keep a bunch on people in one spot, under supervision.

The school is a bubble, independent of outside world and with different rules – the “coolest” rule, and in the real world, the smartest and daring do. Once many of those “cool” guys leave that bubble, many will became failures at life – in my case they were. One of those “cool” guys had not too long ago a shotgun wedding, and is still attending some crappy major in Uni (Political Science, at a crappy local institution) while wasting 3 years at Law School. He is, of course, 26 and unemployed, living with his parents in a small apartment.

Not to mention he got a little oinky oinky.

On the other hand I, the average guy, did so much more in those 26 years (I will not brag), and, since I discovered that I am not alone in this world ( I did not know that there are people like me), there is nothing stopping me.

Look around you. How many people who were “cool” now run succesful businesses? Very, very little. How many people who were average or nerdy do? A lot. Zuckenberg, Gates, Jobs, Musk... . They had better things to do rather than being “cool”

To wrap it up – the order in schools is a temporary one, and much different than in real life. “Cool” guys rule, the rest do not. In real life, it is, relatively speaking,vice versa.

What Should a Guy do

First of all, remember that the school is an indoctrination center. Professors do not give a damn about you. All you need to do is to focus on the stuff you are interested in (experiment with various hobbies and pick one that suits you the most), pretend that you are a good little beta (while cultivating your inner alpha by going to the gym, leaning Game, dressing well and reading), and not trying to be “cool” - screw those guys, you time WILL come, but not now. Be patient.

Here is a useful video for you (also check his channel, he has a lot info for younger folks.)

f you are a virgin, do not worry. Keep improving Game and your shape, leaarn how to dress and groom like a man, and read this forum, and you will drown in it hopefully. And avoid porn!

Check the videos of this guy as well (Aaron Marino.)

What a Guy Should Read

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
All works of Machiavelli
Art of War by Sun Tzu
Bang and Day Bang by Roosh
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene (check his other work.)
Enciclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding by Armold Swarzennegger
Worthless and Bachelor Pad Economics by Aaron Clarey( damn, I really wish it was written before.)
Rules for Radicals (use its ideas against its creators – the extreme left. My favourite) by Saul Alinsky
Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi
Daygame Nitro by Nick Krauzer
Style for Men by James Gallichio
Dressing the Man by Allan Flusser

And many more.. .

How to Workout

I do the 6x5 program (first set is a warm up, with lower resistance, and the rest is maximum resistance. There are many other programs explained on this forum and that is the beauty of working out – there is one goal, and many different routes.

Do the gym like three times a week (or more if you can afford it, I cannot). Remember that a muscle need to rest after one session in order to regrow (do not do chest today, then tomorrow, then again after tomorrow for example). Always eat well and as much as possible. And do not expect result overnight – it will take years.

That's it for now, hopefully it will help. Remember, many of us were once like you, and, thanks to the manosphere, we prospered, and will continue to do so. Your. Time. And. Our. Time. Will. Come.

P.S

And tell your friend that he should stop making fun of his race. He should be proud of what he is. I am a proud White. And you guys are proud Asians. And someone is proud Black. Do not be ashamed of what you are. Ever.

Take care

[nogamenick]

Shoot me a message if you want. Also live in The Netherlands (woon in Tilburg, spreek ook Nederlands) Been through the same shit. Change your game according to what your area is like.

[Gustavus Adolphus]

With regards to #7... I'd say just keep it simple, for now. Set goals that you can achieve.

Step 1: Ask a girl on a date. If she says yes, go on the date. Take her to a couple fun places you want to go. Kiss her during the date when going from place A to B. End the date. Kiss her goodnight. Sounds easy, right?
Step 2: Ask a different girl on a date, but same steps, maybe go somewhere else you've been wanting to go.

Do not get hung up on one particular girl. Have fun getting to know as many as you can.

This is truly a great time in your life to learn and make mistakes. But you have to start talking to girls, asking for their number, and going out with them. That way you have something to write about. When you start sharing your approaches, I think you will be surprised at the level of high quality feedback that will help tailor your game and make you more successful.

Good Luck

[LINUX]

A 17 year old kid on a no-fap?

[ZeZay]

(01-05-2016 08:40 PM)Irenicus Wrote:  

Ok, I wrote this article ......
Take care

Wow. Thanks a lot for your reply, it really helps a lot. I did not think of high school that way but it makes a lot of sense. Are the books I have in my goals also good or should I read your books first?

Thanks everyone for the advice, I'm very very lucky to have found this place.

[ZeZay]

(01-06-2016 01:12 AM)Gustavus Adolphus Wrote:  

With regards to #7... I'd say just keep it simple, for now. Set goals that you can achieve.

Step 1: Ask a girl on a date. If she says yes, go on the date. Take her to a couple fun places you want to go. Kiss her during the date when going from place A to B. End the date. Kiss her goodnight. Sounds easy, right?
Step 2: Ask a different girl on a date, but same steps, maybe go somewhere else you've been wanting to go.

Do not get hung up on one particular girl. Have fun getting to know as many as you can.

This is truly a great time in your life to learn and make mistakes. But you have to start talking to girls, asking for their number, and going out with them. That way you have something to write about. When you start sharing your approaches, I think you will be surprised at the level of high quality feedback that will help tailor your game and make you more successful.

Good Luck

This might sound a bit strange but because I've never kissed a girl I don't know how to kiss either so I kinda feel this fear that the first time I try I'll mess up miserably and the date will be over or something. Even though there's no other way to learn it I think it subconsciously prevents me from trying to. Is it hard to pick up kissing?

[Irenicus]

No problem, I am glad it helped.

I read most of the books (not all) you listed, and they are quite good. Keep in mind that there are many other good books as well (many of them written by some forum members), so keep looking for something that suits you.

[SydneyD]

my 2 cents...

just keep at it. You might not see any progress for a long long time and obviously that is very frustrating

...but just keep at it

keep grinding, keep approaching!

people often expect qualitative change (or should i say transformation) to occur immediately or after a relatively short period.....but that's just not the case.

don't be frustrated by a seemingly slow rate of progress.

keep grinding, keep approaching, keep improving.

the results you expect will come gradually. Small quantitative changes will eventually amount to the big qualitative transformation you are looking for.

so just keep at it.
-get a cool haircut
-get some cool new clothes. (or a cool new wardrobe if you can afford it)
-get a cool necklace
-just downright act like a cool motherfucka. fake it till you make it they say (read more on FRAME)
-don't stop hitting the gym.

-most importantly TALK TO GIRLS. Not just the cute girls or the girls you have crushes on but just GIRLS in general.
Say hi to them in the hallways then next time you see them try hold longer more interesting conversations. Ask them what they have planned for the weekend. Plan something interesting and ask them if they are interested in tagging along. Tell a girl you're an awesome cook and invite her over to sample your culinary creations. Just get a girl over to your house to watch a cool new movie or watch you play the guitar or smoke some weed or whatever then try to make a move.

Try to befriend one of the cool guys. This may help get things moving quicker, but don't be a sucker just to get their approval. Ideally you should be working to create a situation where they should be the ones seeking your approval, however difficult or 'impossible' that sounds.

You will fuck up and make many mistakes. Don't let that demotivate you. It's a trial and error thing.

Tell you what i love videogames, but they are notorious for sucking up a lot of your time without improving you as a person. Find a hobby that will improve you. Like learning to play the guitar, painting, drawing faces, learning a new language, playing a sport, skateboarding, photography e.t.c

Avoid staying indoors. Nothing interesting ever happens indoors. Get a bicycle and cycle around everywhere. Go to the interesting spots in your town and i guarantee you that something interesting will happen then. Go on an adventure mate.

the no fap thing is rather silly i think. I don't think it helps in any way. It's unnatural for a teenager.

[ZeZay]

(01-06-2016 12:51 PM)SydneyD Wrote:  

my 2 cents...

Thank you. Getting a new wardrobe and accessoires should definitely be part of my goals as well because together with fitness it will improve my looks a lot. I'm still actively seeking for a good hobby, those are some good suggestions.
If you think no fap is useless, what do you think about porn? Porn should be avoided nontheless right?

[DannyAlberta]

When possible, pick goals that even if you don't 100% succeed at, the pursuit of said goal will improve you nonetheless. I'll give an example from my own life. I can't always meet my fitness goals as they tend to be quite ambitious, but working toward them still leaves me in better shape. At work in the past (before I was a small businessman), I would sometimes get on a project that might not be entirely successful (and this can often be predicted from the outset) but would give myself and my colleagues skills or experience in an area that was lacking before.

No fap, no video games cold turkey is going to be very, very difficult. Better to cut down on those things (i.e. a couple wanks a week, an hour a day max of videogames) and see how that is.

[puckerman]

Stop criticizing yourself. You are already making a change by coming here and looking for answers.

Don't focus on getting laid yet. Find a girl two or three years younger. Your age will already make you "higher value," and she'll look up to you. She'll just be flattered that an older boy is paying attention to her.

She may not have much experience herself, and she'll want someone to train her. She'll be eager to please and do a lot of what you say. You may get laid, but it won't happen immediately.

[Irenicus]

Oh yeah I forgot...google The Book of Book and download it (it is free). Might prove...quite useful.

[ZeZay]

(01-07-2016 01:55 PM)Irenicus Wrote:  

Oh yeah I forgot...google The Book of Book and download it (it is free). Might prove...quite useful.

Do you mean the book of pook? I think I might have actually read a bit of that already, not sure why I stopped though. Will pick it up again, thanks!

[puckerman]

I have a question for the original poster: do you play a musical instrument?

If you don't, give that a shot. You will instantly increase your value.

[ZeZay]

(01-11-2016 04:00 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I have a question for the original poster: do you play a musical instrument?

If you don't, give that a shot. You will instantly increase your value.

Yes, since a few weeks I'm playing piano. Not sure if it's my ''passion'' but its fun.

[OregonToSoCal]

I would extend that to any type of creative art. I'm an amateur photographer (nature, architecture, abstract) and I can't tell you how many times it's gotten me laid. Chicks dig artsy guys who are passionate about their creative pursuit.

[ZeZay]

(01-13-2016 10:44 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

I would extend that to any type of creative art. I'm an amateur photographer (nature, architecture, abstract) and I can't tell you how many times it's gotten me laid. Chicks dig artsy guys who are passionate about their creative pursuit.

Thanks for the tip. How do you get started on something like photographing? And how did it get you laid, did you show them the pictures you've made or something?

[XXL]

Books. Read "48 Laws of Power", it shows how to convey an image that you're in full control even if you're not. The ultimate PR book : )

Beach body. Study http://www.leangains.com and try intermittent fasting along with low volume reverse pyramid in the gym. It's great for cutting. Look it up on google and on RVF [example]. Also read this

Hobby/passion. I have no idea what you like. You should know better what you would like enjoy doing. Playing an instrument is super cool.

Cooking. Very good idea in my opinion. All the knowledge is there for free. Good skill to have for yourself or for dating life.

Better job/career. It's a good idea to learn hard skills. Something that you can say you know and prove it. Things like IT skills, sales, etc. The more narrow/specific the better.

Get laid. Learn social circle game first and cold approach later. Once you get a feel for dealing with women in general in high risk situation then cold approach will be easy, trust me, I've done it this way, I wouldn't want to do it the other way. Second thing is dealing with guys. It's a must to get along with other guys. In order to do it you need to become the "go to" guy aka the person who handles everything aka the leader. I'm guessing that most people you know are very passive and wait for someone to save them. You have to be that person. If nothing is happening in your city its on you do make shit happen. Most importantly network with guys. Girls will come no worries. Hang out with the cool guys and bullshit about girls with them over a beer. If they don't like you yet do something to show them you're OK. Social circle game is about events, parties, booze and adding more people into the mix.

If I started school tomorrow I'd be friendly with everyone in my group first and offer to grab a beer after classes to meet each other. I'd research my city looking for various events etc. Even simple stuff like going to ice skating together counts. I'd throw a party and tell people in my group to bring their friends and introduce people to each other or help others with things. I'd identify cool guys and bond with them, play sports with them and do some funny dares and stuff like that. I'd be doing things and get recognized. I'd use snapchat and record shitload of short clips from parties etc and post them in my story section. As for girls specifically I'd meet other girls for social reasons and flirt with them later. I'd be social with everybody and take over the whole god damn school. It slowly snowball to the point that other people there would gravitate towards me.

My basic guide how to go about girls in social circle without blowing it

As for game in general I've always liked simple posts like those that get to the point instead of books. Read this and this and this and this and this and this and this. Use what's useful discard the rest.

No fap. Silly and overrated in my opinion. It's like throwing away all sugar from your house when you're on diet. It doesn't handle the core problem. Same with porn. No fap will gets you more horny but it will force you to interact with girls for wrong reasons. It'll turn you into pushy, horny little fucker desperate for any pussy there is. If you have social anxiety or you lack of enthusiasm to be around girls then you just have to work on your will. Most probably you just need few good interactions here and there and some positive feedback in general to wake the fuck up and get on the right tracks.

[Mercenary]

(01-06-2016 02:06 AM)ZeZay Wrote:  

This might sound a bit strange but because I've never kissed a girl I don't know how to kiss either so I kinda feel this fear that the first time I try I'll mess up miserably and the date will be over or something. Even though there's no other way to learn it I think it subconsciously prevents me from trying to. Is it hard to pick up kissing?

Read my post and the rest of this thread on kissing and you will stop worrying about that pretty quickly.

thread-5421.html

[Khan]

(01-06-2016 03:56 PM)ZeZay Wrote:  

I'm still actively seeking for a good hobby, those are some good suggestions.

You could try one of these three: martial arts, language classes (French for example), or dancing (salsa, ballroom etc). All three will increase your value with chicks, especially martial arts and dancing.

[puckerman]

(01-15-2016 06:29 PM)ZeZay Wrote:  

Thanks for the tip. How do you get started on something like photographing? And how did it get you laid, did you show them the pictures you've made or something?

Buy a camera.