So we had a discussion about money and game, and how not to throw money at women in the hopes of getting laid.
Hank didn't always have money. Frankly, if I had money when I had started out, I don't think my game would have developed as much. Being poor forced me to become more interesting and innovative. You can sweep her off her feet with some really basic ideas instead of lavish trips to Aruba.
Here are a few pointers I picked up that anyone with a job can do.
1. Buy a cool looking cheap watch. You can get a nice looking watch for $20 - $100. I recommend either getting something chrome with a big face, or something totally off the wall like a white one or an orange one, worn with something business casual. While I normally wear a Casio G-Shock because I don't care anymore, I've gotten more compliments off the cheap watches I've found in thrift stores. It just needs to look cool, not be expensive. Big gets more attention.
2. Pocket squares. Depending on your style, these go great with a suit. If you can pull it off, get something in purple or red. If you want to look like a high powered executive, go with white. Pocket squares make you stand out. It's especially effective if you are wearing a cool looking watch.
3. Decanters. You've got a cute girl coming over to your house, but you've got like $25. First, go to the thrift store and buy a decanter or two. Then go to the liquor store and buy a cheap ass box of red wine, and some cheap whiskey. Put it in a decanter, rather than serve in the bottle, and it looks like you've got something super fancy. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten laid from a bottle of Old Crow and box of Franzia served in a decanter.
4. Ethnic food. If you're going LTR or long term FWB, you can't just take her to the bar across the street from your house forever unless you're a DJ with a YouTube channel. If it gets to the point where you're going out to dinner, take her to an ethnic restaurant. They're cheap and usually BYO. Plus you look "cultured" and "interesting."
5. Dinner at home. Get her to your place by cooking dinner. My advice is to buy Tim Ferriss's "The Four Hour Chef." Get some cast iron cookware ($35 at the most). Have access to a stove. Learn how to cook some basic and tasty meals, get some cheap alcohol in a decanter, and your chances of getting laid are pretty goddamn good. Learning how to cook is one of the best investments of your time, and it saves you money. The entry to become a competent chef is like $100, plus the cost of food. If you don't learn how to cook, you're not serious about becoming a player, in my opinion.
6. Bike rides. You don't need a great bike to enjoy a bike ride. You can pick a good used one up off Craigslist for about $150. Get in some exercise, and then go shower at your place. My first bike was a Gary Fisher Marlin, which I acquired for $100. Lasted for years. Women love going on bike rides.
7. Thrift stores. When I first started my law practice, I had like $3k in the bank and one suit. Although I was embarrassed, I finally bit the bullet and decided to hit up a thrift store. Holy shit! I was amazed at how much nice shit I found in there - Armani ties, Brooks Brothers shirts, Allen Edmonds shoes, etc. If you're willing to suck it up, you can build an extremely solid wardrobe from a thrift store. Make sure to be selective about the brands, but they're there. Go to one in a rich area. A lot of times wealthy people are like "this doesn't fit, I don't care if it was expensive, take it to the thrift store." Bonus: can also be used for furniture, glassware, cookware, and almost anything else you want. You can furnish your entire wardrobe and house from a thrift store and no one could tell the difference.
8. Have a bar. I use this more as a big boy now, but you can have a fancy looking bar just by getting some tumbler / rocks glasses, wine glasses, and small cans of Coke / Diet Coke. I acquired my actual bar from an estate sale for like $20, and it turns out it's a nice piece of Century furniture. In my opinion, every man's space should have a bar, and it's not much of an investment. Minimum - rocks glasses, wine glasses, basic sodas, stirrers, bar napkins, ice bucket, and a decanter (all of which can easily be acquired at a thrift store). When a girl walks into your house, and you fix a whiskey and coke with a napkin and stirrer, the gina gets tingles. She has no idea where any of it came from.
9. Cheap Dates. Some of my favorites are ice cream, the art museum, trip to a park, hiking, a stroll through the market if you live in the city, a local bar where everyone knows you, karaoke, brewery tour, historic landmarks, etc. You'd be surprised how fun these can be if the girl is cool. Women actually love these dates, too.
10. Stereo. In terms of my house game, the best investment I've ever made is my Sonos stereo system. My living room has two Play 5s, two Play 1s for balance, and a subwoofer. I can get this place sounding like we're in a nightclub. The rest of my house is also wired, so you get music in every room. This was the best $2k I've spent in years, and the whole thing was scalable. If you can swing it, try and at least get one nice speaker. Nothing sets the mood like some good tunes and a drink that looks fancy. Even one Sonos Play 5 will have your digs sounding pretty good. It beats the shit out of playing music from your laptop.
Closing notes: Don't apologize for not having money, or be self conscious about it. The key here is to make it known that you're aspiring to something (or maybe you're also just a total fucking degenerate, which women also seem to love). When I was a young, broke aspiring lawyer just starting to build my practice women seemed to dig that. I'd rather spend my hard earned cash building my business, not throwing it at a woman who I may or may not bang.
Never admit to not having money, or complain about it. Instead, this is just what you do. You're cooler and more interesting than boring dudes who are such losers that they feel the need to "impress" by throwing around cash. You're a person who is too interesting and cultured for that. No matter how much or how little cash you have, play it close to the vest. (I do not let it come out that I have money until after the bang).
Get creative and keep it fun. To be honest, stuffy expensive restaurants are boring. I've had better times going out for ice cream and doing shots after than eating $90 steaks.
My current LTR is going through the pictures in her phone and most of the ones that she's excited about are trips in the park, the little ethnic restaurants where we ate jelly fish, ice cream, singing karaoke, the hike where we found weird stuff, etc. Not the vacation we took a few months ago or the steak dinner.
Get to know your surroundings and go off the beaten path. It takes a bit of effort. But you might actually find you've developed into a well rounded, cultured person. You'll be easily competing with guys who have money, because you're actually interesting and fun to be around.
Hank didn't always have money. Frankly, if I had money when I had started out, I don't think my game would have developed as much. Being poor forced me to become more interesting and innovative. You can sweep her off her feet with some really basic ideas instead of lavish trips to Aruba.
Here are a few pointers I picked up that anyone with a job can do.
1. Buy a cool looking cheap watch. You can get a nice looking watch for $20 - $100. I recommend either getting something chrome with a big face, or something totally off the wall like a white one or an orange one, worn with something business casual. While I normally wear a Casio G-Shock because I don't care anymore, I've gotten more compliments off the cheap watches I've found in thrift stores. It just needs to look cool, not be expensive. Big gets more attention.
2. Pocket squares. Depending on your style, these go great with a suit. If you can pull it off, get something in purple or red. If you want to look like a high powered executive, go with white. Pocket squares make you stand out. It's especially effective if you are wearing a cool looking watch.
3. Decanters. You've got a cute girl coming over to your house, but you've got like $25. First, go to the thrift store and buy a decanter or two. Then go to the liquor store and buy a cheap ass box of red wine, and some cheap whiskey. Put it in a decanter, rather than serve in the bottle, and it looks like you've got something super fancy. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten laid from a bottle of Old Crow and box of Franzia served in a decanter.
4. Ethnic food. If you're going LTR or long term FWB, you can't just take her to the bar across the street from your house forever unless you're a DJ with a YouTube channel. If it gets to the point where you're going out to dinner, take her to an ethnic restaurant. They're cheap and usually BYO. Plus you look "cultured" and "interesting."
5. Dinner at home. Get her to your place by cooking dinner. My advice is to buy Tim Ferriss's "The Four Hour Chef." Get some cast iron cookware ($35 at the most). Have access to a stove. Learn how to cook some basic and tasty meals, get some cheap alcohol in a decanter, and your chances of getting laid are pretty goddamn good. Learning how to cook is one of the best investments of your time, and it saves you money. The entry to become a competent chef is like $100, plus the cost of food. If you don't learn how to cook, you're not serious about becoming a player, in my opinion.
6. Bike rides. You don't need a great bike to enjoy a bike ride. You can pick a good used one up off Craigslist for about $150. Get in some exercise, and then go shower at your place. My first bike was a Gary Fisher Marlin, which I acquired for $100. Lasted for years. Women love going on bike rides.
7. Thrift stores. When I first started my law practice, I had like $3k in the bank and one suit. Although I was embarrassed, I finally bit the bullet and decided to hit up a thrift store. Holy shit! I was amazed at how much nice shit I found in there - Armani ties, Brooks Brothers shirts, Allen Edmonds shoes, etc. If you're willing to suck it up, you can build an extremely solid wardrobe from a thrift store. Make sure to be selective about the brands, but they're there. Go to one in a rich area. A lot of times wealthy people are like "this doesn't fit, I don't care if it was expensive, take it to the thrift store." Bonus: can also be used for furniture, glassware, cookware, and almost anything else you want. You can furnish your entire wardrobe and house from a thrift store and no one could tell the difference.
8. Have a bar. I use this more as a big boy now, but you can have a fancy looking bar just by getting some tumbler / rocks glasses, wine glasses, and small cans of Coke / Diet Coke. I acquired my actual bar from an estate sale for like $20, and it turns out it's a nice piece of Century furniture. In my opinion, every man's space should have a bar, and it's not much of an investment. Minimum - rocks glasses, wine glasses, basic sodas, stirrers, bar napkins, ice bucket, and a decanter (all of which can easily be acquired at a thrift store). When a girl walks into your house, and you fix a whiskey and coke with a napkin and stirrer, the gina gets tingles. She has no idea where any of it came from.
9. Cheap Dates. Some of my favorites are ice cream, the art museum, trip to a park, hiking, a stroll through the market if you live in the city, a local bar where everyone knows you, karaoke, brewery tour, historic landmarks, etc. You'd be surprised how fun these can be if the girl is cool. Women actually love these dates, too.
10. Stereo. In terms of my house game, the best investment I've ever made is my Sonos stereo system. My living room has two Play 5s, two Play 1s for balance, and a subwoofer. I can get this place sounding like we're in a nightclub. The rest of my house is also wired, so you get music in every room. This was the best $2k I've spent in years, and the whole thing was scalable. If you can swing it, try and at least get one nice speaker. Nothing sets the mood like some good tunes and a drink that looks fancy. Even one Sonos Play 5 will have your digs sounding pretty good. It beats the shit out of playing music from your laptop.
Closing notes: Don't apologize for not having money, or be self conscious about it. The key here is to make it known that you're aspiring to something (or maybe you're also just a total fucking degenerate, which women also seem to love). When I was a young, broke aspiring lawyer just starting to build my practice women seemed to dig that. I'd rather spend my hard earned cash building my business, not throwing it at a woman who I may or may not bang.
Never admit to not having money, or complain about it. Instead, this is just what you do. You're cooler and more interesting than boring dudes who are such losers that they feel the need to "impress" by throwing around cash. You're a person who is too interesting and cultured for that. No matter how much or how little cash you have, play it close to the vest. (I do not let it come out that I have money until after the bang).
Get creative and keep it fun. To be honest, stuffy expensive restaurants are boring. I've had better times going out for ice cream and doing shots after than eating $90 steaks.
My current LTR is going through the pictures in her phone and most of the ones that she's excited about are trips in the park, the little ethnic restaurants where we ate jelly fish, ice cream, singing karaoke, the hike where we found weird stuff, etc. Not the vacation we took a few months ago or the steak dinner.
Get to know your surroundings and go off the beaten path. It takes a bit of effort. But you might actually find you've developed into a well rounded, cultured person. You'll be easily competing with guys who have money, because you're actually interesting and fun to be around.