[h5757]

Sorry in advance for the long post.

So first some background info.

I’m in college. A bunch of students were going to this room where a person was giving a presentation. The room was packed; there were probably like 60 people in it, including teachers. We were required to go the presentation because we were biology majors and we had to sign our name on a sheet of paper when we walked in to show that we were there (the piece of paper was on the right side of the room, and everyone entered on the right side of the room because that’s where the doors were).

When the presentation started, the whole room was packed, except for a few seats in the back. There was an empty seat next to me and an empty seat to the front left of me. I was sitting in the very back row (the last row). 5 minutes after the presentation started, this girl came in late and she signed in but instead of taking a seat right away she waited for a while and I looked over at her (I was very far away, like 20 to 25 feet away) and she was making eye contact with me. She didn’t look away right away either when we made eye contact. I’m pretty sure that I was the one who broke eye contact first. I turned away and then she walked over and sat next to me (the fact that she sat next to me doesn’t really mean anything because it was one of the only seats available).

I’m guessing it doesn’t matter too much, but does this girl think that I like her (I do think she’s attractive, but I just want to know if she knows that now)? Based on what she did, is this a sign that she likes me or is it too ambiguous?

There’s actually a presentation that a bunch of students are going to this coming Monday, and she might be there. So if she does something like sit next to me, and she actually likes me (and she thinks that I like her), I’ll look like a complete idiot if I pretend like I don’t understand what she’s doing (I think you’d agree). So if she sits next to me and I’m not sitting next to any friends (which might make her not want to sit next to me possibly; I’m not sure), I’m probably going to start a conversation with her and be subtle.

So I was wondering if I could get people’s opinions on what I’m planning to say.

Every year, starting fall quarter, we will all have to go to these things called WIPS (works in progress seminars), which are basically presentations with students at the school presenting the research that they are doing. I already know, based on a biology program handbook they emailed us (which is really long but I don’t even know if anyone reads it), that each year, we have to go to 70% of WIPS presentations and 50% of presentations given by professors (called excellence in biology lectures). We’re all in graduate school to get a Ph.D. in different biology fields.

If I start a conversation with her during a WIPS presentation (or the presentation this coming monday), if, let’s say, she sits next to me, very soon after she sits next to me, I was thinking of going with something like this:
“hey, do you know how many WIPS presentations we can skip?” [I already know the answer to this, but it’s a subtle opener]
“what about the excellence in biology lectures?”
“what year are you?”
“do you have trouble understanding the WIPS presentations, because I’m about to be a second year and I don’t get most of the stuff they’re talking about, so it’s really hard to pay attention” [a lot of people in graduate school have lots of trouble understanding research presentations for the first couple of years]
“when did you start to understand the presentations a lot better, because even after I took the advanced biology courses I didn’t understand the WIPS presentations?”
“so whose lab do you work in?” [in the biology program, we all work in research labs]
“I work in [professor’s name] lab”
“what’s your research project on?”
“mine is on etc.”
“I’m [my name], by the way”
“nice to meet you [her name]”
-and then I’m not really sure what else to talk about, maybe the conversation will head in another direction or maybe the presentation will begin. Maybe I’ll ask her about where she’s from, where she went to for her undergraduate studies, what she majored in, etc.?

So does that sound good? Any criticisms, or things to add or take out? Was that a good time to ask for her name (if I ask too soon, I think it would be awkward and it would make it seem like I’m flirting with her)? Since a lot of people are around, I don’t want to blatantly flirt with her and instead I first want to establish some rapport with her up to a point where we can see each other in the hallway and say hi to each other or nod to each other or wave to each other. Also to a point where I can sit next to her again at the next presentation or she will want to sit next to me. I think she might be able to tell that I like her, right? And yeah, I know it’s boring, plain conversation. But after that (or rather, the next time I see her), I can insert some jokes and flirting or whatever. But my point is that it will be way too awkward to blatantly flirt with her the first time I talk to her with so many people around (including professors which will be able to hear our conversation). It’ll be awkward for her too. I want to be as subtle as possible initially to make things more comfortable.

[Gringo]

You over think things. I didn't even read all of your post, it was too long.

[FretDancer]

I didn't read any word either, but the minute you stop over thinking and over analyzing these kind of things is the moment you'll get better at them.

[sir_seducer]

may be someday Roosh would ban the OPs who post such long posts for short answers.

for the advice...OP should work on his confidence..so that he wont think much.

[blurb]

Whoa. Dude. Seriously? Chillax.

I actually read your whole post, and since I kind of see my past self reflected in you, I thought I'd chip in.

1) Why are you trying to talk to her during a lecture presentation. Surely, the talking would cause some distraction and make some students complain and get you in trouble. Instead, flirt with her by passing a teasing note. Write a good joke on the note. Better yet, if you're really interested with this chic, find another place where she hangs out (without the stiff social pressure) and approach her there like in the cafeteria, park, cafe, or something.

2) You mentioned that you broke off eye contact first. That is not good. As a man, you need to be the dominant one, and one way you accomplish this is by making STRONG eye contact and forcing HER to break it off. That way, you'll come off as being powerful. Oh well, too late now. Just don't do it again.

3) Don't take it the wrong way, but I don't think she's "into" you yet. She sat next to you because it was the ONLY seat in the class. She made eye contact BECAUSE she was looking for an open seat. You still need to build attraction. Right now, to her you're a nobody.

4) Don't ask too many personal questions or ask them too early because it'll give off the aura of you being direct. Unless you are attractive and look like Brad Pitt, you're going to have to rely on indirect game. Mention something intersting AND personal about yourself like a funny family holiday event. Mentioning family can build her comfortability around you since you'll initally be seen as a stranger by her.

When's a good time to ask her name? I'd say don't ask her name. Instead, introduce YOURSELF first. That way, if she knows her manners and proper courtesy, she'll feel obligated and compelled to tell you HER name. If not, don't worry and keep talking with her.

5) If you don't know how to be funny or how to tell jokes, just search the internet and build a memory database in your head for the short-term. There's TONS, maybe thousands of hilarious quick one-liners on the internet. I've researched some myself and some were really hilarious that I had never heard of before.

I think building a memory database of quick, witty jokes is good for every guy since each joke can serve in different types of situational openers.

6) You're a college student. I'm presuming you're in the U.S. If so, you'll most likely be taking a writing class. Use this to your advantage and write an intersting essay about an intersting event/time in your life like your travels, hobbies, birthdays, holidays, and sports. Your life is not that boring. Once you finish your essay, you'll have a basic outline of it in your head. You'll be able to recall it and narrate it smoothly rather than being put on the spot for something interesting to say. This will give you a solid 5-minute block of time where you won't run out of something to say.

7) It looks like you're new to game. Your first outings are probably not going to be successful. It'll take a while. Don't expect to be pulling supermodels. Don't worry even if you do come off as being too direct and obviously flirting. The important thing for you right now is to JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

8) Don't care. Really. She's just one girl out of billions in the whole world. You get the girl when you don't care. Right now from your writing, you seem a little needy.

If you get rejected, I'd advise you to ask another girl out within 5 minutes so you don't get hung up over her.

[kerouac]

too long of a post, didn't read it, but all you gotta say to girls is:
"i like you, i want to kiss you" (be drunk, and make sure she is drunk too) and grab her by the arch of her back, and slobber all over her. she will like it, and if she doesn't, she's a slut! forget about sluts, we just like good girls around here.

[h5757]

(06-12-2011 03:41 AM)blurb Wrote:  

Whoa. Dude. Seriously? Chillax.

I actually read your whole post, and since I kind of see my past self reflected in you, I thought I'd chip in.

1) Why are you trying to talk to her during a lecture presentation. Surely, the talking would cause some distraction and make some students complain and get you in trouble. Instead, flirt with her by passing a teasing note. Write a good joke on the note. Better yet, if you're really interested with this chic, find another place where she hangs out (without the stiff social pressure) and approach her there like in the cafeteria, park, cafe, or something.

2) You mentioned that you broke off eye contact first. That is not good. As a man, you need to be the dominant one, and one way you accomplish this is by making STRONG eye contact and forcing HER to break it off. That way, you'll come off as being powerful. Oh well, too late now. Just don't do it again.

3) Don't take it the wrong way, but I don't think she's "into" you yet. She sat next to you because it was the ONLY seat in the class. She made eye contact BECAUSE she was looking for an open seat. You still need to build attraction. Right now, to her you're a nobody.

4) Don't ask too many personal questions or ask them too early because it'll give off the aura of you being direct. Unless you are attractive and look like Brad Pitt, you're going to have to rely on indirect game. Mention something intersting AND personal about yourself like a funny family holiday event. Mentioning family can build her comfortability around you since you'll initally be seen as a stranger by her.

When's a good time to ask her name? I'd say don't ask her name. Instead, introduce YOURSELF first. That way, if she knows her manners and proper courtesy, she'll feel obligated and compelled to tell you HER name. If not, don't worry and keep talking with her.

5) If you don't know how to be funny or how to tell jokes, just search the internet and build a memory database in your head for the short-term. There's TONS, maybe thousands of hilarious quick one-liners on the internet. I've researched some myself and some were really hilarious that I had never heard of before.

I think building a memory database of quick, witty jokes is good for every guy since each joke can serve in different types of situational openers.

6) You're a college student. I'm presuming you're in the U.S. If so, you'll most likely be taking a writing class. Use this to your advantage and write an intersting essay about an intersting event/time in your life like your travels, hobbies, birthdays, holidays, and sports. Your life is not that boring. Once you finish your essay, you'll have a basic outline of it in your head. You'll be able to recall it and narrate it smoothly rather than being put on the spot for something interesting to say. This will give you a solid 5-minute block of time where you won't run out of something to say.

7) It looks like you're new to game. Your first outings are probably not going to be successful. It'll take a while. Don't expect to be pulling supermodels. Don't worry even if you do come off as being too direct and obviously flirting. The important thing for you right now is to JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

8) Don't care. Really. She's just one girl out of billions in the whole world. You get the girl when you don't care. Right now from your writing, you seem a little needy.

If you get rejected, I'd advise you to ask another girl out within 5 minutes so you don't get hung up over her.

Yeah, sorry about the long post, I’m new here soooooooo yeah. I’ll keep my future questions much much shorter.

Good point about the eye contact. This is getting a little detailed, but how long should I keep the eye contact so I won’t seem creepy? I mean, if it takes 5 seconds for her to break the eye contact, won’t I come off as creepy?

Also, I meant talking to her before the presentation starts. It would be a really bad idea to talk to her during the presentation.

[blurb]

(06-12-2011 09:58 AM)h5757 Wrote:  

(06-12-2011 03:41 AM)blurb Wrote:  

Whoa. Dude. Seriously? Chillax.

2) You mentioned that you broke off eye contact first. That is not good. As a man, you need to be the dominant one, and one way you accomplish this is by making STRONG eye contact and forcing HER to break it off. That way, you'll come off as being powerful. Oh well, too late now. Just don't do it again.

Yeah, sorry about the long post, I’m new here soooooooo yeah. I’ll keep my future questions much much shorter.

Good point about the eye contact. This is getting a little detailed, but how long should I keep the eye contact so I won’t seem creepy? I mean, if it takes 5 seconds for her to break the eye contact, won’t I come off as creepy?

Also, I meant talking to her before the presentation starts. It would be a really bad idea to talk to her during the presentation.

Don't worry about coming off as creepy. It is better than not opening your mouth at all. Saying something is better than saying nothing.

Eye contact:

70% spent looking directly at her eyes.

30% spent looking at the space between her eyes.

Lean back away from her when sitting. Make HER come to you. Make her fight for your attention. Sometimes look away when there's a distraction like when someone trips and falls or there's an exciting game of frisbee going on.