[trawler]

This is a thread modelled off the 'Approach' thread.

The idea is to share and discuss examples of successful (or unsuccessful/funny/whatever) dialogues from Tinder.

Critique is welcome, as are dialogues from other apps or websites.

This is for discussions of strategy and 'approaches' only, or problems arising through a failed approach. For specific 'what to text next' questions, please go to the relevant thread unless it's directly relevant to this thread.

I'll start the ball rolling with a few of my own shorter conversations which led to a date.

Note: I will stop the transcript after she says yes. No need for y'all to read about logistics. I also didn't meet/bang all these girls. The point of this thread is to get the date - what to do on a date is dealt with enough on other threads.

Note 2: There is no magic bullet. Success rates are very low - it's a numbers game. Most girls never reply. Some do, but waste your time. If you use Tinder, be aware of the hugely higher rates of flaking, attention-seeking etc than in other areas of game. 5s and 6s will reject guys they never have a chance of in real life.

[trawler]

For those interested to get an idea of the stats, I had a look on 'Flamite', a website that lets you access Tinder on your computer:

- Matches: 850*
- Messages sent per match: 9.5 (average)
- Messages received: 7000
- Messages sent: 9500

*This does not include unmatches. Total matches is probably about 1100.

Bangs: 15
Dates (including bangs): about 25
Dates (which I never followed up): an additional 50 approx

Note also that many of these were in South America, where I was definitely a hit. Stats would be much lower just in Aus or US, where I'm not.

[trawler]

(Lizard opened)

- Hi How is your day going?

Hey there Lizard. Fine! I'm in a seminar which is interesting, but I'm flagging a little. What about yourself?

- Just enjoying funemployment at home watching tv talk shows lol
- What's your seminar about?

Haha sounds a little better than my day. Maybe I should join

- Totally welcome to


Trawler

[trawler]

- Heya Lizard how are you finding Melbourne?

Hey! Loving it so far. took me a bit to get settled in but yeah!

- How long have you been here? Melbourne's wicked, but it takes a local to show you the cool places.

I moved here in Feb. Yeah I have been to a few places but I'm still finding my way around. I think you may be right. How was the weekend?

- Well then I guess I volunteer myself as tribute! I have an exam next week, so weekend was a bit full on

Haha tribute to show me all the cool places? Oh really, what's the exam for?

- Haha tribute as in sacrifice. Hunger Games... Never mind The exam was Accounting - worst thing imaginable. But it's my last ever exam, so all good. How was the weekend?

Oh nice! Celebrating afterwards? Weekend was pretty good, too much alcohol though, so I plan to sleep for about two days

- I'm jealous. That'll be my celebration plan: too much alcohol for about a month, and plenty of sleep.

Sounds like a good celebration plan!

- Yep, sounds like we have similar plans. We should team up

Sleep and alcohol sounds good to me!

- Sounds like a plan!

It does


Trawler

[trawler]

- Hey there Lizard Got any raisins?

Raisins...!?

- Yep. You don't?

Yes...?

- You ruined my line. Seriously? Who actually has raisins?

Oh my god hahaha. Okay, no I totally don't have any raisins.

- You don't? How about a date?

Ahh it was a really great line and I seriously fucked it hahaha

- All good. Let's move on. It is a good line though ey

Hahaha I love it, great line. On a girl who's a hater of raisins I think it would have been a real clincher.

- I don't think it's purely restricted to raisiphobes. I imagine most people don't have raisins. Just a presumption.

Hmm debatable... I think you'll find there's at least a couple of people who also like/have raisins. Clearly my love of raisins is not a commonality between us...

- Hold on there friend. I never stated an aversion to raisins - just that it's not usual for people to have them handy. You know what? Let's move on.

- At least we can probably agree on a date, right.

Yeah I'd say that's a definite

- Sweet.

- ... Get it? Sorry, I'll stop. Great! What are you up to... now?

Haha no, it's great. We have our own little joke now and everything. I have a family dinner tonight. How about Friday night?

- Fridays are valuable evenings my dear. Are you cool? Are you worth a Friday evening? I know you have passable dried-fruit banter, but still...

Blah blah get her to prove herself to me blah


Trawler

[trawler]

Hey there Lizard! Got any raisins?

- Haha, sorry no... have an abundance of bananas though

How about a date?

- When were you thinking?


.... Sometimes it really is that easy. Didn't hit it though, clearly a cumdumpster. I have become a lot more discerning and only enjoy spending time with girls that actually seem interesting (e.g. the one one post up).

[_Samo_]

Did you actually meet these girls from these texts? Do you always set up dates only via tinder/never go for the number? In theory many girls agree to meet me from tinder, for example I'll get the number and after some small talk on whatsapp I'll drop a "we should hang out sometime" they almost always say yes or good idea or something like that. Then when it comes to setting the actual date a majority of the time "It's a really busy time for me" "I don't know when, I don't have much free time at the moment". Something along those lines.

[trawler]

(11-10-2015 10:02 AM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

Did you actually meet these girls from these texts? Do you always set up dates only via tinder/never go for the number? In theory many girls agree to meet me from tinder, for example I'll get the number and after some small talk on whatsapp I'll drop a "we should hang out sometime" they almost always say yes or good idea or something like that. Then when it comes to setting the actual date a majority of the time "It's a really busy time for me" "I don't know when, I don't have much free time at the moment". Something along those lines.

Didn't even bother with the first and last. I met up and had a great time with the middle two. You can see the difference just from the interaction above.

You do it in a different order to me, and in a different style. I suggest we meet up. Not sometime, but in principle. After that, it's just logistics. This should arise naturally in the conversation, rather than: 'awkward chat/inane conversation --> silence --> we should meet up sometime' with no segue way. Not saying that's how you do it. Just saying that's how I used to. See the middle two conversations as examples of this.

In my mind, given the huge flakiness and lack of response and attention whoring, there's no point going for the number before you have any IOI. Waste of your time. I use number just for logistics - I want to find out early on if she's interested in meeting up. Otherwise, next.

I'm not going to waste days trying to chat to a girl where there's clearly no spark, whether it be by tinder or phone. If there's a spark, I'll know early on and she'll want to meet up anyway. Self-selecting. An abundance mentality helps you to minimise wasting energy when the interest just isn't there.

You will get the flakiness. It's annoying, but just the nature of things. Try to minimise it by only spending your valuable text time on girls you're actually having fun interacting with. Chances are minimal that they'll flake. If you're trying to chase any girl that's bangable, without having a proper spark - just accept a high rate of flake.

[coverdoc]

(11-10-2015 08:12 PM)trawler Wrote:  

(11-10-2015 10:02 AM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

Did you actually meet these girls from these texts? Do you always set up dates only via tinder/never go for the number? In theory many girls agree to meet me from tinder, for example I'll get the number and after some small talk on whatsapp I'll drop a "we should hang out sometime" they almost always say yes or good idea or something like that. Then when it comes to setting the actual date a majority of the time "It's a really busy time for me" "I don't know when, I don't have much free time at the moment". Something along those lines.

Didn't even bother with the first and last. I met up and had a great time with the middle two. You can see the difference just from the interaction above.

You do it in a different order to me, and in a different style. I suggest we meet up. Not sometime, but in principle. After that, it's just logistics. This should arise naturally in the conversation, rather than: 'awkward chat/inane conversation --> silence --> we should meet up sometime' with no segue way. Not saying that's how you do it. Just saying that's how I used to. See the middle two conversations as examples of this.

In my mind, given the huge flakiness and lack of response and attention whoring, there's no point going for the number before you have any IOI. Waste of your time. I use number just for logistics - I want to find out early on if she's interested in meeting up. Otherwise, next.

I'm not going to waste days trying to chat to a girl where there's clearly no spark, whether it be by tinder or phone. If there's a spark, I'll know early on and she'll want to meet up anyway. Self-selecting. An abundance mentality helps you to minimise wasting energy when the interest just isn't there.

You will get the flakiness. It's annoying, but just the nature of things. Try to minimise it by only spending your valuable text time on girls you're actually having fun interacting with. Chances are minimal that they'll flake. If you're trying to chase any girl that's bangable, without having a proper spark - just accept a high rate of flake.

This is a great point. I noticed, like i'm sure others have, that no matter the platform (OKC, Tinder etc) Chicks interested seem to just have a better spark(convo) from the beginning. I can't recall off the top of my head one girl I messaged who was giving me taciturn responses and ended up coming around to meet up/fuck. What do you suspect is the cause for this difference? Timing, opener, pics etc or just randomness that is the female hamster?

-CD

[DShamu]

I went out on Saturday with the intent of gaming (still new in cold approaching)

Started at the bookstore in my area, hanged around for about 15 mins then this thick blonde white girl walked in ( I like them thick anyway ) a proper 7

Waited a bit until she was in her 3rd section of browsing

me: good book?
her: ooh I'm just looking around "accent is russian/ukranian not sure"
me: ooh yeah, anything specific you're looking for?
her: i'm doing this project about bla bla bla "at this point I was really just excited to even have gathered the courage to talk to this girl"
me: great, so where are you studying?
her: Wits "a local varsity" turns out she's studying towards being a surgeon/something along those lines & an exchange student from russia
me: I saw you come in and thought you were really cute
her: Ooh thank you
me: mind exchanging numbers so we could meet up for drinks sometime
her: she flaked and hesitated before answering & said I don't have a local number "Bullshit" but you can invite me on Facebook
I invited her but she never accepted

I was just happy to have approached, on to the next one

[Spartacus]

TINDER = DEGENERACY