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Dealing with insane ex boyfriends
#26

Dealing with insane ex boyfriends

Clearly I don't have the ability to lock a thread - my point was that the situation had been resolved on its own.

I didn't necessarily get pissed off because anybody is disagreeing with me. That's happened before elsewhere on this forum and I often get value from that. I asked specifically if anyone had a diplomatic solution that didn't entail escalating the situation and for the most part those were the exact responses I got.

I apologize to Roosh, and others, if my reaction was too dramatic and perhaps irrational. This is a very personal issue to me and there is no way you could have known that. My reaction stems from a combination of things: arriving home at around 7 AM Bangkok time in a less than sober state, an extremely vivid bad memory from this exact scenario, and yes - some frustration that I was not getting the answer I was looking for.

I'll stick to my "hey buddies here's how to get a job in Asia!" threads, as I feel I don't have much value to add to this particular part of the forum.
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#27

Dealing with insane ex boyfriends

Reading back over my initial response I'm pretty surprised at how coherently I write when I'm wasted.
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#28

Dealing with insane ex boyfriends

Quote: (06-29-2011 10:39 PM)youngmobileglobal Wrote:  

I didn't necessarily get pissed off because anybody is disagreeing with me. That's happened before elsewhere on this forum and I often get value from that. I asked specifically if anyone had a diplomatic solution that didn't entail escalating the situation and for the most part those were the exact responses I got.

The problem here is that diplomatic solutions are only possible between equals. In your case it looks like he believes he has advantage over you, and can do whatever he wants while your only option would be to accept it. There is no diplomatic solution possible in this kind of situation until you balance the scale by showing him you would stand your ground.

Basically the way you presented it the situation looks like he has 100% control over it - he comes to you and bitches about it, and you accept. Then he comes and apologizes, and you accept. Now I don't care about all that alpha/beta bullshit, but such behavior won't earn you any respect from him or anyone else around who witnessed it. If you let other people disrespect you without consequences, after a while nobody will respect you.

Now if you want to address the violence issue, you can say something like that: dude, you want to fight me? What for? It would only make things worse for you. Even if you kick my ass, you will lose my respect because people who resort to violence to resolve disagreements are kind of people with a strong body but weak mind. It work between monkeys because they have no brain, but we're not monkeys, we live in society which has rules and it punishes those who break them. So, you gonna lose my respect, and once the word gets out, you will lose the respect of other people around as well. Not to mention you'd have a good chance to spend some time in Thai prison and will get kicked out of the country.

It may also be worth discussing the situation with your sensei since it affects your training. They are usually very sensitive toward possible violence between the students outside the training area, as it never brings anything good to the training camp.
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#29

Dealing with insane ex boyfriends

Lol this thread was awesome.

This is another point of departure form me and the experience of others in the community, but game has gotten me into a TON of fights. Even at 30 years old, and in different crowds, there is always somebody with hurt feelings for one reason or another.

Interestingly enough, I've also been to bjj camps and two MT camps, and every guy there I met was very nice and friendly. Those environments are very social IME.

Especially in cities and areas like Socal where gender ratios are skewed, you will get into a lot of beef if you are out gaming hardcore. OP's case is odd because he wasn't even chasing the girl.
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