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Judging, red flags and Buddhism
#26

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-26-2015 02:05 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Quote: (08-24-2015 11:32 AM)monster Wrote:  

Quote: (08-24-2015 09:54 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Quote: (08-24-2015 08:51 AM)monster Wrote:  

Quote: (08-24-2015 01:24 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Be very very Judging and discriminating. Always. Against yourself and against others. Have high standards for yourself and others. This is the correct basis of spiritual and physical well being.


The "judge not lest be judged yourself" sentiment in christianity, buddhism and any other religion is not a classical argument from these religions It is the watered down parasite argument that now sticks to all religions do to all of them bowing down to the current ruling paradigm of democracy and equality.

^^^ Perfect example when you get carried away with judging everything. You become a self-righteous self-proclaimed spiritual guru who knows all the answers and sees the world as black and white.

What's next? Are you going to accuse me of "mansplaining"?

...

One thing that I have learned is that people like you who deny any certain knowledge and insist that anything is beyond judgement have a secret agenda. You have certain sins you wish to hide and therefore attack those who try to shed any light.

Wait, I was taking your own advice and passed a judgement and then you take extreme offense and call me a sinner and other vitriol?

See? Look how unhappy and upset you are now. Maybe your advice about passing judgement isn't so sound after all.

You assume too much about me.

You assumed I see world in black an white, you assumed I know answers to all questions and now you assume your "judgement" makes me unhappy and upset.

The truth is I am a male. A masculine male. That means I can enjoy an intellectual discussion without getting upset about the opinions that the other party pronounces. I don't take political and philosophical things personally. If you were a man you would understand. Sadly, you are a woman or at least think like a woman - therefore in your opinion truth is not important and only emotional state is important. You would gladly sacraface any truthful real talk for a PC phrases that are stripped of any meaning and therefore cannot hurt the emotional state of anyone.

We are too different. I can understand you, but you can never understand me because you are an inferior being whose emotions rule over judgement.

You are delusional.

You exclaim "Be judgemental of everyone! The world is full of sinners!" I use your advice on you and call you self-righteous. You cannot take anyone being judgemental of you although you love to be judgemental of everyone else so you call me 1) a sinner and then 2) a woman and 3) inferior. You do this because you say you're a "masculine man" so that gives you the right.

So you espouse masculine principles of using right-brain logic and rationality yet your only argument is name-calling. Who's the bitch now?
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#27

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

[Image: facepalm.png]

If only you knew how bad things really are.
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#28

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-27-2015 01:10 PM)monster Wrote:  

You are delusional.

Strong words for a petty argument.

Quote: (08-27-2015 01:10 PM)monster Wrote:  

You cannot take anyone being judgemental of you

I feel taking it pretty well, no fucks given.

Quote: (08-27-2015 01:10 PM)monster Wrote:  

so that gives you the right

We all share the same right to free speach, altrough feminists are attacking that right. You sound even more like a woman by sugessting that right to free speech must somehow "be given" and that it is not there already by constitution and laws.

Quote: (08-27-2015 01:10 PM)monster Wrote:  

So you espouse masculine principles of using right-brain logic and rationality yet your only argument is name-calling. Who's the bitch now?

Like any common woman you cannot distinguish between rational and emotional because it is all a single big mess there in your head. Everything is emotianal and triggering to you. Then you extrapolate based on yourself that I also must be emotionally triggered by your insults. But this ain't so.
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#29

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

I disagree that being very judging and discriminating is the essence of spirituality. That is a product of the mind/ego. To me it seems the essence of true spirituality is merely being. Without thought and judgement.

If only you knew how bad things really are.
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#30

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-28-2015 05:16 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Like any common woman you cannot distinguish between rational and emotional because it is all a single big mess there in your head. Everything is emotianal and triggering to you. Then you extrapolate based on yourself that I also must be emotionally triggered by your insults. But this ain't so.

Sure you weren't triggered by my insults. You call everyone a "sinner" and a "feeble- minded woman." You have thin skin, admit it and you can't take your own medicine.

Go back to playing your dungeons and dragons games in your basement dork.
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#31

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-28-2015 05:54 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I disagree that being very judging and discriminating is the essence of spirituality. That is a product of the mind/ego. To me it seems the essence of true spirituality is merely being. Without thought and judgement.

Merely "being" is the essence of a rock. It's the essence of inanimate things who flow passively down the stream. Do the mass culture consumers who have passively absorbed western culture seem spiritual to you?

The nature of spiritual life is "becoming". You make effort to become a better person. What it means to become a better person can be different for different spiritual systems. To became and not merely be you must have values that show you what is worse what is the same and what is better. You must advance to that which is better and distance from that which is worse. This cannot be done without evaluating things, this cannot be done without judgement.
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#32

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-28-2015 09:42 AM)monster Wrote:  

Quote: (08-28-2015 05:16 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Like any common woman you cannot distinguish between rational and emotional because it is all a single big mess there in your head. Everything is emotianal and triggering to you. Then you extrapolate based on yourself that I also must be emotionally triggered by your insults. But this ain't so.

Sure you weren't triggered by my insults. You call everyone a "sinner" and a "feeble- minded woman." You have thin skin, admit it and you can't take your own medicine.

Go back to playing your dungeons and dragons games in your basement dork.

I don't call everyone a sinner and a feeble minded woman. I call you a sinner and a feeble minded woman. But your selfish feminine mind is unable to distinguish between your hurt feelings and others. In your perspective - if you are offended then everyone else must be too.

You have already called me a bitch and now a dork, were I thin skinned, I would have reported you to forum administration already. But I won't because I am the opposite of that and the only emotion your insults can milk out of me is mild amusement. I wonder what swear word will be the gravitational center of your next post.

I haven't ever played dungeons and dragons so you just pulled it out of your ass. Also insulting me that way is another clue that you are a woman, as women despise introvert men who play table top games.

I think our banter, as amusing as it is to me, starts to annoy other forum members. If you iwsh to call me another bad name - send me a PM.
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#33

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-23-2015 01:18 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

That said, I recently went through an experience with a chick who had tons of the typical redflags that the manosphere warns about but I chose to ignore these judgments in my mind and gave her a chance thinking that she could be an exception because of her other positive qualities. Turns out that I got burned and the judgements I initially had (from the red flags) were correct. Had I listened to my gut and the thoughts in my head from the beginning, I would not be in the situation I am now.

The Last Psychiatrist is my favorite blog author, and he penned a two-part essay What Goes Wrong In A Psychiatrist's Family? The commenters in the second part connected his thesis to the peace movement, New Age movements, and modern interpretations of Buddhism.

Part one is here.

Here's me teasing the beginning to make you click the link. [Image: angel.gif]

Quote:Quote:

So maybe I am generalizing a bit, but I'm trying to get at something that isn't easily explained by science: why do so many psychiatrist families go bad in the same way?

In my experience (see, there's my disclaimer) psychiatrist-parents go wrong in a very specific way. They judge behavior, not the person. It sounds like a good thing, I know. For kids, it's a disaster.

Part two is here.

-----------------------

If you're still reluctant to read those articles, then I'll make a (hopefully!) spookily accurate prediction about the bold-printed remarks in your original post: When you say you "gave her a chance", you mean that you continually repressed your unease at all of her negative behaviors, until you either exploded in rage at her OR until she did something so terrible that you meekly decided not to see her again.

I hope those articles are helpful. [Image: smile.gif]
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#34

Judging, red flags and Buddhism

Quote: (08-24-2015 04:58 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

If I'm sitting at a coffee shop or at the gym or whatever, I'll often see someone and automatically think: "this guy seems like a fucking loser" or "this girl looks like a slut who gets pumped and dumped." These judgements obviously are derived from cues about the person which automatically pop up in my head and which I have no control over. One would say that these are unhealthy but at the same time, it's the same mechanism of the brain which is used on making judgments on a potential romantic interest as you're screening her for redflags.

No, they're NOT the same mechanism of the brain. [Image: smile.gif]

They're completely different, because it's one thing to judge someone's character from a long distance just by looking at them AND another thing to spend some time talking to them (or dating them) to derive insights into their character.

In the first mechanism, you're looking at body image cues, fashion, and muscularity - (and, sometimes, analyzing their tone of voice if you can hear them talking to someone else). This first mechanism is very accurate over a large sample size of people, but suffers from greatest inaccuracy whenever you're looking at just one person. (This happens for the same reason that scientific studies involving only one person cannot be used to generalize about a much larger group of people.)

Some would say that you can counteract this first mechanism by introspecting, particularly about your childhood and the subconscious images, associations, and beliefs that your parents, friends, and media injected into you. But I think this is stupid advice and you should do the opposite - (provided you're interested in defeating the first mechanism of judging people).

What's the opposite? Talk to these people!

-------------

I, personally, don't talk to strange men. But I will talk to strange girls, even ones that I'm not attracted to, just to practice making them smile.

And when they smile, they look better. Not good enough to sleep with, but better. Better enough for me to entertain the possibility that, with enough hard work and personal self-improvement, they could be women that another man would be proud to love.

Just this afternoon, I was talking to a cashier chick while buying cologne. I wasn't attracted to her at all, but she was telling her co-worker how a Man Who Comes Very Often asked one of the cashier chicks, "Why aren't you thin like all of the other girls?"

I asked whether I heard that right. Then I said, "I'm part of an internet community that develops those lines, and I think it's excellent. I'll have to use that myself some day."

Then I said, "I'm trying to come up with a line for you, but my brain is working a bit slow."

Thirty seconds later, I smirk and say, "I think I've got one."

She immediately says, "I want to hear what you have to say!" - excited, genuinely curious, and maybe a bit nervous.

I say, "I really like the color of your lipstick, even though your lips look like they're expanding right here." - (pointing to my own mouth, at the corresponding spot where a small freckle exists, right up against her lips).

She leans forward, throws her head towards the ceiling, and immediately laughs with open-mouth. I smirk and say, "There you go." - and leave.

-------------------

My point in all of this is that I have the power, through my words and facial expressions, to turn negative impressions of any chick into more positive ones. I can use this power for good or for ill. And having this power neither obligates me to use it, nor obligates me to spend time with any woman who responds positively to me. But it does beg the question, "Why would I ever use this power to ruin my day indulging in the negative impressions I have of others?" (If I don't like someone, why can't I just leave-with-dignity and spend my mental energy on something I like doing?)
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