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Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course
#1

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Hey guys, thought i might make my contribution here by giving a little crash course in wines. This thread prompted get me thinking and I reckon every guy could use a bit on info to DHV in with women.

My background - I work down under in an advisory role in relation to wine. Not quite a sommelier, but I know enough to roughly gauge people's tastes. Once you've spoken to hundreds, even thousands of people over the phones about wine, you learn quick. And here is the great advantage - probably less than 5% are really, truly picky about their wines, so most people aren't likely to fault you on your knowledge.

You don't have to been an expert - just know more than the other guy.

Another note - since i work in Australia, a lot of my info may be heavily influenced by Australian wines. I won't have as much in-depth info about California Pinots and whatnot, but I hope the following will give you a good idea regardless.

Let's get started.

---

I'll focus on 3 main points:

  1. Body
  2. Varietals
  3. Vintage
BODY

Different varietals will have different characteristics, the most obvious being whether it is red or white, but also there will be impacts on flavor. Vintage - an indication of the age of a wine - will also factor into wine selection.

I'm going to give you guys two lists and sort them in order of "body". This is a difficult word to explain, but it brings together the characteristics of flavour, texture, aroma and round off the entire wine experience. People can describe a Cabernet Sauvignon as "big bodied", compared to a Pinot Noir which may be "light-bodied"

To give a simple example, think of a block of dark chocolate, compared to a ripe strawberry.

Dark Chocolate - Earthy, rough texture but melts in the mouth and clings to the palate thickly.
Strawberry - Lifted fruit aroma, bursting with moisture, runs down the palate smoothly.

I also like to use the following scale and try to place a wine on it.

Savoury--------------Fruity

VARIETALS

OK, let's get down to the nitty gritty

WHITE VARIETALS
Chardonnay
Riesling
Semillon
Sauvignon Blanc

The above probably accounts for 80%~ of the wines i have discussed with clients. This is by no means cut-and-dry, but is a good guide. So the best way to look at the list is like this: If you pick a Sauvignon Blanc from the shelf, it will more likely than not be more fruit driven and crisp than a Chardonnay.

Chardonnay [Shar-don-nae] is an interesting varietal because winemakers like to do so much stuff to it, the most pronounced being using oak barrels. This imparts a serious woody aroma that hits you over the head. Again, not cut-and-dry, but that's the general guide. Unless it says so otherwise on the bottle, expect oak in your chardonnay. Different people will have different tastes, so your choice what you want.

Riesling [Reez-ling] is one of my faves because it can change character over time (will be discussed in VINTAGE). A young riesling will be fresh, crisp and have a bit of acid that will cling to the side of your mouth. Aged rieslings will mellow out and lose that acid, and might pick up more savoury characteristics. My favourite is the mile kerosene aroma - you read that right. Personally I light to do zippo tricks and play with fire, which may explain why i like this one. Some people might be weirded out, but again, different strokes for different folks.

Semillon [Semi-lyon] isn't exactly a common variety by itself, i find, but it's starting to get some attention. Vintners like to blend it with Sauvignon Blanc to impart lemony characteristics to the wine. There are also desert wines made with botrytised semillon - semillon grapes infected with a fungus that dries them out and increases sugar content. If you saw what the fungus looked like you might lose your appetite, but as a sweet desert wine these are awesome. Grab a bottle, a block of smelly cheese and invite your girl over to snack on together. We call this "sticky and stinky". Go ahead, make all the sexual innuendos you like [Image: blush.gif]

Sauvignon Blanc [Sov-in-yon-blan] - Last but not least. As long as they have a somewhat discerning palate, younger girls will choose this over any other of the previous varietals. Good Sauv Blanc wines are fresh, fruity and crisp. Grab a bottle with a girl and make it a game - see what fruits you can taste smell. Pineapple, mango, lemon, lychee, longan, passionfruit... these are not uncommon characteristics in Sauvignon Blanc

RED VARIETALS

Cabernet Sauvignon
Shiraz/Syrah
Merlot
Pinot Noir

Again, the above account for the vast majority of red varietals i discuss with clients. And again, while the list is sorted in terms of body, take this only as a guideline, not an unbreakable rule.

In contrast to white wines, with red wines the use of oak, whether it be barrels or woodchips, is the norm to impart more savoury characteristics.

Cabernet Sauvignon [Cab-uh-nae-soe-vin-yon] is a classic varietal and you can rely on it to be a big-bodied red. Pour some into a glass, hold it up to the light - see how little light goes through, but also how radiant the rim is. Expect lots of dark berries like cassis and cherry. Depending on oak, sometimes chocolate and cigar box aren't unusual.

Shiraz/Syrah [Shuh-razz/suh-rah] - The reason why i have provided two names if because i'm aware it's known most commonly as Shiraz in Australia, and Syrah around the rest of the world. You can probably research why this is the case yourselves, but right now just be content to know they're the same varietal.

Shiraz is just a step down in terms of body compared to Cab Sauv, but still holds a lot of power. Vintners usually choose to use less oak with Shiraz, but i find that due to where it's grown, it takes on more spicy, peppery characteristics. Grab a bottle with a girl, order Thai or cook a steak at home, or just drink it by itself - good shiraz is like a meal in a glass.

Merlot [Mer-low] - I'll say it right here and now, this isn't my most loved varietal. I like my red wines strong and up front. Compared to the Alpha male that is a Cab Sauv, Merlot feels like a nerdy beta, however they still hold their charms. If you are still developing your palate, or want something to go with food that won't interfere too much, Merlot is a good choice.

Pinot Noir [Pee-noe-nwar] - I'm only just starting to see the charms of good Pinot. I like to think of it as the Red version of Sauvignon Blanc - it's light-bodied and medium to light red berry aromas waft readily from the glass. If you want to have a wine beside you while making love, grab a Pinot Noir. Don't forget the candles.

VINTAGE

Vintage is just a fancy term for how long a wine has been in the bottle. Instead of saying "how old is that wine", saying "which vintage is that wine from" is more classy.

Not all wines age well, so be wary. Out of the whites i would be most comfortable recommending aged Chardonnay and Riesling, with Semillon depending on the winemaker. Give that old Sauv Blanc to a friend you don't like.

Reds - Cabernet Sauvignon and Shiraz are my recommendations. Of course there are great aged Pinot Noirs, with Burgundy reds being the prime example, but they're probably beyond the average budget.

So, now what? Some wines can age and other can't, that's all? Just drink it before its use-by date! Wait, wait, not so fast...

Knowing a wine's vintage will give you a clue as to what's inside the bottle. Try this experiment - buy two Cab Sauvs, one young and one aged. Pour a glass of each. Take a look, a sniff and a taste.

Young wines are more likely than not to have more fruit driven aromas and characteristics. In reds, the color is more deep and vibrant around the rims. In whites, you can expect clarity and brightness.

Aged wines are more likely than not to lose these fruit characteristics over time. I like to say they have "mellowed out". In reds, we say the colour has "dropped out" and has gained some clarity. Whites, on the other hand, can be expected to darken and take on a deeper shade of gold.

Bonus Section - GLASSWARE

Here's some friendly advice for you guys - for the love of all is holy, get some decent glassware. Don't pour that delicious wine into a fucking coffee mug and pass it around like juice around a campfire. You are giving up the opportunity to appreciate the the wine to its fullest.

A wine should be observed, swirled, sniffed, tasted, considered and contemplated upon before finally being swallowed. This isn't college anymore. Stop chugging that goon out of that cardboard box.

As a plus, decent glassware looks fucking awesome. I am not affiliated with the following link, so feel free to check it out.

Plumm Glassware

Cheers, gentlemen!

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#2

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Coincidentally, do you have any recommendations for brands of Rosé?
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#3

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (06-03-2012 06:52 AM)YoungGunner Wrote:  

Coincidentally, do you have any recommendations for brands of Rosé?

Not specifically. There are tons of Rosés, and they all have their good points.

Another thing - do you mean Rosé like I mean Rosé? I think most people have an unhealthy notion that all Rosé is just sweet pink wine. This is absolutely not the case

A thing to keep in mind is that Rosé can be made with any red varietal - the color is just an indication of how long the juice has been in contact with the skins. So there can be as many different Rosés as there are red varietals, and more - it's not uncommon to blend different Rosés together. I tried a Sangiovese/Shiraz Rosé blend and it was fucking awesome.

Don't be afraid to ask the guys at the wine shop, they're not just there to count the cash. Tell them what you're after and they'll be happy to help you out.

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#4

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (06-03-2012 07:03 AM)Tengen Wrote:  

Quote: (06-03-2012 06:52 AM)YoungGunner Wrote:  

Coincidentally, do you have any recommendations for brands of Rosé?


Another thing - do you mean Rosé like I mean Rosé? I think most people have an unhealthy notion that all Rosé is just sweet pink wine. This is absolutely not the case

Yeah, I hate when people have that misconception too. I just wanted something slightly sweet and slightly tart for when I bring girls over during the summer, so was wondering if you had any specific recommendations for wimminz
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#5

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Bandol is the only rose you'll ever need.

A wine primer is good for complete newbs, but once you get past the big boys listed above, it's time to delve into lesser known wine like Mourvedre, Nerello Mascalese, Frapatto, Sparkling Malvasia, shit like that. That's where the real wine shows up.

Right now the trends are going (and have been going for the past 15 years) toward lesser known varietals, biodynamic production, old vines, and single grape wines. At least amongst wine geeks. This shit has zero relevance to girls, but if you're into wine it can be a very interesting (albeit pricy) hobby. You'll find yourself getting excited by drinking Chasselas from vines that predate Phylloxera. If you have any idea what that means you're definitely a fucking wine geek.

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
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#6

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

http://www.klwines.com/detail.asp?sku=1048231

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
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#7

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (06-03-2012 06:52 AM)YoungGunner Wrote:  

Coincidentally, do you have any recommendations for brands of Rosé?

Marques de Caceres Rose Rioja is a nice rose that you can get for about $9 at Trader Joe's.
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#8

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Here's another test you guys can do if you have the money.

Go to your nearest wine shop and buy a $10, $20 and $30 of a single varietal. If you really want to splurge, get a $40 and a $50 bottle as well.

What I find is you will sense a dramatic improvement from $10 to $30, but from there it tapers out. The $50 will surely taste great, but is it worth the diminishing improvement/cost curve? That's something you have to decide for yourself.

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#9

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Fully agree. I've gone to tastings that brought out shit like 05 Marguax, we're talking $1000 bottles. While great, I didn't get more pleasure from that bottle than a $40 or $50 Barolo

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
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#10

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Just saw this Great Post Tengen , What's you take on Malbec, I tend to like Malbec, Syrah/Shiraz. last year I tried a Dolcetto de alba which I liked a lot.

While you are at it breakdown the Champagne as well.

Most Girls I have encountered like whites, very rarely agirl will like reds but I have converted one from liking whites to Red.

Here is what I do when I am hunting,Get a bottle of $ 10-15 Red and a bottle of white and have an excuse to come back to my apt..........

"You can not fake good kids" - Mike Pence
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#11

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (08-03-2012 08:16 AM)Lothario Wrote:  

Just saw this Great Post Tengen , What's you take on Malbec, I tend to like Malbec, Syrah/Shiraz. last year I tried a Dolcetto de alba which I liked a lot.

While you are at it breakdown the Champagne as well.

Most Girls I have encountered like whites, very rarely agirl will like reds but I have converted one from liking whites to Red.

Here is what I do when I am hunting,Get a bottle of $ 10-15 Red and a bottle of white and have an excuse to come back to my apt..........

An add on to this, which Lothario and I were discussing last night, is that thegmanifesto's "Champagne closer" is just as easily accomplished with a cheaper bottle of prosecco. 99% of girls can't tell the difference.

Shit, even though "Champagne" is a French protected geographical indication, you could probably tell them you've got a bottle of "Italian Champagne" and they'd be all over it.

Quote: (02-16-2014 01:05 PM)jariel Wrote:  
Since chicks have decided they have the right to throw their pussies around like Joe Montana, I have the right to be Jerry Rice.
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#12

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (08-03-2012 08:16 AM)Lothario Wrote:  

Just saw this Great Post Tengen , What's you take on Malbec, I tend to like Malbec, Syrah/Shiraz. last year I tried a Dolcetto de alba which I liked a lot.

I'm not too well acquainted with Mablec and Dolcetto, but the fact that you singled out these varieties tells me you enjoy wine with a bit of sweetness, texture or both.

You can always find blends of these varieties of you know where to look. For example, in Australia Shiraz/Malbec isn't unheard of and Brown Brother's has a Dolcetto & Lagrein.

Quote: (08-03-2012 08:16 AM)Lothario Wrote:  

While you are at it breakdown the Champagne as well.

As MSW has noted, this probably isn't important unless you're dealing with a hellish wine snob. If you really need, i'm sure Wikipedia has the info.

For example, my company started stocking a certain brand of Champagne and Sparkling Rose. I bought a bottle of each, including an Australian Sparkling, to take home and taste for myself. Needless to say, i got shit-faced, but in all honestly the level of quality was quite similar, even allowing for their differing characteristics. When you start taking price into account, i had a much higher estimation of Australian sparkling wines.

Quote: (08-03-2012 08:16 AM)Lothario Wrote:  

Most Girls I have encountered like whites, very rarely agirl will like reds but I have converted one from liking whites to Red.

Here is what I do when I am hunting,Get a bottle of $ 10-15 Red and a bottle of white and have an excuse to come back to my apt..........

Why not splurge and grab a bottle of each? Guaranteed drunk sex right there [Image: banana.gif]

Also, see my post above about trying wines at different price tiers to see what suits you.

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#13

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (08-03-2012 07:47 PM)Tengen Wrote:  

I'm not too well acquainted with Mablec and Dolcetto, but the fact that you singled out these varieties tells me you enjoy wine with a bit of sweetness, texture or both.
You can always find blends of these varieties of you know where to look. For example, in Australia Shiraz/Malbec isn't unheard of and Brown Brother's has a Dolcetto & Lagrein.

You got that right Tengen, I like Fruity, full body/texture red wines, I 'll say Doclcetta de alba was my favourite , I think the grapes are Nero de avolo. I can't get that in Mid-west USA.

For Sparkling white/champagne , I splurge $ 12 on Black Bubbly, Freiexenet cava, It is so money.

"You can not fake good kids" - Mike Pence
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#14

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Quote: (08-03-2012 10:28 PM)Lothario Wrote:  

I like Fruity, full body/texture red wines, I 'll say Doclcetta de alba was my favourite , I think the grapes are Nero de avolo. I can't get that in Mid-west USA.

What are some favorite reds, locally available, in the $10-$20 range? If any.

Since you're in the area, if you can, pick up a bottle of Burnet Ridge. It's made in Cincinnati by a winery that imports California grapes. Closer to $25 but often very good.

Another recommendation - this time for whites - some Meijer wine sections carry Gilia Garganego Pinot Grigio del Venezie. A very delicious pinot, and available for $8.99 per bottle last time I bought it.

Quote: (02-16-2014 01:05 PM)jariel Wrote:  
Since chicks have decided they have the right to throw their pussies around like Joe Montana, I have the right to be Jerry Rice.
Reply
#15

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Great post Tengen. Please do expand/update this information. (Pictures would be great!)

Any advice on how to best serve/drink wine? Ive found out that wine has a different effect on women than beer or other drinks. It get them high, but mellowed, and bolder.
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#16

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

Check out my glassware link in the first post. Large glasses are king.

My current pet peeve is restaurants who serve you wines in fucking tiny goblets and fill it to the brim. How are you supposed to swirl it? How are you supposed to comfortably bring it close and savour the aromas? You're just busy trying not to spill that cheap stuff all over your dress shirt.

As for serving from the bottle, i like to use the three second rule. From the moment the liquid touches the glass, keep pouring for one-two-three... then stop.

I don't like to leave the glass on the table while pouring, the wine will just bubble and froth. I prefer to hold the glass to the opening of the bottle, tilting it at a very low angle. This reduces splash and increases surface area of the wine for air contact and releasing aromas.

Holding the bottle - I like to think there's no right or wrong way to pour a bottle, but there are common ways and there are stylish ways. If i feel like showing off i use the "punt", a gap/dimple at the bottom of most wine bottles. Place your thumb inside this gap, and align the bottle with the rest of your fingers.

Here's a visual example:

[Image: 715.jpg]

Feel free to PM me for wine advice or other stuff
ROK Article: 5 Reasons To Have Wine On A Date
RVF Wine Thread
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#17

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

I'm by no mean french but after more than a year in France I can recall my experiences with several wine regions and which one I prefer. Obviously I will have a preference to the Rhône and Savoie area because I have strong ties there but by no mean I can say that a region is better than another they all have a dish to serve with or a cheese and a distinct taste.

In France normal the safest best is to stay with bottles labeled AOC, appelation d'origine contrôlée. If you ever visit France, never judge a region or a wine based on the vin de table (wine glasses served in Bistrots or restaurants), while fun to drink because its cheap its often the lowest quality of a certain cuvée.
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#18

Datasheet - Wine: Crash Course

If you're at a restaurant, wine bar, or buying a bottle at the store to take home, I have found the following to usually be a good ratio of quality to cost:

1. Argentinian Malbec- Medium-bodied red and therefore goes good with hearty beef dishes or sauces. Normally in the 10-20$ range at the store, so a restaurant markup would be around 100-150% into the 20-40$ range.

2. Chilean Carmenere- A lighter-bodied red wine. Goes good with chicken, pork, filet mignon, and other meats or sauces that are a little less hearty. Same prices as the Malbec, but sometimes more.

3. South African Pinotage- A medium bodied red similar to Shiraz/Syrah and some Pinot Noir, but with smokier, earthier flavors. Goes good with just about any meat dish. These used to be outstanding bargains, but once the hipsters discovered them the prices shot up. Nevertheless, you can still find some good deals.

4. Washington State varietals- I've found that almost any wine from Washington, red or white, will taste as good as the same variety from California, but for usually 1/3 to 1/2 the price.

5. Australian "big name" varietals- Australia's big wine companies like Rosemount, Wolf Blass, Jacob's Creek, Yellow Tail, D'Arenberg, De Bartoli, Lindeman's, Penfolds, Greg Norman, etc usually produce consistently excellent quality in their lower-end production. In other words, if you're looking for a cheap but good wine, the budget bottles from one of those companies rarely disappoint. For example, a bottle of Jacob's Creek Shiraz South Australia is usually around 8-10$ and I've never had a bad bottle.

5. Sicilian- Almost any wine from Sicily is excellent quality and usually about 30-40% the price of wines from elsewhere in Italy.

6. Gamay and Grenache- light-bodied reds, usually from France, that go well with vegetables and pastas. Since light-bodied reds don't seem to be as much in demand, prices on these are usually low. Budget Chianti from Tuscany and Pinot Noirs from New Zealand and Australia are also often good bargains in light red wines. Oregon is more famous for its Pinot Noirs but the best ones are usually in the 50$ and up range. One of the best wines I ever drank, the taste of which I can still remember 10 years later, was a 98$ bottle of Oregon Pinot Noir I drank at Emeril's restaurant in New Orleans.

I've noticed that wines from Italy's Piedmont, Spain, and the higher-end wines from France and California usually don't provide a very good value for their premium price. I'm talking the 30-100$ (store retail price) range. Some of them do, of course, but I think you really have to know your wine in order to keep from being ripped off. Unfortunately, I haven't found restaurant sommeliers to always be good at steering me towards a high-end wine that was worth the extra money.

If you order a higher-end red wine in a restaurant, I suggest asking the staff to decant it for you after you taste it. For home, buying a decanter might be a wise investment. You will notice a difference in how the wine tastes along with buying the right glasses as Tengen recommended above. It doesn't have to be a dedicated wine decanter. A glass juice jug with a wide opening can often work just fine.
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