[nomadbrah]

I don't know about you, but having a motorcycle and getting out on the road is the most liberating thing there is. Nothing feels better than sticking it to the nanny state, it's rules and bs, and just going ahead on the road, can literally feel the freedom. I can only imagine what it felt like to ride a horse in the old wild west frontier, but I wager they felt it too.

Having your own means of transportation is definitely integral to a man's wellbeing or at least for me. Without I feel literally stuck and subject to whims of totalitarian bureacrats. I only wish I could have guns too.

[Onto]

Rontgengurz, The driver's license is a great first step in building your new identity.

Don't worry about starting over at 27. I did exactly that when I was 27 and at 45 yrs I'm in a better position than many men my age.

It's been said, "the second best time to plant a tree is today."

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Man - you are just in a mental rut, that makes things look way worse than they are.

First of all - probably most older chaps would love to be in your position.
For a man you are super young.

Here the positive side about your situation:

1. You are 27 year old man. That's equivalent to a 17 year old girl. The sky is the limit in terms of accomplishments - you can study whatever you want. If you are in Europe, then you can do it even for free. You could become even a doctor if that is your goal. I know some who started later in life - even one who began medical studies at 45, finished at 53 and is still working.

2. You do have the ability for self-discipline and quite some resolve. It shows in your goals that you achieved playing semi-pro video games, which is no easy feat even for those who do it 10 hours/day.

3. Your body is also in excellent shape, so you don't have to lose 200 pounds like other guys in far worse situations. Also it seems that you are reasonably good-looking, so you can count yourself blessed in that department.

4. Also your mind is likely above average in intelligence, so keep that in mind. Most men have to work with much less.

5. Yes - you are likely socially stunted, but so what? That can be remedied very quickly. Also in terms of girls you can become better and have come to the right place.

My recommendations:

1. Meditation/contemplation/visualisation techniques - simple tools to make yourself focused. Imagine yourself as you want to be, exactly how you feel your life is going to be or better put - how you will feel when you are the person you can be. Also - if you are concerned about getting love (from women or friends), don't focus on getting love - just fill your heart with love - visualize the love you feel for a pet, family member, a close friend. An open heart can be trained - if you are a loving guy, then love comes running to you anyway.

2. Set goals just as with your body - small steps, mid-level steps and long-term ones with visualization. If you feel hopeless for the long-term ones then just focus on small steps - next day until you feel more self-confident again.

3. Game theory - ability to deal with women. Buy good Game literature like Roosh's books - Bang and Day Bang (indirect Day Game), then Nick Krauser's books on direct Daygame. Also I recommend buying Rollo Tomassi's books or reading his site rationalmale. The knowledge within those works will give you a good grounding on Game technicality as well as frame basics.

4. Game - practical application. If possible contact a forum member in your vicinity and then meet up - he will be able to give you some pointers. It may be useful if you do a bootcamp. If you are in Europe then the London Daygame crew with daygame.com and Tom Torrero is a good choice for bootcamps. Bootcamps can speed up your learning process - you can do it without, but it certainly helps if you can spare a few hundred $. Rather stay away from RSD (some videos are fine, but their approach is a bit limited).

If you stick even remotely to the tips your life will change massively. You are not the first guy who quickly turned his life around here - Greenman (3000 approaches and virgin in his 30s) comes to mind or another fellow who very rapidly found himself a girlfriend after we helped him discover his masculine self (he just had some strange mannerisms and had no clue about how to talk with women (Game)).

You can PM me. By the way - posting your pics here or elsewhere will get the member banned instantly. We take privacy issues seriously here.

If you say which country you are from, then it's easier to assess your economic and educational opportunities, because those differ immensely around the globe or even in the West.

[Rontgennurz]

Thanks alot for all the help.

Do any of you guys have any idea how to develop a social circle basicly from scratch? I have like no friends left and I feel it is starting to affect me on a mental level.

[Speculation]

Meetup.com is my goto for generating a new social network out of nothing. Regularly attending events with the same group is not only a good way to socialise yourself, but exposure to new people helps drag your mind out of the rut that isolation generates.

Start out with the casual bar meetups and move onto special interest groups once you get a feel for the site and its culture. My only advice is to check the attendees list before RSVPing because you want people of a similiar age. Meetup groups sometimes lean towards old people post divorce in their 40's-50's.

Ideally you'd want something with an even mix of men/women (preferably foreign/new to town women). Regular exposure to women is good for the soul and even if you're not ready to start gaming I strongly recommend you make casual friends with a few girls for your emotional health.

[doc holliday]

Lot of great advice here Rontgennurz. The key is to start. Start by doing one thing out of all these great ideas, say getting your drivers licence. I saw a suggestion about getting a motorcycle which is a fantastic idea once you get your licence. The feeling of liberation you'll get from those two things will inspire you to add a third, then a fourth etc and before too long all these little things will snowball. You're already jacked, so jacked, on a motorcycle with some confidence and you'll be well on your way. It won't happen if you don't start though so get moving. NOW.

[roberto]

I'm struggling to understand how someone who lifts regularly and has the discipline to have been doing this for 8 years could be in such a situation. The number one advice given on here to most guys in OP's situation is 'hit the weights and eat right'. Have you never left the gym pumped, seen a pretty girl on the way home who noticed you, and felt that surge of andrenaline propelling you to even greater things?

Have you not even engaged with other guys in your gym? If you really are jacked, then you are on a level with most of the regulars and potentially a valuable source of advice to starting gym goers. Or are Scandinavian gyyms very different to Brit ones? I'd have thought your social circle would start there as it's the place you spend the most time next to your bedroom.

Good luck bro, if you're genuine, we're all here for you.

[Rontgennurz]

I think Im struggling with some kind of "depression".

[Rontgennurz]

(12-18-2015 04:05 AM)roberto Wrote:  

I'm struggling to understand how someone who lifts regularly and has the discipline to have been doing this for 8 years could be in such a situation. The number one advice given on here to most guys in OP's situation is 'hit the weights and eat right'. Have you never left the gym pumped, seen a pretty girl on the way home who noticed you, and felt that surge of andrenaline propelling you to even greater things?

Have you not even engaged with other guys in your gym? If you really are jacked, then you are on a level with most of the regulars and potentially a valuable source of advice to starting gym goers. Or are Scandinavian gyyms very different to Brit ones? I'd have thought your social circle would start there as it's the place you spend the most time next to your bedroom.

Good luck bro, if you're genuine, we're all here for you.

Working out for me is not something I do cause I "have to", hence it becomes very easy to keep going. Its not "work" for me, Its a huge hobby.

Scandinavian people are usually pretty "cold" and dont engage so much in conversation with strangers, but yeah some people talk to me sometimes but it stops at that. I havent ever learnt how to make friendships, in school you got friends automaticly due to meeting them every day cause of the school system, after school I have never made a new friend, Im not just good at it.

[Going strong]

(12-19-2015 03:57 PM)Rontgennurz Wrote:  

I think Im struggling with some kind of "depression".

Rontgennurz, I've been told that depression is a real sickness, so, I respect your pledge.

But, at the same time, I don't really appreciate your (saddening) posts on this thread.

Because, man... you are young (27), in perfect health (lifting, powerful), well-paid at your job ("not working long hours but earning good hourly pay"), not experiencing hunger or coldness (free accommodation and food at your parents' house), not a virgin (currently not getting sex, but having had a gf, recently)... So, are you aware that you are better off than 95% of the people on this planet?

So, my advice:

1-- go volunteer in a hospital in your city. Understand how lucky you are.

2-- travel to the Philippines. See good, honest, God-fearing people living in the gutter. Understand how lucky you are.

Also, it might do you good to be a little less self-centered (on your suffering)... Try to have other interests in life than your own self-inflicted problems. (God, first time in the year I speak almost like a leftist!)

[Rontgennurz]

^^ I know man, logically speaking, looking at the "paper", I have all the basic stuff. Like Im not horribly ugly, ill or old, but yet it feels so hopeless when I for example look on facebook and see all people partying it up having the time of their life with friends, and here I am, watching it all go by doing nothing.

Maybe Its just something checmical in my brain after all this time being alone, I dont know, but I will really try to fix this, moving to an own apartment and getting drivers licence is of priority I think.

[Saga]

(12-19-2015 04:42 PM)Rontgennurz Wrote:  

when I for example look on facebook and see all people partying it up having the time of their life with friends

Social media is a personalized marketing campaign; treat their smiles like the smiles you see in commercials: none of it is real.

[Cheetah]

Interesting top "Possibly related" thread...

[EvanWilson]

Failure at 27? Impossible, you have so much time left. Imagine starting over at almost 60 with nothing!

I do not know if you ever heard of him, but one economist that I started reading his work last year, Ludwig von Mises, had to escape from Europe in 1940 when he was almost 60, and start all over in the United States. In the flight from his home in Vienna to Geneva he lost all of his papers, and his lives work was destroyed when the Nazi's raided his apartment. Lu or Ludwig had two 'strikes against him, he was Jewish, which is never good for one when they ran into Nazi's; but on top of that his work argued against state control and planning of an economy; so even if he wasn't Jewish he would have still been consider an enemy of the state since his work argued against total government control of the economy.

https://mises.org/library/our-escape-europe

[Suits]

(12-17-2015 08:35 PM)Rontgennurz Wrote:  

Thanks alot for all the help.

Do any of you guys have any idea how to develop a social circle basicly from scratch? I have like no friends left and I feel it is starting to affect me on a mental level.

I've done this repeatedly in the last decade, since I moved around a lot.

Join clubs, work a job, go out on the street or to a shopping mall and talk to random people. When you know some people, start organizing and hosting social events. Invite the people you know to invite their friends.

And remember, people usually engage in friendship because they see some value to be gained from doing so with the person in question. Be sure to present yourself as someone with value to distribute -- don't come across as desperate for friendship. Basically, learn game.

[wi30]

^Exactly. I've made lifelong buddies from places I've worked, playing sports, even living in an apartment with random roommates. You have to put yourself out there. If you meet a dude who seems cool, get his number and grab a beer sometime. Watch the movie "I Love You Man" with Paul Rudd and do the exact opposite.

OP, you don't sound socially awkward or anything, just in a deep rut. I had an old roommate who was a super into video games and he basically gamed and drank himself into a spiraling depression. He would lock himself in his room playing minecraft and call of duty and only come out to go to the bathroom or grab more beer from the fridge. Wouldn't shower for days at a time and would only leave the house to get food or buy more beer.

Throw away your gaming console immediately. It has served it's purpose in the past but has no place in your life from here on out. I don't own a console and don't have cable TV. The only time I use my laptop is when I'm on RVF. My free time is spent out living life or relaxing and reading non-fiction books when I am home.

[Rontgennurz]

Yes I would not classify myself as "social awkward" at all, and this is true - not just something I say cause I dont "wanna see myself in a negative view" - Im pretty damn good at just that anyway lol.

I had lots of friends in high school and all that, so Im not socially awkward or looked upon as some weirdo.


I would say Im pretty good at reading social situations, people and even myself, Im an analyser at heart and I would say the impression people get from me is that Im a "cool guy", probably popular, probably not bad with the ladies, and a rather strong but arrogant type. Ive heard before that people think I seem "arrogant", even when I havent ever spoken to them. Its just the impression they get by the way Im carrying myself and my "look", I would also say some will get intimidated by me, mostly girls ofcourse.

Little do they know Im a friendless loser who havent banged a girl in years, oh the irony ...

[malakaix]

(12-19-2015 04:42 PM)Rontgennurz Wrote:  

but yet it feels so hopeless when I for example look on facebook and see all people partying it up having the time of their life with friends, and here I am, watching it all go by doing nothing

C'mon now, I'm sure you know that people only post what they want other's to see on Facebook, everyone is marketing themselves.

Also, everything you tell yourself is just a narrative that you continually reinforce. It's a matter of perspective, everyone has negative aspects of their life but they also have positive aspects too. If you focus on what you don't have or what isn't working then that becomes your narrative and it will only serve to keep you in that place.

I can relate, which is why I'm taking the time to respond.

I'm a year younger then yourself but in the last year I moved back with the folks to save money, prior to this I had been living overseas and had a wide circle of friends and women on the side. Now I have neither of those and I'm back in the feminist hell of Australia, I have no formal higher education beyond some minor study after school and I work a terrible warehousing job.

I too look back on the past in nostalgia, there was a period where I played games competitively in my younger years and like yourself, those were some of the best years. But it was a snapshot in time which can never be repeated or re-lived.. knowing this forces you to move forward.

You need a concrete long-term goal, and then work your life around that. Because that goal will become the foundation to a particular lifestyle in which everything else will gravitate around, the issue of friends and women will come easily once this is cemented in place.

[Phoenix]

The fuck is this pity party? Is this RVF? Perhaps someone should offer OP a nice warm blanket and say "ssshh sshhh everything will be OK!".

This dude clearly has some kind of helplessness fetish. Just look at the language he's using. He doesn't need any more mother's hugs, he needs father's ass-kicking.

Well I've already said my piece on this. So has QC. Still waiting for OP to post the concrete actions he has made recently to improve his situation...

[wi30]

OP sent me multiple pictures and he's fucking ripped. He looks like what many of us aspire to be. I partially blame his helpless mentality on the toxic feminist environment of Sweden. I hope he doesn't mind me mentioning which country he's in, but it explains a lot.

His looks and genetics are great, but genetics can't overcome a defeatist attitude. I gave him some advice through PM on getting involved in the community and building connections in his town. He reminds me of my old roommate who had similar problems. I tried to help him but it ruined our friendship. At least OP is here trying to improve his life. I can work with that.

Phoenix, I agree with you, but every man is at a different stage of awakening. We've given him concrete advice, and it's up to him to utilize it or wallow in self pity. We will see in the coming days if he is ready to step up to the plate.

I hope Rontgennurz hits a fucking home run and becomes RVF's most improved player. He has the tools to make it happen.

[Travesty]

^ Yeah you need to have the mindset that you deserve every good looking piece of ass and every good looking piece of ass wants to get hit by you before a body means much.

[Rontgennurz]

thanks for your pm wi30 Ill answer tomorrow.

And yes travesty body dont mean much if you do nothing with it. Ive had hot swedish girls basicly begging me to sleep with them, but for some weird reason I didnt want to, Ive lost a couple of chanses cause I just didnt feel worthy of it, I dont fucking know man I obviously have very low self esteem and dont feel worthy.

[Travesty]

Man you Scandanavian dudes got a full stack of cards in the looks and height department and your culture finds a way to screw you out of it.

Honestly we as Americans have it pretty amazing with genes, resources, earning power, creativity, and game awareness we get handed by living here as far as world game is concerned. We don't have that anti-social robotic Nordic culture.

I am wondering who has it better on average as a world starting point probably nobody. I am really not sure maybe than some upper-middle and upper class Brazilians or French guys (well used to be before the migration). All the other Anglo guys seem like they deal with more shit than we do except maybe the Scottish. Although Serbians and Romanians don't seem to have it too bad.

[Rontgennurz]

Seems like brazilian guys are very low inhibition and aggressive, great with chicks in general. We scandinavians are fucking pathetic, Ive known so extremely good looking male model freddie ljungberg type dudes who has to settle with 5s or 6s cause they are so beta and fragile in their attitude.

[Travesty]

^ So how difficult would you say it will be in 2016 for a American with game to come to Scandanavia and bang hot girls, who is good looking, but not on the model looks levels of Ludvig and Viktor?

The forum was pretty high on Scandanavia until 2012 or so then the complaints started rolling in.