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third date: girl brings friends/guy friend
#1

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

So I went on two dates with this girl, who is 23.
On our first date it was a group 'date' because it was her and her female friends who suggested to go to a club.
We went there, we had fun, I went for the kiss, makeout, heavy grinding etc. Later on she was holding my hand and hugging me etc etc. we almost fvcked but she did not want to leave her female friends...

Four days later I texted her to ask her out , she agreed. Then the day of the date, she texted me to change plans because she said she was a bit sick and did not want to go to a latin club, so we went to a coffee shop instead.
We had a very good conversation, I really liked her personality, we clicked. I kissed her, she kissed me a lot, we made out etc. We went for a walk while holding hands.
When I dropped her off we made out like crazy in my car for like 40 minutes. I suggested to go upstairs but she denied.

Three days later I ask her out and she takes many hours to reply (which she never did before. She always took less than an hour):
[i]me: blah blah, lets go to have a drink and to dance next Friday or Saturday
her: I cant Friday cause I have a birthday party, but Saturday is fine. Text me in the morning.
me: uhm yeah, that sounds very good. Saturday 11 pm then.
her: hehehe alright :**
[/i]

Here it comes the big mess:

On Saturday evening she texts me and tells me if I want to grab dinner with her female friends first, and then we go to dance etc. I say fine, tell me the time and place.
She takes 3 hours to reply and tells me that they are not going to have dinner, but to have a drink if I want to join them first and then we two leave. I agree.
Then she texts me and asks me if her female friends can come with us. (?!!)
After thinking about it and getting mad, I text her and say fine (just to see if it turned out good, eventhough I felt something was off).

At 23:15 I go to the bar where she is with her female friends having a drink. I talk to all of them (Cute chicks), blah blah...I see she's texting someone...SHE SAYS: oh good, a guy friend of mine is coming also.
And after a few minutes a skinny guy that looks nerdy appears.
After a while I say ok lets go to the salsa club, and all her female friends say they are not coming but THIS DAMN GUY IS COMING because SHE INVITED HIM.

I am getting furious but I look fine and unnafected. I drive us to the latin club.
There I dance two songs with this girl, she seems into me (or I thought so). She dances with this dude as well ok. (he dances little).
I try to be charming and look natural and unnafected.
I ask this guy why does he know this chick and he tells me that he is friends with a friend of this chick and she told him yesterday to come with 'us' cause he's leaving the city in two days.

I test her and wait for her to come close to me, you know, I wanted to see if she wanted to be affectionate. She doesn't kiss me or caress me or anything when in the previous dates she did.
Many girls come to ask me to dance, one after another, after another...like 5 or 6 girls/women.

After 1.5 hours and no love from her and this fvcking dude orbiting her, I had enough so I said ok lets go. They get a taxi cause they are headed in the same direction.


That was it.
WHAT THE FVCK HAPPENED TO THIS GIRL??? in the last two dates she was SUPER INTO ME, trust me, very into me, we clicked nicely, and now she messes everything, brings HER FEMALE FRIENDS FIRST, AND THEN A GUY??! and SHE DOESNT EVEN KISS ME OR ANYTHING???


Explanation please?
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#2

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

You let her dictate the terms over and over and you're surprised she is dicking you around?

If it was me, I probably would have bailed before the third date even started. Taking hours too reply? Changes the whole dynamic of the meet up? Fuck that, I'd find something else to do.

Don't let your thirst rule you.
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#3

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 06:29 AM)CodyB Wrote:  

You let her dictate the terms over and over and you're surprised she is dicking you around?

If it was me, I probably would have bailed before the third date even started. Taking hours too reply? Changes the whole dynamic of the meet up? Fuck that, I'd find something else to do.

Don't let your thirst rule you.

Well said.

Quote:Quote:

On Saturday evening she texts me and tells me if I want to grab dinner with her female friends first, and then we go to dance etc. I say fine, tell me the time and place.

1. If you don't want her bringing in other people why would you agree to such an arrangement? This is primarily where you go wrong.

2. Moreover, take COntrol more of the situation. Dictate to her, not the other way around. Don't be a whisper in the wind going every which way agreeing to every suggestion or you end up in some dumb circumstance such as this.

3. Have more going on in your life, so you can say no.
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#4

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 06:29 AM)CodyB Wrote:  

You let her dictate the terms over and over and you're surprised she is dicking you around?

If it was me, I probably would have bailed before the third date even started. Taking hours too reply? Changes the whole dynamic of the meet up? Fuck that, I'd find something else to do.

Don't let your thirst rule you.

This x 1000

When she replied with the no dinner thing you should have said you had other plans, or better yet actually had other plans.

It's all good, it's all experience.
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#5

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

it is funny how girls always give you a reason for why they have no time.

what is this thing with acting unaffected, by the way? why hide your personality and preferences for a bitch?

Book discussion platform: Alpha Book Club
Blog: Man Without Father
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#6

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

[Image: not-that-into-you.jpg]
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#7

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 07:02 AM)TomArrow Wrote:  

it is funny how girls always give you a reason for why they have no time.

what is this thing with acting unaffected, by the way? why hide your personality and preferences for a bitch?

When a girl makes an excuse I take that as "OK, I need to step my game up." She doesn't like me yet.

You know she likes you when she makes time, even if she's very busy. That's a good litmus test. You are cutting through the noise and doing your job.

[Image: attachment.jpg28289]   
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#8

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Cody is Bang on with his response! She's been controlling the frame ever since you guys started dating. One way to avoid this next time is to lead all the way. You somehow communicated to her that you felt lucky dating and kissing her, and at 23 when a chick feels that, you're pretty much out of the picture. 2 takeaways for you to learn on this one.

1= No more makeout with a Bitch for 40 min anymore! She has to pony up and invest her time to be in my presence for this long. 2= The next time a Bitch tries to mess up your plans like that you have to say No. I know it's hard, but that's the way to establish the value of your time and make her miss you as well.
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#9

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 07:17 AM)Lights Wrote:  

Quote: (09-27-2015 07:02 AM)TomArrow Wrote:  

it is funny how girls always give you a reason for why they have no time.

what is this thing with acting unaffected, by the way? why hide your personality and preferences for a bitch?

When a girl makes an excuse I take that as "OK, I need to step my game up." She doesn't like me yet.

You know she likes you when she makes time, even if she's very busy. That's a good litmus test. You are cutting through the noise and doing your job.

my guess was that she wants to test whether i consider myself more important than that particular activity. else she could simply say 'no time'. i see it as a qualification.

Book discussion platform: Alpha Book Club
Blog: Man Without Father
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#10

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 05:30 AM)heman29 Wrote:  

On our first date it was a group 'date' because it was her and her female friends who suggested to go to a club.

While you did get a bit of action with this girl, it seems like you doomed yourself by getting off on the wrong footing with that group date.

Never do a group date on the 1st date and only until after you have banged. Especially with her female friends, come on man, thats a basic guarantee you are not sleeping with her that night.

Sounds like you need a Bang refresh:
Quote:Quote:

Don't make it harder on yourself by scheduling a first date with a group or another couple. Resist if she tries to invite you to a party with her friends and be suspicious if she runs into a friend during the date. You want the first date to be in isolation or you are back to when you first met her, competing for her attention and dealing with cockblockers.

Side from you pissing away the frame and bending over backwards for her later, things probably would have transpired in your favor if you would have just ran a normal first date.
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#11

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

see this, I think I did fine for the first and second date cause she seemed very into me, and we were horny as fvck but she did not want to go back to her place.

Anyway, there was a change after the second date (probably another guy in the picture). When I asked her out for the third date
1) she took 3.5 hours to reply which she never did before. (so she was not so sure about meeting me).
2) agreed but said to text her Saturday morning, I declined and said: "Saturday at 11 pm."
3) she change our date and wanted her female friends to come along.
4) she brought some guy 'friend' of hers.
5) she did not get physical with me at all.


So in conclusion, I should have not agreed to the dinner thing with her female friends you say? I found it ok because she said that we would have dinner with them and then WE WOULD GO TO THE LATIN CLUB JUST THE TWO OF US, but she lied and manipulated me cause she INVITED A GUY TO COME WITH US, and also told me that her girl friend may come as well, but she said before it was just the two of us.

When she told me her nerdy guy 'friend' was also coming I thought about ejecting, but in 2 mins he was already sitting with us and the rest of her female friends.

Anyway...why did she do this? what's the objective behind this?
I mean, in the previous dates she seemed very nice, smart, polite, and INTO ME (heavy make out, boobs grab, ass grab etc. She even got on top of me in my car)

1 If she is not into me anymore, all of a sudden, why not just cancel the date?
2 how the fvck did she think it was appropiate to bring a guy friend??
3 Is she crazy?
4 Did she want an ego boost having two guys around her?


Up until this moment she seemed a quality girl.
But now it is crystal clear that she did not want anything physical/sexual with me.

I am not planing on seing her again unless she seems super interested in meeting me and getting physical.
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#12

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Are you trolling us man? Women are a fickle bunch, one day they are 100% into you, the next they ghost you. From hot to cold in a flash. Anything is possible with them. Stop wasting your time trying to figure out what is going through her head now. Focus on what you did.

Yeah you got some action, but you must strike while the iron is hot and not think "oh well, i'll get it next meetup", because for all you know this time will be the last time you see her.

You need to stop submitting to her date demands, you are letting her take control from the get go with that and you are setting yourself up for bullshit like this. Take control and frame by establishing the terms of the dates and you won't run into this shit. If she doesn't agree or is "too busy" to take part in them then she wasn't worth the time in the first place. Simple as that.
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#13

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

You are the man, therefore you are supposed to dictate the terms. Never agree on a date with her "girl friends", no matter how hot they might be.

That time, by inviting him to come too, she plain disrespected you. You should simply ditch her and move on. You shouldn't even have followed them.

Girls change their minds pretty quick, take that as a loss and move on.
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#14

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

It's o.k. to compromise a little, to show your flexible and not 'controlling ', i.e., time, date, place, etc etc, but you should never let her delegate or steer away from your plan. If it's clear that she is not going to compromise and insists that she can't do anythi ng unless it's on her time then you say, " well xxxxx, i called/texted/messages to see if we could get a fun date going but it seems that you have too much going on right now to date properly. If you find some proper time for dating, you've got my number. No hard feelings buddy." And end the interactions for atleast 3weeks. You can try a restart after that but your looking fir her ti attempt to reconcile. She may still text and talk and you HAVE to have to deny her this. Keep it short and Use a lot of radio silence. She will do this if you left her with a good impression but she's really fishing for attention. The goal here is to show that you dont have time to chit chat or text extended periods without getting anything out of it. There are other girls and better ways to spend your time so dont be afraid to exercise this.

Never allow a woman to invite friends, male or female. If she tries to then you tell her that, ' you were looking forward to getting to know you, and showing you a good time. I don't know your friends and i asked you out to know you better, not them. '
She'll make up some excuse about how cool /awesome they are and you should totally let them come. Agree and disassociate.
Ex,. " I'm sure your friends are every bit as cool as you say but look, im not gonna be that guy that tags along with a girl while she's hanging out with her buds. You wanna get with them? Go for it, when you wanna have some fun and create some stories to tell your friends, call me. In my mind, dating is not a group activity. And you dont want your friends seeing how interesting/sexy/funny/fun anyways unless your making competition *smirk*"

Use it line for line or insert your own words, doesn't matter. The onlu that matters is that you see how and why these conversation snippets work at gauging interest, getting compkiance, demonstrating value (personal time value) and setting/maintaining frame. You figure that out and the words will come but my best advice, and most consolidated is this. " be firm, but flexible. Be strong yet yielding. Show willingness to walk away, and stick to it if she gives reason. This is your life to live, on your terms. Invite her to join. If she won't do it, or wants to change things more than your willing to allow, walk away andn prove to her, and yourself, that your time and desires are unaaffected by no one save your self."

As for your above wuestions, your looking at it the wrong way. You are trying to apply logic to an illogical creature. If there is a reason she did all that then my guess ( and its the same with every girl) is that she's shit testing me. When you allowed this to happen and didn't eject, you told her that ," girl you can do what you want and ill follow you around because I'm thirsty and feel good just being near." When you fail these shit tests, then your just like that guy friend she brought along.
If i were you, and compromised to dinner with friends then I would have said this when she was manipulating her friends to the xlub.
" look girl, this date was supposed to be for us getting to know each other, i let you bring your friends to dinner when i should have spent my time better else where. I'm willing to give you this last shot to prove tha t you can be a fun girl that I'd like to get to know but your gonna have to tell your friends, buddy boy included, that your sorry to have to do this but you are going to hang out with me and you will call/text then later."
Let her hamster reel but STICK TO YOUR WORD! - Many men are afraid to show anger thinking it turns women off. This is true only in certain cases but here, showing a little bit of anger (controlled, not offended butthurt boo hoo in lashing bacm anger but irritated and controlled, show some) works to your benefit. It shows that your not like hose bitch boys but rather the man in charge. Give her the chance to leave her friends and say , it was nice meeting you, if she says no, if they do not go then I do not go.

Overall, you went from alpha to beta in 3 dates. Exactly like hat guy she brought along. When you didn't put your foot down and draw the line, you turned in to the orbiter.
Not trying to be mean buddy just saying it how I see it
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#15

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

She set the frame. You lived in her frame. Her world.

Pre bang, in the initial courting stage, It's your frame or the highway.

There are certain compromises you can make after you bang a girl. You don't want to be a non-rigid dick per se. It's just she was setting the frame with all these "safety nets" ie....cock blocks, that you banging her/getting her to your place was not going to happen.

What you should have done when she started up with all this BS about taking a long time to reply and meet with her friends etc is text her something like:

"sounds like you've got a lot going on w friends. something came up with my friends too. when you figure your schedule let me know. there's an amazing place id love to show you."

Or some such. Put the ball in her court. Tell her, subtly in a non butthurt way, you want to see her on your terms which is alone with her. If she prefers to hang with her friends, so be it. You won't participate as an orbiter.

- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
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#16

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

How many times did she rearrange plans?

I would have acted even more "iffy" every time she proposed a new plan.
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#17

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Two guys. One date [Image: lol.gif]

Dating isn't dating anymore. It's hanging out. There's no correlation between dating and banging. I think you have a better chance of texting "Let's fuck" these days.

Team Nachos
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#18

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

alright thanks for the replies.

I understand what many of you have said, and I agree. I must not be SO FLEXIBLE.
I went from alpha to beta in this last date cause she started to mess things up and manipulate me, but she made it in such a progressively way (over a few hours...now this...now that...) that the more time that passed the deeper I was in the well.

I thought about cancelling it or ejecting several times at different points cause I was getting furious slowly, but I wanted to be 'flexible' to see if I could get something good out of the situation, but I should have not been that flexible and when she said if I minded if she brought her friends to the club as well, I should have said that indeed I minded.

Anyway, if you've had two dates with a chick and in your third date she wants to bring her friends (so there wont be any action) she's lost interest already, right? because instead of her interest going up in each date, it has gone up and now has gone too low.

If her interest level had not dropped so much so quickly she would not have said anything about bringing her friends, right?
why da fvck did she go from super into me to nothing or frienzoning me?

Update:
now she's texted me to ask 'if she left her pink bottle of water in my car'.
What da fck?
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#19

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

40 minutes of makout with no escalation is a terrible no-no. You should be winding your hands down to her crotch within 10
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#20

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

OP do you have some kind of problem spelling out the word FUCK?
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#21

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

This was over from the comment you made on the second line, you went on a group date.

That is not a date, but a get together with a group of people.

You got the second date, which was in a coffee shop. Not good.

You held her hands. Not good.

You made out in the car for 40 minutes. Not good. You could have banged her in the car, she probably wanted that.

From the group date on she held all the cards.

You also thought she was special, she isn't.

Read the forum, lots of case studies to learn from.

Our New Blog:

http://www.repstylez.com
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#22

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Kissing is the gateway to shtooping. When you stopped at kissing and didn't escalate you told her that "you love her" and "want a relationship".

Sex first. Relationship second ....if ever.

Girls kiss as a formality before sex. They do it to convince themselves(in the moment) that they love you. Because it's not slutty if they love you. Even if it's in the moment. Get it? Keep pushing for sex [Image: hump.gif] She'll let you know if you're moving to fast. But she won't tell you that you're moving too slow. She'll just go radio silence.

Took me a long time to learn that.

Team Nachos
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#23

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

why do you assume I did not try to escalate more?

IN the first date I told her to go back to her place but she did not want to leave her friends in the club.

In the second date when we were making out like crazy in my car, I grabbed her boobs under her shirt and I tried to caress her pussy but she stopped my had two times, and she was a bit sick.


Now she's asking me about some stupid pink bottle she left at my car but since I do not really want to see her again unless she wants to meet in normal conditions, I've told her that I haven't seen her bottle in the car. Really, I dont want to meet with her just to give her bottle back you know...
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#24

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Quote: (09-27-2015 02:11 PM)heman29 Wrote:  

why do you assume I did not try to escalate more?

IN the first date I told her to go back to her place but she did not want to leave her friends in the club.

In the second date when we were making out like crazy in my car, I grabbed her boobs under her shirt and I tried to caress her pussy but she stopped my had two times, and she was sick btw.


Now she's asking me about some stupid pink bottle she left at my car but since I do not really want to see her again unless she wants to meet in normal conditions, I've told her that I haven't seen her bottle in the car. Really, I dont want to meet with her just to give her bottle back you know...

he likely assumes it because you did not write about that.

if you do not want to meet her because of a bottle: do not do it. your life, your choice. if it was me, i may feel quite ashamed of being that selfish, but ultimately, these days, i would probably end up saying / texting something like: listen. i want to fuck you. if you do not want to do that, i do not care about your damn bottle.

edit: if you do not tell her what you think / want, she can not know. do not assume she can read your mind. if you let her walk over you, she will. not because she is evil (that depends on the definition), but because she enjoys having that freedom with you. it sounds cruel, but from her perspective it is not.

Book discussion platform: Alpha Book Club
Blog: Man Without Father
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#25

third date: girl brings friends/guy friend

Typical flaky, hot-cold behavior pattern from modern womynzzz. Next time you get invited on a group date, radio silence or flake out yourself and restart later.

At this point, you need to ghost this chick for a while and ping her again when you reset your frame. A few weeks. That way, she thinks you're busy dating other womynzz and doing some cool shiz. She senses beta neediness right now and by radio silence, you establish that you're not. If she agrees to meet again after the ghosting, CANCEL on her! Then reschedule....If she asks what you've been up to and why you "went away", tell her you've just been "busy". Leave it at that to allow proper hamster spin. Then proceed accordingly. It's a shitty process, but you're dealing with illogical female hindbrains.
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