[Sonsowey]

Disco_Volante is right.

Being in bars in general is a bad environment, people are so crazy these days, and so many people drink ridiculous amounts for no reason, catching them when they're drunk is practically asking for trouble.

You can meet sober girls during the day who, whatever their issues might be, aren't drunk late at night. No one would act that way in a cafe or something unless they were just completely mentally unhinged, and sober during the day it would be clear you were in the right (we hope).

[MrXY]

(08-23-2015 01:24 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

I second Kosko here.

Basically, bars can either be a great ally or the worst kind of white-knight.

Bars treat female patrons like they shit gold bricks. Hot girls bring rich guys. It's a basic rule of nightlife. So women get an extra pussy pass to say and do whatever they want, to a certain extent.

Look at this stupid shit:



Look at #5. This is taken from a bar called Milk and Honey in NYC, a hipster-ish craft cocktail place. But I've seen this used in other bars too. Basically saying guys can't approach women.

Dumbfucks. How do they think the human race has made it this far? No matter how good the drinks are, avoid places like this and lock down bars that have more level headed and red pill views toward the mating dance.

Also, we're taking your account at face value. This is all assuming you weren't actually miscalibrated or "being creepy".

An upscale hipster "speakeasy" type cocktail lounge in a city near me had list of rules very similar to this, including the no approaching rule.

This place was a fairly regular stop when I had dates with girls in the town, since it was in a little night life district and was convenient, and made excellent cocktails.

After going there for a while I noticed a pattern of the same type of patrons every time. There would be mixed groups of 4-6 made up of chubby mediocre girls and guys who were obviously their sexless orbiters, couples on "date nights" which were either some young guy trying to impress a 6.5 or older married couples usually on double dates, or groups of 2-4 plain girls who didn't have dates and were out to do something "exciting".

What you didn't see, in a city with a lot of beautiful girls owing to the large state university there, were groups of hot girls. Never once did I see a group of hot girls there, even though the bars down the street would be rife with them.

I figured out why-the hot girls didn't come to this bar because there was no chance they were going to be approached there. They went out hoping for the attention and drama of guys approaching them, and even the possibility they might have a random encounter with Chad Thundercock, the man of their dreams. This bar squelched that fun, and even the pleasure of rejecting guys and then making fun of them was denied to the girls. And the more exciting and alpha type guys who would approach knew they would just get hassled for it at this place, and took their business elsewhere, making the hot girls even less likely to want to go there.

So the rule, which was aimed at excluding "douchebag" type guys as undesirables, on the premise that girls say they don't like douchebags and we should always believe women, ended up excluding exactly the groups of people who make a bar a happening and profitable business.

The bar lasted two years and is now closed.

[WanderingSoul]

(08-23-2015 08:13 PM)DVY Wrote:  

I just had a weird situation pop up. A staff member accuse me of flashing them. WTF. I think its a huge misunderstanding. I had people w/me all night. I didn't even come close to doing this.

I have the place locked down, but its a wtf situation. I thought it was a prank.

Its a locked down spot of mine. I know all the owners, managers, busboys, waiters and everybody.

I still have lot of shit to deal with. I need to go in an apologize even if i didn't do it.

Staff> Regulars > Girls > Dinner Guests> Guys.

Thats the hierachy. Learn it and earn it.

Why the fuck would you apologize if you didn't do it?

If you apologize they will think you did it. Innocent people don't apologize.

Go in and tell them it's bullshit and you'd never be so classless as to flash your cock at people in a bar and that the staff member who said you did is out of their damn mind.

[DVY]

You got to understand the GM viewpoint too. Drunk regular just goes off the rails. But Im like wtf bro, I would never ever do that. He basically said, "look tonight is a shitshow. I can't deal w/it now. Lets figure this thing out next time."

Yea, it was in the back and the GM says they have a witness and video. I really want to see it, because I am 100% sure its not me.

It was a trans-sexual waitress, which might explain things. But she/he was really cool w/me before. Suddenly just flipped out on me. Maybe confused me w/somebody else.

I'll leave my options open.

I've never flashed anybody in my life. I thought they were straight pranking me. WTF.

[Merenguero]

(08-24-2015 01:14 AM)DVY Wrote:  

You got to understand the GM viewpoint too. Drunk regular just goes off the rails. But Im like wtf bro, I would never ever do that. He basically said, "look tonight is a shitshow. I can't deal w/it now. Lets figure this thing out next time."

Yea, it was in the back and the GM says they have a witness and video. I really want to see it, because I am 100% sure its not me.

It was a trans-sexual waitress, which might explain things. But she/he was really cool w/me before. Suddenly just flipped out on me. Maybe confused me w/somebody else.

I'll leave my options open.

I've never flashed anybody in my life. I thought they were straight pranking me. WTF.

Yeah, this is a bit off-topic, but flashing anybody ever is incredibly stupid. I don't think any possible good can come from it. It's a bit like sending sexual text messages, except worse. I was trying to think of times when girls flashed me. The only time I remember was years ago when I was in that Cluck U place on the University of Maryland campus. I was sitting in one of those seats that are right on the window and two quality girls walked up, flashed me, and walked away. I am often a bit consumed with my own thoughts and often don't respond quickly or correctly. I just sat there and kept eating. It was probably some sorority pledge thing or something.

As for O.P., I would just find another bar, assuming that he is in a town where there are multiple decent bars. For me, locking places down is really natural, but it seems as though most people don't get it at all. Dress well, tip well, and talk to everyone. That should take care of it.

[WanderingSoul]

(08-24-2015 01:14 AM)DVY Wrote:  

You got to understand the GM viewpoint too. Drunk regular just goes off the rails. But Im like wtf bro, I would never ever do that. He basically said, "look tonight is a shitshow. I can't deal w/it now. Lets figure this thing out next time."

Yea, it was in the back and the GM says they have a witness and video. I really want to see it, because I am 100% sure its not me.

It was a trans-sexual waitress, which might explain things. But she/he was really cool w/me before. Suddenly just flipped out on me. Maybe confused me w/somebody else.

I'll leave my options open.

I've never flashed anybody in my life. I thought they were straight pranking me. WTF.

If I were you I'd double down then. Don't go in and apologize.

If you really didn't do it, tell him so, and that if there's video evidence of you flashing someone you'll pay that employees salary for the whole damn year.

I'd go in strong and let him know the person is crazy. It's a tranny, so it's likely everyone there already knows how crazy it is and has had to deal with its bullshit in the past.

I'd tell the GM "Look man, I know you're busy, but I wont let Mizz. Tranny drag my name through the mud and make up lies about me. I've been coming here for months and never had a problem. It's one of my favorite spots to come and unwind, but your employee is slandering me and I won't take that.

If he/she says there is video evidence of me flashing anyone in your bar I'll pay her/his salary for the whole damn year and never step foot in this place again. But if there isn't, and I know damn well that there isn't, then I want an apology so everyone knows I didn't do the bullshit she/he said I did."

That's how I'd handle it at least. I think going in and apologizing and being on the defensive is a sure fire way to lose.

[Veloce]

(08-23-2015 09:42 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

(08-23-2015 01:24 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

I second Kosko here.

Basically, bars can either be a great ally or the worst kind of white-knight.

Bars treat female patrons like they shit gold bricks. Hot girls bring rich guys. It's a basic rule of nightlife. So women get an extra pussy pass to say and do whatever they want, to a certain extent.

Look at this stupid shit:



Look at #5. This is taken from a bar called Milk and Honey in NYC, a hipster-ish craft cocktail place. But I've seen this used in other bars too. Basically saying guys can't approach women.

Dumbfucks. How do they think the human race has made it this far? No matter how good the drinks are, avoid places like this and lock down bars that have more level headed and red pill views toward the mating dance.

Also, we're taking your account at face value. This is all assuming you weren't actually miscalibrated or "being creepy".

An upscale hipster "speakeasy" type cocktail lounge in a city near me had list of rules very similar to this, including the no approaching rule.

This place was a fairly regular stop when I had dates with girls in the town, since it was in a little night life district and was convenient, and made excellent cocktails.

After going there for a while I noticed a pattern of the same type of patrons every time. There would be mixed groups of 4-6 made up of chubby mediocre girls and guys who were obviously their sexless orbiters, couples on "date nights" which were either some young guy trying to impress a 6.5 or older married couples usually on double dates, or groups of 2-4 plain girls who didn't have dates and were out to do something "exciting".

What you didn't see, in a city with a lot of beautiful girls owing to the large state university there, were groups of hot girls. Never once did I see a group of hot girls there, even though the bars down the street would be rife with them.

I figured out why-the hot girls didn't come to this bar because there was no chance they were going to be approached there. They went out hoping for the attention and drama of guys approaching them, and even the possibility they might have a random encounter with Chad Thundercock, the man of their dreams. This bar squelched that fun, and even the pleasure of rejecting guys and then making fun of them was denied to the girls. And the more exciting and alpha type guys who would approach knew they would just get hassled for it at this place, and took their business elsewhere, making the hot girls even less likely to want to go there.

So the rule, which was aimed at excluding "douchebag" type guys as undesirables, on the premise that girls say they don't like douchebags and we should always believe women, ended up excluding exactly the groups of people who make a bar a happening and profitable business.

The bar lasted two years and is now closed.

Man you hit the nail on the head here.

I was really into the whole craft cocktail thing when it first started. Again, lots of these places were being ran by former coworkers and friends of mine. I usually got hooked up. But I noticed the same thing. Fatties and uglies everywhere, lots of tattoos and piercings, and lots of loudmouthed snark. The type of bitches that have that bumper sticker "Well behaved women rarely make history" plastered on their car.

Hot girls don't want a Perfect Manhattan. They don't want a Sazerac. They don't want a Gold Rush, Jack Rose, or a Sidecar.

Hot bitches in the U.S. want Vodka Redbulls and Mojitos.

Which is really a shame. It's always nice when you can meet an attractive girl that shares similar tastes or has a semblance of culture. I used to think that appreciation of fine things would be a positive attractor in women, but in practice they want fun, thrills, and emotion 1000x more.

These days I almost never order cocktails. They tend to have too much sugar anyway. Instead I go with a vodka+soda with a squeeze of lime. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

[Veloce]

(08-24-2015 04:04 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  

I'd go in strong and let him know the person is crazy. It's a tranny, so it's likely everyone there already knows how crazy it is and has had to deal with its bullshit in the past.

[amusedmastery]

This is sadly normal for the "bar scene". I've been kicked out of a bar because some triathlon guys I had just met and was talking to earlier allegedly "harassed" a waitress. Never mind that I was downstairs at the lower bar (playing with the band no less) and didn't know those dudes anyway. Oh well...Best bet is to find a nice lounge that has some cute girls that frequent the place and become friendly with the bartenders and bouncers. That way when incidents like this arise, they'll boot the chick and not you. Case in point, I occassionally hit a high end bar by my house and have become very close to the staff there. I only have a couple beers but tip them very well. Anyway, I had this psycho that I gamed previously in there start screaming at me about mistreating her (one night bang and I never called her back lol). Although they knew her, the bartenders immediately booted her ass out and DX'd her PERMANENTLY. They like me and would rather have my business. Hell, I've got the bartenders texting me if there's single pussy in the joint!

Find a new place. Build a relationship with the staff. Don't ever go back to that hell hole.

[cascadecombo]

(08-24-2015 01:14 AM)DVY Wrote:  

You got to understand the GM viewpoint too. Drunk regular just goes off the rails. But Im like wtf bro, I would never ever do that. He basically said, "look tonight is a shitshow. I can't deal w/it now. Lets figure this thing out next time."

Yea, it was in the back and the GM says they have a witness and video. I really want to see it, because I am 100% sure its not me.

It was a trans-sexual waitress, which might explain things. But she/he was really cool w/me before. Suddenly just flipped out on me. Maybe confused me w/somebody else.

I'll leave my options open.

I've never flashed anybody in my life. I thought they were straight pranking me. WTF.

If you didn't do it there is 0, absolutely zero reason to apologize. Actually they should be apologizing to you hoping that you will continue spending your money at their establishment.

Like Rio said, if you know for sure you didn't do it, double down. Talk straight and let him know that if his employees are going to be taking the shit out of their customers for no reason [or because the trannybeast is crazy] that you won't be coming back and will be taking your friends and acquaintances elsewhere.

Just like with OP, if you are at that spot frequently I'm confused as to why you don't know anyone? Even the new places I go to, I make a point to befriend at least one of the staff. In the places I frequent I know all the staff there and most the regulars. I've had people try to call me on shit I didn't do every once in a while, and it never stuck because the people know me.

[Rompetoto]

I understand stuff is going to happen from time to time at bars and night venues but its really a sad state of affairs when shit like this is going on.

[DarkTriad]

(08-23-2015 09:31 AM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Email the owner, file a complaint, what the bartender did was unprofessional and out of line. The bartender does not own the bar, and depending on the establishment, might not have that much pull to ban you. The fact that the bouncer tried helping you out and that the origin of the fight is the bartenders gf (who all the other coworkers probably know is crazy) definitely helps.

You would have to focus on the bartender behavior that was clearly wrong in the eyes of management (following you out and threatening you during his shift). Everything else they can dress up as you being a drunken dickhead that deserved it, but there is going to be no excuse for a BARTENDER following you out DURING his shift. The more you focus on the other stuff (no matter how justified) the more you're going to get stuck getting labeled as an obnoxious drunk. Put the bartender on the defense instead.

Say you feel unsafe with him threatening you outside. That will leave him answering some awkward questions.

[easternwomenrule]

I got banned for life from a bar years ago!

What you need to do is get in touch with the head manager. You need to be very kind and mature to him and beta up (nice guy) and explain what happened. You haven't done anything wrong, his employee is in the wrong. CCTV will prove your story!

It shouldn't be very hard. I was banned for life from a club cause someone started a fight with my mates and I tried to break it up! I meet a girl at a party that worked there and she spoked to the manager for me and I was taken off the 'ban for life' list.

[Suits]

On the plus size, I could see parleying this experience into a value building story for first dates.

You can be the badboy who was banned from a bar because the bartender was afraid that you were going to steal his girlfriend.

Bonus points if you confess that you weren't even interested in her because she didn't seem like the type of girls that you could talk about your feelings with.

[The Beast1]

(08-25-2015 07:04 AM)Suits Wrote:  

On the plus size, I could see parleying this experience into a value building story for first dates.

You can be the badboy who was banned from a bar because the bartender was afraid that you were going to steal his girlfriend.

Bonus points if you confess that you weren't even interested in her because she didn't seem like the type of girls that you could talk about your feelings with.

[Suits]

(08-25-2015 08:56 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

(08-25-2015 07:04 AM)Suits Wrote:  

On the plus size, I could see parleying this experience into a value building story for first dates.

You can be the badboy who was banned from a bar because the bartender was afraid that you were going to steal his girlfriend.

Bonus points if you confess that you weren't even interested in her because she didn't seem like the type of girls that you could talk about your feelings with.

However, this story telling technique should also work on thin girls.

[white22]

DO NOT APOLOGIZE!

You are on good terms wtih the GM, go in during off hours and have a sitdown with him. Explain to him that you frequent his establishment often and are appalled by his and his employess accusations. Make him aware that said accusations have made it public and if he doesn't put a stop to it immediately that you will have no choice but the escalate to legal action for slander and defamation of character to protect your upstanding reputation.

The waitress alone speading rumors is tough to fight, but the GM telling people that he has video proof (that at a later date he couldn't produce) would more than suffice as false staement.

[white22]

Don't threaten him just make it know that this behavior won't be tolerated by you. I doubt his loyalty towards that tranny is stronger than him not wanting a civil case brought against himself and his bar!

[MrXY]

(08-24-2015 06:31 PM)amusedmastery Wrote:  

This is sadly normal for the "bar scene". I've been kicked out of a bar because some triathlon guys I had just met and was talking to earlier allegedly "harassed" a waitress. Never mind that I was downstairs at the lower bar (playing with the band no less) and didn't know those dudes anyway. Oh well...Best bet is to find a nice lounge that has some cute girls that frequent the place and become friendly with the bartenders and bouncers. That way when incidents like this arise, they'll boot the chick and not you. Case in point, I occassionally hit a high end bar by my house and have become very close to the staff there. I only have a couple beers but tip them very well. Anyway, I had this psycho that I gamed previously in there start screaming at me about mistreating her (one night bang and I never called her back lol). Although they knew her, the bartenders immediately booted her ass out and DX'd her PERMANENTLY. They like me and would rather have my business. Hell, I've got the bartenders texting me if there's single pussy in the joint!

Find a new place. Build a relationship with the staff. Don't ever go back to that hell hole.

Good point and example-it can't be emphasized enough how much locking down a place gives you an advantage in these situations.

I have my own example from weekend before last. There'a a live country music venue close to my house that I go to 1-2 times per week because of all the fresh tourist pussy that shows up there. Most of the bartenders know me well enough to just bring over the drink I always order without my asking and the bouncers ask me how I'm doing that evening when I walk up. I tip well and am nice to everyone.

This night, I went in on a date with a hot and crazy hair stylist half my age. Purple hair, pierced nipples, that type. A very sweet girl in a lot of ways, but when she hits a certain alcohol level can get aggressive with random strangers. We were drinking a good bit, and I was talking to a group we had met when one of the guys pointed and asked what was going on with my girl. I turned around and saw her in a heated, finger pointing argument with a couple of older women. I was just thinking about walking over to pull her away, when she went flying backwards, spun around in mid air and landed on her face on the patio concrete. I started over to help her up but before I got there she jumped up,charged the women and started punching one of them. A bouncer grabbed her in a pro wrestling style full nelson. As she struggled to get loose, I said "Hey, man, just let me get her purse and I'll get her out of here." He said, "OK, sure", and immediately released her. I took her hand , led her over to get her purse off a table and then out the gate. I took her home, doctored the scrapes on her hands and knees, then made her bend over my desk and paddled her ass for misbehaving, followed by wild sex.

I doubt it would have gone that smoothly if they didn't know me. Since then, I've been back in twice and no one has said anything to me about it.

[redonion]

It's been a few days since I posted this and I'm much calmer now. I'm probably not even going to write a yelp review. It's not worth my time. I'm just looking back and laughing at it now. I feel like I already won by having that bartender completely loose his cool and explode on me.


Anyway, seems as if I could use some help locking down venues. I do have one venue locked down. It's a dive bar near my place. The staff and I are on a first name basis, I chat with them, tip well, etc. However, this bar is pretty barren when it comes to pussy on a weekend night. It's not a bad spot for dates.

Most of my night gaming involves going to much more crowded bars and clubs. I'm there during peak hours and there is no way a bartender would ever stop to chat with me when there are a bunch of thirsty customers everywhere else. I think I tip reasonably at these places (at least average). I drop $1 a drink, sometimes $2 (I'm in the US btw). I see a lot of people not even tipping. Now, at some of these places that I frequent, I can tell that I am getting better service from certain bartenders. We've never really chatted, but they'll come over and serve me before anyone, hook me up with bigger drinking glasses, etc.

The only thing I can think of is to get to these places early (like 7-8pm), and befriend all the staff at this hour before the place fills. Is this something you guys advocate?

[kosko]

^^ Yes. Make the effort to go early some nights and use that slow time to chat up staff. If you smoke then use extra long smoke breaks to chat up the bouncers.

If you are there often enough of the regular rotation of staff, most will know you on a name basis or at the very least recognize your face.

I don't personally get too acquainted. I mean that I don't like getting to the point where I am trying to text them to get me in or something like that, or am I really trying to kmow the deep details of their lives, etc. I find that enough people use bar/service people for that shit to try and get freebies and favours so you stand out more just being a chill dude who is a good customer, it gives off a more authentic vibe IMO.

.

[MrXY]

Yes, definitely.

As you say, you can't work the staff when the place is busy. The time to do it is before peak hours or on less busy nights. You want to become a known face at least and on a first name basis with some of the staff.

$1 or $2 per drink is ok as a routine tip at most places, but here's a tip-every once in a while make the tip $5 or even $10. Only do this if the bartender is someone you see working there regularly and if they've given you good service or if you need them to give you good service that night. Trust me, an out of the ordinary tip gets you a lot of bang for your buck. You will be remembered and get prime service after doing this once or twice. You don't need to do it much, just very intermittently. It's worth the money in terms of the time and hassle it will save you in the future , so it's a good investment.

It pays off in pussy too- hardly anything impresses women more than seeing that you are a man who is known to the venue staff and to whom they are deferential. It's a marker of high status to women, even though it's a status that is easily created out of thin air really. I've had women say 'Wow!" and similar when I got special greeting and service from staff. I've even had women who just happened to be standing there open me about it.

Try to lock down at least 3 places-say a dive bar, a big club, and a restaurant lounge. This will give you flexibility and variety in your venues. That's minimum. 5-6 is even better. Hitting a place once or twice each week at first and then after you're known once every two weeks is usually sufficient to have a place on lock down. That's not as hard as it sounds, since it's not necessary to spend a lot of time in each venue and you can hit 3-4 venues on a night out easily.

[cascadecombo]

(08-25-2015 10:11 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

$1 or $2 per drink is ok as a routine tip at most places, but here's a tip-every once in a while make the tip $5 or even $10. Only do this if the bartender is someone you see working there regularly and if they've given you good service or if you need them to give you good service that night.

This works magic.

An example while I was still living in Tampa, FL. They'd have sink or swim, it was like 10$ for entry or something. I'd bring 20-25 for entry with the spare cash for tips. I'd pick my bartender for the night, tip him or her 1$ the first drink or two then give him or her 5$ for one, then back to 1$ till I ran out. Even tho I only tipped once, and well into the night after I had ran out of tips the staff would always jump to me as soon as I walked up to the bar and they had a free second.

They'd also break the "rules" about one drink per person per order. Usually handing me 2-6 as I requested them, whether they were for my buddies or something else.

People remember things that are out of the ordinary. When drinks are free, and most the hipster kids are tipping 0, tipping anything is nice, but handing them something even a bit more than usual will make you stand out. That and before we start drinking I'd try to chat with them a bit, it's always nice to get to know your server a little.

[redonion]

Do you guys hand the tip over as you're being served, or do you collect your change, leave the tip on the bar, and walk away?

I almost always do the latter, but I often wonder if the bartender knows where it came from (sometimes a different bartender will even grab it).

[barnbarn2k]

Some of these places have lunch or supper things going on, that's when the "real" management is there. That is the best time to be there and get to know who runs the place.