Short Version
1) You need to give yourself a hand, there's some really good game in these two interactions.
2) As for your "failure" - I think we might have different philosophies, which lead to different strategies, which then suggests different tactics.
3) As for the question in the title, it's not particularly related to the questions inherent in the reports. We'll get to that
TL DR - To answer your question directly.
- You need to write a whole lot more to get good at texting.
- that means on the forum, when you instant message chicks, in your regular life. Texting is a subset of your ability to communicate and persuade. Think about texting in that light, and it should become clear what is necessary.
That's not the answer you want to hear though.
Long Version
Scenario 1
The Good Game
+ A Gym Pick Up - takes balls
+ situational opener - very smart
- rating a chick as a 5 - can unconsciously mess with your game
--trying to pick up a 5 - see above
+ she was in to you enough to call you
What I don't know, which goes back to your main question about getting better at texting.
- what do you look like
- where you were in your routine
- if there was an audience
- whether there was loud music or an annoying fan
- if she was sweating, if you were sweating
- what was her body language
- how is your game in general
^none of this matters per se, but to get better at writing texts - you have to learn to include details that illustrate the scene. There's absolutely no color in the situation, and as far as I can tell you delivered the whole thing monotone and she was just waiting to be opened. I have no idea because you didn't put any ideas into my head.
Every time you write *here*, every dude should be able to put himself in your shoes, and see the scene.
You'll start out over describing things, but with time, practice and feedback, you'll learn to edit it down.
What is your philosophy on the game?
What's your world view?
That's something you need to answer for yourself. I know people don't like to talk about that "mushy" stuff - but if you don't have a clear vision - it's hard to formulate a strategy that complements your style.
Your worldview informs your strategy.
And the strategy here, the plan at least, seemed to be
- open
- attract
- get a # close
- and then what?
From there you're in the not-so-enviable position of trying to get a girl outside of your physical presence to come see you.
A Different World View -> Different Strategy
You didn't describe any of your constraints, but a different strategy, would have been to suggest a
post work out instadate.
"I like your energy"
*she nods, compliments you back*
"Hey I know this great salad/smooth/paleo/bulletproof coffee place"
Feel her out right then.
The worldview for me
- Chicks can fuck at the drop of a hat, she has to hear the right words and she'll open her legs
- Got them endorphins going from the work out
- Pheremones are flowing
- She's obviously feeling you
Growing up as a teenager, we both know that if you followed a chick home back from school, you could weasel your way into the living room, and put your hand up her shirt. These chicks love dick. That's part of my worldview. If you feel that a chick that likes you a lot from the very beginning is really communicating sex, you will act accordingly.
What are the Odds?
I don't care how good someone says they are, they don't pull every chick off of a cold approach. I think night game is better than day game, but that's more a function that everything is working in your favor typically.
Day Game?
Day Game experts claim that 1 in 10 chicks that they meet on the street ends up in bed.
That doesn't mean
9 "Fuck you creep, I'm calling the cops",
and
1 "OMG, I'm totally having your babies"
It means that a bunch of those girls went down the pathway to bed, and most exited before the player got a chance to put P into V.
This goes back to your philosophy on game.
- Is it just a #'s game? Look and dress your best, some bitch is gonna want to fuck you if you talk to enough of em?
- Are you a verbal hypnotist that takes no's to maybe's and maybe's to yes? You believe that you can talk your way into pussy.
- There all horny sluts, and I just need to stay in there long enough to slide up in there
- Are you the sort of person that is a whirlwind/life of the party sucking people into your vortex of fun and unpredictability?
I can't tell any of that from what you write.
I can't see what your strategy is.
Maybe you don't have one.
Maybe your view of the game isn't complete yet.
Which brings me to the problem inherent with *this* pick up attempt and day game in general.
In a short interaction like this, you don't have time to cook.
In my view, you should adopt a different strategy.
Simmer vs Microwave
1) Simmer - If you want a good #, you need time to make an impression. You either have time to really display yourself, convert her, wear her out (all diff ways to bang) - in an instadate setting where you have more time. Instadate has other benefits, but the in this context TIME IS ON YOUR SIDE.
OR
2) Microwave - You make such an impression in a short time that she's DYING TO GO OUT WITH YOU. This is much harder to pull off, and it goes much deeper than stories and gambits. It's more of an internal change. Topic for another time.
The way that a lot of guys talk about day game doesn't really push the average guy into either direction. Those cats are truly playing a #'s game. If she happens to like you right off the bat, she'll follow up.
That's just like you seeing a pretty chick and talking to her. She ain't really done shit to attract you, other than just be herself and be in your view.
If you spot a chick like this, yap at her, get her hype, grab her # - just like night game - she's going to come off of her high, and regular life comes roaring back.
So if you didn't consciously try to make an impression on her OR get her to invest in you - the texts, the calls, the first date - are entirely up to her with little, if any, influence from you.
Last Minute Resistance and First Date Resistance, that all starts at the beginning of the interaction.
Switch to Text
It's a good sign that she initiated the text.
The "nancy pull up" line was golden.
Giving her a nickname is a good way to set the frame/control the dynamic.
Solid Game.
Text only for Logistical Purposes is Weak Game.
I see the strategy here. A little fluff, but straight to logistics.
That strategy will keep your text game WEAK.
You never will even try to flex some new shit, because you're trying to be "efficient"
Furthermore, if you only rapped to a chick for like 15 minutes and got the #, she doesn't really know you. She doesn't have anything to sink her teeth into, to get her hungry to see you.
You can play the bad boy if you want, charming rogue type shit.
Or you can be an interesting fun ass dude. There's a dozen ways to play your personality.
But if you keep your texts to 85% logistics and don't really open the lines of communication - you're not going to get better at texting, and you're less likely to make a chick want you when you're not in her physical presence.
We all know that writing is powerful.
All of us can write, if we put the time in.
So you didn't put the time in when you met her.
The texts themselves are primarily logistical...
So from the first meet, to the text games, you're not really showing her a thing about yourself.
Now down to the tactical errors
You are way too thirsty and not cognizant of what a girl might actually be like.
This is how I read it.
PLAYER - CAN YOU GO OUT FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY?
CHICK - NAW, NAW, MAYBE...
By putting your needs and desires first, you can't uncover her shit.
You *should* get a sense of what this chick is about, how she spends her time, and ask her what days she's free.
1st attempt
- let's meet up.
- I have softball
2nd attempt
- let's meet up.
- I have family stuff
3rd attempt
- let's meet up...
You get the picture right? You're going into the situation cold, asking for shit, and she's denying you. To her credit, she seems interested.
This behavior puts you in a position of weakness. if you care about that "hand" bullshit, you know you don't want to be there.
With your particular use of "efficient texting:, you never got her to agree to anything. All she does is shoot down your options.
Psychologically, she controls the frame, she controls the flow.
She might not be thinking that, but that's the objective reality of the situation.
More importantly, you aren't gaining intel on the chick.
This is a weakness of the "efficient text" strategy.
It's born of guys who suck when it comes to writing, and don't WANT TO GET BETTER. They'd prefer to lose chicks over the long run by not even trying, versus crashing and burning for a bit and then having a new tool in the arsenal. It's not solid game.
Eventually she agrees, and then she flakes.
And then she tries to reschedule you, and you punish her.
I get that you were mad. But if you're mad at her, take it out on her pussy, not on her phone.
And this horrible behavior continues. She's seeking rapport, and all you're doing is denying her. (unless of course the roles are reversed - and I'm reading it wrong. I hope not, cause you sound pathetic if that's you trying to go for a run)
You kept fumbling the pussy over and over again.
And this is a chick that obviously LIKES you.
So let's RECAP for Scenario 1
- Write out your world view
- Write out your strategy
- Next day game opportunity - 1) push for an instadate, 2) push yourself to make a deeper impression
- When you text, find out about her
- Find out when she's free
- Then propose a time and date (social pressure might make it harder for her to deny you, after she said she was free)
- If she flakes, but wants to make it up to you, - LET HER
- Meet her asap, take your anger out on her pussy
Scenario 2
Car girl Cristina
Good
- You opened her
- spread a bit of your personality
- took an innocent question and hooked it into a # close
Bad
- you didn't enlist the sister for help - might be more of advanced technique, (this actually came up in the above sequence as well)
You need to get her friends/family on your side.
On to the Text
- the good is that she said she felt bad for not texting you back. (might be bullshit, might be politeness)
- the bad - just like above, you lead with the "let's meet up" before you know what's going on in her life.
- the okay - is that you pivoted to figure out when she was free.
And the same thing sort of unfolds like the first instance.
Jagnum proposes time before he knows what the chick is up to.
She relents, agrees, and flakes. And she tries to make it up, and Jagnum is too proud or too angry to allow her.
You're too invested in this shit. Especially for a so-called "5". Either your dick is hard and you need to fuck, or your ego's bruised, because a mere 5 should be jumping at the chance to fuck you. That's the weakness of SMV and number rating systems. They'll get you wound up on some bullshit.
I don't care if a chick flakes, I don't bring her to a spot that I wouldn't want to be at anyway. I'll keep that chick on my mass text list until we bang.
The same advice as for 1st Scenario applies here.
Bonus
An important point that most players miss, one that I used to avoid
These bitches invite you out with their peoples.
To me this is the slimiest, most evil shit bitches pull on a regular.
As they say, if you lay down with 10's, you wake up with gay best friends. Something like that.
Problems of The "Meet My Network" Date
- you don't have her undivided attention
- you have to impress her AND all her friends/family/co-workers
- none of which you know
- it's typically some boring shit.
Both these broads light weight invited you to "come with".
You smartly avoided these shits, but in the future, here's how you handle that shit.
"Oh, My mom, dad, granny, and uncle Saul are gonna be there for my cousin's bat mitzvah."
Mazel Tov that shit my G.
- Roll up to that bitch
- yarmulke on fleek,
- shalom the homies,
- challah back at the rabbi, and
- drink some Manischewitz,
- Kiss Bubbe on the cheek
- see your chick
- make a big impression
- get her logistics for the night,
and then ghost (or dybbuk)
You're leaving pussy on the table by reducing your face time.
In Conclusion
Your problem with texting is multi-faceted
- you don't illustrate, you just write
- you're way too thirsty with your "efficient texting"
But these tactics goes back to your strategy.
If these chicks are true "throwaways" - the strategy should focus on volume, and less emotional investment.
If these chicks are not throwaways, which I suspect they are not, then you need to change your strategy - which might mean a change in your worldview and how you approach life and the game.
In my view, these flakes and false starts are endemic to low investment day game. If you want better returns, you have to change how you approach these chicks you randomly meet when you're out and about.
Either
- you change how much time you initially spend with them,
- change your 15 minute rap to be way more dynamic so that she wants to really hang with you, or
- you jettison efficient texting and learn how to show yourself through text and get her to invest.
Otherwise, this will continue to happen.
WIA
Quote: (07-28-2015 05:19 PM)Jagnum Wrote:
Texting is something I struggle with; it’s probably the reason avoid online game. It takes me a lot of time thinking of something witty and playful to write. So instead, I try to stay focused on scheduling a meet up.
Guys in this forum have been helpful with their advice on approaches. And one of the guys asked me, what’s happening after your approach?
Here are two examples:
Girl 1: I've called her Nancy. She was a 5. I met her at the gym, she was doing pull ups, on the bar across the squat assist rack, which I thought was strange. I ask her, “Excuse me, is that a good exercise?” She turns out to be friendly and we ramble about pull-ups, the gym (she was on a trial week), and where we’re both from. She just graduated college and moved to this city two months prior. She mentioned she liked beer, and I talked about a good beer garden nearby. I found out she works 7 am – 3 pm. I didn’t have my phone, but she did. She called me from her phone in the gym.
Girl 2: I've called her Cristina: Another 5. Latin, in her late 20s. Her car was parked outside my home as I was getting back from the grocery store. She was investigating her front tires outside her car when I walked by. I opened her and we got into talking. She told me she just moved back from Barcelona. Even though her sister was waiting in the passenger seat, she was still engaging me in conversation. A good sign. We talked about where we lived and I told her I had moved between four different apartments the first six months I lived in Seattle. She asked, “Really? Why did you move so much?” I began to tell her, then I stopped myself and said, “I could continue to tell you the details of all my living situations, or …. you could give me your number and we could chat over a drink.”
I don’t care about either of these girls.
I care about improving conversions. I’m stuck at converting 20% of my phone numbers to a date. It’s been that way more or less since I started game fourteen months ago. I know texting is only a piece of game. I’m continuing work on improving my voice, body language, and content in conversation.
But as far as texting is concerned, what I'm asking the forum is what you might say or do differently? You are all creative as hell.
I'm attaching a short PDF with both conversations I typed up.
From my own re-read of the conversations, I think:
Girl 1: I didn’t punish her enough for cancelling on me. I should have said, “Okay. Text me again when you know your schedule and want to hang out.” Let her chase. Also, I should have asked her, “What’s your schedule like this week?” towards the beginning of the conversation to avoid asking her out thirty times. Finally, when she writes something like “invite your roommates if you want!” I should not respond at all; everything she says doesn't need a response.
Girl 2: I’m not sure about this one. In most cases, she's been quick to respond. And she contributed a lot more to the conversation than I had. I’ll probably hit her up with a “Yo” in a few days. Or I might say, “Forget it. Best of luck with everything” with the idea my rejection might trigger her to work to ask me out.
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