[oceanpua]

Day 0

The night has arrived. I am on my flight headed for Stockholm, unable to sleep. I’m anxious and excited at the same time. And not to mention, horny. After getting let down by Airbnb twice, I finally managed to find a hotel at the heart of Normalm for 6 nights. It ended up being a bit more pricey than I’d have liked, but for the price, I think I may have hit the logistical jackpot for daygame, so I am satisfied. Knock on wood, though.

This trip is a defining moment in my life in many ways:

I am traveling solo. I have never done this before; my previous trips abroad have been with parents or with buddies. I am an introvert by nature, I daygame in NYC solo, I am a voracious reader, and I am a computer geek. But I have always been near friends or have at least always felt it easy to invite someone to grab a beer if I am in the mood. I have been pretty lucky in that respect. But during these next 6 nights, I will be completely alone. I know absolutely no one in Stockholm. This makes me anxious, but I am treating it like a psychological challenge to myself to not let it bother me and to not let it effect my game.

I will consider this trip a success if I get the Swedish flag. This is the main purpose of this trip. It is my first game trip. I have never taken vacation where getting laid has been so front and center. Previously, my vacations have been mainly about relaxing, unwinding, getting drunk, indulging. This time, my mentality feels different. Part of me is worried that having this intense goal-oriented mentality will hurt my game more than it helps. Whatever the case, I take solace in the fact that I will try my best. A lot is out of my control.

I also don’t want to get burned out too fast; I need to watch out for this. After a certain point in cold approaching, I notice diminishing returns. I am not perfect at knowing when this inflection point is reached, but I have developed a good sense for it over time. I basically need a balance. I can’t game all day. Fortunately, there are other things I want to accomplish on this trip besides the Swedish flag. These will supply the grease to the gaming machine that I will need to be.

I want to make good progress on my side projects, which fit into my longer term goal of having passive income sources. I haven’t had the time to work on these due to my busy day job and keeping my daygame muscles healthy. I also have at least a couple books that I want to get through. I packed my running shoes so I can run around the city because I think my mind is addicted to exercise. I still plan to sleep a lot and just be completely lazy in my hotel. I hope it has a pool.

With the above mindset, my goal is to have a productive, relaxing, and pussylicious vacation. My back story (mostly made up) when seducing a girl is going to be something along the following lines: I am here partly on business, partly on pleasure. I make apps and some of my best clients are based in Sweden. Figured it would be nice to meet them in person, since I live in NYC, and also learn about Swedish culture while I am here. I think this does a good job providing hooks for taking the conversation further: we can talk about apps, NYC, and/or Swedish culture.

I am curious to see what Swedish women are like. I have read mixed reviews and also that there is a deep feminist culture. Some people say the women have been overhyped by the media. I am overall pretty bullish; Stockholm is a big city and I will be living in the heart of it. My limited travel experience aside, I think centers of big cities will generally have enough hot women that the bottleneck will be my gaming abilities. Regarding the strong feminist movement, I always fallback to what Tom Torero preaches: “Don’t complain about a woman not being feminine enough. Instead, look at yourself and see how you can be more masculine.”

I will find out all these things soon enough.

[oceanpua]

Day 1

Landed early AM. Met an elderly Stockholm native on my train ride from the airport to central Stockholm who volunteered to tell me all the cool things to do in Stockholm. Unfortunately, I couldn’t game her as I am not into grannies. But it got my conversational juices flowing, which is hard when traveling solo as an introvert.

Checked in to my hotel; women here are gorgeous. During my entire day of walking around in central Stockholm, I’d say I saw about 15-20 HB 9s and 10s. I had a perpetual boner. I am also getting a lot of IOIs which is a good sign; granted some of them are from women whom I wouldn’t approach, but nonetheless, I definitely stand out with my brown skin, muscular built, and semi-thick beard. Like I suspected, my hotel is pretty centrally located. If I bring a visitor to my room after 9pm though, they will charge me 200 SEK extra for the night. Lame, but whatever.

Got my conversational juices flowing while hunting around for basic things and getting some fika: scissors, umbrella, electric adapter, wine, plastic wine glasses, etc… I probably asked for help from about 10 people during this hunt. I tried to make them cute shop workers. It is great that everyone can speak English. Once all the basics were procured, and I got some local currency, I fed myself, I took a nice 3 hr nap because I’ve been awake for 24+ hrs. Woke up around 3:30pm, freshened up, and hit the streets.

It is currently 11pm as I write this. I have done about 15 approaches, gotten 2 numbers (one was lame, one was a good conversation but she has a BF) and have gone on 1 i-date, which I was doing well in and I think she was DTF, but I royally fucked up at the end. I will comment on my general observations about daygame and then comment on the i-date because it deserves an explanation. While approaching, I got blown off completely a few times at the start; I think this was mainly my fault and me feeling nervous in a new city (and that coming across in my tentative approach) because I didn’t get blown out after.

Women are pretty receptive to compliments and they stick around, at least to be polite. Unlike NYC where your approach can be solid and you still get blown out. All the girls I approached have given me a ~2 minute time-window to game them. They say thank you and remain quiet in the beginning of the interaction. If they ask anything, they ask where I am from and when I say New York, they just say “ok”. Basically very low investment from these girls in the beginning. Nothing too out of the norm, though. I need to improve in getting them to hook in these 2 minutes. I think it is very doable.

The i-date was with a queen of feminists. She was extremely blunt and while she had a nice curvy voluptuous figure (my weakness), I felt like I was fighting a war when talking to her. She analyzed everything I said and tried to poke holes in my reasoning. I had to be very careful and politically correct which I am not used to. I usually just resort to speaking no-filter and backing it up with some bullshit confident-seeming remark if they question me. This wins over average intelligence girls. But I quickly realized I couldn’t do this with her. She got a beer, I got a whiskey. We sat outside in the cool breeze. I tried to steer the conversation with three main aims before testing kino:
1. Make her feel like I not only like her for her looks but also for her personality. I think this is especially important in Sweden with its feminist psyche.
2. False disqualify myself (i.e. We are doomed, We won’t get along, I feel like I am speaking to my future ex-wife) with a smirk to alleviate the “sucking up” in (1)
3. Verbal sexual escalation (talking about physical attributes, tattoos)

And lo and behold, she passed my first test for kino - leg grazing. I motioned my leg to touch hers and she didn’t retreat. Conversation was also taking a more deep rapport kind of turn because she started talking about feminism and how she strongly believes in it and how it effects her so deeply. I welcomed deep rapport at this stage, since sexuality had been established, her pupils were dilated and she was sharing stories on her own. But here is where I think I should’ve generally just remained quiet and let her invest with talk about feminist ideals even though I didn’t agree with them. Instead, like an idiot, I voiced my opinion and disagreed with her about how feminism effects sexual polarity (I said it does, she said it doesn’t). And she outright called my thinking to be flat out “stupid” and not in a joking way. In a way where she is defending her honor like a lion defends her cubs. I just shirked it off, definitely didn’t apologize, but was thinking inside that I fucked up, let my intellect lead me away from my primal goal of banging her. And I saw it coming; when making my argument, I remember consciously thinking… “dont fuck this up, choose your words very carefully here, she is very sensitive to this”. After that episode her body language completely changed. The air changed.

Towards the end of the date, when things were a lost cause for the most part, she mentioned the following things about me: I ask a lot of questions, I seem very analytical, it feels like I am judging her. My aim is to not let any woman feel that I am like that. In NYC, I don’t get that kind of feedback, and in such a blunt way. Maybe Swedish women may have a lower tolerance for that, and I will have to adapt accordingly. If I had to sum it up: on the topic of feminism, AGREE AGREE AGREE, and then continue to ACT in the “manly” way. It is okay and good to disagree on stupid things so I show I can hold my own, but on sensitive issues, no no no!

It is 11:45pm, I am gonna take a nap and head out for some gutter game. In a way, I am glad I had this i-date; it has loosened me up. Makes me think of the old days where getting blown out by girl was enough to loosen me up. Now getting blown out doesn’t effect me on bit, but an intense i-date like this is going to be etched in my memory for a while. Things can only go uphill from here.

[Chengiz88]

"I definitely stand out with my brown skin, muscular built, and semi-thick beard"

Erm hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there has been a huge influx of migrants into the Nordic lands. Have these women you are "gaming" offered you food/shelter....asked if you suffer from post traumatic stress from living in a warzone....asked how the boat ride across the Mediterranean was?

[Burn]

Very interesting thread! I have been daygaming a lot in Stockholm(~500-1k approaches).
Regarding the feminist, i think you were just unlucky, i have been on many I-dates and normal dates with girls from daygame and never got into a situation like that. Sure alot of the girls are feminist, but i would say they are pretty soft about it. Actually a few weeks ago me and a friend met up with three girls we knew from 2 years before(when we met them at a bar and i took one of them home, my friend took the other ) and two of them are ultra feminists and we got into a aggressive but "friendly" discussion about feminism and such, they called me "privileged white cis-man" and i was laughing a lot at them, still they went with us to my place for after party. But of course just stay away from that kind of topics.

There is a big shopping street called Drottninggatan, you could do a lot of approaches there but what is more interesting: If you follow that street towards Gamla Stan, and then walk around in Gamla Stan you can find solo travel girls, just thinking of that made 4 memories of instadates i've got from there with solo traveling girls, Spain, Russia, Australia and Russia again. 3 of them ended in multiple bars and hanging out at night, Im pretty certain i could have got all of them home, if i didnt pussy out
There are not a lot of girls there but its definetely worth checking out and also you should really walk around in Gamla Stan when in Stockholm, its really nice there.

At stureplan(the big mushroom) you will find alot of hot high end girls, start the day with the "easier" girls around T-centralen/Hamngatan/sergelvägen/drottninggatan and when you have done approaches and is in god mode you go to Stureplan and approach around there.

Enjoy Stockholm!

[kirdiesel]

Subscribed to see how you are doing.... Keep up the good work

[jabba]

Fuck that feminist. She probably had tattoos, piercings, living in Sodermalm with 10 cats, and working as journalist for a far left organization. Her dominance bullshit was mental foreplay for her.

Worked / lived there. Don't fall for this.

Be true to yourself, and pussy will find you.

Scandinavian feminists can smell mangina supplication and lube their strap ons. If she's not your type, then walk away. There are plenty of other opportunities if you're willing to make the investment.

[Guayacan]

Most hot girls there will identify as a feminist but you shouldn't worry about it. They're just against slut shaming and all that. Just don't get into a discussion because it's boring as fuck and not attractive.

The anti-feminism chicks here are mostly ugly white trash girls. The super feminazi chicks are ugly too with their unshaved legs, ugly hair etc.

[oceanpua]

I have written bits and pieces for each day, but felt it is not worth adding that noise to this thread. It is the end of my trip, and below I reflect more generally on the trip. Feel free to PM with with specific logistical questions in case you plan to daygame in Stockholm. The focus of the reflection is more inner-game, I think.

Stockholm Reflection

I had a relaxing vacation, but from a daygame standpoint, I did not meet my goal of getting the Swedish flag. It is what it is. If there is one thing I learned in the process of pushing myself towards meeting this goal, it is that daygaming women is a self-administered psychological test like no other. Perhaps this is why more experienced players preach that they learn so much about themselves and life in the pursuit of game. I never doubted this, but I am now personally starting to realize this more strongly after this trip.

Most things in my life which I am good at operate under a finite set of rules: computers, weight lifting, running, etc… Having finite rules allows for an easy to follow framework to get better at these kinds of things. Computer languages are basically a set of rules. Weight lifting is a set of exercises with a specific technique. In the pursuit of these activities, reality is bounded in some sense. Thus, achieving greatness boils down to setting goals, being disciplined, and putting in the hours. It is usually safe for one to expect this. I have subconsciously expected that I will achieve prowess in computer programming, gain muscle, and run faster and longer, and everything has panned out, fortunately. In the off chance that your computer crashes or you pull a muscle, you can forgive yourself. The probability of something unexpected happening in a world of finite rules is low.

I cannot treat game in the same way. Being successful in aforementioned pursuits has made me mentally strong, but that strength does not translate well for game. Perhaps this is why “successful” men can suck with women. I think the fundamental difference between game and the hobbies above is that game, ultimately, does NOT have a finite set of rules. There is far too much out of ones control, unwritten rules of Swedish culture, and much more. There are ways to make game get closer to the “finite set of rules” paradigm: night game where girls are more tipsy is closer to having a finite set of rules than daygame, in my opinion. Spam swiping on Tinder and similar apps and having good pics is another way to discretize game. But for my purposes, I focused on cold approach daygame and only that. Yes, I want to fuck a lot of women, but ultimately I want to train myself to be able to game a HB10 for years, and realistically, I don’t think I will meet her online or at a club.

Pure daygame is hard to box into a finite set of rules. As a result, one can set goals, be disciplined, and put in the hours, but one CANNOT safely expect success. And in a 6-day trip, one really cannot safely expect success. Probability of something unexpected happening and/or chips just not falling your way is pretty high. I am not trying to make an excuse when I say this; most of my instant dates failed because it was my fault. I say this because, if I subscribed to this mantra before my trip, I would be more psychologically in-tune with my sets throughout my trip. What do I mean by this? Simply put, going into this trip, I was extremely cocky that I will get the Swedish flag. I treated daygame like weight lifting - put in the time, be disciplined, and I will get the flag. When my instant dates didn’t materialize (I went on at least a dozen during this trip), I started to panic and force more approaches, got in my head more, and ultimately tried to control the situation more. The more I tried to control the seduction process, the quicker I lost; it is like trying to aggressively contain a slippery fish. And I wasn’t enjoying myself. The 6-day time limit did not help psychologically. Many of my dates were lost due to my escalating too quick (daygaming Swedish girls needs more comfort than daygaming NYC girls, I have realized).

Expecting high probability of success gradually made me increasingly needy and outcome-dependent as the trip progressed. But, I think worst of all, it left me unprepared for how to properly handle a situation when my expectation is not achieved. I am reflecting now, at the tail-end of my trip, but I didn’t have the fortitude to self-correct more fundamentally in the middle of my trip. I was as stubborn as a mule.

In NYC, I have learned to not harbor such expectations. Perhaps it is because I feel I have no time constraints or perhaps because daygame is an important but not primary part of my overall time allocation or perhaps both. When I don’t have any expectations of how a seduction is going to unfold, something magical happens: I stop caring and I behave closer to my nature — I talk less, I drift off sometimes, I imagine fucking the girl if I am feeling really horny, and I want to learn about her quirks, just to satiate my general curiosity. I have not fully internalized seduction, so I still do think about daygame mechanics and use some conversational lines consistently. But in general, daygaming without expectations drains my energy less, makes me enjoy the process more, and also sometimes leads to better outcomes.

When I haven’t succeeded in getting a notch in several weeks despite taking action, I need to remind myself to not abandon this mindset, and not get too hung up. It is like poker - a seasoned pro will not get emotional if chips don’t fall his/her way for an extended period of time. Whenever I have embodied Bruce Lee’s mantra “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”, I have felt better not only about daygame but also about life. Taking action falls into “essential”, but harboring expectations with women is “unessential”. The circumstances and the whirlwind of the moment, like this short trip, makes me forget this.

If I could rewind to the start of my trip (not that I would, because this takeaway is something I will treasure for all my future trips), I would not frame my daygame goal as “getting the Swedish flag”. I would instead frame it as “spend most of my time seducing beautiful Swedish girls”. I find daygame to be fun not just for the sex, but for the chase and the spontaneity of it all, a high which I don’t get from Tinder or a fast night game pull. But, I think this aspect of daygame took a back seat in favor of “getting the Swedish flag”, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my interactions came off as too goal-oriented for this reason. If anyone can smell this, it is the female species.

Goals are still important to have, and I will continue to set them, but how much I should psychologically invest in expecting their achievement depends a lot on the goal. I find the Swedes extremely attractive; they have great asses and voluptuous bodies for the most part and I am a big ass man and I like blondes. I am far from giving up on Sweden. Stockholm, I will be back.

[kirdiesel]

Congrats man on trying and having a positive attitude besides losing.

I am pretty much a veteran at nightgame and I have done daygame and I find it takes even bigger balls to succeed at daygame than at nightgame. So respect again for giving it a run.

[jabba]

I recently discovered Harald Baldr - Norwegian. He has insightful commentary, I and enjoyed a majority of his content:
http://haraldbaldr.com/6-reasons-you-mus...ish-girls/

I owe Swedish girls a tremendous amount of gratitude for teaching me on how to pick up girls and close deals. It helped me evolve as a man and built confidence in my personal and professional life. I would have had a totally different life and view of the world if I hadn't attained these skills in my 20's.

In the mid-90's, I was working in Copenhagen but couldn't connect with the local girls for some reason. When I took a roadtrip to Stockholm during the summer, It was very easy for me to connect with locals. Guy friends took me to the top nightclubs, and I tasted the glamourous rock & roll lifestyle for the first time. Stockholm was more interesting than NYC, because people really dressed up and took style very seriously. Btw, the most attractive girls in NYC are international, not American (lived there and wasn't impressed).

As I met girls, I noticed there was a certain script which had a higher probabilty in concluding in sex. It was like before I said my first words, I knew the general flight path to her pussy. She actually wants you to be successful. I'm a very social guy, so I can tap into a variety of topics to navigate the momentum into my candy store. After finally learning the sacred script, I applied this to all of my travels, and it helped me on several occasions. It makes traveling more interesting and enjoyable. The significance of this discovery is most women welcome a sincere dosage of charm to make their lives more enriching, like a healthy smoothie. She can share this encounter (with / without sex) during girlfriend chat time and have a nice ego boost.

I've had success / failure in many cities, and I've learned the outcome isn't always in my control. I know who I am and the quality of girls I can close. I can make certain tweaks to my social game, however I can't force girls to embrace me. That mutual spark is either there or not. Tom Torero, Krauser and Steve Jabba discusses this topic on YouTube. Either way, there are so many places to see and share the enjoyment of meeting girls all over the world. The world be more peaceful if we could all socialize better. Life is good.

Tack sa mycket Svenska tjers!