Struggling high schooler looking to make a change
Quote: (01-16-2016 09:23 AM)Khan Wrote:
Quote: (01-06-2016 03:56 PM)ZeZay Wrote:
I'm still actively seeking for a good hobby, those are some good suggestions.
You could try one of these three: martial arts, language classes (French for example), or dancing (salsa, ballroom etc). All three will increase your value with chicks, especially martial arts and dancing.
Yeah, I've contacted a few dancing clubs here, wanted to do salsa but the salsa lessons start at the end of April so for now I'm trying out hiphop/streetdance. I've had two lessons so far, it's fun but very hard for me to keep up without having danced ever before. I've also thought about martial arts however I first need to heal my shoulders.
Quote: (01-16-2016 07:14 AM)XXL Wrote:
Books. Read "48 Laws of Power", it shows how to convey an image that you're in full control even if you're not. The ultimate PR book : )
Beach body. Study http://www.leangains.com and try intermittent fasting along with low volume reverse pyramid in the gym. It's great for cutting. Look it up on google and on RVF [example]. Also read this
Hobby/passion. I have no idea what you like. You should know better what you would like enjoy doing. Playing an instrument is super cool.
Cooking. Very good idea in my opinion. All the knowledge is there for free. Good skill to have for yourself or for dating life.
Better job/career. It's a good idea to learn hard skills. Something that you can say you know and prove it. Things like IT skills, sales, etc. The more narrow/specific the better.
Get laid. Learn social circle game first and cold approach later. Once you get a feel for dealing with women in general in high risk situation then cold approach will be easy, trust me, I've done it this way, I wouldn't want to do it the other way. Second thing is dealing with guys. It's a must to get along with other guys. In order to do it you need to become the "go to" guy aka the person who handles everything aka the leader. I'm guessing that most people you know are very passive and wait for someone to save them. You have to be that person. If nothing is happening in your city its on you do make shit happen. Most importantly network with guys. Girls will come no worries. Hang out with the cool guys and bullshit about girls with them over a beer. If they don't like you yet do something to show them you're OK. Social circle game is about events, parties, booze and adding more people into the mix.
If I started school tomorrow I'd be friendly with everyone in my group first and offer to grab a beer after classes to meet each other. I'd research my city looking for various events etc. Even simple stuff like going to ice skating together counts. I'd throw a party and tell people in my group to bring their friends and introduce people to each other or help others with things. I'd identify cool guys and bond with them, play sports with them and do some funny dares and stuff like that. I'd be doing things and get recognized. I'd use snapchat and record shitload of short clips from parties etc and post them in my story section. As for girls specifically I'd meet other girls for social reasons and flirt with them later. I'd be social with everybody and take over the whole god damn school. It slowly snowball to the point that other people there would gravitate towards me.
My basic guide how to go about girls in social circle without blowing it
As for game in general I've always liked simple posts like those that get to the point instead of books. Read this and this and this and this and this and this and this. Use what's useful discard the rest.
No fap. Silly and overrated in my opinion. It's like throwing away all sugar from your house when you're on diet. It doesn't handle the core problem. Same with porn. No fap will gets you more horny but it will force you to interact with girls for wrong reasons. It'll turn you into pushy, horny little fucker desperate for any pussy there is. If you have social anxiety or you lack of enthusiasm to be around girls then you just have to work on your will. Most probably you just need few good interactions here and there and some positive feedback in general to wake the fuck up and get on the right tracks.
Thanks, the social circle game advice is really helpful. I added the book to my book list.
Quote: (01-17-2016 06:40 AM)puckerman Wrote:
Quote: (01-13-2016 08:47 AM)ZeZay Wrote:
Yes, since a few weeks I'm playing piano. Not sure if it's my ''passion'' but its fun.
That's better than nothing, but the main problem is that you can't take a piano with you. It's better to play an instrument that is easily portable.
I guess so. I'm really enjoying the piano though, and a lot of people have a piano at home, so I'm sticking with it.
a progress report would be nice
Quote: (01-05-2016 01:48 PM)ZeZay Wrote:
Okay so this is my progress so far these past 3 weeks.
1. Read books
So far I've read bang and I'm almost done with how to win friends and influence people. I'll pick up more books as I go, got a whole list now thanks to you guys. The goal is 1 or 2 books a month as I'm pretty busy with school and stuff as well.
2. Fitness
Okay so I've made a thread about this in the fitness section but my shoulders aren't very healthy and I'm taking some time off only training back and legs for now.
3. Find a hobby/passion that I enjoy
So I've been super busy trying out all different things this month. I've tried guitar, violin and piano, brazilian jiu jitsu, basketball, hiphop dancing, theater classes, salsa dancing etc. taking advantage of all the free first classes they give. Three things I really liked, piano, which I'm learning now, brazilian jiu jitsu, which I can't really do yet until my shoulder is healed, and I'm going to learn salsa in February. I was originally going to sign up for the hiphop classes but I enjoyed salsa more. I've recently contacted a girl that's looking to learn as well and we'll probably sign up together. Looking forward to that.
4. Learn to cook
This is going pretty well, cooking is really fun and I've learned some delicious and healthy new dishes.
5. Get a better part-time job
I've applied for a few places, still waiting for an answer. For now I'm still working at the supermarket though.
6. Decide on the career path I want to follow
I'm thinking about doing something with engineering, still not sure yet though. I have a few books about career path on my list.
7. Get laid
No luck yet, for now I'm trying to build my social circle first.
8. Get on no fap
Reading some of your suggestions I guess this is not that beneficial for me so I'm not doing this anymore.
I've been so busy these 3 weeks doing all of this that instead of having like 4 hours a day left for video games, I didn't play any at all and I don't miss it either. I think constantly working on myself feels a lot more rewarding.
I would make fitness and reading my #1 priorities for a while. You're at the right age for getting huge. You can get so strong so fast at 17. I really wish I had started lifting at 17-18 instead of 25. I know that in the Netherlands a lot of guys are naturally tall and jacked, so I would take advantage of that genetic disposition and get my body dialed in.
I have a friend who is a lot like you. He's around your age, height and weight and is an aspiring fitness model from northern Europe. He got serious about self-improvement, quit video games, quit hanging out with lame people and all that other stuff.
He got his body dialed in within a year and now has a soft harem of 8s; I'm not even joking.
I have a friend who is a lot like you. He's around your age, height and weight and is an aspiring fitness model from northern Europe. He got serious about self-improvement, quit video games, quit hanging out with lame people and all that other stuff.
He got his body dialed in within a year and now has a soft harem of 8s; I'm not even joking.
I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
Nice update. Are you going to limit your fapping at all? I would recommend doing so.
Is the girl that you're signing up to salsa with a girl that you know in person?
Is the girl that you're signing up to salsa with a girl that you know in person?
I'm not trying to radicalize you, but Race Matters. Ethnicity Matters. Color Matters. Money Matters. Social Class Matters.
The Game ain't the same for everyone.
1. NEVER assimilate or denigrate yourself.
Take pride in your heritage, but that means you don't need to be on some AZN POWER every second. Know your history, your language, your culture, deeply. Really talk to the older generation. If you can read a newspaper from the homeland, you're in good shape.
2. Society sees you one way. Do not let their perceptions stop you.
- Asians and Indians are seen as smart and hardwork.
- Asians and Indians are NEVER seen as leaders or sexually attractive
Never mind Asians and Indians are running shit all over the damn globe.
Nobody in the Majority wants to deal with that reality. When you read the news about India and China, it's a lot of FEAR.
3. When it comes to women
- Your own women seem to like everybody but you. Maybe a handful of super attractive Asian dudes can pull all the hot Asian chicks. But that's a mountain you can't seem to climb. And a lot of the decent Asian chicks would rather bang a white dude. *face palm*. Hell mediocre chicks might take an mediocre white dude.
That's called cultural conditioning. If the only thing that people see is white people being the greatest, the best, but also the smartest, tallest, funniest, most interesting - little by little that becomes part of your criteria.
That's why representation in the media of minorities is so important.
The only time white kids have historically noticed that is with music. All the best popular music in America was created by Black Americans. They wanted to be a part of it. When they finally got a guy, or a group of guys, the whole thing was cool for all of them. From Elvis to Eminem - they weren't super fans until a white face was at the center of it. There are a lot of hip hop "fans" now that only listen to Eminem and the Beastie Boys.
When you see someone that looks like you, it allows you to dream and imagine.
These are deep cultural things that are a little too big for this post, but keep that in mind.
- Other women don't even seem to see you, much less take you seriously
White/Latina/Black/etc girls have a template of "Sexy Stereotypes"
So sometimes it's the white quarterback, other times it's the black track star, it could be the Latin Lover.. So on and so forth.
There are very few niches that you can jump in deep. Young Indian Guys can't really milk yoga, and Asian dudes can't get love for Martial Arts. Fucked up.
As a player, you can't rely that.
You have to a do a lot of work to developer yourself
4. High School
I had a good time in high school.
The key to my happiness was having that core group of friends.
This is your first set of friends, you'll develop a new core in college, trust.
But strengthen those bonds with your boys now. Lan parties, going for pizza, smoking out, - whatever it is, as long as it doesn't get you in jail, - do it. Do it more often.
5. Game
I said all the above, because the thing that I think you need the most is really taking hold of your current identity.
Identity and how you feel about yourself are the CORE of Game.
It's one thing to not like your current situation.
It's another thing to not like yourself.
Like yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself.
Once you've started on that foot, the easy work kicks in.
A. Getting Physically Fit
If you're 17, you're still growing. A lot of the muscleheads will tell you to lift heavy (squats and dead lifts).
Instead
- body weight exercises
- calisthenics
- gymnastics? Freestyle pull up bar stuff?
Take advantage of your energy and growth hormones
B. Diet
Right now you can eat anything. That's cool. Good metabolism. You're probably going to go to college soon, so the real thing here is to learn from the parents how to cook your favorite things.
This ties back into your identity and culture.
When you leave home, you probably won't eat the same things, or make things as good as your family - but boiling water, making rice, cooking vegetables and meats, SEASONING.....learning those things will help you when you start changing up your diet.
C. Clothing
In high school, you really can't compete with the rich kids here. And if you happen to be one of the rich kids, chances are you're not the guy everybody is watching for style cues. Those kids in the new limited sneakers, are just mindless consumers. They're socially better off than the kids in just t-shirt and jeans, but still just trend hoppers.
Now is the time to experiment. You'll have all of college to experiment as well.
Learn classic suit style
Learn how to spot trends on the street.
Find people with your build and look, and model them.
Here's a good site on Asian Male Style - http://steezyasiandudes.tumblr.com
![[Image: tumblr_nxarfyPduM1qfg18go1_1280.jpg]](https://40.media.tumblr.com/840779fc56e2a2bdf2e9dd009c967b56/tumblr_nxarfyPduM1qfg18go1_1280.jpg)
If someone in your family can sew, LEARN NOW.
D. Running Game in High School
- At your high school, you have to start becoming more social. So show up to school events and talk to people. High School identities are super concrete because the pecking order was established in kindergarten for most of those kids.
- You need to focus on contact with other nearby high schools. That's where you're really going to meet strangers and do your approaching.
- Get your Instagram/Facebook/Twitter game up. Do cool shit and document it. But don't talk a lot of trash. You have the time, technology, and energy to show some dope shit. So if somebody at the spot makes noodles by hand, or you got pics from the old country - DO THAT. If you're into Parkour or skateboarding - get some video.
___________________________________________
That's all I got to say.
There's a youngster post on the main Game Board. Definitely read that.
WIA
The Game ain't the same for everyone.
1. NEVER assimilate or denigrate yourself.
Take pride in your heritage, but that means you don't need to be on some AZN POWER every second. Know your history, your language, your culture, deeply. Really talk to the older generation. If you can read a newspaper from the homeland, you're in good shape.
2. Society sees you one way. Do not let their perceptions stop you.
- Asians and Indians are seen as smart and hardwork.
- Asians and Indians are NEVER seen as leaders or sexually attractive
Never mind Asians and Indians are running shit all over the damn globe.
Nobody in the Majority wants to deal with that reality. When you read the news about India and China, it's a lot of FEAR.
3. When it comes to women
- Your own women seem to like everybody but you. Maybe a handful of super attractive Asian dudes can pull all the hot Asian chicks. But that's a mountain you can't seem to climb. And a lot of the decent Asian chicks would rather bang a white dude. *face palm*. Hell mediocre chicks might take an mediocre white dude.
That's called cultural conditioning. If the only thing that people see is white people being the greatest, the best, but also the smartest, tallest, funniest, most interesting - little by little that becomes part of your criteria.
That's why representation in the media of minorities is so important.
The only time white kids have historically noticed that is with music. All the best popular music in America was created by Black Americans. They wanted to be a part of it. When they finally got a guy, or a group of guys, the whole thing was cool for all of them. From Elvis to Eminem - they weren't super fans until a white face was at the center of it. There are a lot of hip hop "fans" now that only listen to Eminem and the Beastie Boys.
When you see someone that looks like you, it allows you to dream and imagine.
These are deep cultural things that are a little too big for this post, but keep that in mind.
- Other women don't even seem to see you, much less take you seriously
White/Latina/Black/etc girls have a template of "Sexy Stereotypes"
So sometimes it's the white quarterback, other times it's the black track star, it could be the Latin Lover.. So on and so forth.
There are very few niches that you can jump in deep. Young Indian Guys can't really milk yoga, and Asian dudes can't get love for Martial Arts. Fucked up.
As a player, you can't rely that.
You have to a do a lot of work to developer yourself
4. High School
I had a good time in high school.
The key to my happiness was having that core group of friends.
This is your first set of friends, you'll develop a new core in college, trust.
But strengthen those bonds with your boys now. Lan parties, going for pizza, smoking out, - whatever it is, as long as it doesn't get you in jail, - do it. Do it more often.
5. Game
I said all the above, because the thing that I think you need the most is really taking hold of your current identity.
Identity and how you feel about yourself are the CORE of Game.
It's one thing to not like your current situation.
It's another thing to not like yourself.
Like yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself.
Once you've started on that foot, the easy work kicks in.
A. Getting Physically Fit
If you're 17, you're still growing. A lot of the muscleheads will tell you to lift heavy (squats and dead lifts).
Instead
- body weight exercises
- calisthenics
- gymnastics? Freestyle pull up bar stuff?
Take advantage of your energy and growth hormones
B. Diet
Right now you can eat anything. That's cool. Good metabolism. You're probably going to go to college soon, so the real thing here is to learn from the parents how to cook your favorite things.
This ties back into your identity and culture.
When you leave home, you probably won't eat the same things, or make things as good as your family - but boiling water, making rice, cooking vegetables and meats, SEASONING.....learning those things will help you when you start changing up your diet.
C. Clothing
In high school, you really can't compete with the rich kids here. And if you happen to be one of the rich kids, chances are you're not the guy everybody is watching for style cues. Those kids in the new limited sneakers, are just mindless consumers. They're socially better off than the kids in just t-shirt and jeans, but still just trend hoppers.
Now is the time to experiment. You'll have all of college to experiment as well.
Learn classic suit style
Learn how to spot trends on the street.
Find people with your build and look, and model them.
Here's a good site on Asian Male Style - http://steezyasiandudes.tumblr.com
If someone in your family can sew, LEARN NOW.
D. Running Game in High School
- At your high school, you have to start becoming more social. So show up to school events and talk to people. High School identities are super concrete because the pecking order was established in kindergarten for most of those kids.
- You need to focus on contact with other nearby high schools. That's where you're really going to meet strangers and do your approaching.
- Get your Instagram/Facebook/Twitter game up. Do cool shit and document it. But don't talk a lot of trash. You have the time, technology, and energy to show some dope shit. So if somebody at the spot makes noodles by hand, or you got pics from the old country - DO THAT. If you're into Parkour or skateboarding - get some video.
___________________________________________
That's all I got to say.
There's a youngster post on the main Game Board. Definitely read that.
WIA
Quote: (01-24-2016 11:14 AM)britchard Wrote:
Nice update. Are you going to limit your fapping at all? I would recommend doing so.
Is the girl that you're signing up to salsa with a girl that you know in person?
Well I didn't really fap that much before anyway (like once every 3-4 days) so probably not.
I'm meeting with the girl somewhere this or next week, don't know her in person yet. I contacted her via the site where she put up an ad looking for a dance partner.
Quote: (01-24-2016 01:31 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
I wish there was an Asian version of the Autobiography of Malcolm X.
I'm not trying to radicalize you, but Race Matters. Ethnicity Matters. Color Matters. Money Matters. Social Class Matters.
The Game ain't the same for everyone.
1. NEVER assimilate or denigrate yourself.
2. Society sees you one way. Do not let their perceptions stop you.
3. When it comes to women
4. High School
5. Game
___________________________________________
That's all I got to say.
There's a youngster post on the main Game Board. Definitely read that.
WIA
Holy shit, this must've taken a long time to write, thank you.
I deal with racism a lot where I live, everything like media and stuff is all white people obviously. The few asians that do live here make fun of their own race, I call them out on it and people are like ''if you don't like that why don't you go back to your own country'' etc while the asians themselves keep quiet, they probably know what they're doing isn't right but they like the approval they get from the white people. I'm used to it now, can't say it doesn't affect me anymore, but it certainly used to affect me a lot more.
You mentioned social media, I actually don't have any social media except for texting. Never found the need for it, however I'm reconsidering that now. One reason I didn't bother was because everyone always compares likes and followers and stuff like that and I'm not popular so I'll have way less. I just downloaded snapchat and instagram for the first time ever, I wonder how this will go.
A key thing you should do is keep going. That perseverance and hard work will pay off especially as a man.
A lot of boys that are popular, fit, smart, whatever in highschool lose that when they get older and become men. Self improvement isn't a focus of their life and those areas where they were once great suffer.
They lose a lot of friends, get fat and aren't as smart as they used to be.
If you focus on self improvement your value will increase and increase as a man. Always remember that.
What you should do now?
Socially: Make as many friends as possible from all types of people. Meet up with those people as much as possible. Then hang on to the best friends you have throughout your whole life. The two friends I still have from those days are some of my best friends to this day.
Financially: If you have time get a part time job for a little bit of responsibility and cash flow. Then save most of that money and learn how to handle it.
Style: I know a lot of people on the forum talk about custom suited down but you are 17. Dress like you are 17 but a stylish and well dressed 17 year old.
Game: Don't worry about girls yet. Just worry about having fun with your friends and girls will be drawn to that. Once they come be social, flirty and push for the lay. Just don't make women and getting laid such a focus that it's all you worry about.
Like WIA said you have a mountain to climb being an Asian male as they are not seen as a sex symbol. The thing going for you is your tall and you are exotic. If you get your game and your fitness right girls won't care either way.
You want to be the guy that girls say this about
"I don't usually like Asian guys but something about you"
If they say that about you that means your value is so high as a man that they don't care whether your Asian, Latino, black, white, whatever. They just know a high value man is infront of them.
School/Life Direction: Always do well in school and figure out where you want to go in life with your career and other aspects and tailor what education you need based on that. If you do well in school it opens doors anywhere that can get you strong career networks.
Fitness: Build a strong base throughout your body for strength and try to cut your body fat percentage. You can build that strong base with body weight exercises. That's what I did at your age. Body weight squats, running, sprinting, jump rope, pushups, pull ups, sit ups.
Overall just keep your head up and pushing through. Your still very young and as long as you continue to focus on self improvement your life will improve in all areas.
A lot of boys that are popular, fit, smart, whatever in highschool lose that when they get older and become men. Self improvement isn't a focus of their life and those areas where they were once great suffer.
They lose a lot of friends, get fat and aren't as smart as they used to be.
If you focus on self improvement your value will increase and increase as a man. Always remember that.
What you should do now?
Socially: Make as many friends as possible from all types of people. Meet up with those people as much as possible. Then hang on to the best friends you have throughout your whole life. The two friends I still have from those days are some of my best friends to this day.
Financially: If you have time get a part time job for a little bit of responsibility and cash flow. Then save most of that money and learn how to handle it.
Style: I know a lot of people on the forum talk about custom suited down but you are 17. Dress like you are 17 but a stylish and well dressed 17 year old.
Game: Don't worry about girls yet. Just worry about having fun with your friends and girls will be drawn to that. Once they come be social, flirty and push for the lay. Just don't make women and getting laid such a focus that it's all you worry about.
Like WIA said you have a mountain to climb being an Asian male as they are not seen as a sex symbol. The thing going for you is your tall and you are exotic. If you get your game and your fitness right girls won't care either way.
You want to be the guy that girls say this about
"I don't usually like Asian guys but something about you"
If they say that about you that means your value is so high as a man that they don't care whether your Asian, Latino, black, white, whatever. They just know a high value man is infront of them.
School/Life Direction: Always do well in school and figure out where you want to go in life with your career and other aspects and tailor what education you need based on that. If you do well in school it opens doors anywhere that can get you strong career networks.
Fitness: Build a strong base throughout your body for strength and try to cut your body fat percentage. You can build that strong base with body weight exercises. That's what I did at your age. Body weight squats, running, sprinting, jump rope, pushups, pull ups, sit ups.
Overall just keep your head up and pushing through. Your still very young and as long as you continue to focus on self improvement your life will improve in all areas.
At least you are not iranian P![[Image: smile.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/smile.gif)
Seriously man, good luck! Keep us updated and go out there and smash it!!!
Seriously man, good luck! Keep us updated and go out there and smash it!!!
Little update, I recently fell during a party and bruised my tailbone. Walking and standing up was hard the first few days, it's slowly getting better but I think it will take me a few weeks before everything's back to normal. I was doing a recovery routine in the gym for my bad shoulders, sucks that it will take even longer now to heal because I can't do those rehab exercises for a while. Can't get started on salsa dancing yet either because of this and might have to wait a few months until the new courses start if I miss too much lessons now. Accidents happen I guess. By what most people suggest, after I fixed my shoulder injury (have a lot of strain when doing things like (assisted) pullups and pushups), I'll focus on calisthenics and bodyweight exercises and keep it simple because in the past year I've been doing a bodybuilding style routine with weights and it hasn't given me great results.
Now that I can't do much physical activity, I've dedicated more of my time towards reading and school. I've finished How to Win Friends and Influence people, finished Worthless and am currently reading gorilla mindset and bachelor pad economics.
Thank you Irenicus for the suggestions on the books by Aaron Clarey, they are really good, I finished Worthless a few days ago and now I have a way better understanding of what I want to study in the future if I decide to go to university. I've applied for almost all of the universities here in Holland to go check out their open days and see what kind of subjects I might enjoy studying in the future, if I choose to go to university.
Im working at an ice cream store now, the pay is better and it's more fun however socially there's not much more oppurtunities for me. It's definitely an improvement though.
I've also went to the store recently and bought some cool stuff on discount from the money I have left from work, I bought a bracelet, a watch and a new vest and some other small stuff.
Now that I can't do much physical activity, I've dedicated more of my time towards reading and school. I've finished How to Win Friends and Influence people, finished Worthless and am currently reading gorilla mindset and bachelor pad economics.
Thank you Irenicus for the suggestions on the books by Aaron Clarey, they are really good, I finished Worthless a few days ago and now I have a way better understanding of what I want to study in the future if I decide to go to university. I've applied for almost all of the universities here in Holland to go check out their open days and see what kind of subjects I might enjoy studying in the future, if I choose to go to university.
Im working at an ice cream store now, the pay is better and it's more fun however socially there's not much more oppurtunities for me. It's definitely an improvement though.
I've also went to the store recently and bought some cool stuff on discount from the money I have left from work, I bought a bracelet, a watch and a new vest and some other small stuff.
Quote: (01-05-2016 01:48 PM)ZeZay Wrote:
Hey guys,
I’m currently a 17 year old guy in high school living in the Netherlands. All my life I’ve only played video games and not really much else. I’ve recently came across this site and found a lot of great stuff. I feel like I’m underachieving in a lot of areas of my life and feel generally lost and I want to fix that and I think this site will help me tremendously with that.
Because I played so much video games I don’t have too much friends and am not very good socially (working on that). High school is 6 years for me and the first 3 years I was a loser. Now I’m in my fourth year and now it’s hard to get in the ‘’popular’’ group and get recognized for changing because of the reputation I’ve build up as the quiet/loner kid. I’m a virgin and have never even kissed a girl. Which is really frustrating at 17 y/o. I also don’t really have any hobbies. I used to play some sports in the past but I’ve always quit them because I was never good at them. Now I’m going to the gym 4x a week on an upper/lower split. I’m plateauing a lot and am still very weak however and not really sure why because I think I’m doing everything right (sleep, nutrition, program, dedication etc). Still I look way better than I did before. I might make a thread in the fitness section about this. I think the only thing I have going for me is that I’m getting pretty good grades at school. And I’m 17 which means there’s plenty of time.
I have set up a few goals so far for the new year that I will work at everyday to try and reach them. If anyone has any more suggestions for goals or tips for any of these I’ll be glad to hear them.
1. Read books
-40 alternatives to college
-7 habits of highly effective people
-think and grow rich
-how to win friends and influence people
-bang
-day bang
2. Get a fit beach body
I’m currently at like 17% bodyfat, 200lbs 6’1. I look kind of skinny fat however I used to look like a total skeleton. I think starting a cut before summer and getting to like 8% bodyfat will make me look a lot better, both in my face and in my body.
3. Find a hobby/passion that I enjoy
I want to find something that people will recognize me for, like when they see me they’ll be like ‘’hey, that’s the guy that plays piano really well!’’ or ‘’hey, that’s the guy that played in the theater!’’ or something. I know I should pick something that I enjoy but I won't know until I've tried it so if anyone has any good suggestions I'd be glad to hear them.
4. Learn to cook
5. Get a better part-time job
I’m currently working at the supermarket however I don’t feel like I’m learning anything useful and all the people there are people I already know from school so I’m not making any new friends either.
6. Decide on the career path I want to follow
I have a lot of options because I'm doing good academically but I don't want to regret my choice.
7. Get laid
Now this one is definitely the hardest for me. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do this one. I’m reading Bang currently and I get the general idea that I should take action and approach a lot. But in the area where I live (small towns) there is only really one high school so all the girls I meet around my age in the mall etc. are from my high school or know someone from my high school which means I will face the social consequences if something goes wrong, like they will tell all their friends and it will spread through the school. Also I don’t hear anyone getting laid at my school, maybe theyre doing it in private but I’m sure guys would want to brag about it if they got laid. Also when I get invited to the ‘’popular’’ parties (which is not often) and we play truth or dare a lot of the guys have never kissed before or something, like me.
8. Get on no fap
I’ve read a lot of great things about this but I don’t know if it’s benefits are worth it when you’re not having sex. Maybe I should just do no porn?
Thanks for reading. If anyone has any general advice or advice for my current situation (hobbies, high school game) or anything it would be invaluable to me. Thanks a lot.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, I'm asian in a 99% white area where the only other asian guy in my school makes fun of himself and his asian-ness to get approval from the white kids. This is definitely a factor as well.
Im asian as well, and my story is similar to yours.
In high school, I was skinny, short and had certain physical attributes which made me a target for bullies (PM me if you are curious)
I left high school at 17 and had my growth spurt. I wasnt short anymore. A girl I had oneitis over made fun of me for being skinny. I dedicated an entire year to lifting, got validation from said girl and pumped and dumped her. I made several improvements to my life unconsciously; lifting, condifence, style etc...
I digress....
Books I recommend
1. Letters from a stoic.
2. Bang and day bang.
3. A clockwork orange.
4. 1984
5. Thus spoke Zarathustra.
6. 48 Laws of power
Fitness
To drop the body fat, pick up a martial art. Boxing will come in especially useful and will boost your confidence immensely
Getting laid
You've already established a reputation in school. That doesnt matter, you can always reinvent yourself. Im sure there are some girls who are not with the popular crowd and are reasonably attractive. Try looking in the right places?
Ever considered taking a trip abroad where youre esentially a man without a past, so to speak.
Losing your virignity seems to be a big thing for you. Have you considered P4P? Im suggesting this so that you can get the V monkey off your back and focus on other avenues in your life.
Little update. I've been using a lot of advice that I got from this forum and I've been very busy with self improvement. A lot of my habits have changed (for example procrastinating). I'm learning to manage my time better to get more stuff done. With reading I almost finished reading Bachelor pad economics and about halfway through 48 laws of power.
For hobbies, I started with the ballroom dancing lessons. The partner I originally was going to meet up with said she didn't want to go anymore, but I signed up anyway because I really wanted to go. Another girl signed up as well so we got assigned to eachother because we both didn't have a dance partner. She's way more boring and way less attractive than the other girl which sucks but better than no partner at all because I'm still learning to ballroom dance. Maybe I should've joined the hiphop classes instead of the ballroom classes because the hiphop group had like 10 cute girls and I would've been the only guy that joined. I'm still learning the piano as well, I want to play in a band someday. I'm not sure what's better, learning ballroom dancing with a boring girl or learning hiphop with cute girls.
I've been very active, I'm going to the gym 3x a week and swimming 2x a week, all to rehab my shoulders to eventually fix my injury so I can start progressing on full speed and start building muscle. Meanwhile thanks to the swimming I'm losing a bit of bodyfat. When my shoulders are healed I'll probably start a martial art as well, am thinking about either MMA or BJJ. I don't know how long it will take before my shoulders are healed though.
Combine this all with school and I barely have any time left. I went/am going to different open days from universities here in the Netherlands and from what I've seen so far I am probably going to one of the ''technical universities'' because they focus more on engineering subjects (I'm interested in civil, mechanical or chemical engineering). The population in these towns are like 75% male and 25% female though, which will not be ideal.
For hobbies, I started with the ballroom dancing lessons. The partner I originally was going to meet up with said she didn't want to go anymore, but I signed up anyway because I really wanted to go. Another girl signed up as well so we got assigned to eachother because we both didn't have a dance partner. She's way more boring and way less attractive than the other girl which sucks but better than no partner at all because I'm still learning to ballroom dance. Maybe I should've joined the hiphop classes instead of the ballroom classes because the hiphop group had like 10 cute girls and I would've been the only guy that joined. I'm still learning the piano as well, I want to play in a band someday. I'm not sure what's better, learning ballroom dancing with a boring girl or learning hiphop with cute girls.
I've been very active, I'm going to the gym 3x a week and swimming 2x a week, all to rehab my shoulders to eventually fix my injury so I can start progressing on full speed and start building muscle. Meanwhile thanks to the swimming I'm losing a bit of bodyfat. When my shoulders are healed I'll probably start a martial art as well, am thinking about either MMA or BJJ. I don't know how long it will take before my shoulders are healed though.
Combine this all with school and I barely have any time left. I went/am going to different open days from universities here in the Netherlands and from what I've seen so far I am probably going to one of the ''technical universities'' because they focus more on engineering subjects (I'm interested in civil, mechanical or chemical engineering). The population in these towns are like 75% male and 25% female though, which will not be ideal.
I like your determination on self improvement. You're way ahead of the pack and your 'taking action' mindset is admireable. Keep it up and keep us posted on your progress.
About the hiphop vs ballroom course: ballroom all the way. Hiphop might seem more cool and socially accepted by most people of your age but it's not something you will benefit from for the rest of your life (unless it's one of your hidden talents and it'll make you money). The class, style and elegance of mastering ballroom dancing will.
Too bad about the salsa dancing, but you can pick that up later (as can you regarding hiphop classes). Step by step my friend.
About the hiphop vs ballroom course: ballroom all the way. Hiphop might seem more cool and socially accepted by most people of your age but it's not something you will benefit from for the rest of your life (unless it's one of your hidden talents and it'll make you money). The class, style and elegance of mastering ballroom dancing will.
Too bad about the salsa dancing, but you can pick that up later (as can you regarding hiphop classes). Step by step my friend.
How do I have sex without losing the vitality that comes with the high levels of T? - Elmo Louis
Easy bro - pull out and cum in your hand. Then shove that cum in your mouth and swallow to avoid losing your vitality or lowering your T. - Yardog
Whats Important
1. meaningful relationships
2. health
3. knowledge
MOMENTUM, FOCUS, and ENERGY are your best friend.
For that: Pick your "most important task", shut out useless people and activities, get correct sleep nutrition and exercise with an emphasis on HIIT as it it causes something amazing- Mitochondrial genesis. The power plants in your cells actually multiply and give you more energy!
1. meaningful relationships
2. health
3. knowledge
MOMENTUM, FOCUS, and ENERGY are your best friend.
For that: Pick your "most important task", shut out useless people and activities, get correct sleep nutrition and exercise with an emphasis on HIIT as it it causes something amazing- Mitochondrial genesis. The power plants in your cells actually multiply and give you more energy!
Update - it has been a while.
Finding this site has been huge for me, I wake up motivated every day and I generally feel happier, I think other people notice that as well.
I've been busy with all the tips and suggestions from you guys and here is a summary of the things I've been doing the last few months:
Hobbies:
Starting with music instruments this year has been a lot of fun, I've picked up the piano and recently I'm playing the drums as well, I can probably get a drumming kit for really cheap from a friend with the money I have saved up from work. I've performed for an audience, I'm not that good on the drums yet but they needed a drummer and I was pressured by my friends to go try. I'm looking to join a band after I pick up my drumming kit, probably play some keyboard as well, because the rush and compliments I got after performing felt amazing.
Salsa dancing every week has been fun, however my dance partner is pretty cute so I'm still nervous sometimes (especially at the start of the lesson). It's a good way for me to practice social skills and to get comfortable.
Stil learning to cook as well, we've got an oven recently which means I've got a lot more options and I'll be looking to expand my arsenal over the summer. Also got some cool new clothes and am becoming more aware of what to wear and how to match.
Self improvement
I’ve been reading books, little bit busy with school but I recently finished book of pook, and before that I read Mastery by Robert Greene.
I’m going for my drivers license, am actively learning German and recently a bit of Chinese.
I also got my shoulder mostly healed and for a month or two I’m not doing basic bodyweight exercises, pullups, pushups etc. I could do 0 pullups 2 months ago when I started, and about 5 pushups, so I started with negative pullups. Suddenly the next week I could do one pullup. Now 2 months later I can do 7 pullups, and about 10 diamond pushups. Now I’ve trained for a year before and the max I could ever do was like 2 pullups, now suddenly after training for 2 months I can do 7 pullups. And in that year I did exercises like dumbbell rows, seated rows, tbar rows etc, so it’s not like it shouldn’t have any carryover, which is a bit strange to me. Might be because I’ve lost some weight because I now weigh around 73 kg, while I used to weigh 85 kg at the start of the year. I’ve noticed some fat loss however my body hasn't changed too much, I don’t have a six pack yet and can still feel a bit of fat everywhere around my body. Not as much change as you would expect from 12kg. My goal is to get a sixpack by the end of july and from there on clean bulk.
Social
I'm generally happier and other people notice that as well, I've been way more social, trying to talk with everyone and slowly building up friendships and connections, and noticing people opening up more to me. I've been invited to 5 high school parties in the next few weeks from different social groups, which shows the progress I'm making because I used to always be the one that wasn't invited. Over the summer I'm looking to get into social media and use that to go even further.
Still no kiss or getting laid. No stress though. Im already surprised with the steps I'm taking to improve myself. I want to thank everyone that has given me advice again and I'll continue with this over the next few months.
Finding this site has been huge for me, I wake up motivated every day and I generally feel happier, I think other people notice that as well.
I've been busy with all the tips and suggestions from you guys and here is a summary of the things I've been doing the last few months:
Hobbies:
Starting with music instruments this year has been a lot of fun, I've picked up the piano and recently I'm playing the drums as well, I can probably get a drumming kit for really cheap from a friend with the money I have saved up from work. I've performed for an audience, I'm not that good on the drums yet but they needed a drummer and I was pressured by my friends to go try. I'm looking to join a band after I pick up my drumming kit, probably play some keyboard as well, because the rush and compliments I got after performing felt amazing.
Salsa dancing every week has been fun, however my dance partner is pretty cute so I'm still nervous sometimes (especially at the start of the lesson). It's a good way for me to practice social skills and to get comfortable.
Stil learning to cook as well, we've got an oven recently which means I've got a lot more options and I'll be looking to expand my arsenal over the summer. Also got some cool new clothes and am becoming more aware of what to wear and how to match.
Self improvement
I’ve been reading books, little bit busy with school but I recently finished book of pook, and before that I read Mastery by Robert Greene.
I’m going for my drivers license, am actively learning German and recently a bit of Chinese.
I also got my shoulder mostly healed and for a month or two I’m not doing basic bodyweight exercises, pullups, pushups etc. I could do 0 pullups 2 months ago when I started, and about 5 pushups, so I started with negative pullups. Suddenly the next week I could do one pullup. Now 2 months later I can do 7 pullups, and about 10 diamond pushups. Now I’ve trained for a year before and the max I could ever do was like 2 pullups, now suddenly after training for 2 months I can do 7 pullups. And in that year I did exercises like dumbbell rows, seated rows, tbar rows etc, so it’s not like it shouldn’t have any carryover, which is a bit strange to me. Might be because I’ve lost some weight because I now weigh around 73 kg, while I used to weigh 85 kg at the start of the year. I’ve noticed some fat loss however my body hasn't changed too much, I don’t have a six pack yet and can still feel a bit of fat everywhere around my body. Not as much change as you would expect from 12kg. My goal is to get a sixpack by the end of july and from there on clean bulk.
Social
I'm generally happier and other people notice that as well, I've been way more social, trying to talk with everyone and slowly building up friendships and connections, and noticing people opening up more to me. I've been invited to 5 high school parties in the next few weeks from different social groups, which shows the progress I'm making because I used to always be the one that wasn't invited. Over the summer I'm looking to get into social media and use that to go even further.
Still no kiss or getting laid. No stress though. Im already surprised with the steps I'm taking to improve myself. I want to thank everyone that has given me advice again and I'll continue with this over the next few months.
I wouldn´t have worry about you if you realized these things at your 17.
I would definitely cut off video-games.
About workout, it´s probably one of the best things you can do for youself. Results will come, but it takes time. I would eventually think about going to martial arts gym. It could improve your physics even more, it can give you confidence and appreciation from other people. You are still young, so if you would train hard, you could become really good. I would recommend Muay Thai, it´s built on asian culture, so you could be acepted in that circle without problem.
I neither didn´t kissed girl when I was 17. I think it´s not age to be ashamed for not having experience with girls. Just keep going and it will come itself.
I would just follow the school path, it´s you advantage, that you are clever and don´t have to stady so much, so you can focus on other things and later find some alternative way to earn money.
And don´t forget to socialize. Beside hard work, you should hit some parties and clubs to meet people.
If you follow this path, I think that in 1 or 2 years, you will see incredible results.
In my country, there are not many asians or other etnics. But at high school, there was half-vietnameese guy with asian name. He was one of the best students, had really pretty girlfriends and was really good at sports.
I would definitely cut off video-games.
About workout, it´s probably one of the best things you can do for youself. Results will come, but it takes time. I would eventually think about going to martial arts gym. It could improve your physics even more, it can give you confidence and appreciation from other people. You are still young, so if you would train hard, you could become really good. I would recommend Muay Thai, it´s built on asian culture, so you could be acepted in that circle without problem.
I neither didn´t kissed girl when I was 17. I think it´s not age to be ashamed for not having experience with girls. Just keep going and it will come itself.
I would just follow the school path, it´s you advantage, that you are clever and don´t have to stady so much, so you can focus on other things and later find some alternative way to earn money.
And don´t forget to socialize. Beside hard work, you should hit some parties and clubs to meet people.
If you follow this path, I think that in 1 or 2 years, you will see incredible results.
In my country, there are not many asians or other etnics. But at high school, there was half-vietnameese guy with asian name. He was one of the best students, had really pretty girlfriends and was really good at sports.
"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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