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long distance gaming (text & phone)
#1

long distance gaming (text & phone)

I'm likely beating a dead horse here.... maybe its just for the 'challenge' / 'how-to' part of it now ... I don't know, lol.

Anyway.. had this girl interested, we live an hour apart and things were going decent (always advancing a bit) each time we saw each other for a few hours each weekend.

She stopped talking (texting primarily) to me a couple weeks ago.. no reason, I was taken off her facebook too. I didn't try to force the issue and stopped talking too. She started texting me a few days ago saying how she's been sick with the flu and thats why she hasn't been chatty. I didn't say anything about facebook (who cares about that)... but the conversations are short now... I honestly think her old bf came back, but I really don't care.

Given the situation - or any similar situation - what would most of you guys do? I do damn good with internet 'gaming' (dating sites) and have a very high rate of replies to my emails... but that's on 'initial' attraction.

attraction with this long distance girl had been made, and now its dwindling... got any good for keeping that attraction alive? building it up? driving her wild through texts? she's got some emotional crap on the go right now too... a move she's unhappy with, a friend sick in the hospital, etc. i'd like to be supportive, but not just 'nice-guy' supportive.. and don't want to bug her about getting together too much when she's got so much shit on the go.

Thoughts from the pro's? (I'm staying 'active' locally as well, so its not a big deal if she dwindles away - like I opened the message, its maybe the 'interest' in learning the how-to about this situation).

I'm tempted to just tell her to text me when she wants to get together and we'll take it from there.. but don't want her to think I'm pushing her away either.


Thanks for any input, guys!
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#2

long distance gaming (text & phone)

Quote: (01-30-2009 07:46 PM)mcr Wrote:  

I'm likely beating a dead horse here.... maybe its just for the 'challenge' / 'how-to' part of it now ... I don't know, lol.

Anyway.. had this girl interested, we live an hour apart and things were going decent (always advancing a bit) each time we saw each other for a few hours each weekend.

She stopped talking (texting primarily) to me a couple weeks ago.. no reason, I was taken off her facebook too. I didn't try to force the issue and stopped talking too. She started texting me a few days ago saying how she's been sick with the flu and thats why she hasn't been chatty. I didn't say anything about facebook (who cares about that)... but the conversations are short now... I honestly think her old bf came back, but I really don't care.

Given the situation - or any similar situation - what would most of you guys do? I do damn good with internet 'gaming' (dating sites) and have a very high rate of replies to my emails... but that's on 'initial' attraction.

attraction with this long distance girl had been made, and now its dwindling... got any good for keeping that attraction alive? building it up? driving her wild through texts? she's got some emotional crap on the go right now too... a move she's unhappy with, a friend sick in the hospital, etc. i'd like to be supportive, but not just 'nice-guy' supportive.. and don't want to bug her about getting together too much when she's got so much shit on the go.

Thoughts from the pro's? (I'm staying 'active' locally as well, so its not a big deal if she dwindles away - like I opened the message, its maybe the 'interest' in learning the how-to about this situation).

I'm tempted to just tell her to text me when she wants to get together and we'll take it from there.. but don't want her to think I'm pushing her away either.


Thanks for any input, guys!

I thoroughly read your post.
I think the wisest thing you said was when you suggested to tell her to text you when she wants to get together.

It is simple, direct, and frankly also normal, especially considering you already interacted with her several times, proving your higher value.
At this stage of the game she should be interested in meeting you, if she is emotionally available.

If you sense some resistance (for reasons NOT correlated to your game but due to her real life issues), it is very mature to simplify the scenario.

If she texts you it means she made a choice.

It is true that she might very well retreat if faced with this choice, but at least you wont waste your time with someone that has too much problems going on in her life.
Your good game can only bring you so far, then, a fundamental trait in every relationship, is the willingness and the emotional availability of the girl.

It doesnt depend on what you said and have done (at least according to what you reported).

Otherwise, I just fear the dwindling interest you perceived might be the inevitable, something meant to happen considering you two havent ever met.

If she texts you start from there.
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#3

long distance gaming (text & phone)

Just to clarify the situation.. we have met... we dated once a couple years ago now, lol. She started 'coming back' last year.. we got close to being very physical a couple times, but the location we were in wasn't suitable to continue. After that, she physically backed off a bit... and given 'life' situations and distance, we only were getting together for a few hours each week.

Then the 'silent' thing... so, like I said, I'm about ready to say 'text me when you want me'.. otherwise I'll be busy -- i just don't want to sound rude given the fact she does have other issues on the go too.
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#4

long distance gaming (text & phone)

There is no such thing as a long-distance relationship.












Period.

Fortune favors the bold.
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