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Reconnecting with old FWB
#1

Reconnecting with old FWB

I've been going through a pretty bad slump lately, so I've started trying to reconnect with a couple of the old FWB's I met over the summer who faded on me. I restarted with the one I liked best and she seemed interested in chatting, after a few texts I sent her:

"hey, I'm free this weekend. why don't you meet me at XXXX bar. I'll get you a 'free drink' (some restrictions apply, void where prohibited, limited time offer)"

where I know 'XXXX' is a spot about 2 miles from her place.

her: "hahaha, thanks soooo much for that very generous offer. I'm working both nights but I'm trying to get out early"

me: "cool, see you then"

So things are a little ambiguous at this point, but I'm guessing if I can play it right she's down for it. Any suggestions here? I've never successfully pulled off a round two.

Honestly I'd rather be hooking up with new women, but again, slump. One does what one must, and she likes it on her face so I'd rather this opportunity doesn't slip away...
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#2

Reconnecting with old FWB

The response on her part seemed like a nice brush off.

She isn't stupid, she knows why you connected with her again.

Next.

Time to approach new targets.

Gym
Mall - its Xmas so they should be packed with chicks.
Clubs/Bars
Starbucks

You catch the drift.

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#3

Reconnecting with old FWB

Rudebwoy is right, anytime an old plate or fuck hits me up, I know she wants to fuck.

Girls know the same thing.

Stop going back to old shit unless you've been spinning them as plates.

You can find another bitch to blow your load on her face - you just need to keep on gaming.

You have some scarcity mentality right now, you should be using all avenues to connect with new girls.
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#4

Reconnecting with old FWB

Thanks. The bar I suggested is actually a decent place in and of itself that I was planning going to anyway, so I figure if she doesn't show I haven't really lost much?
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#5

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-16-2015 02:13 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Thanks. The bar I suggested is actually a decent place in and of itself that I was planning going to anyway, so I figure if she doesn't show I haven't really lost much?

That's fine and dandy, but don't go out of your way to set something up.

Just hit her up a day before or the day of meeting, DON'T go chasing her.
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#6

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-16-2015 02:26 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Just hit her up a day before or the day of meeting, DON'T go chasing her.

Copy that
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#7

Reconnecting with old FWB

Exactly

You shouldn't be trying to sell yourself to a former bang, hopefully your sex game had already made a compelling enough case for a follow-up.

She already knows how you put it down, so it comes down to whether or not those were fond memories, or if she gets horny enough

With past bangs you leave the door cracked, and leave it up to come walking through it or not

Minimum effort if any at all

MDP
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#8

Reconnecting with old FWB

Make sure that for every ten minutes you spend texting, talking, etc. with her you are spending at least 3x that amount on new girls. A healthy multiplier for you at this stage should be closer to 10x, but for one week keep track to make sure you are not getting carried away.

You might be surprised by how good girls are at raping your time.

If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.

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#9

Reconnecting with old FWB

^ This I totally disagree with, don't even give her a minute of your time.

Going back to girls shows desperation, now she has the power. To be honest, if your sex game was on point you would have got a stronger answer.

She has options, better yet options that are better than you.

Get prepared for NYE, one of the great nights of the year to hunt for gals.

Sidenote: We have ALL been in your shoes.

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#10

Reconnecting with old FWB

Thanks for the advice, gentlemen.

One thing I'll add, is that as I've gotten older I seem to have put somewhat more emphasis on a woman having some self-awareness/intelligence/pleasant demeanor over just straight looks, and the former is something this girl seems to at least has some of.

I was out at one of the bars I go to the other night practicing, and this blonde girl, younger and more conventionally attractive than the girl above, put her arm on my back as she was looking at the drink menu.

I of course started trying to push the interaction and close on something, but I faltered badly when I started hearing the words that were coming out of her mouth. Her voice and personality just seemed unbearable.

Maybe it's just rationalization on my part, I guess this is something I have to work on if I want to bang girls in their early 20s and I don't want to fall into the trap of the "I have standards" excuse, but in terms of "abundance mentality" yeah, vapid twats seem to be pretty abundant, but after all the shit I've been through in life I seem to suffer from a bit of cultural alienation, so it can be difficult to deal with.

Keep in mind that I haven't been hitting up night game venues regularly in a good 8 years, and both myself and the world has changed a lot since then.
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#11

Reconnecting with old FWB

In this game, there are no excuses.

There are no shoulders to cry on, just keep moving.

If you don't like night game, try day game or Starbucks game.

Young gals are dumb, so play dumb.

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#12

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-16-2015 02:13 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Thanks. The bar I suggested is actually a decent place in and of itself that I was planning going to anyway, so I figure if she doesn't show I haven't really lost much?

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#13

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-16-2015 01:55 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

I've been going through a pretty bad slump lately, so I've started trying to reconnect with a couple of the old FWB's I met over the summer who faded on me. I restarted with the one I liked best and she seemed interested in chatting, after a few texts I sent her:

"hey, I'm free this weekend. why don't you meet me at XXXX bar. I'll get you a 'free drink' (some restrictions apply, void where prohibited, limited time offer)"

where I know 'XXXX' is a spot about 2 miles from her place.

her: "hahaha, thanks soooo much for that very generous offer. I'm working both nights but I'm trying to get out early"

me: "cool, see you then"

So things are a little ambiguous at this point, but I'm guessing if I can play it right she's down for it. Any suggestions here? I've never successfully pulled off a round two.

Honestly I'd rather be hooking up with new women, but again, slump. One does what one must, and she likes it on her face so I'd rather this opportunity doesn't slip away...

Actually, I read this a lot differently than the rest of the thread. I see her response as her enjoying your text, responding in a similar manner and leaving the option that she's trying to get out early so in that case she could join you.

I didn't think your response was amazing but it wasn't half bad. If/when it makes sense to follow up I'd go with a picture of a drink she likes with the caption, "ditch work"

You can also fuck with her about how the "free drink" is actually more of a "misappropriated drink" or something along those lines if you can pull off that sense of humor.

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#14

Reconnecting with old FWB

^ I sort of read it that way as well. I haven't sent her a thing since then...with this one I fear I have to leave her spinning until the last possible moment if I'm going to get anywhere.

Also I'd like to see if I could hit it off with someone else at another place nearby and at least get some contact info before she shows up...[Image: banana.gif]
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#15

Reconnecting with old FWB

She's not interested, her response was rejection. Move on and forget this one.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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#16

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-18-2015 07:49 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

She's not interested, her response was rejection. Move on and forget this one.

Yup! You were right. I hit her up from the bar last night and got dead silence.

At least I didn't waste any effort in going to a spot I wasn't already planning to.
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#17

Reconnecting with old FWB

Quote: (12-19-2015 10:09 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Quote: (12-18-2015 07:49 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

She's not interested, her response was rejection. Move on and forget this one.

Yup! You were right. I hit her up from the bar last night and got dead silence.

You sound like an old version of myself. It will take more experiences like this to learn to read the signs. Your pride will have taken a hit but you will be better for it.

Quote:Quote:

At least I didn't waste any effort in going to a spot I wasn't already planning to.

I think this is a good lesson for you. Avoid making assumptions, learn to read the signs, and never make plans to meet someone a girl without actual confirmation. And even then, always have a backup plan - or four. Be the man that allows these experiences to roll off your back. Just because one option didn't pan out doesn't mean your others will.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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#18

Reconnecting with old FWB

Well, gentlemen...I don't know whether it's good or bad that I had a Saturday which goes against your wisdom and experience...but...

I wasn't too impressed with the bar I mentioned previously the last couple times I went, but I decided to give it one more shot before the holidays.

Damn, what a difference a couple of days makes. The spot was getting populated at around 10 PM, and I took a brief look inside and it didn't look like a total sausagefest, so I decided to stay.

I had talked to the bouncer a bit the last time I was there, so I gave him a small tip for the holidays. The hipsters around there must never do it because he looked like the happiest man in the world, and he showed me right in and I managed to grab a place at the bar.

The female bartenders were all 7-8s...the dark haired one spent the evening giving me a bit of attitude and sarcastic comments but I played right along. WB.

The place got packed as time went on and the ratio kept getting better, I did a quick count and it was definitely at least 1:1 by around 10:30. Out of maybe 50 or 60 I spotted perhaps two fat girls and that's it. Most of the guys there didn't seem like they had much game and were a bit of a mix between hipsters and striped shirt finance bros. My look is different from all that and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I think that's good.

Plenty of groups of women in twos and threes; girls were almost opening me. I spent about 20 minutes chatting with one at the bar and took her number as she left early and I wanted to stay, another girl asked me for a light outside and I worked her for a bit, but she was there with some dudes from her work and I had no opportunity to escalate, she bounced me when I asked for info. Oh well.

It was really shooting fish in a barrel, though. I probably could have run five more approaches before closing time, but pushing midnight I get the following text from guess who:

"hey. sorry I didn't get back to you but I just couldn't get away last night. do you want to stop by if you're around?"

I was at her place inside ten minutes, and laid it down harder than ever for the next two hours.

Total cost for the evening including tip, a couple cheap beers, and a very enjoyable light meal at the bar surrounded by attractive young women: 26 bucks.

Maybe not my ideal way to close out the year, but I'll take it.
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#19

Reconnecting with old FWB

It happens. Can't hurt to keep your line out waiting for a bite, just don't keep your expectations high.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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#20

Reconnecting with old FWB

Uh oh! Now she's been texting me with "you know I like you but what we did sort of didn't make me feel good and..."

Ugh. She has her good points, but I think it would be unwise to press this any further. The last thing I want is for her to "not feel good" right into a false rape charge the next time.

Time to eject.
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#21

Reconnecting with old FWB

And this is why you move onto greener pastures, to avoid shit like this, run some comfort and reinforcement game, and slowly disappear
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