[Thomas Gabriel]

I think the word aloof is one of the best words to summarize the ideal attitude towards women. But being aloof will mean you are relatively unexcitable. If you are unexcitable, it could be said that you are boring. I suppose it is possible to be highly interesting while still being aloof, but I'm interested in hearing some opinions on where the line is, and how not to cross it.

[X-Factor]

Good question.

I see these guys all the time. They sit at the bar (or party, or whatever) and try to act "aloof" or something similar, and end up going home with Rosie Palm. It's like they think it's some sort of "anti-game." They think to themselves, "All these guys are out here gaming on women openly. I'll try to do the opposite and act disinterested and aloof, and then the girls will see how cool I am because I'm not like these other pigs." This thinking is fundamentally flawed because we KNOW that the techniques of the community build and create attraction. Now all of a sudden this Mr. Aloof has it figured out?

WRONG.

I saw a guy doing this at the bar last night as a matter of fact. He sat there all frigging night, sipping on his Budweiser and acting aloof and disninterested. However, it was obvious that he wanted to pick up because I kept catching him looking around at the bevy of women that needed to get banged. Not once did he crack a smile or bust on any of the women. He never told a joke and never laughed. I, on the other hand, owned the bar last night. I was approaching, getting approached myself, and generally having a blast. But I also pulled back when necessary. I busted on one cougar who tried the classic female qualifying shyt-test when she told me that she was too old for me. I told her, "Yes, you ARE too old for me." I was having a blast and my game reflected that fact. In turn, the women wanted to come into MY world. They wanted to have the same fun that I was having.

However, you don't want to act the fool. The key is a seamless transition of push/pull. I took one late twenty-something home with me. Her name was Lisa, or Leeshy, or CC or something like that. Don't remember and don't care. But I know for a fact that I saw Mr. Aloof walking to his car alone.

Don't be that guy.

[twigman]

better bugs bunny than james bond seriously

[Thomas Gabriel]

Haha I don't know about that. James Bond has the perfect attitude.

IMO here is the difference: In the example of the guy at the bar who was acting cool but not talking to any girls, we can tell that he was actually just shy. Someone who is truly aloof would have no problem talking to an attractive girl they notice. But in doing so, they wouldn't have a huge grin on their face, and they would be in no way excitable. James Bond is a great example of that.

But how do you think James Bond would do at a club or a house party? His low-energy demeanor is perfect at the usual places he hangs out, but not at the club. He would probably seem boring in the club. So, how can he be high-energy while still being aloof? I think that is one of the reasons that clubs are by far the hardest place to meet women.

[twigman]

(01-16-2009 02:18 PM)Thomas Gabriel Wrote:  

But how do you think James Bond would do at a club or a house party? His low-energy demeanor is perfect at the usual places he hangs out, but not at the club. He would probably seem boring in the club.

I've tried it and it can come across very weird to act like that. Thats from ''actual in the field james bond impersonation''- try it. haha!

IMHO Its far harder to be radiate approachable and genuinely funny / witty / and turned on/ responsive.

Neil Strauss actually did some kind of test and videotaped it between a James Bond vs. rollerskater guy. Rollerskater guy won hands down.

[broken]

(01-15-2009 06:18 PM)Thomas Gabriel Wrote:  

I think the word aloof is one of the best words to summarize the ideal attitude towards women. But being aloof will mean you are relatively unexcitable. If you are unexcitable, it could be said that you are boring. I suppose it is possible to be highly interesting while still being aloof, but I'm interested in hearing some opinions on where the line is, and how not to cross it.

Aloof doesn't mean unexcitable. And unexcitable doesn't mean boring.

Aloof, in the pick up sense, means that a woman can't provoke an emotional reaction out of you.

The stereotypical PUA, enters a set high energy and gregarious. He then handles obstacles that try to undermine him by 1) not going tit for tat, 2) not insulting her back, 3) but by getting her/them to buy into his view of the situation.

Ex.
pua - "hey guys, quick question, my friends are waiting..."
warpig - "OMG Becky, he's watching that show on VH-1, are you some kind of loser?"
pua - "Oh, I love that show Becky, do you remember the part when..."

You can acknowledge what she says and totally gut whatever emotional and logical point to it. And because of your non-reaction and positive high energy, they'll just buy into it (often enough).

You can go totally the other way and blow it up, and accuse her of c-blocking, and really be as serious as possible...and then just start laughing cause she's totally buying into a fake reaction.

The real you, the you that feels a little pain anytime you get some resistance to a chick, is inaccessible to a chick. You're "aloof" in that respect. Ultimately you get to the point where you see what they do for what it is. If you've got a little brother or sister or nephews/nieces or cousins, you can tell when they are being cranky, playful, or when they really mean it.

Eventually, through enough interaction, you'll see it everywhere. Your boss, co-workers, adult family members, strangers, politicians...

Recap - You can be totally warm and very distant at the same time.

[Basil Ransom]

Quote:

Neil Strauss actually did some kind of test and videotaped it between a James Bond vs. rollerskater guy. Rollerskater guy won hands down.

The James Bond guy was completely humorless. James Bond may not be very animated, but he has that twinkle in his eye and cheeky wit.

And the competition was just to get a number. You can be a complete tool and get a zillion numbers. There are plenty of guys who get numbers often but rarely or never get sex.

Aloof isn't boring because:
you maintain strong, almost overbearing eye contact.
your humor is edgy, borderline offensive.
your reactions are very subtle, perhaps just an arch of the eyebrow, but communicate much detail.

Aloof, done well in the right setting, will have a girl on edge for your every word, staring at you in total rapture. Being aloof does not mean not approaching girls, it means not reacting emotionally and even physically, with muted facial expressions and body language, to her. Don't respond to her when she's boring. Eg, when a girl talks about her classes, I just stare at her blankly, look elsewhere, or talk about something completely different. If she leaves the room, you aren't perturbed.

As for the club/house party environment, the best advice is to be almost as drunk as your target. If the aloof card isn't working, speak louder and amp up your asshole game.

In general, the one who reacts less in an interaction has higher status. Pickup artists widely agree on this. Also check Keith Johnstone's "Impro" for one of the greatest writeups on exhibiting status via body language.

[Roosh]

I went through an aloof stage at some point, but got out of it quickly because it yields little results. You can be cool while gaming as long as you are confident and not needy.