[BackFromTheBrink]

Summary:

Coming to the end of my LTR (7+ years). Ex is moving out but not till end of Feb. How do I handle this when it comes to women.

Detail:

My ex is buying her own place but we still live together. All being well she will move out with our 2 year old son by the end of Feb. For obvious reasons I can't invite anyone back to mine until my ex has left.

I sealed the deal with the first from OKC (36 6/10) on our second date in the back of my car last week. She had to move back in with her parents so her place is not an option.

I had my first date with the other one (37 8/10) from Tinder earlier this week. Only managed to get to second base but the chemistry was good and she seems keen to meet again. She's divorced and lives with her teenage son.

So in both cases staying at their place/s is either not possible or tricky. Told both of them that I live alone. Perhaps I should have been honest but didn't want to muddy the waters at this early stage. So, I either need to come up with something plausible or find some way to string them along till the ex actually moves out.

The only idea I have come up with so far is to tell them that my ex's house purchase was delayed and she asked to move back in temporarily as her lease ran out on the place she was renting (and the owner wants to sell). I can bitch and whine that its a real imposition but I agreed for my son's sake so I don't appear as some pussy whipped beta.

Given the time of year both of the women in question are busy and I can reasonably hold off till after new year but at some point I'm going to need to confront the issue (or is that me just being weak).

As always your advice is most welcome.

And to those celebrating Xmas ... have a merry one!

[godzilla]

(12-24-2015 05:22 PM)BackFromTheBrink Wrote:  

Summary:

Coming to the end of my LTR (7+ years). Ex is moving out but not till end of Feb. How do I handle this when it comes to women.

Detail:

My ex is buying her own place but we still live together. All being well she will move out with our 2 year old son by the end of Feb. For obvious reasons I can't invite anyone back to mine until my ex has left.

I sealed the deal with the first from OKC (36 6/10) on our second date in the back of my car last week. She had to move back in with her parents so her place is not an option.

I had my first date with the other one (37 8/10) from Tinder earlier this week. Only managed to get to second base but the chemistry was good and she seems keen to meet again. She's divorced and lives with her teenage son.

So in both cases staying at their place/s is either not possible or tricky. Told both of them that I live alone. Perhaps I should have been honest but didn't want to muddy the waters at this early stage. So, I either need to come up with something plausible or find some way to string them along till the ex actually moves out.

The only idea I have come up with so far is to tell them that my ex's house purchase was delayed and she asked to move back in temporarily as her lease ran out on the place she was renting (and the owner wants to sell). I can bitch and whine that its a real imposition but I agreed for my son's sake so I don't appear as some pussy whipped beta.

Given the time of year both of the women in question are busy and I can reasonably hold off till after new year but at some point I'm going to need to confront the issue (or is that me just being weak).

As always your advice is most welcome.

And to those celebrating Xmas ... have a merry one!

I'm guessing you can't leave the house your in now?

Don't mention your LTR and say you don't want anyone to meet your son whose at your home until its very serious. That seems reasonable. I think you can hold off for a month.

[RatInTheWoods]

You want to "take things slow" because your son visits, and you don't "introduce him to just anyone". You can use hotels and have mini-adventures away etc.

Telling a woman you still live with your ex will set the alarm bells ringing... Don't do it

[toejam]

Biggest mistake I ever made was tell the truth. Im still kicking myself I had something good going.
If I had to do it all over again I wouldnt say jack or I'd use one of the excuses above.

[barnbarn2k]

Whenever ive lived with a chick and we break up I move out. Its just too much negative energy. Inevitably the chicks new bf comes around or I couldn't bring a chick over. One month is a long time to live with someone you're broken up with. Id find a buddy to live with, or a room to rent or something. Then your problems are solved. I get it theres a kid involved, and maybe ur old place is pretty dope, or has rent control or in a great part of town. A month plus is a long time...specially during the holidays.

[HankMoody]

I'd look at this from a bigger perspective.

Eventually you start to develop a book of girls you can call on the reg. In six months or a year from now, you might even get a call from the ex.

I would take this time to recoup, go to the gym, save some money, and study game. After she's left, bring your bangs over. Alternatively, just book a hotel room and take her on a mini-vacation (which guarantees the bang). Hell, depending on your financial situation and geographical location, you can do a freaking all inclusive vacation for under $2k for two people right now.

It's just not worth being "that guy" who brought a chick home to a place where the ex was. They'll talk to people, and you'll foreclose on the chance to generate bangs on the regular.

That said, if I've learned one thing it's this - there's no hurry. There will be fresh smuts on OkCupid in a month from now and in a year from now. Women will come into your life, leave, and often come back into your life six months later.

I used to approach it all with a sense of urgency, like every smut I met might be the last one. Now I know there's no need.

[Dr. Howard]

agree with all advice given and also a caution.

Any whiff of other pussy that your ex smells on you while still living at your house is like blood in the water to a shark and she may freak out and disrupt the smooth progress of whatever plans you two may have laid out.

The best strategy is to lay low and pretend like you are celibate until she is actually gone.