I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.
Touching a girl on a date?
You are asking for too much. Every girl responds to touch differently so there is no right answer for every situation. You just have to adjust your level of touching based on how receptive she is. I always establish touch by introducing myself and either shaking her hand and holdong it, or straight up going for the hug just because I can because I know I have little to lose and a lot to gain by doing that. If you could post an example of situations that you missed opportunities to touch a girl then post ot and I can try to help you out. But just understand touching a girl aggressively and escalating sexually will work in a nightclub where girls are acting slutty but touching a girl in a similar fashion at school will bring trouble your way.
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Exactly, it's not a rule. You have to look at her reaction when you are getting closer, you will know if she wonts or not
Depends on her body language and IOIs. If she's sitting with crossed legs or arms or standing sideways towards you it's probably better not to. If she's open and chatty or flirty you can use any excuse. Stuff like "nice hair how much did you pay for the extensions?" While touching it. She's gonna be like "noooo they're real!". Ofc the girl must be in the correct mood and you must've had a positive reaction from her. Another example could be just grabbing her hand and saying "I'll show you something" and tingle her inner wrist area and ask how it feels. Or if she says some thing silly just caress her upper arm and say like "ooh you behave like m little niece".
Make sure you do it naturally, last thing you wanna do is come across as fake or uncomfortable when doing it. Start off small and slowly like a pat on her arm when she says funny stuff. If she's receptive then you need o escalate. No point patting her on the arm 10 times. Say you change venue then take her under the arm etc. With practice you'll learn to gage it. If you're awkward about touching women then join dance classes like salsa.
Make sure you do it naturally, last thing you wanna do is come across as fake or uncomfortable when doing it. Start off small and slowly like a pat on her arm when she says funny stuff. If she's receptive then you need o escalate. No point patting her on the arm 10 times. Say you change venue then take her under the arm etc. With practice you'll learn to gage it. If you're awkward about touching women then join dance classes like salsa.
Quote: (11-06-2015 12:22 AM)Iso Wrote:
I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.
I'm not waiting.
After I get the #
1. establishing a line of communication via text
2. I hug her when I greet her, put my hand on her back to guide her inside, ask about her day
3. we chat
4. I steer the conversation towards something physical, then I
- you have pretty small hands *put my hands up to measure, she puts her hands up*
- *thumb wrestle*
- I had a feeling about you, lemme read your palm
Depending on the date, dinner or drinks this is pretty easy.
If she comes at me with a handshake, I cup her hand with both of mine, and hold it a second or two longer than usual.
If I wanted to go play miniature golf, pool, darts, or something more physical - then I will go into "coach mode".
I will always put my hand on the small of her back to guide her through the crowd.
If I make a joke, I might sort of elbow her upper arm.
If the date is going well, I will offer my arm, so that she can hold on to.
I will "gentleman" it up a bit, and help her from her chair.
In general, you can't be afraid of putting your hands on her.
If you want to play it even more cool, and you're watching a movie (either at the theater or netflix and chill) - knee touches knee, thigh touches thigh.
If you want to take it up a notch, and she's happy to see you from jump, twirl her like you would on the dance floor. (and if she twirls counter to the direction she should go call her on it)
What I'm not doing
- I'm not trying to HOLD her hand.
- playing "grab ass"
But if you're a horseplay kind of person, later on in the date, do that - and bring back a sort of "tag" vibe.
All the while, you're also leading, getting compliance, flirting verbally.
I can't do one without the other.
WIA
If its a drinks date and they are wearing a dress or skirt I always make a point to sit beside them, grab her hand and then the inside of her thigh soon after. That is only if I get the vibe that she's loosened up from a drink or 2 and actually enjoying herself.
With enough confidence and feel of the situation you can get away with plenty, experiment and see what kind of reactions you get.
With enough confidence and feel of the situation you can get away with plenty, experiment and see what kind of reactions you get.
Irregardless of how I met a girl, I always hug and kiss her on the cheek after a quick hello and leave my hand on the small of her back and lead her in to the first venue. So, within thirty seconds I've already broken the touch barrier.
My go to spot in any venue is a couch, bench or barstools where there are no physical barriers. If tables are the only options, pull your chair next to hers after an exchange and cite the loudness as the reason why.
After that, just keep building comfort by touching her when she says something funny or you've just told a joke or said something witty that made her laugh.
If done right, she'll start reciprocating after a few drinks and your hands should then be permanently affixed to one another. I'll disengage every so often as to not give out a creepy/desperate vibe and then engage again when the moment presents itself.
This has usually all happened at the first venue within an hour of meeting.
My go to spot in any venue is a couch, bench or barstools where there are no physical barriers. If tables are the only options, pull your chair next to hers after an exchange and cite the loudness as the reason why.
After that, just keep building comfort by touching her when she says something funny or you've just told a joke or said something witty that made her laugh.
If done right, she'll start reciprocating after a few drinks and your hands should then be permanently affixed to one another. I'll disengage every so often as to not give out a creepy/desperate vibe and then engage again when the moment presents itself.
This has usually all happened at the first venue within an hour of meeting.
“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” (1 Timothy 2:12)
Quote: (11-06-2015 12:22 AM)Iso Wrote:
I read a lot about how kino is very important. Looking back at my failures I realized that I didn't touch the girl much. How long are you waiting to touch a girl? What situations are you touching her? Where? I would love to see examples of your kino and a breakdown of it.
I think its important you figure out your own way that is natural for you. The less awkward (less forced) it is for you, the less awkward it will be for her. .... But ideally, you should do immediately. Recently, I purposely show up slighty early (this guarantees I chose my seat), I sit at the bar (sideways so she faces me), hug put my hand on her back, then when she sits and faces me, my hand will likely be on her knee.
As long as it feels natural for you, I dont think its important how you do it, just dont start petting her face or something dumb (i think this is obvious). Also you dont want to have to reach to do it, so make sure you sit close.
Just remember :
Guys who inappropriately touch a girl (but not in a creepy way ), get faaaaaaaaaaaar more than guys who don't !
Guys who inappropriately touch a girl (but not in a creepy way ), get faaaaaaaaaaaar more than guys who don't !
You should be touching her nonstop from the moment you meet her.
Mostly moving her about.
I do agree though that if this is done with any hint of a lack of confidence it will backfire.
"Just grab that bitch" is my attitude.
Mostly moving her about.
I do agree though that if this is done with any hint of a lack of confidence it will backfire.
"Just grab that bitch" is my attitude.
WIA is always spot on.
Quote: (11-10-2015 07:05 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:
You should be touching her nonstop from the moment you meet her.
Mostly moving her about.
I do agree though that if this is done with any hint of a lack of confidence it will backfire.
"Just grab that bitch" is my attitude.
Depends entirely on the setting, the situation and your personality in my opinion. If in a bar or a club, sure, that's probably a good baseline attitude.
If it's a more relaxed daytime or evening dinner for a walk, a couple of drinks, whatever, and maybe even some good conversation (I tend to end up on dates with mostly well educated and reasonably or sometimes very smart girls - not always a good thing for sure), trying to constantly attempt to be in a position to "casually" or not so casually touch her will probably backfire for a whole lot of men in many situations (I absolutely feel like I overdid it on "kino" during many dates, and so evidently did most of the girls, when I was new to dating and semi-mechanically trying to test out all the things I had been reading about).
Even with confidence and practice consistent touching throughout some types of dates will just feel out of place for those situations.
I think a daygamer like Krauser has said - though it was quite a while ago, don't know if his methods have changed - that he uses very little kino at all, during initial meets as well as typical dates, until (paraphrasing) the girls are at his place and ready to fuck.
Personally on a first date (haven't got a first date bang yet here in Bulgaria, seems like most girls hold out for second or third) I stick to occasional light casual or leading touches during dates, escalating if things go well to eg. asking them to give me their hand (along with some silly verbal teasing or irrelevant reason for it - talking is what I do best, and mostly without much thought) and then some more intimate touching and eventually kissing and some very light making out near the end if things go well.
Basically you should be naturally comfortable with her body. Better to sit next to her than in front of her. Troy Francis has written a lot about this on ROK.
A whore ain't nothing but a trick to a pimp. (Iceberg Slim)
Beauty is in the erection of the beholder. (duedue)
Grab your life by the pussy.
A better question to ask is "What EXACTLY do I want out of life and what EXACTLY am I doing to get EXACTLY that? If you can answer that question truthfully you will be the most Alpha motherfucker you will ever need to be. (PapayaTapper)
Lots of good suggestions in here. Definitely agree about touching early and often. Guiding her by touching her lower back to direct her to a table, chair, or barstool. Then pat the seat you would like her to sit in. It's always preferred in a sitting-down environment to sit next to her as opposed to across from her, which makes it much easier to initiate or continue more touching. If you are walking on the sidewalk, move her to the inside of the curb away from traffic by guiding her shoulder with your hand while you take her place. Sometimes I grab both of her shoulders from behind and just physically move her to my other side. If she asks what you are doing, usually I just say, "I like being on this side," smile, and change the subject.
Also, if this is congruent for you, check out hand massage. It's a technique I use consistently with a lot of my first dates and has yielded good results over the years. While thumb wrestling can surely be fun, this doesn't suit everyone's personality. The hand massage can be effective both for people who are more high-energy as well as those like myself who run a more relaxed, low-energy style of game.
Also, if this is congruent for you, check out hand massage. It's a technique I use consistently with a lot of my first dates and has yielded good results over the years. While thumb wrestling can surely be fun, this doesn't suit everyone's personality. The hand massage can be effective both for people who are more high-energy as well as those like myself who run a more relaxed, low-energy style of game.
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