[haywire]

I'm sure the online gamers here must have some funny stories to share. Here's mine:

A couple years ago I was browsing CL looking for a house cleaner and also happened to be going through a dry spell. Just randomly clicked on women seeking men and found this chick's ad that seemed decent, but there wasn't a pic. Since I didn't have any leads at that time, I decided to write to her anyway. Few hours later she replies back with pics and its gets me all excited. She looked like a chubby 6 but bangable, but there was something unusual about her pics I couldn't really put my finger on, especially about her smile. Went back and forth and setup a date near her place. I drove 20 miles to pick her up. Get downstairs at her house and call her up, she says she's coming. Gets me all charged up, having not touched a woman intimately in a month. The moment she steps in, my mind goes from 60-0 in record number of seconds, and starts connecting the dots and making sense out of all the pics she sent and why in each one of those she had her mouth closed. The mystery behind the esoteric smile was finally revealed. I had my car on parking, and the as soon as she opens the passenger door I instinctively press the gas peddle really hard making a big noise as if I wanted to run away from death- this chick has the most crooked teeth ever and has a little hole on her forehead. I'm filled with shock and disbelief, to say the least! Wanted to bail ASAP but she too was a master at her art and had already placed herself comfortably by my side in no time. It was supposed to be a dinner date, but I forcibly cut it down to drinks. Got a little tipsy and then made out with her. I try to go further, and she stops me saying she'd like to keep the rest for future dates and I'm like yeah right bitch, you're the woman of my dreams, perfect wifey material, I can definitely wait till our honeymoon!!

Finally get back home, embarrassed as hell. Spent the next two weeks trying to avoid myself in the mirror

You guys got any?

[Vicious]

(06-10-2011 10:08 AM)haywire Wrote:  

She looked like a chubby 6 ...
I drove 20 miles to pick her up...
this chick has the most crooked teeth ever and has a little hole on her forehead...
Got a little tipsy and then made out with her. I try to go further...

I 'm reading this in utter disbelief.
The problem here is hardly isolated to online dating... It's your self-respect.

[WEDO]

Your story reminds me of the time I took my aging father to a strip club during bike week here in Phoenix....tipping chicks so they will talk to me always made me feel like the red headed step child that had to have his mother tie a pork chop bone around his neck to get the dog to play with him...jajaja....But my dad is in his 70's so I agreed to take him.

We go to a place called Christies Club in Tempe and the parking lot is over run with Harleys....almost couldn't fit my 4 x 4 in the parking lot without smashing one of the bikes. Get in there and the talent is pretty good...but I couldn't help but notice this guy next to us with what I assumed where a couple of dikes who rode Harleys and liked women....I mean these where some ugly fat broads.

Then out of the blue I catch this guy out of the corner of eye grabbing and kissing on the hairiest one of the two. I was shocked and then felt repulsed at witnessing this....I mean this guy wasn't just kissing this fat hogs neck he was deep throat kissing this thing.

I look over and tell my dad with have to move to another table....and he says "Why?"....I said do you see what I see and he says "Yeah"....Well I said that is one dangerous mother fucker next to us and I'd rather not be sitting next to him....I told him any guy that can do that could easily slit another guys throat without thinking twice.

The moral of the story is I can not do fat ugly chicks to save my life no matter how drunk I am....in fact I can hardly tolerate watching other guys do it....hence the age old expression "I wouldn't fuck that chick using another guys dick". jajajaja

[WEDO]

Anybody watch that Movie "Hall Pass"? ...it was a comedy about a couple of guys that get a week off from being married to do whatever it is that they wanted to do without any repercussions. They basically just go out and make fools out of themselves hitting on younger women and getting shot down in the process.

The movie was terrible....and what made matters worst is that I was sitting in a movie theater in Cali Colombia with an extremely hot chick less than half my age when I saw it. For about 90 minutes I was actually embarrassed to be an american.

[Moma]

I met a lizard back in the day in a house party. We got to talking and dancing and I collected her number. I had (and still do) good night vision but I wasn't too pleased at what I saw but I was really trying to get my notches up, I'd had a good year in terms of slams and I wanted to keep it moving.

We met up for drinks and went to her place afterwards. We chit chatted..had a few things in common and she told me that her pops was an ambassador in Thailand or some shyt like that. She showed me some pictures of the palace/mansion she lived in with her fam.

Something in my memory triggered off about the rumour with Thailand and the katoeys. We were kissing and making out and she admitted that she had hair growing down her back and she didn't give a shyt. I know some women sometimes get hairy but my brain was saying "Moma, your logic is fairly infallable, can you vouch for this 'lizard' being born a woman?"
I decided to let it ride out.

We made out and put my hand down her back and felt the hair. I tried to reach further (she was now in her panties and bra) but she parried my strike saying "I don't do that on first dates"
I reached and clawed again but my heart was pounding. I would have screamed very loudly like a bitch if I actually reached down to grasp man meat.
We never went to base (although we slept in the same bed together, no sex).
Morning came and I left, telling her I would call. I never called of course.

It sounds boring but I wonder to myself, what if she was a dude? I think that would psychologically maim me for life.

On a side note, I know a dude (all in Europe) that was dancing with this 'lizard' at a bash. She turned out to be a switcheroo and he decked her accordingly upon revelation.

[haywire]

(06-10-2011 11:03 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

I 'm reading this in utter disbelief.
The problem here is hardly isolated to online dating... It's your self-respect.

Really? You mean to say you don't have a single experience you could say you weren't proud of?

All the players I have talked to have stories that they wish hadn't happened, but in hindsight most of it becomes stuff they later laugh at.

[Moma]

(06-10-2011 03:20 PM)haywire Wrote:  

(06-10-2011 11:03 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

I 'm reading this in utter disbelief.
The problem here is hardly isolated to online dating... It's your self-respect.

Really? You mean to say you don't have a single experience you could say you weren't proud of?

All the players I have talked to have stories that they wish hadn't happened, but in hindsight most of it becomes stuff they later laugh at.

Never mind, haywire. Show me a man who has made no mistakes and I'll show you a man who never did anything. However, I must say your t-levels must be insane to try and bang a dragon. I've tried but I catch erectile dysfunction in the presence of monsters..

[haywire]

Well it was a combination of a few things. Like I've mentioned, I was going through a dry spell but still at the first sight I wanted to run away but she had already sit in my car and obviously couldn't throw her out after that. I cut the dinner date to drinks so I could end it asap but after foolishly downing two surprisingly strong drinks I got a little tipsy and didn't want to drive back all the way back till I felt a little more sober, and then said fuck it lets go for it who's gonna see this chick again. But I'm so glad she didn't let me fuck her!

[Basil Ransom]

1. Met a girl online through IM. Looked sorta hot, completely empty profile except for the pictures. Flakes once or twice, supposedly because her stalker ex slashed her tires. One day we agree to meet, and then on the day of I tell her I made other plans. She immediately calls me and I tell her to come down.

We meet up, she's crazy and depressed. We walk past a clothing store, and she darts in without saying anything. I wait outside for two minutes, and then continue on without her. She calls me, we meet back up at the date venue, and this happens a couple more times. Never see her again.

2. Meet up with a girl living in drug recovery house. Pick her up, take her to my neighborhood. We're walking, somehow the conversation gets to American Psycho and Patrick Bateman. I was leading her to a rooftop, and she said "I really wouldn't care if you totally threw me off the edge and killed me". I closed, but she smelled of cigarettes so bad it was disgusting.

I have a couple more war stories, but in general, I've learned, smokers and fatties aren't worth your time. Even if you do get 'em the first time, you won't want it again.

[Gmac]

I wrote a few stories on my online dating experiences.

Here are two of my bad ones:
http://hokieblogger.com/?p=207
http://hokieblogger.com/?p=815

[Basil Ransom]

Bet you guys can't top this:


The two are getting married. He looks potentially very handsome if he styled himself, and she is at best a 4/10.

[haywire]

(06-10-2011 05:09 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

Bet you guys can't top this:


The two are getting married. He looks potentially very handsome if he styled himself, and she is at best a 4/10.

D A Y U M

WTF

Is he still going by the "pics she put up on the dating site" or what???

[Vicious]

(06-10-2011 03:20 PM)haywire Wrote:  

(06-10-2011 11:03 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

I 'm reading this in utter disbelief.
The problem here is hardly isolated to online dating... It's your self-respect.

Really? You mean to say you don't have a single experience you could say you weren't proud of?

All the players I have talked to have stories that they wish hadn't happened, but in hindsight most of it becomes stuff they later laugh at.

Oh I've made plenty of mistakes. But to acknowledge I've made a major mistake and then keep moving on it? No.

[haywire]

(06-10-2011 05:35 PM)Vicious Wrote:  

Oh I've made plenty of mistakes. But to acknowledge I've made a major mistake and then keep moving on it? No.

It is meant to be an amusing thread where people could laugh at each others' fail stories. Don't know why you're trying to sound so serious.

[Vicious]

If you feel I'm "too serious", by all means laugh this of and keep doing what you're doing.