[Leonard D Neubache]

(12-28-2016 09:50 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

...
There are certainly girls who have casual sex and don't think twice about it. Most of the time though, they are fooling themselves and not understanding their natural desire to pair bond. Most women that sleep with men prior to marriage do it to try and get commitment out of a man. It is horrible strategy, but that doesn't mean women are always the most logical creatures, are they?
...

I agree with most of what you've said, but this right here is a ghost that plagued my early manhood when dealing with women.

Early on I treated women with the assumption that if they slept with me they wanted a long term relationship. That was how I was raised, after all. It was a naive ideal and it led to some horrible situations where I got dumped pretty early on even though I made every effort to please them.

Some women don't want the commitment. Not even a little bit. They're not bouncing around the cock carousel desperate to start a family from day one. They have their own money. Their own perception of independence. They might find out a little late what a joke their personal ideology is but in the short term they just want to fuck studs and walk away.

I totally agree on not lying to a woman about her prospects of securing an LTR. I see that as feeding the beast of societal destruction. But cock carousel gold-members? Dick 'em, chisel in that notch and walk away. Nothing you do or don't do with them is going to alter their destiny.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Re: Homeshooling

Country schools are a pretty good choice if you're willing to live away from the suburbs and can't/wont homeschool your kids or can't afford private tuition.

Country folk are fairly red-pill and even though most of the staff are themselves educated in Marxist institutions they keep that bullshit to a minimum because otherwise they'll have a shitload of angry parents banging on the classroom door at the end of the day.

In many instances the staff are red-pill themselves and specifically seek out work in country schools because they don't have to worry about the opposite. Cucks and progresbians banging on their classroom door because they told little Jimmy that he wasn't allowed to swap clothes with little Sally.

[Rob Banks]

(12-29-2016 01:33 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I totally agree on not lying to a woman about her prospects of securing an LTR. I see that as feeding the beast of societal destruction. But cock carousel gold-members? Dick 'em, chisel in that notch and walk away. Nothing you do or don't do with them is going to alter their destiny.

Even if a girl is not a "cock-carousel gold member" but is open to the occasional casual/short-term relationship, you likely still won't "alter [her] destiny" no matter what you do (or don't do).

In my opinion, the only kind of girl you should be worried about "ruining" is a girl who is legit trying to save herself for marriage, and these kinds of girls usually don't put themselves in casual sex situations to begin with (unless you outright lie to them and promise to marry them, which I agree is sleazy as fuck).

[Rob Banks]

(12-29-2016 02:20 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Re: Homeshooling

Country schools are a pretty good choice if you're willing to live away from the suburbs and can't/wont homeschool your kids or can't afford private tuition.

Country folk are fairly red-pill and even though most of the staff are themselves educated in Marxist institutions they keep that bullshit to a minimum because otherwise they'll have a shitload of angry parents banging on the classroom door at the end of the day.

In many instances the staff are red-pill themselves and specifically seek out work in country schools because they don't have to worry about the opposite. Cucks and progresbians banging on their classroom door because they told little Jimmy that he wasn't allowed to swap clothes with little Sally.

Even if there was no Marxist propaganda being taught at public schools, I would still not send my (future) daughter to a public school (especially middle and high school), for the mere fact that she would be in a building full of boys every day with little adult supervision. Leftist ideas can be counteracted by simply explaining to your kids why they are wrong (assuming your kids respect you), but sexual experiences cannot be reversed.

[Leonard D Neubache]

(12-29-2016 02:42 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

...

Even if there was no Marxist propaganda being taught at public schools, I would still not send my (future) daughter to a public school (especially middle and high school), for the mere fact that she would be in a building full of boys every day with little adult supervision. Leftist ideas can be counteracted by simply explaining to your kids why they are wrong (assuming your kids respect you), but sexual experiences cannot be reversed.

Grades 0 to 6 are fairly safe, and it allows for them to build friendships and learn to socialise. Yank them out after that, for sure. The secondary schools out in the sticks are still tainted regardless of distance, mostly due to the effect of unfiltered social media access by that stage.

[John Michael Kane]

(12-29-2016 01:33 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

(12-28-2016 09:50 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

...
There are certainly girls who have casual sex and don't think twice about it. Most of the time though, they are fooling themselves and not understanding their natural desire to pair bond. Most women that sleep with men prior to marriage do it to try and get commitment out of a man. It is horrible strategy, but that doesn't mean women are always the most logical creatures, are they?
...

I agree with most of what you've said, but this right here is a ghost that plagued my early manhood when dealing with women.

Early on I treated women with the assumption that if they slept with me they wanted a long term relationship. That was how I was raised, after all. It was a naive ideal and it led to some horrible situations where I got dumped pretty early on even though I made every effort to please them.

Some women don't want the commitment. Not even a little bit. They're not bouncing around the cock carousel desperate to start a family from day one. They have their own money. Their own perception of independence. They might find out a little late what a joke their personal ideology is but in the short term they just want to fuck studs and walk away.

I totally agree on not lying to a woman about her prospects of securing an LTR. I see that as feeding the beast of societal destruction. But cock carousel gold-members? Dick 'em, chisel in that notch and walk away. Nothing you do or don't do with them is going to alter their destiny.

After having read literally shelves worth on human mating, dating and all that good stuff I can say with a fairly high degree of certainity that less than 20% of women prefer short term mating. The real number is probably closer to 10-15%. These are your true sluts that are so kinky, they can't help themselves. Real freaks that can't pair bond, but love sex. The overwhelming majority of women prefer sex within a LTR or marriage. That doesn't mean that even LTR/marriage oriented girls won't fall prey to the charms of a good looking man, or a man spitting game. It isn't like even long-term oriented women won't make illogical choices in the heat of the moment. Think of all the men that knew that girl was showing signs of being crazy, but slept with her anyway? Otherwise good people make illogical choices all the time.

Where things have really broken down is that women's expectations are out of line. In the old days, a woman had very few or no sexual partners prior to marriage. She got married at 20 or 21, blissfully naive of the cock carousel. These are your 80% of women who still exist today. But with birth control, feminism, careerism, etc. they've been sold a line about empowerment through sleeping around, and that's sexually liberating, blah blah blah. These same women that mildly indulge in sleeping with men outside of a relationship or a marriage would still mostly love to be in a relationship with a high-value man if they could get him to commit. That's where the expectations are out of line. That's why fathers need to guard their unmarried daughters, and also attempt to pair them off with a solid man ASAP.

(12-29-2016 02:36 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

(12-29-2016 01:33 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I totally agree on not lying to a woman about her prospects of securing an LTR. I see that as feeding the beast of societal destruction. But cock carousel gold-members? Dick 'em, chisel in that notch and walk away. Nothing you do or don't do with them is going to alter their destiny.

Even if a girl is not a "cock-carousel gold member" but is open to the occasional casual/short-term relationship, you likely still won't "alter [her] destiny" no matter what you do (or don't do).

In my opinion, the only kind of girl you should be worried about "ruining" is a girl who is legit trying to save herself for marriage, and these kinds of girls usually don't put themselves in casual sex situations to begin with (unless you outright lie to them and promise to marry them, which I agree is sleazy as fuck).

I'd wager there are millions of American women that have notch counts somewhere between 10-15 men. Think about it, if you started having sex at say 18, and slept with 1 or 2 men per year, either in a relationship, or as part of an effort to secure commitment from a man (seen many female friends try this foolish method, yes, women believe they can lock a man down with pussy alone!), it isn't that hard to rack up those kinds of numbers. Even these relatively "low" numbers are very dangerous for a long-term marriage situation.

To fix this situation we need to start telling women the truth about pair bonding, HPV and how easy it is to get (and how it can kill her ability to bear kids later in life), other STD's, how hormonal birth control causes blood clots and so on. Women have been lied to and are largely victims (as are men) in this post-modern world of lies. There are a lot of walking wounded women that aren't horrible people, but honestly drift through life hoping to find a man, but unaware of how. Loneliness is off the charts for both men and women.

One of the ways we as men can collectively improve the women of a nation is to not give women attention when they don't deserve. Don't sleep around with any woman, honestly. Yea, not an easy selling point, but how many men have been hooked for "accidental" pregnancies. How many men have to now pay child support? How many men (collectively) soiled what a few generations ago would have been a great mother, but is now just another girl at the bar to take home? Honestly, if we encouraged all men to stop giving slutty women attention, stop worrying about getting our dicks wet, and instead focus on masculine development and skills to start a family, he could have the game to land a cute girl, marry her and fuck her brains out on the regular. That's what builds civilizations.

While women overwhelmingly have more negative effects from sleeping around, men aren't immune to it. Pregnancy scares, dealing with crazy ex's that pair bonded and now can't let go, a general lowering of respect for women that comes from only gaming sluts or borderline sluts, etc. These are all factors that do not contribute to being a family man in the future. If a man gets into game only to get notches, who is to say when he is going to want to stop? Do you think a relatively chaste woman wants a husband who has been a player most of his life? I think that girl would be right to question that man's values and if he cares so much about variety that he might not be loyal in a marriage.

The only way out from a societal standpoint is for men and women to have less sex partners but more sex with less people, ideally on their honeymoons, but short of that, at the very least attempting to be highly selective before having sex. The easiest way to get this to happen is to encourage daughters not to sleep around, and pair them up with good men. Likewise, men should attempt to marry early whenever possible so they have a sexual outlet in their prime sexual years. Using up your sexual prime (as a man or woman) with people you aren't going to marry doesn't make sense. When you are old and wrinkled, you should look back fondly on those years spent going at it like rabbits with your young wife or husband. That's what led to far less divorce. People were actually bonded, and fought through their problems. It wasn't perfect, it largely worked.

(12-29-2016 02:42 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

(12-29-2016 02:20 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Re: Homeshooling

Country schools are a pretty good choice if you're willing to live away from the suburbs and can't/wont homeschool your kids or can't afford private tuition.

Country folk are fairly red-pill and even though most of the staff are themselves educated in Marxist institutions they keep that bullshit to a minimum because otherwise they'll have a shitload of angry parents banging on the classroom door at the end of the day.

In many instances the staff are red-pill themselves and specifically seek out work in country schools because they don't have to worry about the opposite. Cucks and progresbians banging on their classroom door because they told little Jimmy that he wasn't allowed to swap clothes with little Sally.

Even if there was no Marxist propaganda being taught at public schools, I would still not send my (future) daughter to a public school (especially middle and high school), for the mere fact that she would be in a building full of boys every day with little adult supervision. Leftist ideas can be counteracted by simply explaining to your kids why they are wrong (assuming your kids respect you), but sexual experiences cannot be reversed.

I'd say only if the school was a private one that had a strong religious outlook, run by a strong headmaster. School uniforms, discipline, code of ethics, the whole bit. Baring that, you're better off homeschooling. I strongly agree with the sentiment of home schooling especially for kids in Junior and Highschool. Kids get into a lot of sexual trouble in an age they should be focusing on studying and preparing to enter college or the workforce. Nobody should be having sex at 16, 17 or even 18, ideally. Those prime learning years are for preparing to become an adult, and sex is an adult activity. That's why it is best to pair people off into marriage early. Lastly, we need to improve the economy, especially for men, that way they can be bread winners and marry earlier.

[John Michael Kane]

(12-29-2016 01:20 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

Well, I agree with pretty much everything you said.

Obviously, women are not all "total whores" or "frigid anti-sex virgins" (and I wouldn't want a woman who was either one). Men certainly need to put effort into keeping their wives/daughters away from other men who want to use them for sex. You're right when you say that some women who get pumped and dumped "aren't bad women" and are "lost without a strong, firm hand do help them." But, as you yourself pointed out, it is the responsibility of a girl's family to help her stay away from bad (non-committal) men. If you find yourself in a position where you could have sex with a certain girl, you are probably not the only guy who has found himself in that position with this girl. Nothing you can do or say will "save" her, whether her situation is her own fault or not.

It is a combo of the girl's family, the girl herself and also men that date her. In an ideal world of self-respect and respect of others, there would be no pre-marital sex, that way the pair bonded is reserved for whomever becomes the actual spouses. We all have individual and collective responsibility to do away with as much as possible casual sex. It creates bitter, angry broken women, and also reduces the number of marriage quality women once a man settles down, or tries to.

It is hard to sell someone on the idea that less sex (before marriage) is actually good for society, but that's why people out to marry young. The problem with thinking that you're not the only guy who has been in that position with that girl is that if all guys start thinking like that, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Regardless if it is true or not, we will make it more true simply by always assuming every woman is a slut. By doing so we bring that into reality, regardless if the girl had slutty inclinations or not.

Quote:

I agree that many women end up in bad relationships and/or getting pumped and dumped because they are confused and don't have the proper guidance. I also agree that a man who lies to a woman and says he loves her and offers her his commitment, only to leave her after banging a few times, is a scumbag. But, if the man doesn't lie about his intentions and the woman chooses to sleep with him anyway, then I don't really think the man is at fault.

I believe that for society at large, it would be better if premarital and extramarital sex did not occur. However, as an individual, give me one good reason why I should turn down casual sex with a willing woman? Why should I treat her with more respect than she treats herself? If I were to turn her down for sex, do you think it would steer her away from this type of behavior in the future? I highly doubt it.

If two adults choose to sleep with each other and there's no lying going on, I don't think there's anything intentionally dishonorable. I've been that man several times myself. Not going to pretend I'm some type of saintly virgin man who has held out till marriage. That being said, I do acknowledge that me being that man has reduced the pair bonding ability of the girl (and to a lesser degree myself even) to whomever we both end up marrying.

Casual sex isn't without consequences, which include pregnancy scares, increased chance of STD's, reduced ability to pair bond (especially for women, but to a lesser degree men too), feelings of detachment and abandonment if one party falls for the other and it isn't reciprocated, time and emotional energy better spent on LTR partner, etc.

There's this idea that casual sex doesn't have any effect on the participants. I argue that all actions in the sexual/relationship marketplace have positive or negative consequences. There's no free lunches. The larger marketplace is decided by millions of individual choices made which then contribute or degrade a society writ large.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Pretty sure that having strong dick game from the get-go has made my marriage considerably stronger than it might otherwise have been.

I don't have to wonder what it would be like to sleep with other women, and my wife climaxes more than enough to keep her female bullshit to a minimum.

If I had a hundred notches it might have been a different story, but male virgins are effectively reduced to marrying female virgins and that's a very small dating pool right there, often with access even further limited by patriarchal gatekeepers.

No need to complicate things or get puritanical. Lots and lots of people have perfectly successful marriages when the woman has a low notch count and the man has a medium one. I for one would not be happy if I'd only ever known one woman, no matter how "right" the arrangement supposedly was.

[John Michael Kane]

(12-29-2016 04:22 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Pretty sure that having strong dick game from the get-go has made my marriage considerably stronger than it might otherwise have been.

The amount of "hand" a woman needs varies greatly. Some women love a playful dick. Some want an absolute dick. Some want just a man with a bit of amused mastery. Without knowing your wife, I can't speak what works best, but I'm sure you've made adjustments as needed.

Quote:

I don't have to wonder what it would be like to sleep with other women, and my wife climaxes more than enough to keep her female bullshit to a minimum.

An often unspoken part of what makes a long-term marriage happy. Men that know what they are doing and more importantly, actually making an effort to get their woman off. I'm no prude, I say well done!

A sexually satisfied woman can be like a lump of clay in a man's hands. Highly willing to mold to his expectations.

Quote:

If I had a hundred notches it might have been a different story, but male virgins are effectively reduced to marrying female virgins and that's a very small dating pool right there, often with access even further limited by patriarchal gatekeepers.

That won't happen in any large number unless we have some sort of spiritual revival in this country. There are certainly conservative counter cultures in more rural areas where this isn't as rare as you might think. Several people from my social circle would qualify on those terms. What is needed is a better cultural narrative than casual sex, paired with those gatekeepers you speak about.

Quote:

No need to complicate things or get puritanical. Lots and lots of people have perfectly successful marriages when the woman has a low notch count and the man has a medium one. I for one would not be happy if I'd only ever known one woman, no matter how "right" the arrangement supposedly was.

Certainly, there are many marriages where the notch count for both is greater than zero. I'm speaking in idealistic terms, that I strongly believe there is a correlation between higher notch counts MOST ESPECIALLY for women, but also to a lesser degree men).

I've known some of the biggest pussy hounds around, and down to a man, they have all cheated in marriage. These were guys who had game, but never really cared about anything other than sex, with no long-term relationship skills. They lacked self-awareness and still got married. I feel sorry for their wives.

I think for some guys who get into game, they start treating it like a videogame for notches and unlocked badges, not stopping to think they might be losing a bit of their soul along the way, much less being able to actually be in a LTR/marriage.

[Rob Banks]

(12-29-2016 03:30 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

One of the ways we as men can collectively improve the women of a nation is to not give women attention when they don't deserve. Don't sleep around with any woman, honestly. Yea, not an easy selling point, but how many men have been hooked for "accidental" pregnancies. How many men have to now pay child support? How many men (collectively) soiled what a few generations ago would have been a great mother, but is now just another girl at the bar to take home? Honestly, if we encouraged all men to stop giving slutty women attention, stop worrying about getting our dicks wet, and instead focus on masculine development and skills to start a family, he could have the game to land a cute girl, marry her and fuck her brains out on the regular. That's what builds civilizations.

A few generations ago, the reason men did not go around "ruining" women (like they do today) is because they did not have the opportunity to do so. There has not been any fundamental change in men's nature within the last few generations that would make them any more or less prone to sleeping with available women. What has changed is that today, there are far more opportunities for men to have casual sex. There are also far less opportunities for men to find a good wives. While I agree that the world would be a better place if men opted not to have casual sex, saying that we need to "teach men not to sleep around" is about as effective in preventing promiscuity as saying that we need to "teach men not to rape" is in preventing rape.

Throughout history, the way we prevented women from being pumped and dumped was for fathers to not allow their daughters to hang out alone with men they were not married to. Society in general also frowned upon young, unmarried men and women hanging out together unchaperoned. Additionally, a girl's father would have the final say on who she could and couldn't marry. Although feminists have denounced all this as "sexist" and "oppressive" for over a century, it is the only way for a society to prevent the type of promiscuity we see today that has ruined and brought sexual confusion to entire generations of young men and women.

While it would be great if we could simply persuade men to turn down pussy, that's just not going to happen. By choosing not to take some pussy that is right in front of you, you are only screwing yourself over, and you're not saving anyone.

I fully understand and agree that too much meaningless sex is not always good for men. If you're turning down pussy because you don't think it will benefit you or be fulfilling in any way, that is totally understandable. But don't tell yourself that you're abstaining from sex because you don't want to "ruin" these women. You're right when you say that the men who sleep with a girl are collectively (partially) responsible for her being "ruined," but there's nothing you can do about that. You can only control yourself. If the girl is offering you sex, chances are she will end up "ruined" no matter what.

You say that many women rack up notch counts of around 10-15, and that a lot of them are not bad people, but just sexually confused and victims of leftist indoctrination. So how exactly is it going to help a woman like this if you personally decide not to sleep with her when given the chance? She will still have 9-14 other partners besides you in her lifetime. I understand you are saying that if society encouraged men to avoid casual sex, the other 9-14 guys would possibly abstain as well, but I just don't think that's realistic. There will always be men out there looking for casual hookups and short-term relationships. The only thing you can do is to physically keep your daughters away from these types of men.

(12-29-2016 03:30 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

While women overwhelmingly have more negative effects from sleeping around, men aren't immune to it. Pregnancy scares, dealing with crazy ex's that pair bonded and now can't let go, a general lowering of respect for women that comes from only gaming sluts or borderline sluts, etc. These are all factors that do not contribute to being a family man in the future. If a man gets into game only to get notches, who is to say when he is going to want to stop? Do you think a relatively chaste woman wants a husband who has been a player most of his life? I think that girl would be right to question that man's values and if he cares so much about variety that he might not be loyal in a marriage.

Sexual relationships can certainly affect both men and women very strongly, in very negative ways, and therefore should be taken seriously by both men and women. However, (heterosexual) sex cannot be humiliating and degrading to a man the way it is to a woman. The sexual act is asymmetrical, with the man in the dominant role and the woman in the submissive role. This is why, historically, men were more motivated to prevent their daughters from becoming promiscuous than their sons.

I agree that a woman probably wouldn't want a man who has been a player all his life (although I'm not sure what you mean by "relatively chaste woman." I'm becoming more and more convinced that a woman either saves herself for marriage or she doesn't. There's no in-between). However, I also think that the reason why promiscuous men were considered "dirty" and "sleazy" in past generations is because back then, if a man was promiscuous, it most likely meant that he drank a lot, frequented brothels, and had sleazy friends. It was not easy, back then, for a man to just go out and find attractive women to sleep with (without paying for it). Nowadays, sex is offered way more freely and by more "respectable" girls, so it is less likely that a guy would be considered dirty or sleazy for that.

(12-29-2016 03:30 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

The only way out from a societal standpoint is for men and women to have less sex partners but more sex with less people, ideally on their honeymoons, but short of that, at the very least attempting to be highly selective before having sex. The easiest way to get this to happen is to encourage daughters not to sleep around, and pair them up with good men. Likewise, men should attempt to marry early whenever possible so they have a sexual outlet in their prime sexual years. Using up your sexual prime (as a man or woman) with people you aren't going to marry doesn't make sense. When you are old and wrinkled, you should look back fondly on those years spent going at it like rabbits with your young wife or husband. That's what led to far less divorce. People were actually bonded, and fought through their problems. It wasn't perfect, it largely worked.

I agree. I think some of the absolute worst advice that is being given to current generations of kids is "don't take relationships seriously when you're young." This is harmful to girls for obvious reasons, and it is harmful to boys and young men because their chances of finding a non-used up woman decrease as you get older. There is a reason why so many people talk about their "high-school sweethearts" with nostalgia. However, if a man doesn't happen to find a good woman while he's young (a very real possibility in the modern world), there is no reason for him to deprive himself of sex out of some sort of moral conviction. If anything, depriving yourself of sex is more likely to get you to make foolish decisions, such as marrying a low quality woman just to be able to have sex with her.

(12-29-2016 03:30 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

I'd say only if the school was a private one that had a strong religious outlook, run by a strong headmaster. School uniforms, discipline, code of ethics, the whole bit. Baring that, you're better off homeschooling. I strongly agree with the sentiment of home schooling especially for kids in Junior and Highschool. Kids get into a lot of sexual trouble in an age they should be focusing on studying and preparing to enter college or the workforce. Nobody should be having sex at 16, 17 or even 18, ideally. Those prime learning years are for preparing to become an adult, and sex is an adult activity. That's why it is best to pair people off into marriage early. Lastly, we need to improve the economy, especially for men, that way they can be bread winners and marry earlier.

I personally would only send a daughter to school if it was a single-sex (all-girls) school. Even if the school was religious and the headmaster was competent and in control, kids still hang out with each other after school without any adult supervision. I wouldn't take any chances. I realize that in this situation, I would be one of the only parents (with the exception of my wife) that doesn't buy in to the idea that "experimenting" with sex is "normal" for teenagers. I wouldn't take my chances sending her to a place where boys will be attempting to fuck her, and where most of the adults don't see anything wrong with that.

In fact, if I wanted to really protect my daughter's sexuality, I would probably have to be careful to not let anyone (teachers, etc.) find out about my beliefs. If anyone found out that I wanted my daughter to "save herself for marriage" and that I didn't allow her to hang out with boys, I might get reported to Child Protective Services and have her taken away. Of course I'm exaggerating a little, but in this crazy progressive world, you never know.

[armenia4ever]

UPDATE

Summary

So my wife is about 36 weeks pregnant. This will be our second child and his name will be Nehemiah. Our two sons will be about 10 months apart a.k.a "Irish Twins"

We still are averaging sex twice a day. Often she wants sex multiple times throughout the day.

Lessons Learned

Turns out, women when pregnant are VERY self-conscious. If they don't think they are beautiful and they even remotely think they are fat, their lack of self confidence will be taken out on you.

Your wife's confidence is your responsibility - yet another part of leadership and leading by example.

Finally I realized toward the end of this pregnancy that a lot of her hormonal ups and down were fueled by her (1) worried she wasn't attractive enough and missing her toned body (2) increased bouts of jealousy from the former. (3) If you were a player at all, it will always be in the back of her mind, and while you want your wife to be somewhat jealous after you, it can cause strife when it gets out of control.

Another RVF member who has 3 daughters told me that he tells them he loves them everyday.

I have to do the same for my wife - especially with back-to-back pregnancies. Since she's limited in way's she can relieve stress because of the pregnancy, any problems, emotions, etcs are going to be targeted toward me.

First step in alleviating some of it is to remind her that she is beautiful by physical actions primarily, plus key words of affection. She has to ACTUALLY believe she's beautiful still and her self-confidence and happiness will reciprocate.

Basically, you I have to keep reminding her that I love her and appreciate her efforts. Almost a kind of pampering.

If she isn't getting it through social media, she needs to get it from somewhere, so to speak. In fact, people will tell her she's pretty and how she doesn't even look 8 months pregnant, but she needs to hear it from me.

Now she knows I miss her pre pregnancy body as I've told her. In the meantime I comfort her and let her know that it will be back in pre-pregnancy shape.

[Slam]

Thanks for the update armenia.

Wow man. I would get tired of this after a week! At a certain point the balls are just drained.

(02-04-2017 04:56 PM)armenia4ever Wrote:  

We still are averaging sex twice a day. Often she wants sex multiple times throughout the day.

[John Michael Kane]

Having studied a lot about endocrinology, I can say with a high degree of confidence, that hormone levels in women vary radically based upon genetics, diet, sleep and a host of other factors. Seems like Armenia is blessed with a very high sex drive woman. After having sex twice a day while pregnant, I'm pretty sure that is in the upper 5% for women while with child. Sex is a great mood calmer for a woman, and I think she's on the more emotional side of things, even as women go, so it acts a drug without side-effects. I'm sure they both pass out exhausted each night.

[StrikeBack]

If she has a healthy diet (with plenty of good fats, very important!) and exercise regime, and is very much in love with you, she will want it all the time. My wife and I have a similar frequency, and I try to keep it relatively under control so I can get stuff done at work and compete in 2 sports.

[armenia4ever]

UPDATE

You may have seen pictures of my son Julius, but now he has a brother. (They are only 10 months apart, so unless you want Irish twins, make sure you have that birth control ready after the 1st.)



Early Wednesday morning on the 22nd of February, me and my wife welcomed our second son Nehemiah Quintus Lawrence Temple into the world. He was 7 pounds 6 ounces. Credit to my wife, she decided against an Epidural. (She did have to get some stitches afterwards.)



The last month leading up to his birth was chaotic. During certain days - particularly when a fight broke out - I was dodging punches. Literally.

Surprisingly, a lot of pregnant women are prone to this - if my co-workers and most internet research can be believed.

I'll admit it now, I was NOT prepared for the mood swings. Toward the very absolute end of the pregnancy, we held off on sex for a few days per doctors orders. Sex was usually my nuclear option to stop fights in their tracks - assuming my pride and anger were pushed aside at the moment.

During this period we had one of our worst fights.

I wrote about the experience on my site in some detail as honestly as I could entitled, "Can Your Marriage Survive Pregnancy?" Simply put, at some moments she was a terror. (I recall having to jump off our balcony to escape her as she blocked off the door. We now laugh about it.)

Post Partum?

Ever since my wife - and I'll say her name here - Makayla gave birth shes been a delight to be around. No fights. Nothing. She misses me desperately when I'm at work, and even though we can't have sex for around 6-8 weeks as she recovers - she is constantly wanting to give me blowjobs.|

Right now, she's that sex crazed angel who loves everything about me and desires me at every moment - before she got along with her first pregnancy. She's back. (Note as I've said before, our sex life never died down even during the rough periods.)



I told her the other day that at some points, I had no idea what to do with her and that I thought she was going to destroy the marriage. She's constantly apologized for hitting me, being a bitch, etc. (She points out that she couldn't control her anger when she was seeing red at those times. I must admit, I'm still irked by it regardless.)

While love shouldn't be your only reason for getting married is important. It helped deal with a lot of issues that popped up, as well as give both of us the perseverance to keep going after fights. (Our fights would dissipate in usually just a few hours and everything was great afterwards, but the nasty words had still been uttered.)

This brings up another point. Watch what you say in anger. It's hard to words back.

Support Network

I don't make a great amount of money, and I don't have a career. I've been able to make ends meet with just me working, but money is tight often.

Luckily my parents have helped out and my wife's grandma has showered us with anything we've needed. She bought us one of those nice Newborn swings, a double stroller, and a host of other things ranging from baby food to baby clothes and materials. My parents bought us formula, more food, plus food for ourselves often.



(My dad with both his grandsons.)

I can't understate how VALUEABLE this has been. I don't know if we could have done it without them just from a financial aspect. Having WIC has also helped as our firstborn Julius goes through formula fast, though he now eats tablescraps and stage 3 baby food.

When we were in the hospital which lasted from Tuesday afternoon till Friday, my wife's parents, friends of theirs, and my parents who came down to visit were able to babysit Julius. It made life so much easier on us. (People in my in-laws life groups brought us food during those days as well.) My mom is even going to stay with us for a month to help with Julius as we focus on Nehemiah and grab that extra sleep when we can.


(My father-in-law holding his grandsons)

Right now life is on the up and up, despite our son Nehemiah waking up every 2-3 hours demanding to be fed.

We are gonna watch 50 Shades Darker later tonight and I will be getting a blowjob both during and after.

More updates once my wifes 21st birthday hits in May.

Parting Thought

Know your wife inside and outside. It's imperative you marry a girl who even if you have the worst fights known to man won't lie to the cops, friends, family etc about what goes down.

Women have a lot of power to put you away just based on their word these days, and I feel that could have happened if she wanted it to in at least one of our fights. (No, I didn't do anything.)

My wife absolutely adores me. It helps and because she does, I love her deeply in return, despite the fights we've had. (I suppose daily sex helps. )

Makalya does get jealous sometimes, which is good to a point. To her I'm a hell of a prize, and she wants to be with me for the rest of our lives. The commitment is deep.

Funny story: My wife has told me she will beat up girls who look at me wrong. She was working with me at the time. In fact a girl in another department at where I work was giving me some help and Makayla came over to me - to ensure that girl knew that I'm her man.

When I mentioned Mak was my wife, Mak said the girl gave her a dirty look and now always does when she sees her. Makayla wants to beat her and says the girl looks at me too much. Sometimes it's almost like a primal thing.

[Dream Medicine]

Massive Congrats! Thanks for the beautiful, eye-opening, inspiring post. I look forward to reading more about your life as both a husband and father. Cheers!

[Rawmeo]

^ Good stuff.

To answer the first post, I believe that TRP does not discourage having kids, but it encourages doing so in the right context, i.e. with the proper arrangements to prevent divorce rape, alimony, child support, rape charges, and domestic abuse charges. If, as a man, you can set the frame and date a woman who is worth it, you have all to earn by propagating your genes.

[Graft]

It's unfair to blame neomasculinity and RP thinking for discouraging men to start a family.

To quote Jay-Z: "I didn't choose this life, this life chose me."

Right now, coming up on my late 20's, I see the same problems that everyone in the 'sphere sees:

1) Entitled western women who are unable to pair-bond and contribute feminine energy towards a marriage for a sustained period of time
2) Expansive use of technology which intensifies hypergamy and a FOMO attitude towards hedonistic party culture
3) Decreased influence of religion, which guided societies with timeless wisdom towards lifestyle and mating
4) Marriage laws which encourage the financial and emotional ruination of men
5) Progressive culture intensifying-especially amongst people of power: heads of large corporations, academia, media, and women in their sexual prime
6) A startling trend of broken/nontraditional families. What does family mean anymore? My family revolved around careerism and consumerism as opposed to genuine love and care.
7) An economy which makes it extremely difficult to be the sole breadwinner of a household (This can be fixed with the Trump administration)

That being said, plenty of men ignore these flaws. I've seen a few marriages/engagements in my family and social circle. Some did it correctly, with a virgin that they met early in life. Some took the plunge with a less than worthy woman. I'll assume they'll all have children, and I won't. Most average IQ men casually say they want children, and they'll almost certainly have to settle for a post-carousel woman at the mercy of American society. If that's their choice, then so be it

I don't have the energy and willpower to make a decent living in a difficult economy and raise children while single-handedly fighting an entire system that is disenfranchising myself and my family. I see a lot of noble plans in this thread. I'm not bashing them, but I'm skeptical that moving your family to a rural area, isolating them from all forms of American schooling, media, and technology won't backfire in your face and produce rebellious degenerate children that lead you to the financial and emotional ruin that you were avoiding in the first place.

I'll re-evaluate the situation in 20 years or so. My greatest hope is that a traditional Christian patriarchy will return again, but I'm not banking on it.

Don't count me out of the gene pool though. Who says that in 20 years cloning or genetic modification won't be widely available? I'd rather do that at 50 years old and have complete control over my finances, location, and child-rearing than roll the dice in American society.

The only way I'd feel regret at not starting a family is if I accumulated a significant fortune and had to leave it to charities run by the elite. I have no desire for either my son or daughter to become a useless cog in the corporate machine.

If life quality in the US becomes better over the next 10-15 years, I'll revisit my options. If it stays equal or gets worse, I'm out of the children game.

[armenia4ever]

UPDATE: More Post-Partum. This time I have a full story/segment for you gentleman. Straight from behind the curtain. It's going to be the first in a series I'm starting called: Tales From The Marriage Crypt. This was is called, "Post-Partum Passion". Posted below in full for your convenience because I'm not a click-hog.


------------

Quote:

The women in my life – mom and wife – were fighting again… My wife was starting to go off on me. This did end in end in sex though.

Of course all you Greek Deity’s out there have perfect marriages, kids with IQs that blow those Asian prodigies out of the water, and families so perfect that stains never appear on your clothing. I expect nothing less on the internet from people who aren’t divorced. So it’s time for me to pony up and give you a peek behind the curtain of how life really goes down. Our story begins below.

————————————————————————

Every so often, I’ll post a snippet of what my life is actually like so people know the triumphs and trials of the married man. This is the first in that series. – Lucas
———————————————————————-


Wednesday night.

Wife picked me up from work at 10 Pm. I was mentally exhausted from repeating the same damn mandated call flow nonsense for 11+ hours, stressed and hungry having just 45$ in our bank account till next Friday, and in a state of prevented pain via prescription hydrocodone for having my tooth pulled the other day. It might take the pain away, but the mind fog is dense.

At least my sales were decent for the day for once. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and see the wife. Apparently, I didn’t make this apparent enough. Women, I tell you. More on that later.

We got home and my mom was out with our other car running some errands. This mean we couldn’t visit friends of ours camping as we needed that car and her to babysit. I gave her a few rings, no answer. Not good. I can smell the pheromones of illogical anger in the air. My wife had been looking forward to it so this was the spark that set it off. Stalingrad was to commence. We were about to be in the throes of Post-partum passion.

Some Necessary Context

Marriage isn’t some Disney Fairytale. Instead the mermaid gets shafted, Cinderall doesn’t get that glass slipper on, and no one cares that Bambi’s mother is bleeding out in the cold snow. You can gasp and scream now.

Rather marriage is like a volatile stock market with shouting, confusion, and soaring numbers up and down. On one day, it’s a grind in the muddy forsaken world-war one shell-shocked trenches trenches and it’s all my fault; the other it’s a sexy romp of love, schoolgirl gazes at you, and my wife telling me to hold her close in my arms and never let her go.

No, that’s not an exaggeration, that’s what it’s really like. Consistency is for the weak. Apparently, we men need a constant challenge. In this way, the “hunt” never ends – it just shifts to pacification of the angry peasants about to burn your castle down. You may be king, but she is now Trogdor. When it comes to women, you just don’t know what you are going to get – especially with post-partum. God have mercy on your soul mortal sinner.

My wife and mom have been annoyed with each other on and off. It’s like a small war that picks up every few days with my wife sending recon planes to find weaknesses. My mom is staying with us for several weeks to help with our infant sons.

In my noble appeals to Vulcan logic, I keep pointing out how her feeding our almost year old son Julius in the mornings and now both boys throughout the day while we are at work is invaluable. (She just got a waiting job to help out with the bills, so that’s at least 10 Hugs.) This lets me and my wife to go out on dates for bloody once. Well, it matters not because emotions don’t care about logic. Or being on a date and having a good time.

My wife of course overlooks this when she gets frustrated and mad… well because she’s frustrated and mad. She doesn’t know who will babysit, but she’s frothing, so she doesn’t care. I damn well do, because I know who will have to pick up the pieces and planning later; he’s good looking, sports a beard, and has suave game and is the best father and husband ever to roam the earth. Note, she’s also on her period. It’s like the 5th horseman of the female apocalypse. Long finger nails included.

In fact, several days ago they had a huge argument in which they both yelled and shouted at each other. Since all of our neighbors do this, no one pays it as much attention. Still, it was as is they were both on their periods together. Logic wasn’t working with either. I should know better by now, you would think.

Even more suprising was to just sit there and watch them go at with someone who wasn’t their husband. Specifically, I noticed how old grievances were pulled from the past and hurled back and forth at each other like Chinese fireworks that don’t explode just right always. Passion indeed.

When the chaos broke, my wife had stormed off to our bedroom where she usually hatches hormone driven plots that would make Lilith jealous. Walking into the lions den – her attention was now on me – she demand that I kick my mom or she was going to go to her parents. My mom doesn’t have a car here, so my dad would have to drive down 8 hours to pick her up – whenever he would get free. Makes perfect damn sense.

Every few days or so, my wife will become very annoyed again with mom and demand to me that she gets kicked out. The whole process begins anew like a modem reset. Apparently the porch and the downtown filled with homeless metheads is always a merciful option. I make the point of how she would feel if it was her mom or dad, but to no avail. It will give me a free headache though – the stuff marriages are made of.

Honestly, the annoyances are overblown. It’s just two women that have a problem getting along with each other – only difference being that my wife wont punch out my mom like she did most of the girls who crossed her wrong in highschool. My mom will do small things that accumulate and annoy my wife to the point of her taking it out on me like a tornado on a redneck trailer.

Knocking on the bedroom door when my wife is trying to sleep, put diaper rash cream on one of the boys when my wife doesn’t think he needs it, etc. Doesn’t even matter if my mom needs to ask a legitimate question about our boys, feeding, clothes, etc. My wife is still going to be very annoyed – and that’s all that’s needed to push the spark of, “SHE NEEDS TO GO HOME NOW!:

Problem is because its my mom, she makes it my fault. Several years from now, I’m convinced they will be laughing about this like nothing happened. I’ll just be shaking my head.


Back to recent events: The Post-Partum Passion

We got home and I plopped on the bed for a moment. The wife proceeds to angrily insist my mom needs to go home now. I tell her I’m too tired and in pain for this. Plus there is no winning this impending doom.

It escalates. She’s tired from her new job too. I demand she figure out who will babysit when my mom leaves because our son Nehemiah is too young for any daycares. “I’ll ask about that when you call your dad to pick her up!” she retorts.

“Yea okay”, I think to myself.

It goes to the next step. Suddenly more things are my fault; like how I could drink when she was pregnant and she obviously couldn’t. She wants me to not drink while she goes out and I drive her around. More words bombarding me about how life is unfair. At this point I’m dumbfounded.

What? How…. Nevermind.

There’s a word for this, something about mutual sadism and misery needing company. Next moment I know, she’s threatening to flush her depression meds down the toilet. Yeah, that’s gonna help.

She says that I’m never happy to see her and that I never show it. Huh? Those comfort tests. Sometimes I forget that I actually have to force myself to show some outward emotions so she knows what’s on the inside. Curse the different communication frequencies of the sexes.

None of this makes sense. I can’t reason with her. Doesn’t she KNOW that we need a babysitter to even go out – something most of her family and friends are unavailable for!?!? How man damn times do I have to mention this CRUCIAL fact? Apparently every few minutes isn’t enough. That whole repetition means importance thing; she’s not getting it.

Looks like she is about to cry. Threatening to go to her parents again. Doesn’t she hate them too half the time? Nah, just a rapid love-hate relationship that looks like you brought some back to life on the monitor after they flatlined.

Wtf is happening? Periods are for the brave.

Took me a second but it finally clicked. Words weren’t needed, but physical touch and a hug certainly were. Grabbing her, I gave her that hug and held her tight. I kissed her and it all flowed out. I let her talk about how it made her FEEL for a while. The key was calming her down and then listening to her, slowly dishing out bits of man logic along the way.

I held her and eventually she calmed down, no longer interested with my mom. We make plans for the next day, take a steamy shower, and engage in rough and intense coitus. Powerful orgasms ensued. Yes, that noun choice as deliberate as I like how “coitus” sounds. Nerds.

It’s a simple lesson, but one I keep forgetting until the yelling and fighting irritates me enough. When she’s hormonal and you can’t reason with her, hug her and make sure she orgasms later when that makeup sex occurs right after. You’ll feel like a massive boulder has been lifted off your shoulders.

Yea, that’s really all it took.

Now it’s time for that 14 hour workday where I can repeat myself all over again. Repetition. Fourteen damn hours of it. Call flows suck. Stay in School kids. Read Quintus and if your married read TheFamilyAlpha if your wimpy like me and need to shape up.

----------------------------------- END

[armenia4ever]

UPDATE

1. My wife still hasn't turned me down for sex. I'm serious. Not once.

2. We are still averaging sex twice a day. Yesterday was 4 times.

3. Having two infants within 10 months and 4 days of each other is VERY stressful. Space your kids out a year or so, otherwise the stress of two infants both screaming will get to you and your wife. (Specifically my wife who stays home right now with the boys.)

4. Don't promise ANYTHING, unless you can absolutely come through. I've over-promised, just for real small shit and it blows up if she's in a stressed out mood.

De-escalate through sex.

5. Make your wife feel sexy after pregnancy. (Especially if she's back in good post-partum shape.) If she doesn't feel sexy, you are gonna suffer for it to some extent. Build up her self-confidence.

6. MAKE SURE you live near family and close friends. If you can't get babysitting, it will make life hell for you, especially if you are on a tight budget.

You need grandparents to babysit every now and then, as well as friends to help out. You need to make sure you have backup, so to speak.

7. YOU CAN DO IT. You don't have to be well off, established, ect.

I have two infants. I don't make all that much and it's just me working. Sometimes only 1600 or so in a month. We find a way to stretch it.

What has made it possible is family members who have sent us cash gifts for birthdays, clothes for the boys, even diapers and wipes in bulk. We've had to hit a food pantry a few times, but we are surviving. You can do it.

[Robert Rule]

OP thank you about your last post. question, if I'm young, and not financially there, is it worth it to pursue a marriage, have a kid as soon as possible while being poor but a minimalist. Will my marriage suffer,(girl I'm interested in is religious etc.) And we are helping church, others and starting a family.

[Jean Valjean]

(12-29-2016 03:12 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Grades 0 to 6 are fairly safe, and it allows for them to build friendships and learn to socialise.

Some of the homeschoolers would say that homeschooled kids get more chances to socialize, because they're not constantly being told to pay attention and quit talking to their friends. When I was in school, a lot of times the teacher would actively try to prevent our socializing, for example by making us sit boy-girl-boy-girl at lunch so we wouldn't make so much noise.

[Jean Valjean]

I think RP thinking can discourage families by making men go MGTOW when they reach the Jaded stage:

The Rational Male Wrote:

6. Jaded* – MGTOW Permutations: “Fuck learning all these rules. Sex isn’t worth it and women aren’t that fun anyway. The last thing I want to do is learn routines or the 5 stages of pickup. There’s too many websites, too much to read, I can’t remember it all much less sort it all out. Who has all that time to go out and chat up women anyway? It’s not like I see any women under 40 at work at my engineering job to practice on. Video games and porn are more fun and more available. I just haffta look good and let the women come to me”

* This is a late addition to the list, hardly original and arguably relevant, but I added it for precautionary measures.

The men who would get jaded and discouraged by that stuff, though, maybe SHOULD stay single, because they can't handle the responsibilities involved in having a wife.

[armenia4ever]

(05-08-2017 10:13 PM)Robert Rule Wrote:  

OP thank you about your last post. question, if I'm young, and not financially there, is it worth it to pursue a marriage, have a kid as soon as possible while being poor but a minimalist. Will my marriage suffer,(girl I'm interested in is religious etc.) And we are helping church, others and starting a family.

1. It's worth it, just don't rush it necessarily. The girl has to be absolutely in to you, share your goals, etc.

When it comes to game, you HAVE to be your absolute truthful self with her - with everything you believe and hold to principle.

For instance my wife knows what I believe concerning Red Pill ideas, masculinity, and that I'm active on this forum.

I don't have to hide ANYTHING.

That's the girl you are looking for. Any girl you have to hide things from, you need to weed out ASAP. Also I can't understate how important it is that she LOVES you, and you her. I'm talking real love, not the shit that people pretend to have today.

You need more than love, but it's essential.

2. YOU have TO HAVE support. Church family is key, as well as close friends and family. You will need help with everything from diapers and strollers to clothes and baby food if you are tightly budgeting.

You don't need to make a bunch, you need people who can help with babysitting and bringing a meal maybe.

Kids are incredible. Every time my oldest son smiles at me, I realize its all been worth it. It's one of the best feelings besides sex that you can have.

It does however require sacrifice. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed him and his brother. Budgeting for formula and baby food. All of it.

Note there are services like WIC which you should ABSOLUTELY get if you don't make much. Your assumed wife would qualify. Food stamps might be possible too. You'd probably be able to get Medicaid.

Don't be afraid to use government services. Consider it payback for everything you've paid in taxes. Also note the EIC credit for just one kid. We got 4.5k back from the feds this year.

[Teedub]

Two fairly relevant videos. I'd love to have children, with a white English woman, but it's a damn shame so many are moronic sheep who who don't give a damn about European identity etc. At least Canada and the US has women who, at least superficially, hold anti-feminist views. In the UK it's very rare to find an educated women who isn't a cultural lefty.