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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 01:03 PM
TL;DR version of back story:
SNL with a girl I met a little while back. Good sex, good vibe, etc. Everything's looking peachy at first. Slowly but surely it seems she's doing the fade out over the last couple of weeks. Her excitement and interest levels seemed to be dwindling. Could be a new love interest, an old flame re-emerging, hamstering.. who knows.
Point is I'm sensing the dreaded "let's just be friends.." hammer about to strike my nutsack.
Having been down this road before and making the mistake of agreeing to a friendship, I decided to try something different.. a pre-emptive friendzone nuke before she has the chance to say the words.
She recently mentioned that she wasn't looking for anything serious. So just yesterday, out of the blue, I straight up asked her if she was down with a FWB arrangement. I also said I had no interest in being "strictly friends." (<--the pre-emptive strike) It was sink or swim time, and I wanted to get my full intentions out there before the "let's just be friends" apocalypse struck.
This rustled her jimmies.. as I expected (and intended) it to. She was going stale and I wanted to give her a jolt. Not-so-subtly let her know that I'm willing to walk if things don't go my way.
She acted offended, insulted, hurt, etc. All the things that would test your resolve and tempt you to back down. I held the fucking line and didn't budge.
This just happened yesterday and we haven't spoken since. I'm going radio silent. My thinking is it's better to put it all on the line and be willing to walk if things don't go your way. And it may increase her attraction. Now it's a waiting game to see if she resumes contact and comes around on my terms.
Have any of you tried a tactic like this? What are your thoughts?
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 01:22 PM
What were you trying to accomplish? Did you want to sting her before she stung you? It sounds like she had moved on to someone else.
Honestly, it's better to just go radio silent without LJBFing the girl. That way you can hit her up later with a random text on a late night as a hail mary tactic.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 01:33 PM
I've done the radio silence tactic before with mixed results in similar situations. With this tactic I wanted to try something different, just to see what happened. My thinking was that boldly stating intentions, refusing to be friend zoned, and stirring up her fear of loss might unleash any pent up feelings she had for me, if there was any. It was a way to put it all on the line and either get what I wanted, or walk.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 01:36 PM
^^ I concur (with Beast). You won't find "tactics" work in situations like this, because you won't be that 0.1% of chance that it does work.
The silence will at least make her wonder, and change her perception of you for later.
Better bet is walk away with (1) dignity, (2) leaving as potential late night hit up, and (3) she may text you in 6-12 months when she breaks it off with whatever other guy is in the picture.
I've had #3 happen a few times, where I was naively ignorant that there might be any semblance of another dude. Then out of nowhere this chic from 9 months ago starts wanting to meet up.
Just read your second post there...both tactics have low probability of working. I'd bet silence has a better chance, and again, she'll always have potential. One thing that took me a long time to learn...chics hate rejecting a guy as much as guys hate getting rejected. She doesn't want to say no to you, because like you, she always wants you out there as potential (sex, resources, safety, whatever).
That said...I don't see anything wrong with the tactic. If you needed to try it out, good for you. I just don't see it having much chance of changing anything.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 02:26 PM
Your thinking seems logical in pretense when it comes to the anything but logical hamster it probably did no good. I've had women that I've hooked up with give me the LJBF answer when I reached out to them again and I simply say something to the effect of "ok, but I'm not interested in just friendship with you. If you change your mind let me know" and then I go completely radio silent from there. No more "ping" texts, no more wishing happy birthday, holiday, Friday, or anything else.
If she later on reaches out to me again I don't dither at all and immediately go for setting up some kind of a date or meetup. If she does anything but enthusiastically agrees I cut it short and say "It was nice hearing from you but I need to go x right now, keep in touch" and then back to radio silence. The only attention, validation or support she will ever get from me is my trying to close on a date and then I'm gone.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 03:40 PM
If what you were feeling - the dwindling down was what it likely was - then pressuring just accelerates the inevitable.. which could be any number of things on her end. Girls usually don't run a slow tapering off shit test.
When a girl starts to give just 1 sign of lost interest, or internalizes something about me she doesn't like (disqualifying me after we've been having sex), I go totally radio silent immediately. At minimum make her text/call first. Never initiate.
Nothing's better than leaving them at last sight on a good note, then just never contacting them again unless they do first, then respond at will.
I don't initiate most communication with any woman, it's my life, they can ride or gtfo. Most of these bitches are out-of-sight, out-of-mind thinking about guys nowadays. Some bitches (most) are just shallow idiots, which also translates into lack luster sex no matter what you bring to the table. Once the sex tapers off, well there's no bond left because they're dumb, shallow, and boring. So to secure their ego, it's onto the next guy for the same boring experience of pretty good, average, or lack luster fucking, no matter how much erotic instruction they're given.
Ironically, high # sluts tend to fall into 2 categories. Those that are nymphos and really good in bed, and those that are so shallow the best sex is during the first 5 times, and you can bang them beyond premium porn style with a 15" cock, but the sex just slowly gets worse, and worse because they're literally THAT dumb and uncreative. They go on running carousel thinking it's the guys' faults, when it's them. shallow, stupid, uncreative, SMV only attached to their pussy. So they fade themselves away and are stuck in a cycle of doing that with almost all the guys they fuck.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 05:47 PM
Ah, such a good topic.
Once you start to hit levels of decent game, that aloof cocky asshole, women will never LJBF you. Ever. It's understood without saying it that you keep her around because sex is in the equation.
Ironically, after enough lays you won't be worrying about her LJBFing you, because you truly give zero fucks if they walk out of your life. Once you've developed this attitude, they'll throw sex at you to make sure you remain interested.
Many mistakes here, my friend. First off, never ask her "what she's down with." Don't tell her what you're down with, either. Simply do it, and if she wants to try and up the commitment game, evaluate it at the time. Trying to "set boundaries" or "define the relationship" just messes stuff up, especially when you're the one initiating it. Only females need to talk about this kind of stuff.
Next. Do not listen to a fucking thing women say. The woman who "isn't looking for anything serious" is begging that alpha guy with the tattoos to move in to her apartment, or to be swept off her feet by some degenerate like myself only to be left pumped and dumped. They have no idea what they're looking for, and it changes minute to minute, hour to hour. What she's conveying to you is that she's not that into it.
Three. Women always appeal to emotion. "Is all you care about sex?" "Does it matter that much?" They know the answer, and if you were a guy they were into they'd be throwing it at you.
I'd simply ignore her and move on.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 06:44 PM
Yeah, double post...
This issue happened with me in the past, with the Oneitis. She put vibes out there like "I'm not sure if I'm into you sexually, maybe we're better off as friends." I tried to act alpha and say "We're not friends" yadda yadda. At the time I thought I was being boss and running good game. Knowing what I know, absolutely not.
In hindsight, my frame was off. My game sucked. What she was actually saying is "You're generally attractive and have a lot of good traits, you make bank, but you act like a fucking woman sometimes. Act like that chauvinistic pig you truly are and I'm all yours." Overtly telling her that sex was part of the arrangement was extremely beta.
Current GF (who is way hotter) is constantly texting me to see if I need anything, how I'm feeling, or to tell me how much I could use a blowjob. She requests sex to make sure my interest is still there, and if I'm "meh", she starts to worry.
It's a matter of frame. If she's sending you mixed messages, it's because your game sucks.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-27-2015, 07:32 PM
If you're trying to manipulate a chick into wanting to feeling how she first did when she met you - it's just not going to work by making ultimatums or going silent.
For the most part, human relations are often One and Done. Unless the chick has deep feelings for you, and you have for her - the natural course of a non-committed relationship is to fuck for a bit and then fade away. Might catch a few stray fucks...but
the reality is that this chick moved on, and you have not.
If your scene is small, the best way to get at the chick is to continue to level up. She'll see you and wonder why she bailed. But you don't level up with the hopes of winning back a past love (or even a future love). You do it because you want to.
WIA
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-28-2015, 01:51 AM
I find it easier to just stay radio silent on her and let her contact you when she feels like it. But never try to put her in as anything more than some girl you fuck every now and then. Girls make horrible friends and tend to due more damage than good. Just move don't catch feelings for her and move on with improving your life and hooking up with beautiful women from all over the world.
Quote:[b]Bacchus Wrote:
Your goal is sex, not a phone number. Numbers are worthless.
They are the lotto tickets of game.
They might occasionally produce a winner, but don't count on it.
[/b]
If you are in Los Angeles and want to link up with me
and/or other members to do some approaches please contact me.Thanks.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-28-2015, 09:01 AM
This is why I came here. I should have posted the idea before trying it out. I have a strong ability to attract and SNL girls, but I'm struggling with keeping the momentum going afterwards. Still fighting my beta upbringing after I get the bang. The wires in my head get crossed, and I go from the charming aloof player to the guy who thinks "maybe this one's different and really wants a guy who's going to treat her better."
That's my so-called natural state. I don't want to treat girls like shit and not give a fuck about them. Yet time after time the alpha side of my brain keeps bitch-slapping the beta and says "I told you so"
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-28-2015, 10:04 AM
Yeah it really sucks that these things are necessary. I'm in my thirties, and having been through a divorce and multiple gf's, casual flings, and ONS you'd think it would be seared into my brain by now.
It's a shitty realization knowing that the game constantly has to be played, and if you let your guard down for even a moment to show that you're a real human being with genuine feelings, it's game over
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-29-2015, 01:32 PM
Not to thread jack, but does anyone thing that LJBF'ing a girl has the opposite effect when a girl does that to a guy? Girl LJBF guy = no sex (usually). Guy LJBF girl = sex (maybe)? Reason I ask is I recently did that and she still came for the bang.
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-29-2015, 01:50 PM
If a girl is fading away, the best thing to do is just let her go.
The girls who really like you will stick around and the girls who didn't probably weren't worth your time anyways.
I had met and fucked a girl off of OKC - about 24hrs from texting to bang at hers. Texted her sparingly during the week and towards the end she just cut off. No contact. No nothing. I have no idea what happened. I made it worse by texting her a bunch (my curiosity was killing me). In the end, I would have been better served if I had just let it go.
G
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Pre-emptively Nuking the Friend Zone
10-29-2015, 03:36 PM
You guys were fuck buddies and she grew tired of it. She likely found someone else to kick it with or flat out wasn't digging you anymore. Simple as that.
NSA sex relationships with women can be enjoyable but they have a half-life. Women eventually want 1 of 2 things:
1.) Something more
2.) Something new
Girls don't just fuck dudes with no attachment indefinitely. The average is typically no more than 3 months or so. That doesn't mean they won't come back around after a while for a repeat, but this shit don't last forever.
Accept that the relationship you had with her was exhausted and onto the next. It was obviously worth nothing more than sex and that only goes so far (especially with women)
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