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Camping for Playboys
#1

Camping for Playboys

Camping is the shit.

Hit up a group of girls you want to bang, inject other cool dudes in the mix, drive out to nowhere, and let the fun commence. Girls will almost always agree to a camping trip, especially if they own a tent (most do, as music festivals are becoming more popular). Camping is a fantastic way to get some girls in a place overnight, have some booze, and then cuddle up at the end of the night.

In terms of game, it demolishes any logistical problems you might have. They're with you in an overnight situation, where the booze overfloweth, and everyone is having fun. You get to choose exactly who is coming in terms of competition. Even better - if you tell a girl "let's go get a hotel room", she hears that as "let's go bang." But if you tell a girl "let's go camping" she hears it as "let's go on an adventure together!"

I write this because growing up, I was raised by a single mother. Our idea of a vacation was to go down the shore, rent a house for a week, and then play on the beach. I didn't have a father figure growing up, so camping was never a "thing".

Ironically, my ex-wife (raised by a military veteran) got me into camping. At first I was like "that sounds stupid, I don't poop in the woods, blah blah blah", and now it's one of my favorite pastimes.

Booze, cigars, campfire, meat over an open flame, and nature are some of life's greatest pleasures. It's something you can do with your guy friends, or you can bring some ladies with you. I've never had a bad camping trip.

Here is the good news:

- Camping is easy to get into
- It's cheap as hell
- You'll get bangs, enjoy yourself, and do manly things like chop wood, smoke cigars, and build a fire

This is a basic guide for weekend camping. It's not meant to teach you how to hike all over the country, but just the basics to take long weekends in the woods.

Basic Concepts

- Get to the camp site early enough to setup while it's light out. You don't want to be setting up in the dark.
- Do not setup camp on a day where it's raining.
- Don't halfass setting up your tent, because if rain gets in it, you're fucked. Getting the rainfly right is the most important part.
- It gets cold at night, even if it's like 70 degrees out during the day. Pack hats, gloves, blankets, etc. Sleeping bag is a must.
- It gets dark out earlier than you would think.
- You can never have enough firewood or water. If you have extra, just store it at home.
- Basic necessities are water, shelter from the rain, and heat

Absolute Necessities

- A tent ($120 - $400. I have a 4 season tent but I camp a lot. 2 and 3 season tents are cheaper, but meant for spring, summer, and fall. Bigger tents are hard to keep warm, so I camp in a 2 person tent. Huge tents are for hunters, or people with kids. Women tend to buy huge tents because most of their camping is at festivals - the good news is they'll usually wind up in yours by the end of the night because 'it's so cold in mine.')
- Hygiene bag (small bag for keeping your deodorant, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.)
- A sleeping bag ($40 - $120. If it's cold where you live, get one rated for 0 degrees, or even lower).
- Water jug ($15)
- Axe ($15 - $30)
- A flashlight ($3 - $40. I have one that I wear on my head)
- Cooler ($20 - nothing fancy is needed).
- Fire wood ($8 a bundle, you'll go through a few bundles each night)
- Lighter ($2 - $20. I have a zippo)
- Long skewers ($5, if you're not bringing any cookware)
- Cantean ($5, if you're not brining a CamelBak, any type of Nalgene or water jug will do as long as it fits in your backpack)
- Backpack ($15 - $300. I have many backpacks for different situations, but a normal canvas one will do just fine).
- Knife ($20 - $150. Any knife will do as long as it's not a butter knife. Personally, I use a military ka-bar. Check your state's regulations on knives, as they vary).
- Toiletpaper (if the campground doesn't have running water and bathrooms).
- Trash bags or plastic bags to store trash (most campgrounds have a dumpster where you can throw your stuff out each morning)
- Roll of paper towels, or rags

Not absolutely necessary, but makes it much more enjoyable

- Air mattress ($40 - $75, plus a pump)
- Propane stove (when you wake up in the morning and want to make coffee, but don't feel like starting a fire)
- Fold up chair ($20)
- Steel cup for coffee, chili, whatever ($12. preferably one you can put right over the fire and then throw instant coffee into).
- CamelBak backpack (so you can hike and carry water with you)
- Portable phone charger ("We're not gonna use our phones all weekend!" Yeah, right.)
- Propane heater for your tent (personally, I think these are for weenies).
- Portable speaker ($20 - $200. I use a Milwaukee 2792-20 M18 Jobsite Radio/Charger, but any speaker will do).
- Leatherman tool (has a knife, can opener, ruler, pliers, and everything. Every man should own one of these).
- Cast iron skillet (the same stuff I camp with is the same stuff I cook with at home).
- Picnic tent ($120, I don't own one, but it allows you to put a tent over your picnic table and store more stuff outside).
- Ka-Bar military knife: Cut meat, look boss
- Mountain bikes (if you have a bike rack on your car. This is kind of a pain in the ass).
- Cigars (good ones, not philly blunts)

All can be bought here: http://www.cabelas.com

If you're poor, here: http://www.walmart.com

Food

Random note... women are very picky about eating, and they have to eat something every hour or so or they start freaking out. I do not know why this is.

In any event, fill your cooler with some ice and throw stuff in there.

This is the stuff I bring for me and my guy friends:

- Booze (Box of wine for the ladies, whiskey for the men, beer if you drink it)
- Coconuts (break them open by smashing them on a log, then cook them in your skillet)
- Avocados
- Instant coffee (I also put this in my protein shakes)
- Bacon, eggs
- Smoked hunter's sausage (for eating on the go)
- Tunafish (not cans, but the pouches, also for eating on the go)
- Steak, brats, etc. for cooking at night
- Texas chili (made at home)
- Almonds
- Hard boiled eggs

Almost everything meat based tastes good when cooked in a skillet over an open fire.

*Note: Store this stuff in your car when you go to sleep so animals don't try and get it. Even if it's in a cooler.

*Note: Women eat very differently than men, and they need to eat like every hour or they start getting "hangry." Bring with you the following:

- Sandwich bread, sliced cheese, veggie burgers, pop tarts, cookies, lunch meat, trail mix (with chocolate), Chobani yogurt, stuff for smores (chocolate bars, marshmallows, and graham crackers), fruit, etc. Basically, imagine you are bringing a 5 year old with you who doesn't like adult food and pretends to be a vegetarian.

How do I find a camp site? I don't want to poop in the woods, etc etc.

Cost of a campground is usually about $40 for the weekend, and most hold two or three tents. Meaning you can have around 6 for $40.

Many campgrounds have showers and bathrooms with running water if you care about that stuff. Call ahead and ask. If there are no bathrooms and you're finicky about outhouses, just don't eat all that much food and you won't poop all that much. If at all.

Most campgrounds also come with a fire pit, a picnic table, and a fire pit for cooking.

Hiking

- Make sure to get a trail map so you don't get lost (they're free)
- Make sure to bring enough water with you, so you don't die. CamelBak backpacks are perfect for hiking.
- Make sure you know when it gets dark out, and plan accordingly. Hiking in the dark is dangerous.
- Follow the "blazes", which should be marked on your trail map (blazes are splotches of paint on the trees that are different colors. Follow them, and do not go off the trail).
- Bring "snack food", especially if women are coming with you, because they eat constantly. They'll bitch that you've walked a mile, it took almost a half hour, and they've had nothing to eat since breakfast which was over an hour ago.

Clothing

Look the part! Women dig lumberjacks.

- Bandana (I rock a buff. Keeps sweat off your face, looks cool, is good for the gym, etc).
- Red and black flannel shirt
- Utility pants or man jeans
- Boots (I wear Chippewas). Do not attempt to hike in dress shoes, dock siders, flip flops, etc. At minimum for easy hikes sneakers are fine, but bona fide hiking boots are much better. I've never liked hiking sandals, either.
- Wool hat and gloves (if it's cold out)
- Hiking socks (to keep your feet warm)
- Dress warm, and then scale back if need be. You will never regret having too much heat.
- Camouflage hat / pants / anything
- Thermal underwear is helpful if it's cold out, like 50 and under

Impress your friends and the women around you

Here is a fool proof method for starting a fire:






[Image: Upside_Down_Fire3.jpg]

Biggest logs on the bottom (full logs) going one direction, smaller ones on top of those, kindling on the top. If you're lazy, just throw some fire starter in the middle of it.

You look like a manly genius by starting fires so easily.

If you really want to AMOG, let some of the guys try and start one. Then step in and be like "No, this is how it's done."

Final Thoughts

- I buy the good stuff because it lasts forever, and you can use it every year. Some of it you can use in real life, like the cast iron skillets. If you're into survivalism, well, this is the stuff you need.

- Women tend to want to bring a lot of stuff. I don't. I bring my tent, sleeping bag, cooler with food, flashlight, speaker, clothes, a few reusable plates, a skillet, and hygiene bag. I have a backpack just for camping where I store most of my stuff for grab and go purposes.

Personally, I find camping way more fun than going to a resort or renting a beach house. It's also a fantastic way to get a bunch of girls to hang out for a weekend, or just spend some time with the guys.
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#2

Camping for Playboys

Great data sheet. Camping is definitely a great way to bang. All the things you bring sound pretty good. One thing I didn't see were trash bags. I always carry those whenever I go out to the woods.

Never been to a camp ground where I had to pay money. I'm usually out in the middle of nowhere with some buddies and some girls.

Didn't really think about the clothing being a big deal for women. Sounds pretty good to me if it gets chilly. I remember one year when I was out camping when it was pretty cold, I had on a flannel shirt and some jeans with flannel sewed into the inside. Perfect for staying warm, didn't feel a thing and didn't look terrible either.

One thing I do carry if I go camping in the woods is a pistol. It usually stays in my truck unless I decide to go hiking. I remember people telling me about bobcats and bears that would sometimes be found in the area. That made me a little paranoid so I thought carrying would be a good idea just in case.

Reporter: What keeps you awake at night?
General James "Mad Dog" Mattis: Nothing, I keep other people awake at night.

OKC Data Sheet
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#3

Camping for Playboys

Quote: (11-23-2015 12:03 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Great data sheet. Camping is definitely a great way to bang. All the things you bring sound pretty good. One thing I didn't see were trash bags. I always carry those whenever I go out to the woods.

Never been to a camp ground where I had to pay money. I'm usually out in the middle of nowhere with some buddies and some girls.

Didn't really think about the clothing being a big deal for women. Sounds pretty good to me if it gets chilly. I remember one year when I was out camping when it was pretty cold, I had on a flannel shirt and some jeans with flannel sewed into the inside. Perfect for staying warm, didn't feel a thing and didn't look terrible either.

One thing I do carry if I go camping in the woods is a pistol. It usually stays in my truck unless I decide to go hiking. I remember people telling me about bobcats and bears that would sometimes be found in the area. That made me a little paranoid so I thought carrying would be a good idea just in case.

Good call on the trashbags. I keep them inside my hiking backpack, so I forgot about them.

As for pistols, you have to be careful about federal and state regulations. I live in a state that is very gun friendly, in which case, I carry a pistol (Glock 23). But if I travel across the border to another state, pistols are illegal (even though I have a permit to carry).

There are also laws that make carrying guns into a federally owned campground illegal.

This is an article about how it works in California:

http://www.bendbulletin.com/news/1918604...omplicated

I carry a pistol if I'm staying in the state that I live (where I know my rights), but other than that, it's way too complicated. My factory purchased guns might be totally legal in one state, and "high capacity" in another state.
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#4

Camping for Playboys

Add one other necessity - a watch, and preferably one that is backlit (don't wear your dress watch). Personally, I always wear a Casio G-Shock or Casio Pathfinder because they're good watches. They're anywhere from $50 - $100 on Amazon.

You need to know what time it's going to get dark, and your cellphone battery is a hot commodity.

Bring a watch you either don't mind banging up, or is durable.
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#5

Camping for Playboys

Quote: (11-23-2015 12:10 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Quote: (11-23-2015 12:03 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Great data sheet. Camping is definitely a great way to bang. All the things you bring sound pretty good. One thing I didn't see were trash bags. I always carry those whenever I go out to the woods.

Never been to a camp ground where I had to pay money. I'm usually out in the middle of nowhere with some buddies and some girls.

Didn't really think about the clothing being a big deal for women. Sounds pretty good to me if it gets chilly. I remember one year when I was out camping when it was pretty cold, I had on a flannel shirt and some jeans with flannel sewed into the inside. Perfect for staying warm, didn't feel a thing and didn't look terrible either.

One thing I do carry if I go camping in the woods is a pistol. It usually stays in my truck unless I decide to go hiking. I remember people telling me about bobcats and bears that would sometimes be found in the area. That made me a little paranoid so I thought carrying would be a good idea just in case.

Good call on the trashbags. I keep them inside my hiking backpack, so I forgot about them.

As for pistols, you have to be careful about federal and state regulations. I live in a state that is very gun friendly, in which case, I carry a pistol (Glock 23). But if I travel across the border to another state, pistols are illegal (even though I have a permit to carry).

There are also laws that make carrying guns into a federally owned campground illegal.

This is an article about how it works in California:

http://www.bendbulletin.com/news/1918604...omplicated

I carry a pistol if I'm staying in the state that I live (where I know my rights), but other than that, it's way too complicated. My factory purchased guns might be totally legal in one state, and "high capacity" in another state.

Yeah man, I have considered the laws and areas where you are unable to carry. Definitely need to be careful where you carry. Whenever I go camping, I make sure my carry permit has reciprocity in that state. Usually stick around VA when I go camping so it's not a big deal. VA is pretty gun friendly so I take advantage. My Glock 17 is what I carry. It's a little bigger but since I'm a big person I can still conceal it well with both my outside and inside the pants holsters.

Reporter: What keeps you awake at night?
General James "Mad Dog" Mattis: Nothing, I keep other people awake at night.

OKC Data Sheet
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#6

Camping for Playboys

Solid data sheet, gotta try that upside down first stack out !
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#7

Camping for Playboys

Camping is pretty cool, can't do it much down here in Florida because you might get eaten by an animal or people will steal your shit at camping sites.

But, still pretty cool

Quote: (11-15-2014 09:06 AM)Little Dark Wrote:  
This thread is not going in the direction I was hoping for.
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#8

Camping for Playboys

Absolutely seconded.

I was reading Hanks posts before and thought "this dude sounds like a guy I could throw some beers back with". This post solidifies that.

I could talk for hours about camping, or more specifically woodsmanship. I'm pretty old school when it comes to camping. I'll load up a pack, grab a map, pick a point on it a few miles into the wilderness, navigate there, and set up and chill for a while.

I'll bring some basic food, but if I'm out for more than a couple days, I'm trapping/fishing/hunting for my food. Building smokers and dokata fire pits. Building lean-to shelters out of brush and dryfall. Good fucking stuff man.

As far as game goes: I completely second the camping game strategy. It's a very indirect way to get girls hanging out in an isolated area. However it's more of a social circle builder/social circle game strategy, no chick that is in her right mind is going to go into the middle of nowhere with a dude she doesn't trust. That being said, it's amazing how liberated some girls will become when they're in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the nearest person, got some liquor running through the veins, with a manly guy that is chopping wood, tending a fire, building a shelter, and providing food.

Man....there is nothing more satisfying and primal then fucking a chick up against a tree in the middle of the wilderness. I love it all, I call "going cro-magnon".

Tip though: girls are weak and lame In the woods. If your out alone, leave the food at home and fend for yourself. If your with chicks ditch some survival tools and replace the weight with some decent food. Bring liquor not beer, due to weight. The stronger the liquor the better. Need mixers, bring them with you. If you can't due to weight (seriously, you can't lug an extra 2-liter or two? fucking pussy), boiled pine needles
Provide a decent tasting chaser.


Also, bring a gun. You're in the wilderness. You never know what your go to run across. Learn about the dangerous animals in your area and how to react if confronted with them. for example what about a black bear vs a grizzly. What to do when stumbling upon a herd of deer and the alpha male squares up on you. What do in the event of snake bites.

Again I could go on for hours. That shit you see on TV with the survival shows are good stuff, but they're also made for TV not for survival/camping. Take them
Lightly: I.e don't be biting into a raw snake a couple hours into going into the woods, that shit is for ratings not reality

God'll prolly have me on some real strict shit
No sleeping all day, no getting my dick licked

The Original Emotional Alpha
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#9

Camping for Playboys

Quote: (11-23-2015 06:31 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

That being said, it's amazing how liberated some girls will become when they're in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the nearest person, got some liquor running through the veins, with a manly guy that is chopping wood, tending a fire, building a shelter, and providing food.

Man....there is nothing more satisfying and primal then fucking a chick up against a tree in the middle of the wilderness. I love it all, I call "going cro-magnon".

Fucking a girl up against a tree or a rock is one of the greatest experiences in life, and one you and she will always remember.

In our world of offices and coffeeshops and bars, we forget how viscerally women react to a man doing basic manly tasks. Women are deeply impressed by a man who can navigate through the woods, find a good campsite, build a fire and cook on it, find water, set up a tent,and use outdoor tools and equipment. Their brains are encoded to find a man who can protect and provide, and when you demonstrate that you can in the most direct way, their mating circuits are firing full blast.

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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#10

Camping for Playboys

Thank you for the data sheet HankMoody! +1 to come.

Camping is something that I had done in the past as a child, but didn't get back into it again until this past summer in B.C. and Alberta. I was lucky enough to dodge most of the fire bans that persisted over the whole Pacific Northwest, not having a fire takes most of the fun out of the experience.

I remember it being an absolute joy just to shoot the shit for hours by a well-lit fire after dinner with the beer.

I'd like to add that one of the best food/alcohol parings I discovered from a friend is s'mores and port - a nightcap that will definitely impress.
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#11

Camping for Playboys

I'm also a fan of the upside down fire technique. It works great in wood stoves, too. People always tell you you're doing it wrong...

If only you knew how bad things really are.
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#12

Camping for Playboys

Great thread topic.

On the subject of pooping in the woods, I would suggest bringing along a trowel or small gardening shovel for digging cat holes to poop in. (This is in cases where there are no toilets or similar facilities to be found.)

To be Eco-friendly and all that, ensure that you do this activity well away from any water source, and either pack out the used TP, or as I do ... fire in the hole!* Oh, and don't forget to fill the hole back in when finished.

Use hand sanitizer or soap to wash. The last thing you need is someone preparing your camp fire quesadillas with their crap-encrusted mitts.

*Regulations may or may not permit fires. Check this before you go.
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#13

Camping for Playboys

If possible, go camping where there is a lake or creek nearby. That means swimming, and it's often clothing optional.
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