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The Awakening - Part 1
#1

The Awakening - Part 1

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” –Albert Camus

THE FALL

Halloween night. The party was going hard in Marcus’s back yard. I could feel something in the crisp fall air. That is when when I first laid eyes on Erin. She wasn’t the traditional type of hot, but she was just my type. Short with blue eyes, dark hair, and a smile that lit up the room. Is love at first sight possible? At that very moment in time I was convinced that it is. Somehow I just knew that Erin would change my life forever.

They say that fall is time of change and new beginnings. I needed a new beginning. I found myself single after getting divorced from my wife of twelve years. Our relationship was never bad, but it was never good. After twelve years, most of our conversations had become about the cats and television. We had both gotten fat and grown apart as people. Sex was non-existent. I was bored. She was bored. So we had just decided to end it.

Now what?

At 30 years old, I was worried that I would never find a wife, settle down, and have kids. Maybe life had passed me by. Would I die unhappy and alone?

Things were good for me otherwise. My business was thriving, I owned my house with equity, and I’d lost weight thanks to Crossfit and a paleo diet. I was starting to feel content with my life, but wished I had someone to share it with. You know, a soul mate like you see on TV shows.

I finally worked up the courage to approach Erin. I hadn’t dated anyone in twelve years, let alone cold approached a woman. I was so nervous.

To my surprise, Erin was willing to talk to me. The conversation revealed that she was 33 years old, also divorced, and had recently broke up with her boyfriend Matt who she had lived with. Tonight was her first night out after the breakup. I told her about my own situation – like her, I was recently divorced, newly single, and looking to meet people. She hung on my every word, and the conversation quickly got deep. I felt like I'd known her for years, even though we had just met. We just connected.

Erin told me how wanted the things I wanted so desperately– marriage, children, and a house in the suburbs. She was ready to settle down with the “right guy” and disappointed her last few relationships hadn’t worked out. Maybe this was destiny, and she was the woman I would start a family with.

“I enjoyed talking to you, give me a call sometime, here’s my phone number”, she said. Then she went over and started talking to Marcus and his wife. Holy shit, did I just get her number? I couldn’t believe a girl that pretty did that.

That night I couldn’t stop thinking about Erin. I wanted to see her again so badly. How do I make it happen? Do I call her? Send her a text message? How do these dating things work nowadays?

Before being married, I hadn’t been with many women. I had a long term girlfriend in high school, a quick fling in college, and then settled down with the woman who eventually became my wife. I had no idea how “adult dating” worked. Nor did I want to.

I remembered reading on the internet that you’re supposed to “play it cool” with girls and wait a few days before getting in contact with them. Maybe on some stupid game or “PUA” forum. All that “game” shit is so stupid and ridiculous. Those PUA losers just want to use women for sex. Not me. I was looking for romance.

After hours mulling on it, I decided that I’d just be myself and tell her how I really felt. I went with this:

“Hi Erin! I REALLY enjoyed meeting you at Marcus’s party! I feel like we have such a connection. How would you like to get lunch this week? Hope to hear from you soon! ☺”

God I hoped she responded.

I obsessed over my phone for hours that day. Every time it would buzz, my heart would skip a beat. But now it had been over twelve hours. Twelve agonizing fucking hours. As luck would have it, I ran into Erin at a local restaurant the next day, where we chatted:

“Hey Erin. Good to see you. I sent you a text yesterday. Do you maybe want to grab lunch this week? What kind of food are you into? We could do Mexican, soup, or maybe just coffee?” I was so nervous.

“Oh, sorry Hank. I must have fallen asleep and missed your text. I guess soup sounds good,” she said.

I couldn’t wait to see Erin again. I spent the entire morning thinking about our date. About 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave, I sent her a text:

“Hi Erin! Is it okay if I come pick you up?”
“Hi Hank! Today is starting to get away from me. Maybe later in the week?”
“Sure. Does Thursday for lunch work?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t wait to see you again!” I texted back.

She didn’t respond.

It was disappointing that Erin cancelled, but I guess she was a busy girl.

Thursday couldn’t get here fast enough. Before our date, I went to the restaurant because I knew the owner. This date had to be special. I had to show her that I had money and status. Good thing I'm friends with the owner here.

“Playboy Will! I met the greatest gal, and we’re coming here for a date tomorrow night. Do me a solid and make it perfect, okay?” I called him Playboy Will because he was with a new woman every week. What a pig.
“Anything for you, buddy.”

Will was a tall, successful business owner, in his late 30s and unmarried. He had screwed more than half the girls in the neighborhood, and his reputation had gotten around town. I felt bad for him. He would probably die alone and unmarried. He's kind of a dick but I liked him anyway.

The next day I picked Erin up and we went to lunch. We continued to talk about how we both wanted another chance at marriage and raising a family. She kept telling me about her ex-husband and what a jerk he was, and what a jerk her ex-boyfriend was.

I would do better. I’d be the fairytale prince Erin deserved.

As we were finishing our lunch, Will approached us:

“Yo buddy. I’m having an invitation only party this weekend. You two should come. Free drinks. VIP service for you and your date, Hank.” Will loved to throw parties at his house and be the center of attention. I didn’t really enjoy going to them.

Erin’s ears instantly perked up, and she smiled. “Sure, we’d love to go!”

I had other plans this weekend but they could be cancelled to spend time with Erin.

In the parking lot, I looked at Erin and went to kiss her. She turned, kissed me on the cheek, and smiled. “Not yet dear. Let’s take it slowly, okay?
Made sense. A special girl like Erin needs to be plenty wined and dined first. A girl this unique would require a lot of effort on my part. She’s not the type of girl you just mess with.

Will’s party was a boring as usual. Erin was in deep conversation with Will, and had been for forty-five minutes. I’m not one for loud music and a frat atmosphere, but Erin was having a good time. I guess that’s what matters.

“Hey Erin. Sorry to interrupt. Do you want to get going soon?”
“No, I’m going to stay for awhile. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course! But I have to do some work in the morning, so I’m going to head out. Send me a text when you get home, so I know you got back safe.”

“Sure thing,” she said.

I never got a text that night.

I decided to text her the next morning to setup another date. I wanted to take her somewhere special.

“Hi Erin. How would you like to get a fancy dinner? Just let me know a time for you that’s good and I’ll make it work on my end.”

I would wine and dine this woman like she’s never been before. I decided to take her to the most expensive restaurant in town. Throwing down $800 for dinner would show her how much I cared, and how good of a guy I am.

That night dinner was perfect. We talked about our future lives, living in a big house in the suburbs with maybe five great kids running around, flying around the world whenever we felt like it. I felt great when she said: “I like you a lot, Hank. You take me to parties and nice restaurants. My exes never did that.”

After some wine, we were having a nice time. We walked into the parking lot and jumped into the taxi. I looked at her and said “May I kiss you?” I wanted to kiss her, but I wanted her to know that I’m also a gentleman. “Yeah”, she responded, as we started making out in front of the cab driver.

We got back to my house and the sex was mind blowing. I hadn’t had sex with a woman other than my ex-wife in over twelve years. When it was finished, we spooned all night. After I looked at her and said “I think I’m in love with you.”

And I did love her, more than I could ever love anyone. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. Everything felt perfect. We stayed up into the night and talked about how many kids we were going to have, and what their names were going to be.

The next morning she jumped out of bed, distressed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“It’s 8am! I shouldn’t have stayed over!”
“Why? I don’t understand. What’s the problem?”
“Look, I have to tell you something. I moved back in with my ex-boyfriend. He isn’t going to be happy about this. I’ll just tell him I slept over at my sister’s. I like you Hank, but our timing is bad. I have to go. Matt is going to be mad that I didn’t come home last night.”
“Isn’t Matt your ex-boyfriend?”
“Hank, it’s complicated. You’re a good guy, but I still have feelings for Matt. I’m really confused. I have to go now.”

Why was this complicated? It didn’t’ matter. I had to be understanding. I couldn’t risk losing her.

When I wasn't with Erin, I was thinking about Erin. Whenever someone would send me a text, I would hope it was her. I continued to talk to Erin lamost every day and message back and forth with her. I would send elaborate, well thought out text messages, all of which were perfectly punctuated. When she wasn’t with her ex-boyfriend, we’d do everything together like shop and run errands.

Erin was the only person I felt like hanging out with, and my circle of friends started to dwindle. It didn't matter. I talked to her about everything - my hopes, my fears, even my business ventures. I’d do things like randomly send her flowers and drop off gifts at her office. She would send me back a happy face text message saying “The coffee you sent over was DELICIOUS! I can’t wait to see you this week!”

I didn’t like that Erin was living with her ex-boyfriend, but I knew that I needed to be understanding and supportive. She was confused, but would figure out that I was the guy who cared about her more. The best things aren’t supposed to come easy.

To win, I’d have to show her how much I cared. She complained that my beard scratched her face, so I shaved it. She didn’t like the way my pants fit, so I bought new ones. She said I should dress fancier, so I got a new watch. Erin said she didn’t like my bathroom, so I had it redone. She didn’t like my furniture, so I redid the living room, too. I had to be perfect for her. The stakes were high.

This relationship continued for months, although she was still living with her ex-boyfriend. I respected that she was confused, but understood it couldn’t be changed. She told me: “I like both of you, but differently. It’s hard to explain.”

But I finally had a plan to win her over…

“Hey gorgeous. I think we should take a trip together. Let’s go to Aruba! All inclusive!”
“Oh wow! Sounds so fun! Let’s do it!”

The next week I whisked her off to Aruba, to an all-inclusive resort at my expense. We painted the town red - went to fancy restaurants, danced the night away, and then slept in each other’s arms at night. I wanted to show her what the rest of our life was going to look like.

I’d started to get a little fat again from all the dinners and drinks with her, and I didn’t have time to go to the gym because I needed to be available if Erin wanted to hang out. Her schedule was really tight, and she would flake sometimes. But it didn’t matter. Erin loved me for me, and I loved her for her.

When we returned stateside, it finally happened.
“Hank, I’m ready to leave my boyfriend.” This was it. Now we could be together and ride off into the sunset. I managed to find her a nice apartment in town from a friend of mine. I took a day off work and moved her stuff out so she didn’t have to be inconvenienced.

Special girls like her was worth fighting for. I’d put in the work, and I had finally won the prize. The most important prize in my entire life.

Everything was perfect. The holidays were coming, and she asked if I would spend Thanksgiving at her parents' house. I couldn't wait.

A couple weeks later I took Erin out for her favorite food at the best place in town. She had mentioned earlier in the week that she that she wanted to go there, so I made us reservations.

Of course, things are always perfect until they’re not. Then they’re not so perfect…

“Hank, I need to talk to you about something. Did you tell Will about us?” she asked me.
“Of course.” I’d run into Will last week at the bar and we had a few drinks.
“Could you not tell people we’re ‘dating’ or that I’m your ‘girlfriend’?”
“Why? Is this some kind of a big secret?” I asked her, confused.
“It’s just, we should keep this discreet, you know? At least don’t talk with Will about us.”
“I understand.”

Except I didn’t.

I started to think about it for a second. Something was strange about Erin’s schedule. She went to sleep early a lot, and was always hanging out with her sister or girlfriends' at night. Her phone was always turned over, and she was always texting someone. And why was she talking to Will anyway?

I decided to ask her point blank. But did I really want to know the answer?

“Erin, I know this is a weird question, but why are you talking to Will?”
“We have been friends since I met him at the party. Look, Hank, I have to talk to you about that… we’re sort of seeing each other.”
“…you’ve been seeing other people?” I managed to croak out.
“Just a few people. Nothing too serious. Look, I still want to hang out with you, I do, but I’m not ready for an exclusive relationship. Don’t make a big deal over this. You two are very different."

My heart broke in that very instant. With her words, I was changed forever. The anger, the fury, the disappointment, there were so many things going on in my head and I couldn’t make sense of any of it. I couldn’t speak, because if I opened my mouth, I would throw up all over the table.

It was the worst I had ever felt about anything.
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#2

The Awakening - Part 1

There are two more parts to this story which I'll post if you guys enjoy this one.
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#3

The Awakening - Part 1

Seems like you get very productive when you have a fever [Image: wink.gif] Keep on writing, I like to read the rest.
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#4

The Awakening - Part 1

Quote: (10-28-2015 05:00 PM)Thaitanium Wrote:  

Seems like you get very productive when you have a fever [Image: wink.gif] Keep on writing, I like to read the rest.

Thank you.

The next two parts are more interesting.
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#5

The Awakening - Part 1

Quote: (10-28-2015 05:04 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Quote: (10-28-2015 05:00 PM)Thaitanium Wrote:  

Seems like you get very productive when you have a fever [Image: wink.gif] Keep on writing, I like to read the rest.

Thank you.

The next two parts are more interesting.

Yeah, I guess the Awakening is on its way now
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#6

The Awakening - Part 1

Given his username, we know he's turned a corner for the better.
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#7

The Awakening - Part 1

I can't wait for the rest hank! Well done sir!
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#8

The Awakening - Part 1

That was an awesome story. I was wondering beginning to think it was non-fiction. Can't wait for the next parts.
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#9

The Awakening - Part 1

I'm finishing up Season 6 of Californication as I'm reading this. Couldn't have picked a better time.
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#10

The Awakening - Part 1

I feel your pain mate. Thank god no girl has ever been that brutal to me.
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#11

The Awakening - Part 1

This is fiction, right?
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#12

The Awakening - Part 1

Quote: (10-29-2015 01:35 AM)Blue Streak Wrote:  

This is fiction, right?

It's what I call "real fiction." Based on true events, but with names changed, people merged, events boiled down, etc.

Sadly, it's mostly true.
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#13

The Awakening - Part 1

Hank, this is well written, engaging, with lots of foreshadowing to keep me hooked.

But I'm struggling with the timeline in the beginning... you said you had gotten out of a marriage of 12 years. At age 30, if I read you correctly. That means you got married at 18? You also said had a high school sweetheart, and then a fling in college. After that, you met your wife. You had to be 20-21 when you got married?

Or is that part quasi-fiction?
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#14

The Awakening - Part 1

Quote: (10-29-2015 09:04 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Hank, this is well written, engaging, with lots of foreshadowing to keep me hooked.

But I'm struggling with the timeline in the beginning... you said you had gotten out of a marriage of 12 years. At age 30, if I read you correctly. That means you got married at 18? You also said had a high school sweetheart, and then a fling in college. After that, you met your wife. You had to be 20-21 when you got married?

Or is that part quasi-fiction?

We got together sophomore year of college and remained completely exclusive. I was 19.

We didn't actually get married until after college, and then stayed married for a year. We already lived together, and figured maybe formally getting married would fix our relationship. Maybe it was a 10 year relationship. I know I was 19 when it started, 30 when it she moved out, and I'm 34 now.

These details complicated the story a bit.
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#15

The Awakening - Part 1

Thanks for clarifying. Again, great story, and I read all 3 parts.
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#16

The Awakening - Part 1

You have my interest Hank...looking forward to the rest of the story
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#17

The Awakening - Part 1

I'm really enjoying the story as well.

"When in chaos, speak truth." - Jordan Peterson
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#18

The Awakening - Part 1

I've never watched Californication, but I always thought Hank Moody was a badass...this guy's a pussy.

Reminds me of young me...Keep writing.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
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#19

The Awakening - Part 1

It's almost too true a tale of what we talk about on here:

-Abundance
-Not being needy
-Never trusting hoes
-Never give something for free
-Having strong frame
-Always taking care of yourself first
-Taking pussy off the pedestal
-Why game is important in this modern day and age
-Look for the red flags
-Inner game'

I mean the list goes on.
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#20

The Awakening - Part 1

It's a good story but I have a hard time reading it.

It's like being in a movie theater watching a horror movie and it's all you can do to not shout out, "DON'T GO THROUGH THAT DOOOOR!".

It's all too familiar. Please post moar.

G
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#21

The Awakening - Part 1

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