[evilbuttmunch]

I got a girl's number from online two weeks ago. She is late 20s, sort of sweet and anxious but she's a former stoner, used to date a hard drug addict who even got her arrested once. I'm concerned that any relationship I have with her isn't going to be dramatic enough for her so I'm hoping to compensate by being sexually aggressive. Anyway, she's a huge texting flake, but it's been pretty consistent since she gave me her number so I have no idea what to make of it. It took 12 hours just to set up a first date and I went pure logistics as in Roosh' texting guide (how are you doing? do you want to meet this week? How about coffee Wed at 8?). I swear to god if I didn't read that guide I would have given up two weeks ago. She drives me nuts because I'm used to most girls just randomly ghosting so every time she takes longer than a few hours to respond I figure she's gone forever and then she eventually responds. Could she seriously be shit testing me like this for two weeks straight? On our first date she mentioned one of her girlfriends who used to complain about her being flaky and she referred to her as 'clingy.' So I took this as a quirk of her personality and that I wouldn't push it.

She takes anywhere from 2 hours to a day and a half to respond to a text. I've adapted to start responding every few hours, but I haven't ever taken longer than 8 hours when I was legitimately busy, let alone a day. And I've never texted her twice in a row even though I really wanted to just tell her to be a normal fucking person. Anyway, her dog had been sick (yes, the dog is real, I'm not an idiot) so I asked her on Thursday around 7 PM how she was doing and then she replied Friday at 2 PM with a long message (I know that she has work at this time so it's not a question of her schedule). Since she told me they put her dog down 'the other day', I attributed her not responding on Thursday to her still being upset. So, I responded relatively quickly, re-extending an offer to come by my place this weekend if she wanted to talk about it after she'd already said earlier in the week that she was up for it. She responded a couple hours later with another long message that she would 'absolutely love to see me this weekend' and that she actually didn't want to talk about it because it'd just make her upset. So about an hour later (after my work ended around 5 PM), I suggested she come by tomorrow (Saturday) night and that I'd do my best to distract her. And I have yet to hear back though based on past experience I fully expect her to text me in the morning.

How do I broach this subject? Only explanation I can think of is that she had a date with a different guy right after work or that she's a fucking weirdo and she's waiting to reply until she knows she can make it. ROKs suggests not to call a girl out on flakiness if she's still seeing you unless you're already her bf but this seems pretty egregious to me. I'm contemplating telling her I'm busy tomorrow and rescheduling as a way to show disapproval for her behavior. Right now I'm in a bad mindset because I'm so afraid of appearing beta that I don't want to assert myself.

[GlobalMan]

There's nothing to do, except do nothing. You've said you haven't gone more than 8 hours without texting while she has gone much longer regularly. You are on the ropes at this point. Best you can do is stop texting, right away, and let her seek you out.

You waiting and wondering what this seemingly mediocre girl is doing is not helping your mindset, it's needy behavior.

Right now there's not much to think about- There's some girl you don't really know and she doesn't respond to you for hours or days. You move on until she makes an effort to meet with you. (If it was me I'd delete her number right now)

There's nothing to assert yourself about right now, you're not dating her, haven't banged her, don't even really know her, and her interest is weak at best judging by her actions.

[HankMoody]

1. Stop asking questions. Eliminate all "?"s from your exchanges with women.

2. Eliminate all capital letters and most punctuation. I don't know why this works but it does.

3. She's wasting your time. Calling a girl out on flakiness is emotional and needy. If she's into you, she'll climb mountains to see you. If not, well, she can barely be bothered to unlock her phone to return your text messages. I would just move on.

Another point. You're attributing "logic" to her thought process. She's too upset to respond to your texts because of a dog? Yeah, right. If Leonardo DiCaprio texted her, would she be "too upset" to respond? Hell no. Never ever ever try and attribute any type of logic to a woman's communications. Do not ever play into their excuses.

Look, if I have one good piece of advice, it's this - it's not supposed to be hard. When women are into, you they'll make it easy. They'll respond to your texts, they'll hit you up, they'll make it quite clear that they're interested. When they're not, or they're only sort of interested, well, that's when they send mixed signals.

Life is too short to waste time on the women who make your life more complicated than it ought to be. There is plenty of poon to be plundered. No need to waste time and energy chasing the ones who suck.

[GlobalMan]

(11-14-2015 04:34 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

2. Eliminate all capital letters and most punctuation. I don't know why this works but it does.

This is a great tactic. It gives them the impression that you're a busy guy and have more important things to do, and that she should be fortunate you took the time to respond.

(11-14-2015 04:34 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

She's wasting your time. Calling a girl out on flakiness is emotional and needy. If she's into you, she'll climb mountains to see you. If not, well, she can barely be bothered to unlock her phone to return your text messages. I would just move on.

Agreed. If a girl you barely know and haven't even been out with is giving you a headache just trying to set up a time to meet, it's not worth another minute of your time.

[memcpy]

You need to play the numbers game harder, so you won't care about her flaky behavior.

[AneroidOcean]

(11-14-2015 02:21 AM)evilbuttmunch Wrote:  

I got a girl's number from online two weeks ago. She is late 20s, sort of sweet and anxious but she's a former stoner, used to date a hard drug addict who even got her arrested once. I'm concerned that any relationship I have with her isn't going to be dramatic enough for her so I'm hoping to compensate by being sexually aggressive.

She is low value. Late 20s, "sort of sweet," former stoner, used to date a hard drug addict. By your own admission you are "hoping" to provide enough drama for her through sexual aggressiveness.

You set the frame from the beginning by pursuing a low value girl and tolerating her shit behavior. You also have her on a pedestal because you're scheming and "hoping" that you can get in her pants.

You talk about sexual aggressiveness, but your whole post and actions are all timidity.

(11-14-2015 02:21 AM)evilbuttmunch Wrote:  

Right now I'm in a bad mindset because I'm so afraid of appearing beta that I don't want to assert myself.

Your mindset is bad because you're so hung up on a low value girl. Pursue other girls.

[polymath]

Relax.

If her dog actually died, then let her have a few days to herself.

[Dr. Howard]

Ignore and pursue other girls. Once you get another plate or two you'll be wishing for more time to breathe between texts.

[mammal]

You can't. Once people reach adulthood, they are what they want to be (in terms of how they act in their own life and towards others.) Her parents, teachers, friends, maybe a psychiatrist or two havetried tochange her. You won't regardless of what you say or do. A well known saying is "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,: The courage to change the things I can,: And the wisdom to know the difference."

[LA Savage]

Don't bother wasting your time over girls like this. If she really wants to see you she will make time to see you and respond to you more promptly.

You need to have an abundance mentality and be always be replacing these hoes not chasing them.

Any girl that takes longer than 12 hours to respond to my text is an automatic next in my book.

These bitches are on their phones 24 hours a day 7 days a week so they see your message but don't give a fuck about you to respond in a timely manner and other times respond at all.

Trust me if you had other girls lined up already then you would not waste another moment of your time on bitches like this as that is disrespectful behavior.

Stop putting bitches on a pedestal and keep gaming other girls to improve your success.

[Dr. Howard]

(11-19-2015 03:24 PM)mammal Wrote:  

You can't. Once people reach adulthood, they are what they want to be (in terms of how they act in their own life and towards others.) Her parents, teachers, friends, maybe a psychiatrist or two havetried tochange her. You won't regardless of what you say or do. A well known saying is "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,: The courage to change the things I can,: And the wisdom to know the difference."

People that change as adults, only change from within. A fattie that loses weight as an adult does so of her of volition, not because her boyfriend told her to. Or, as an adult male like myself, you rediscover all of the good advice your seniors tried to give you as a young man and take it upon yourself.

So yes, OP, you can say whatever you want to her but she's not going to change unless she feels like it.