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Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit
#1

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/c..._becoming/

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I am 37/M, we’ve been married for 12 years. My wife “Jason” transitioned FtM about three years ago. Jason is comfortable with calling him my “wife” and he has not undergone any genital reassignment surgery but has been taking testosterone for a little over three years now. We have two children, 13/M and 10/F.
Jason came out to me as transgender three years ago telling me right off of the bat that I could stay and respect his decision or leave but the decision to transition was non-negotiable. Through a little discussion, I informed him that I would accept the physical changes - the clothes, the hairstyles, the testosterone but would not feel comfortable with genital reassignment surgery because I still wanted to be intimate with my wife. Jason has begrudgingly accepted this. Our sex life is minimal at best, but alas this isn’t a /r/deadbedrooms post.
Initially everything was going great. I loved seeing the joy return to Jason that I haven’t seen since we were teenagers. I supported him while his wardrobe changed, he learned how to shave his face, and began trying to figure out the best male hairstyle to don. However, Jason has become increasingly more frustrating to be around and has made his trans-dom into what appears to be the only facet of his personality.
It’s all Jason talks about anymore. Literally no conversation can be had that isn’t circling back to something regarding gender or sex. He feels personally slighted at all times if someone does not get his gender right (he does not exactly “pass” all the time). His voice is still higher pitched. Jason meets a new person and after exchanging handshakes the first question out of his mouth is “What pronouns do you prefer we use?” no matter who it is - even when he met my new boss at a company Christmas party. Jason has “called out” random strangers in line at the grocery store for talking about Caitlyn Jenner “inappropriately.” He created a huge scene at a restaurant when he went to the men’s restroom when he perceived one of the other men in there making a comment about him. He regularly wears shirts with “Fuck the CIS-tem” no matter where we’re going. His facebook is nothing but trans, trans, trans. He has forbidden us from association with certain long time friends because he has deemed them to be “TERFs.” It’s to the point where I am humiliated to bring him around anyone or go out in public with him.
He has also become increasingly more political in other ways - his feminism is so extreme that he says things like “If you’re not pro-fat, you can’t be a feminist, you’re a misogynist.” If you question him and try to have a respectful conversation and you happen to disagree - you’re transphobic, homophobic, racist, misogynist, etc. If there’s an opportunity for an argument, he’ll jump on it. It’s exhausting to be around him. He declares disagreements a “violence” against him, posts dramatic posts on Facebook about how his people are getting murdered left and right and he’s scared to leave his home. Perhaps I am jaded, but I look at things that are happening elsewhere in the world and just can’t help myself from thinking less of my wife for acting like we live in a warzone.
Worse enough, I feel like he’s pressuring and trying to persuade our children into living the same or similar lifestyle that he’s chosen. Out of nowhere, our daughter has declared she is pansexual and our son has declared he is gay. Jason is encouraging our son to date a girl in his class to use as a “beard” to conceal his gayness even though it will clearly hurt her feelings. Jason’s rationale is that it’s fine if our son hurts her because “they’re in middle school and she’ll get over it, [son]’s safety is more important than a cis girl’s feelings.”
I miss the wife I married 12 years ago who was funny, articulate, charming and incredibly sharp. She is highly educated and I miss the woman who I could joke around with, have good spirited debates and discuss issues with calmly without it resorting to something related to gender/sex (even when it has nothing to do with it!). I was willing to accept the transition, I feel like I have done a very good job respecting the use of male pronouns and the name he chose for himself, and I have done everything I can to be supportive. However, even if I slip up I am chastised so heavily because he takes it as a personal attack against himself. I have tried to approach conversations with him but it often leaves me feeling shut down because I am “transphobic.”
So Reddit, is this a marriage that can be saved? Am I being insensitive? Has anyone else gone through a similar situation that they can share some perspective on? Are there support groups out there for spouses of transgender people?
TLDR - my wife has made his trans identity the forefront of his existence. He embarrasses me in public and is uncomfortable to be around. I don't know if I am being inconsiderate.

Since Reddit is a major SJW crawl hole the topic was locked, there's the possibility of it being a troll job but the way the OP described of his life and former wife are very accurate descriptions of the progressist zealot behavior

Goes to shows how the gay memeplex is nothing more than toxic ideas and habits meant to corrupt the weaker minds like women and teenagers and destroy the family and society from within

the LGBT indoctrinated always prey on the meek and gentle, if this guy had more balls he would have recorded on video and audio all the craziness of his "wife" and how it threatened the well being of their kids

But now with the sudden increase of trans acceptante propaganda being shoved down our throats, i doubt he would have any sucess on a divorce where he keeps guard of the children.
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#2

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Elaborate troll job.

Assuming this isn't made up, the guy had the chance to walk and maybe even get full custody. He chose the cuck path instead.

His wife has bigger balls than he ever did.

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#3

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

FtM transgender is definite fake. Those don't exist despite the massive amount of privilege males enjoy.
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#4

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Quote: (09-22-2015 01:51 PM)polar Wrote:  

Elaborate troll job.

Assuming this isn't made up, the guy had the chance to walk and maybe even get full custody. He chose the cuck path instead.

His wife has bigger balls than he ever did.
He didn't choose the cuck path
The cuck path chose him

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Quote:Quote:
if it happened to you it’s your fault, I got no sympathy and I don’t believe your version of events.
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#5

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Quote: (09-22-2015 02:27 PM)EuphoricWizard Wrote:  

FtM transgender is definite fake. Those don't exist despite the massive amount of privilege males enjoy.

Not sure if you're serious but they definitely exist. I know one.

And to the OP, obvious troll is obvious, but still funny.
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#6

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

I had a good laugh reading this.

If it's legit it definitely pissed off the right people, considering all the aspersions it cast on the mentally ill's ability to parent and rear children (my daughter is pansexual, my son came out as gay, they're 13 and 10 respectively). Hilarious.
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#7

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

I have met 3 FtMs, I knew it the first time I saw them. I mean they were short, but their soft jaws gave them away. I think one thing that always bothered me was their insistence on pronouns and being offended by people who use the wrong ones. I guess I feel if you have a good sense of self you wouldn't be bothered. Then again it is the crux of the matter. The trans crowd doesn't have a good sense of self
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#8

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

From reading the replies the op made in the thread i think this is not fake, Reddit is indeed filled with the guys who would nonchalantly accept their wife's turning into high T men "if it would make her happy"

Only a very committed troll or a miserable and sad beta male would have the sincere courage to write these weird ass statements

https://www.reddit.com/user/Throwaway26683

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When Jason said that our son should date a girl for safety, it spawned a really huge fight between the two of us. He then proceeded, after storming out of the house, to post on Facebook to "poll" his friends to see if it was a good idea for our son to date a girl "for safety." It alarmed me to see a dozen people chime in and agree with him. The one or two people that disagreed got shouted down, and one woman even got blocked.
I try so hard not to think of Jason as my husband. Outside of this post I haven't said "wife" so many times in months. I just keep hoping that somehow the person, however they identify, would come back. That things would level out. Maybe it's the T he's on and once things normalize, the person I fell in love with would come back. I could deal with masculinity. Jason was always built a little more... boorishly(??) than the average woman but it's this incredibly shift in personality that I just cannot handle anymore.
Thank god for throwaways because I've never uttered any of these words in any capacity.

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It's just so hard because I am not political. I'm just not. I care, but I just feel so overwhelmed with information out there that it feels so hard to ever know the truth. I never feel adequately prepared to discuss anything at length because I often don't feel like I know what I'm talking about. I'm more introverted and shy than anything. I try to actively participate and support Jason beyond not putting up a fight for things that make him feel comfortable, but I am just absolutely out of my element.

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Jason has always been a very passionate person and it was initially what drew me to him when we first met. But the passions were very spread out and it didn't feel like there was... a bull, or something, storming around all the time. And back in the day Jason didn't get offended if you disagreed or just didn't actively have interest in whatever was important to him.
But thank you for your kind words. I really am trying here and I need to know if I'm in the wrong because I am prepared to kick myself into gear if I am unreasonable.

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I really, really sincerely hope that Jason isn't acting out on purpose to push me away. But perhaps I am biased and am just hoping for the best. At the very least, Jason is very quickly becoming just as outwardly hostile to other people in our life and is isolating himself with people who are just as firm in their beliefs as he is. Especially with his online friends.

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It's hard because I love my kids. My kids love Jason. We're a good family and I would hate to see it fall apart and ruin my kids' lives and sense of stability. I mean... we don't even really "fight" in the traditional sense, he just really really annoys me now and I feel like I get rubbed the wrong way when I'm called "transphobic" over the smallest of things.
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#9

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

If there's any truth in this story at all, then it's clearly obvious his wife felt the need to become the man of the house, because he clearly isn't.
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#10

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

You can put on a dress, chop off your dick, change your name and shoot yourself with as many hormones as you want. But ....There is no such thing as transgender. It's all cosmetic.

Until they get to the point of being able to resequence a person's DNA(if then [Image: dodgy.gif]) you are what your DNA says you are.

A transgender woman is not equal to a real woman. A transgender man is not equal to a real man. These people all have mental disorders.

It's all fucking bullshit. Do yourself and the world a favor and call out this bullshit when you see it.

Team Nachos
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#11

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

No fucking way.

This is satire and it was hilarious.

10/10 WETA (Would enjoy troll again)
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#12

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

I think it's a troll. Since I've been on it for the past few days, I noticed they're very gullible to lefty-signal posting.

Some guy made what amounted to a "bend over for immigrants or you're a racist" post in detailed manor and most took him seriously
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#13

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

If ever there was a guy who needed to take the proverbial red pill....

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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#14

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Even if it's not a troll piece, it's a mental disorder.

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#15

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Quote: (09-22-2015 08:16 PM)Snowplow Wrote:  

Even if it's not a troll piece, it's a mental disorder.


In the case of the tranny, obviously yes. I am also inclined to think That the OP must have some kind of mental issues as well. How else could a man be so weak? He let his "wife" become a tranny, and his kids have gone gay on him. If that were me, I'd be dead in the cold, cold ground LONG before I make a post online referring to my wife as "him".



Reddit being what it is, I am not surprised at this level of depravity.

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
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#16

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Jesus christ that forum is tragic. So many men and women so fucking blind, or like the 3rd one, hilarious.

Dude whose fiancee cheated on him during her bachelorette party and he doesn't want to believe:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/c...e_getting/

21 year old girl realizing she's a plate
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/c...nd_29m_of/

The guy who doesn't know he's a natural
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/c...me_that_i/
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#17

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

It reeks of of someone sitting in a room and thinking "what complete bollocks can I type up and post on the internet to rustle some jimmies today?"

"Pain is certain, suffering is optional" - Buddah
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#18

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

I can just picture hundreds of dudes from 4chan laughing their asses off from their parents basement this elaborate story they concoted while redditors are arguing and stepping on eggshells avoiding being banned

[Image: 3z04f.gif]
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#19

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

Let's move beyond the fact that this guy is a beta loser, he has kids... Even if he is a wimp, does he not at least see that having this unstable behavior around children is not right, and that he should separate his children and himself away from this clearly transgender person?

On a side note, I always had a feeling that when women transition into men it's a far more brutal process for them due to the realization that men are far more direct and open in many cases then women are. So it's not hard to see this transgender person freaking out about sexism and confusion since men usually tell it like it is. Women on the other hand would tell some hook nosed big chested ape that they're so cute despite the five o clock shadow. This is just an example of a transgender male realizing what it is to be male and coping in the only way possible - with her feminine socialization.

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#20

Man whose wife changed to transgender male asks for help on Reddit

I lost all respect for the guy from when he calls his wife Jason.
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