[Gorgiass]

TLDR - What are your guy's thoughts on the pros and cons of having roommates vs living alone? Rent and a wingman worth less personal space? Any personal stories you have that would sway someone for or against it?

The TL part - Reason for asking is I recently settled in a new area, when I moved I hired a guy off Craigslist to help. Few years younger than me, intelligent guy if a bit new-agey, bodybuilder, good natural game - better than mine. I was impressed with his work ethic and offered him some work when we started a job near him which wound up getting pushed back to this fall. Despite his game he was head over heels with his babies' momma, told me among other things that he just gives her whatever he earns because she was educated and better with the money. "Seems like a bad idea but whatever works for you, man". He was also on probation for an assault charge.

Occasional text contact, and the other day I got a letter from jail telling me that babies' momma got into his Facebook, found some messages and nudes of girls he was banging, flipped her shit, posted them online, attacked him. They both went for restraining orders but for whatever reason only hers took and the judge gave her full custody of the kids. A month later he sent her a text saying he still loved her and wanted to see the kids, she reported and he went to jail for probation violation. He said that he was done with XXX state and asked about work and maybe renting a room.

I'm torn between helping a brother out and getting a social circle started, and coming home after a workweek to someone else's dishes in the sink. Been on my own for 10 years but had some slobby roommates before that. The cash would be nice but I don't really need it. There's also the consideration that he wants to work with me but I already have a good crew with seniority that I have to keep busy first. Even that can sometimes be a challenge, so he'd be looking at very intermittent work and have to keep himself busy the rest of the time. It sounds like he was doing fine with work before, but potential for some drama there.

I've been waffling on the fence for a few days so hoping somebody out there has the tiebreaking anecdote or advice.

[Yeti]

If possible most guys in most situations would do better to live alone, most of the time.

However, it's possible for even people whose lives would otherwise benefit from living solo, to have an acceptable roommate situation. You just find someone compatible with your personality and schedule and come to an understanding. In this way you can save serious cash on rent and actually it can benefit your life in other ways, for example someone will have your back if the relationship is good, and you'll have access to a greater social circle.

My general rule is that I'll never live with a girl again. I'd rather live with a guy with whom I can just be direct about house issues and not have to worry about his feelings being hurt.

In my experience it's best, if you think that a guy is someone with whom you could share a place, to set out the expectations and understandings at the beginning. Set up a cleaning schedule, for example, with specific times of the week in which you'll share cleaning responsibilities (him on the first and third Sundays, you the second and fourth).

[Dantes]

Benefits of having a roommate are the costs savings and if you are you are young, having a social atmosphere are home can be cool. However, when you get older you will value your privacy and quiet time after a long day's work. Living alone is much better for bouncing a girl back to your place. There are enough obstacles to this already, why cockblock yourself. Living alone is also a clear indicator of financial self- reliance.

[Moma]

I would say nay to roommates. You have to be very careful with roommates as it's one thing to hang out with a few lads but when you really live with them, you know what they are truly like as you will be around them for extended periods.

You may understand how well they handle money or there may be idiosyncrasies that are intolerable.

I had to learn this in Toronto. I had roommates in London but I grew up in London and I understand my peeps well so the vetting process was different.

In Toronto, I was flopped at the very last minute by a guy I knew from work who swore he was ready to move. In hindsight, I should have known to take word from a person who lives in the comfort of his parents home with a pinch of salt as he can always bounce back there at any obstacle and leave the lone ranger in the dirt.

Nevertheless, this dude couldn't come up with basic downpayment for the rent despite three months advance notice and I had to make a sudden desperate swerve at the end for a room for rental.

I tried again a year later with another dude from work. This guy made a strong petition to begin with but I quickly realised that despite his facade of seeming mature, his maturity was that of a 12 year old. He had unrealistic budgets which were a stark contrast to his very moderate salary and he made minimal efforts to search for places. Also, certain people from certain cities seemed to be territorial without rationale and will not venture far from the area they grew up.

After this joker flopped, I took this going forth and now living in the US of A, I can cut down to the bare minimum but will NOT compromise on roommates.

With that in mind, unless you are a really good judge of character and even so, if you really can't handle living on your own, I would strongly suggest you get a place on your own.

Lizard wise, you can bring them in when you feel like it without having to explain to the person you are living with or risk any sly sabotage.

[The Beast1]

Room mates when you're in your 20s. Unless you have the cash to afford living alone, it makes zero sense to spend 100% of your money and have nothing left over.

Live with guys your own age and make sure you're all on the same page. Never under any circumstances live with women.

Overall if you can live with good friends, do it.

[MdWanderer]

As a person who has had numerous roommates through five years of college, even best friends, and who has also lived alone (briefly) I'd say live alone. I was roommates with one of my best friends and my gaming buddy from my job last year and although we got along great, he got into a LTR and I had to deal more with dishes in the sink and hearing them fuck every night rather than the fantasy of us gaming out on the town and pulling multiple girls back to our place like I had imagined. Many people are under the illusion that its more fun to have a roommate and that you will be instant friends and make multiple connections, but from my personal experience, I never became good friends with any of the roommates I had (unless I was friends with them previously) and some of them I hate to this very day. They usually had their own social circles and cliques and never invited me into them.

The benefits of living alone are numerous. You'll still be able to make friends and have a social circle, and can bring them over to your house on your own terms (i.e for parties) but will have your peace and quiet after a long hard days of work. Your bathroom is yours and yours only, you won't get grief for leaving on your fan or having to deal with others turning off the AC, nor have to deal with noise (unless its from the neighbors). It's also much better for bringing a girl back to your place. Rooming with friends is always tempting but their company gets stale after being around them daily and any beefs that may come up are carried into the household. I am currently with roommates now to save money for bills and traveling but if I had the additional funds like you I would live on my own.

[Gorgiass]

(07-22-2015 11:47 AM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

...and I had to deal more with dishes in the sink and hearing them fuck every night rather than the fantasy of us gaming out on the town and pulling multiple girls back to our place like I had imagined.

Thanks for the input. All well said, especially this. Nothing would put the damper on the envisioned wingman and social circle like having crazy ex and two kids move in while I was working for the week. The nays have it.

[Travesty]

If you can find a kick ass male roommate that makes solid $ then it is perfect because it saves you money. Usually this is hard to find as well as keep up because people move on or get LTRs.

This unicorn roommate will be like this:

- male professional or business owner, solid income, same age or a few years older than you
- He owns the place, takes great care of it, and is mature
- Single
- pro-Game, pro-Slaying

Very hard to find.

Otherwise, are you trying to save $ to make a big life move like invest in a venture or move abroad? If yes, suck it up and get the best roommate you can. If you love where you live and don't see acquiring capital as a big need, shell out for a 1BR.

[Peregrine]

I would rather pay more for a small bachelor than split a 2BR. Two things in life that I'll happily pay a premium for: a short commute and the right to close the door on the world at the end of a long day.

[brob]

Overall, he kind of sounds like someone who might bring you down rather than bring you up. Sounds like he's got some good qualities but bad judgment at times. But hey, people make mistakes and if you really trust him that he could be a solid guy and don't think he would be an overall negative influence on you, then maybe it's a good idea to let him in.

[Drazen]

Only get roomates if you can live in a "party pad" and that's only in your early 20s. Its good because girls will always be over, you'll have people to roll with and a legit pad for the "afterparty" with your bedroom a few steps away. This usually means renting an entire house with 3+ people though.

Anything else outside of that is kind of weak. Live in a smaller place by yourself, budget your own expenses and learn to live frugally instead of relying on others. Its just an aspect you cannot control. What if they move out, then you're screwed with double the rent. What if they're messy, well, then you have twice the work.

[GetFree11]

I'm pro-roommate. I've had over twenty roommates in my life and I've been pretty good friends with almost all of them, even the guys I only met after they've moved in.

I think the key is to be easygoing and to keep changing places. Dirty dishes in the sink never really drove me crazy. Still, Even my very good friends started becoming annoying whenever I stayed living in the same place for two years. thus, I like switching places after a year.

Financially, I've always had low rent because of living with roommates. Further, I believe you're less likely to get screwed on the security deposit if your roommates keep living in a place while you move out.

[Dalaran1991]

I've only ever lived with roommate and I think its an either or situation. If you have a good one it makes your life whole lot better; if not its just fucking annoying. theres no such thing as an average roommate, if he is neither good nor bad after a while living with him it will become bad.

When one of my old rommate left he recommended another to take his place. Fucker smoke weed and shit in the house all the time while my house is non-smoker, leaves dishes days unwashed and always always have friends coming over, as if my house is a fucking whorehouse. Also disrespected me and wanted to "divide the house" and shit, given that all the furnitures and stuff are mine. Needless to say I kick the fucker out after 3 weeks. He left a trail of destruction in his wake but Im just thankful I got rid of the bastard.

After that I NEVER get a new roommate that I do not know. Since then for every new roommate candidate I have to do a long interview session and sometimes feel like a dick, but it really pays off.

Ideal situation is to have your space really segregated so you dont intrude on each other space. Among the quality the guy has, respect and cleanliness are must have.

My current roommate is just a very nice plain John and he does nothing but staying locked in his room all day, but sometimes we go out and do shit together. So he doesnt make my life any better but certainly not any worse, and rent goes way down.

However if you are an introvert like me sooner or later you will need your own space. Soon as I find a job Im moving out.

[Deepdiver]

After having lived with 140 other "roomates" ship mates actually sunk together in a nuclear sewer pipe where you have nuke boat smell and the women all bring fresh civvies and garbage bags for you to toss your boat laundry into - I crave my privacy and rather live in an income property in the smallest apartment and rent the rest of the property/apartments out to live frugally yet have my own private space to bang my rotation without anyone the wiser - the tenants mind their own effing business less their rents get raised and the female rotation only stays so long as they are useful... balls deep.

Have never met one American female who can cook and clean well like my Mother and Grandmother - if I do I may turn her into an LTR.

I would rather live frugally like a Paris writer or painter with time for a young sexy rotation than live with any roomates period but that is just me... wolves pack, turkeys flock, eagles hunt alone.

[Imperator]

I would say i'm pro-roommate, through my experiences i can tell you that you should thoroughly check anybody that will live with you. You want someone who is more organized since that type of person will be less likely to allow your place to fall into disarray. I had gotten lucky in college and lived with the same guys all 4 years. We all shared similar social circles and that had made game a lot easier. On more than one occasion they'd distract the whales that would play mother hen with the other girls we had over.

Among the biggest complaints i had involved a drop in my work productivity since it is very easy to get distracted especially if you get along very well.

[WanderingSoul]

I prefer to live alone, but if I needed to build up my social circle, especially when moving to a new city, I'd definitely look at finding a cool spot to live with a couple of cool roommates. Problem is you never really know if they are cool or not until you move in.

[BadgerHut]

Unless you really can't stand another person in your space, I think living alone is a boutique thing whose extra costs are much better spent in the investment market or on other lifestyle benefits. I've had good luck with roommates (been pals, winged for each other etc) but two must-haves IMHO:

1. Get a place with separate bathrooms if at all possible
2. Hire a cleaning lady - nothing can smooth the roommate relationship like not arguing over whose turn it is to clean the kitchen/toilet/etc

And obviously you can't get some blue-pilled punk who's going to watch shitty TV all the time, order fattening pizzas and hate on your game.

[AneroidOcean]

(07-22-2015 10:28 AM)Gorgiass Wrote:  

TLDR - What are your guy's thoughts on the pros and cons of having roommates vs living alone? Rent and a wingman worth less personal space? Any personal stories you have that would sway someone for or against it?

The TL part - Reason for asking is I recently settled in a new area, when I moved I hired a guy off Craigslist to help. Few years younger than me, intelligent guy if a bit new-agey, bodybuilder, good natural game - better than mine. I was impressed with his work ethic and offered him some work when we started a job near him which wound up getting pushed back to this fall. Despite his game he was head over heels with his babies' momma, told me among other things that he just gives her whatever he earns because she was educated and better with the money. "Seems like a bad idea but whatever works for you, man". He was also on probation for an assault charge.

Occasional text contact, and the other day I got a letter from jail telling me that babies' momma got into his Facebook, found some messages and nudes of girls he was banging, flipped her shit, posted them online, attacked him. They both went for restraining orders but for whatever reason only hers took and the judge gave her full custody of the kids. A month later he sent her a text saying he still loved her and wanted to see the kids, she reported and he went to jail for probation violation. He said that he was done with XXX state and asked about work and maybe renting a room.

I'm torn between helping a brother out and getting a social circle started, and coming home after a workweek to someone else's dishes in the sink. Been on my own for 10 years but had some slobby roommates before that. The cash would be nice but I don't really need it. There's also the consideration that he wants to work with me but I already have a good crew with seniority that I have to keep busy first. Even that can sometimes be a challenge, so he'd be looking at very intermittent work and have to keep himself busy the rest of the time. It sounds like he was doing fine with work before, but potential for some drama there.

I've been waffling on the fence for a few days so hoping somebody out there has the tiebreaking anecdote or advice.

Getting a social circle started with (and live with) an ex-con who RECENTLY violated his probation and can't manage his money and who has no solid work other than if you give it to him? Whatever could go wrong?

How do you not see the GIGANTIC red flag this is for a friend much less a roommate?

If you decide to get a roommate in the future don't do it with anyone with these gigantic red flags. Be very clear about what you're looking for and ask them about their schedule, their habits, their interests, etc... Be detailed and thorough and you can end up with a decent roommate. Living alone is better than having an okay roommate every time. The only reason to have a roommate is to save money or be able to afford in a nicer location with better logistics.

If you decide to have a roommate make sure you're the only one on the lease (with a clause that allows you to sublet, in the past I've lowered my rent by nearly 20% this way renting out rooms for more than they cost me) because if push comes to shove you can put their stuff in a storage locker, change the locks, and bye bye roommate. You don't really know someone well until you've lived with them. If someone is exhibiting these signs before you even have spent any significant time around them/lived with them, it's not going to get any better.

TL;DR DON'T DO IT