rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


Complete Newbie
#1

Complete Newbie

I don't even know how to start to be honest...
I discovered the manosphere and all that a few months back, been reading returnofkings and I've been watching some youtubers (Davis Aurini and Aaron Clarey), and i get the message about self-improvement and being the best you can be, but i just don't know where or how to start.
I just moved to a new city with my parents, I'm 20 years old ( Yes, how sad it is to live with your parents at this age), I don't really have any friends (I have one but he lives in Europe and i live in Brazil, so that doesn't work really well), I don't know what to regarding a job or education ( Tried law school, quit, later tried psychology school, quit too), I'm depressed most of the time, I'm a virgin, I don't really have any hobbies or interests, I don't like anything and i don't know what to do honestly.
I really want to be a great man, but i just don't feel the drive to be like that. I get that i'm supposed to want somethings like sex and living standards, but i don't really want those things. As sad as it seems i don't see much future for myself i.e I'll be living in a small condo by myself until i die, working in a minimum wage job.
As you can see i'm completely lost and i don't really know what to do. I would really appreciate some help if you have the time.
Reply
#2

Complete Newbie

Eat healthy
Work out every single day
Sleep well
No TV, movies, or video games
Internet only if it is to get important information - no web surfing for entertainment
Cut down masturbating to once or twice a week maximum

If you get bored work out more, meditate, or go for long walks where there are crowds of people.

Becoming Mindful and Present are keys to happiness. Glowing screens and entertainment media (porn included) are all an escape.

These are the basics.

SENS Foundation - help stop age-related diseases

Quote: (05-19-2016 12:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  
If I talk to 100 19 year old girls, at least one of them is getting fucked!
Quote:WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Am I reacting to her? No pussy, all problems
Or
Is she reacting to me? All pussy, no problems
Reply
#3

Complete Newbie

At 20 yr old you have a long old road ahead of you my friend. Use your 20s to build yourself up to becoming the best man you can be and reap the benefits in your 30s when you are approaching your SMV peak with women.

The very fact you found the forum and the wider manosphere means you're already ahead 99% of other chumps out there with your potential, no matter if you may be starting from behind a lot of them. Just work on yourself and improve that 0.01% every day.

Get active on the forum, contribute where you can. Reach out to try and meet likeminded wings - use this guide to help. It may take a while before you build up your social circle but stay positive as remember it only really takes one quality friend & wing to really start to change things. As he can introduce you to his equally cool friends and social circle which will help propel you down a better road in life. As Jim Rohn said: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"

Start with envisioning what kind of man you want to become. Then break it down and put a long term plan into place on how you are going to achieve this. You are still very young and nobody at that age truly knows what they want, hence your plan may require revision as you grow and learn new things. But that is fine, the main thing is that you have a plan and goals to strive for.

Take action on all the points Travesty laid out. I would also add get talking to girls. Make your initial goals achievable initially, no matter how modest. If you are shit scared of approaching, even make it one indirect approach a day and ask for directions. Doesn't matter from where you start as long as you start. Starting is the hardest part, once you do however then you start to build up momentum and thats when you really start pushing the envelope.

Remember it's a marathon not a sprint.

Irish
Reply
#4

Complete Newbie

The fact you're typing this here means you do feel a drive to change. You do want to improve yourself and your position. You are just fortifying your laziness and aimlessness by lying to yourself that you don't care that much. Stop lying. You saying you don't want more sex and money is just you disarming yourself lest you feel compelled to do something to get those things. Stop prioritizing laziness and inaction.

1) The Number 1 rule in dislodging yourself from a bad position is increase entropy (or chaos / randomness). You will probably notice that your life follows the same dull pattern everyday. This habit entrenchment is what leads men to never go anywhere in life. You must make effort to break this every day, such as:

2) Try stuff. Anything and everything. Hiking, dancing, debating, surfing, singing whatever. You may find something you like. I also don't believe you have no interests. Are you saying you just stare at a wall all day?

3) Deliberately break patterns, e.g. take different bus routes, go to different cafes/ restaurants, visit different parts of town etc.

4) Deliberately open conversations with random people, for no purposeful reason other than to hear what they have to say.

5) Use the 'life time visualization technique'. This is where you envision yourself 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years in the future if you carry on the way you're going, and imagine the horror of your life as you go nowhere but down, then "snap back" to the present and say "it's OK, it hasn't happened yet". You then repeat it imagining what would happen if you engaged in driven self-improvement over the same time period, and visualize all the joy and pleasure and winning.

6) Read biographies of winners to get inspiration.

7) Death ground strategy. For example, if you hopped on a bus to another city, where you cannot live at your parents place, you'd be compelled by fear and pain to get your shit together.

8) Stop deliberately killing your drive. No drugs, no drink, and especially NO wacking off to internet porn.

9) Tell your parents to fuck off. They're obviously the kind of people who are rubbing this stagnant attitude off on you.
Reply
#5

Complete Newbie

There's nothing sad about living with your parents at 20.
You gotta stop saying crap like that, you're bringing yourself down and don't compare yourself to other people either.
Your life, your struggles, your fight!

I'm one of the luckiest man alive, nothing in my life has been easy...
Reply
#6

Complete Newbie

Quote: (07-26-2015 11:53 AM)Travesty Wrote:  

Eat healthy
Work out every single day
Sleep well
No TV, movies, or video games
Internet only if it is to get important information - no web surfing for entertainment
Cut down masturbating to once or twice a week maximum

If you get bored work out more, meditate, or go for long walks where there are crowds of people.

Becoming Mindful and Present are keys to happiness. Glowing screens and entertainment media (porn included) are all an escape.

These are the basics.
Thanks for that, but do i do this gradually or, you know, staring today; now?
Quote: (07-26-2015 12:17 PM)Irish Wrote:  

At 20 yr old you have a long old road ahead of you my friend. Use your 20s to build yourself up to becoming the best man you can be and reap the benefits in your 30s when you are approaching your SMV peak with women.

The very fact you found the forum and the wider manosphere means you're already ahead 99% of other chumps out there with your potential, no matter if you may be starting from behind a lot of them. Just work on yourself and improve that 0.01% every day.

Get active on the forum, contribute where you can. Reach out to try and meet likeminded wings - use this guide to help. It may take a while before you build up your social circle but stay positive as remember it only really takes one quality friend & wing to really start to change things. As he can introduce you to his equally cool friends and social circle which will help propel you down a better road in life. As Jim Rohn said: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"

Start with envisioning what kind of man you want to become. Then break it down and put a long term plan into place on how you are going to achieve this. You are still very young and nobody at that age truly knows what they want, hence your plan may require revision as you grow and learn new things. But that is fine, the main thing is that you have a plan and goals to strive for.

Take action on all the points Travesty laid out. I would also add get talking to girls. Make your initial goals achievable initially, no matter how modest. If you are shit scared of approaching, even make it one indirect approach a day and ask for directions. Doesn't matter from where you start as long as you start. Starting is the hardest part, once you do however then you start to build up momentum and thats when you really start pushing the envelope.

Remember it's a marathon not a sprint.
Thanks. I will try to find some people around me, and as you've said start growing my social circle. And about talking to girls: yeah i'll try to start slow by asking directions and all (i'm not really good on approaches). I tried daygame back in my old town but i failed miserably at it. I guess starting from the basics isn't a bad idea
Quote: (07-26-2015 12:20 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

The fact you're typing this here means you do feel a drive to change. You do want to improve yourself and your position. You are just fortifying your laziness and aimlessness by lying to yourself that you don't care that much. Stop lying. You saying you don't want more sex and money is just you disarming yourself lest you feel compelled to do something to get those things. Stop prioritizing laziness and inaction.

1) The Number 1 rule in dislodging yourself from a bad position is increase entropy (or chaos / randomness). You will probably notice that your life follows the same dull pattern everyday. This habit entrenchment is what leads men to never go anywhere in life. You must make effort to break this every day, such as:

2) Try stuff. Anything and everything. Hiking, dancing, debating, surfing, singing whatever. You may find something you like. I also don't believe you have no interests. Are you saying you just stare at a wall all day?

3) Deliberately break patterns, e.g. take different bus routes, go to different cafes/ restaurants, visit different parts of town etc.

4) Deliberately open conversations with random people, for no purposeful reason other than to hear what they have to say.

5) Use the 'life time visualization technique'. This is where you envision yourself 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years in the future if you carry on the way you're going, and imagine the horror of your life as you go nowhere but down, then "snap back" to the present and say "it's OK, it hasn't happened yet". You then repeat it imagining what would happen if you engaged in driven self-improvement over the same time period, and visualize all the joy and pleasure and winning.

6) Read biographies of winners to get inspiration.

7) Death ground strategy. For example, if you hopped on a bus to another city, where you cannot live at your parents place, you'd be compelled by fear and pain to get your shit together.

8) Stop deliberately killing your drive. No drugs, no drink, and especially NO wacking off to internet porn.

9) Tell your parents to fuck off. They're obviously the kind of people who are rubbing this stagnant attitude off on you.
1) Yes it does seem a very dull pattern with some spikes of motivation here and there.

2)I'm kinda in the middle of auditioning for a theater group that i found by pure coincidence, but i might try other things too.

3)I kinda do that already, but not often enough. Like once a week. But i guess you mean doing it everyday.

4) Not sure how to do that...

5)I really need to work on the "Yeah that's not gonna happen'" part.

6)I do that, the "effect" doesn't last long though.

7) I didn't understand this one. Are you suggesting that i actually do that or just imagine it?

8) Funny thing: I don't do any of these things. Never drank, never did drugs, stopped masturbating almost an year ago (lost sex drive).

Quote: (07-26-2015 12:27 PM)Aquiles_Baesta_Parada Wrote:  

There's nothing sad about living with your parents at 20.
You gotta stop saying crap like that, you're bringing yourself down and don't compare yourself to other people either.
Your life, your struggles, your fight!

I don't know man i think as a man i should be building independence and my own life and all.
Reply
#7

Complete Newbie

Seems like two big things are bothering you. Your social life specifically with girls, and your lifestyle situation.

Ideally you work on both fronts at once. But it might help to get your social life in order first, and once you have those skills on lock, focus 100% on your lifestyle.

That's what I've done. I spent 1 year gaming hard to fix my problems with women at the time and I don't regret it.. That helped me build a foundation. Nowadays, other things are more important... The gym, travelling, money, self-reliance for instance. Girls are second to everything else for me now, though I still make sure to have fun in that regard.

I was a virgin until 19 and that demoralized me. Even more the fact that I had to wait until roughly the same time to get my first kiss. It's comical to look back on that now and see how much progress I have made since then.

If you want to know more about how I went from nothing to everything (to me at the time) with girls, read this: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-6375-p...#pid492348

Also, on the lifestyle front, get into some hobbies. Start working out. Be more social, wherever you are. Make more of an effort where you've lacked it. You have to be taking on the traits and activities of a cool person, to be a cool person. And start looking into self-reliance, one step at a time.

We can only give you some intelligent advice. The motivation, drive, and execution has to come from you.

Boa sorte!
Reply
#8

Complete Newbie

What do you want out of life? Define yourself.

Do you want to be living alone in a condo until you die working a minimum wage job?
Reply
#9

Complete Newbie

Quote: (07-26-2015 12:55 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

Seems like two big things are bothering you. Your social life specifically with girls, and your lifestyle situation.

Ideally you work on both fronts at once. But it might help to get your social life in order first, and once you have those skills on lock, focus 100% on your lifestyle.

That's what I've done. I spent 1 year gaming hard to fix my problems with women at the time and I don't regret it.. That helped me build a foundation. Nowadays, other things are more important... The gym, travelling, money, self-reliance for instance. Girls are second to everything else for me now, though I still make sure to have fun in that regard.

I was a virgin until 19 and that demoralized me. Even more the fact that I had to wait until roughly the same time to get my first kiss. It's comical to look back on that now and see how much progress I have made since then.

If you want to know more about how I went from nothing to everything (to me at the time) with girls, read this: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-6375-p...#pid492348

Also, on the lifestyle front, get into some hobbies. Start working out. Be more social, wherever you are. Make more of an effort where you've lacked it. You have to be taking on the traits and activities of a cool person, to be a cool person. And start looking into self-reliance, one step at a time.

We can only give you some intelligent advice. The motivation, drive, and execution has to come from you.

Boa sorte!
That was an awesome story, man. Even though it's kinda different from my life there are definitely some lessons to be learned by reading it.

Brigadão!
Quote: (07-26-2015 01:02 PM)Sonsowey Wrote:  

What do you want out of life? Define yourself.

Do you want to be living alone in a condo until you die working a minimum wage job?

See, that' s a major problem i have. I have no real aspirations as to what i want to do. I feel alienated from everything.
Reply
#10

Complete Newbie

Quote: (07-26-2015 12:17 PM)Irish Wrote:  

Remember it's a marathon not a sprint.

Don't expect everything to change at once. Slow and steady progress.

Start with changes in just a few areas. If it was me I would start with finding ways to add social interaction in your life (building social circle, interacting with people in general even if you don't plan on seeing them again) and a healthy lifestyle (eating well, getting enough of sleep, going to the gym).

As you learn contribute on this forum. Help other people out.

Good luck.
Reply
#11

Complete Newbie

http://www.rooshv.com/the-roosh-program

This is what myself and many others on the forum started with (I wasnt a COMPLETE newbie before finding redpill/roosh/ pua but still).

Its simple, and nothing stops you from completing all steps other than your own choices.

One and two you probably have under control if you've read the other replies or anything on the forum.

The most important advice (which is what all the other pieces are to assist) is to APPROACH 100 WOMEN.

Realistically you can masturbate and skip the seinfeld episodes (Except that they really do help you ramble), as long as you meet your target of 100 women (fat, gorgeous, short, tall, black, white, asian, whatever).

Good luck from everybody at the forum
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)