[krazyhorze]

Hello Gents,

First a little background. This girl I'm interested in runs in the same professional circles as I. We have done a little business together and hope to do more. However, she is a decent girl and a cutie so naturally I want a little more. She follows my lead; lets me touch her, she stand very close to me (proximity) she responds to my texts, if I want to see her she is available, she even offered to cook me dinner. Sounds like a slam dunk, I know but here comes the shit test and things go a little south.

She knows girls in our circles and started asking if I slept with them. My silence and facial expression confirmed her suspicions and probably investigation. She probably felt the sexual tension building because she proceeds to tell me, without me asking, that she is dating someone casual but it's nothing serious. That she doesn't know what the future holds for our relationship but for now we should be friends. I have been friend zoned before but this didn't feel quit like it (maybe I"m just wishful thinking). I mean she didn't say I ONLY see you as a friend, right?

I think she might be concern about her professional reputation getting involved with me since she knows other woman have been with me. Maybe she doesn't want it to be just a night hook up... I don't know.

I planned on kissing her that night but she throw me off my game with her "friend" comment. Anyways, she offered to cook dinner for me at my place next week.

I'm I being friend zone or maybe the shit test was to show more commitment, that I won't play with her heart? I can't tell which variation of the shit test it was.

[eradicator]

Good grief. Agree and amplify.

If she says she just wants to be friends, you say, "Yeah, let's be friends" then make out with her. I am saying this for future reference. You already fucked up. You went out with her and did not bang or even kiss, I'd say you are done.

[OregonToSoCal]

(08-21-2015 04:24 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

Good grief. Agree and amplify.

If she says she just wants to be friends, you say, "Yeah, let's be friends" then make out with her. I am saying this for future reference. You already fucked up. You went out with her and did not bang or even kiss, I'd say you are done.

Exactly! If she asked me that same question I would say "of course, I've slept with every one of them and let me tell you "Jane" is quite the freak" said with a smirk.

[kaotic]

"Only the cute ones" -grin-

OTSG's is a good one.


You blew it, she dropped the "Im banging dudes" nuke.


Your only hail mary is to hangout with her and go for the makeout then bang - if she rejects you - just bounce, no hard feelings.

[HenryM]

I advise totally avoiding dating women in your professsional circle. Not a position beyond reproach, but it has worked wonders for me. I focus on career--not sex goals--within my professional circle, which has been a real boon compared to my blue-pill self. Plus, I need to cultivate other avenues for pussy options, which makes me a more well-rounded guy than most of my colleagues.

[kaotic]

(08-22-2015 12:39 AM)HenryM Wrote:  

I advise totally avoiding dating women in your professsional circle. Not a position beyond reproach, but it has worked wonders for me. I focus on career--not sex goals--within my professional circle, which has been a real boon compared to my blue-pill self. Plus, I need to cultivate other avenues for pussy options, which makes me a more well-rounded guy than most of my colleagues.

Henry is absolutely right - I retract my last statement.

DO NOT shit where you eat. Especially if it's in a career corporate environment.

Women will shit all over you and play other men against you, master manipulators.

If this was a teenage job, I'd say yeah let's go for the bang.

If this is a distant professional group and industry then yeah maybe.

You've done some business with her actually, I'd eject and be glad she friend zoned you.

If anything expand into her circle of girlfriends.

[amusedmastery]

This is a recipe for disaster. Accept the friend zone in this case and continue to do business with this chick. Do not mess with your career over a woman. I repeat. It is not worth it. Also, do not let her in your house! Dude! This is business! Your livelihood is possibly at stake. Game other women. Do you think Donald Trump lets some bitch he's about to close a deal with come cook for him and tries to bang her? Hell no. He went and found a hot EE model wife and prob has a harem on the side. Sheesh. Stop this.

[HankMoody]

You're letting her set the frame. Judge her by actions, not by words.

Basically, women just say a bunch of stupid shit. A lot of times it's contradictory, nonsensical, and contrary to what the hamster wheel is telling her. I tune most of it out at this point.

She could say all that and a second later you could just say "okay" and kiss her. She'd probably be blowing you the next morning several times, after an evening of hot sex.

Take the interaction in whatever direction you want to. Women don't have any kind of a "master plan".

[C-Note]

(08-22-2015 06:41 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You've done some business with her actually, I'd eject and be glad she friend zoned you.

If anything expand into her circle of girlfriends.

Would it have been ok for him to answer her with something like, "Great! Let's just be friends. By the way, I am looking so would you be a good friend and introduce me to your single girlfriends?"

[greekgod]

(08-23-2015 08:13 PM)C-Note Wrote:  

(08-22-2015 06:41 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You've done some business with her actually, I'd eject and be glad she friend zoned you.

If anything expand into her circle of girlfriends.

Would it have been ok for him to answer her with something like, "Great! Let's just be friends. By the way, I am looking so would you be a good friend and introduce me to your single girlfriends?"

Probably not because its too late in the game for that type of indirectness. They are isolated and know each other so time to take more direct action.

The statement you proposed add more variables and people to the equation. It gives her infinitely more material to test him with as well.

If the goal is just notches then sure go for it. If the goal, as I suspect, is her then he has playfully and covertly communicate there are other chicks and its no big deal.

[krazyhorze]

Update:

It's my business so I'm not afraid of it affecting me. She's my contractor, not employee. I contract her to do some work for me sometimes. I'm at the top of the food chain so no risk of some boss taking me to HR (I am the boss).

I tried to kiss her but she turned her head. She said, it's better if we don't since we are going to be working long night together. I basically let it go. I ignore her, don't speak to her unless I have to. I'm polite but don't speak with her of anything else besides work.

You know I actually feel sorry for her, even though she is the one who friend zoned me. I really liked this girl, If things would have gone great between us she could have been a partner of mine (I mean personally) and by that take a bigger stake in my business. However, the more I ignore her the more I just see her as a cog in my business wheel. It's amazing because she still serves me, she does what I tell her to do, and does it when I want her to do it. She could have served me as a wife but instead all she will serve me as is her employer. The most she will ever be to me now is a valuable contract when before she could have been an irreplaceable family member. I'm gonna write a more detail post about this. It has me thinking.

[Exquirenoir]

-You gave it a second try and it didn't work out .That's admirable and I would just leave it alone. Meaning not even thinking about her in that sense in other than professional.

-Drop the whole oneitis thinking . You haven't had any type of real "teammate" relationship with her and you think she is gonna be family . C'mon.

-There are too many women out here to be thinking she is the one and you haven't even smashed yet .

-Live,Learn and Game on.

[Rawmeo]

A girl can't hurt a man with options. Don't shit where you eat.

[PapayaTapper]

(09-21-2015 08:45 PM)krazyhorze Wrote:  

Update:

It's my business so I'm not afraid of it affecting me. She's my contractor, not employee. I contract her to do some work for me sometimes. I'm at the top of the food chain so no risk of some boss taking me to HR (I am the boss).

I tried to kiss her but she turned her head. She said, it's better if we don't since we are going to be working long night together. I basically let it go. I ignore her, don't speak to her unless I have to. I'm polite but don't speak with her of anything else besides work.

You know I actually feel sorry for her, even though she is the one who friend zoned me. I really liked this girl, If things would have gone great between us she could have been a partner of mine (I mean personally) and by that take a bigger stake in my business. However, the more I ignore her the more I just see her as a cog in my business wheel. It's amazing because she still serves me, she does what I tell her to do, and does it when I want her to do it. She could have served me as a wife but instead all she will serve me as is her employer. The most she will ever be to me now is a valuable contract when before she could have been an irreplaceable family member. I'm gonna write a more detail post about this. It has me thinking.

Are you in a western world country?

If so his is worse than if you were her co-worker. Being the power position means you are running, willingly straight into a sexual harassment lawsuit by hitting on her

That and the fact that you are sizing up a girl, that is your subordinate, you barely know, that friend zoned you, as wife material right out of the gate shows you have a lot to learn about life, game and even business. Lucky for you you came to the right place...this forum.

[AneroidOcean]

(09-21-2015 08:45 PM)krazyhorze Wrote:  

It's amazing because she still serves me, she does what I tell her to do, and does it when I want her to do it. She could have served me as a wife but instead all she will serve me as is her employer. The most she will ever be to me now is a valuable contract when before she could have been an irreplaceable family member. I'm gonna write a more detail post about this. It has me thinking.

She still serves you? No, she still does what you want because you PAY HER. THAT'S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Y6CIyyBcI

You're deluded if you think she "serves you."

I feel sorry for you that you already had thoughts of her being an irreplaceable family member before ever even having a moment of knowing her in a non-work environment. That's truly sad.

Please, write more detail about this, because you should have it all documented so that you can never forget how far off base you were (I'm hoping you will change for the better and open your mind).

You have a serious disconnect from reality in this area. Consider what others are telling you. If you expect us to give you the answer that you believe, you're in the wrong place.

EDIT: Wait, is this all the SAME girl? Why are you making posts all about the same girl (or at least a situation that seems suspiciously similar)?

thread-50585...pid1116443
and
thread-50160...pid1101625

If you would only listen to yourself (I added the bold):

(08-31-2015 12:48 PM)krazyhorze Wrote:  

It's amazing how bias we become when we are personally involved in something. I'll move on to the next.

[Pyrrhic victory]

It seems like it's déjà vu postings every other day here about messing around with a coworker, employee , boss , contractor, etc

The usual rationalization of "if doesn't bother me because " runs it's course until the sexual harassment or false rape charges hit.

That's the precise moment when everyone realizes that was not a good decision.

don't do it. Find someone outside of your professional circle to hook up with.

[PapayaTapper]

(09-22-2015 06:57 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(09-21-2015 08:45 PM)krazyhorze Wrote:  

It's amazing because she still serves me, she does what I tell her to do, and does it when I want her to do it. She could have served me as a wife but instead all she will serve me as is her employer. The most she will ever be to me now is a valuable contract when before she could have been an irreplaceable family member. I'm gonna write a more detail post about this. It has me thinking.

She still serves you? No, she still does what you want because you PAY HER. THAT'S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Y6CIyyBcI

You're deluded if you think she "serves you."

I feel sorry for you that you already had thoughts of her being an irreplaceable family member before ever even having a moment of knowing her in a non-work environment. That's truly sad.

Please, write more detail about this, because you should have it all documented so that you can never forget how far off base you were (I'm hoping you will change for the better and open your mind).

You have a serious disconnect from reality in this area. Consider what others are telling you. If you expect us to give you the answer that you believe, you're in the wrong place.

EDIT: Wait, is this all the SAME girl? Why are you making posts all about the same girl (or at least a situation that seems suspiciously similar)?

thread-50585...pid1116443
and
thread-50160...pid1101625

If you would only listen to yourself (I added the bold):

(08-31-2015 12:48 PM)krazyhorze Wrote:  

It's amazing how bias we become when we are personally involved in something. I'll move on to the next.

^^^^^KrazyHorse

[Tempus Thales]

One thing I've learned about women in the workplace is that they know they have you over a barrel if you even say something that might "cross the line." They might never use it against you, but they know that they have that option, that they have that arrow in their quiver. That means they always feel they have some power over you, even unconsciously. That changes the dynamic in the relationship. She can be madly in love with you, or just a slut who fucks everyone in the office, it doesn't matter. She knows she has the option to turn you into HR, file a suit against you, or even just spread rumors about you to your other contractors or vendors. Women and their feelings are not static. Just because she is cool with something today doesn't mean she won't wake up tomorrow and decide she feels the complete opposite about it. Then all those things that were mutual yesterday are things you inflicted on her against her will today.