[Yeti]

In many ways connection has been disastrous. We have confused information (of which there is too much) with ideas (of which there are too few). I found out much more about the world and myself by being unconnected. - Paul Theroux


This may draw some controversy but I would like to explain a lifestyle strategy that has brought a great deal of clarity into my life and helped me to become more disciplined, to the extent that any drawbacks have been far outweighed by the benefits.

I am advocating that guys experiment with disconnecting from the Internet at home and also remove data-plan Internet access from their phones (Wifi is okay). I followed both of these steps inadvertently for a summer once and found that, though boring, they improved my life by forcing me to get out more and interact with people. I was also more productive at work, and I became quite fit, adonic even.

Here is how it works:

- unsubscribe from an Internet service at home. Also switch your phone plan to calls and texts only, with no data-plan Internet access. You of course can access the Internet anywhere else - at work, outside of home, etc.
- this means that when you arrive home you`re cut off from the online world
- in effect, this forces you to get your logistics and organizational work done by the time that you leave work or wherever. It thus makes you more efficient with your time because you know that you have to focus on getting only the really important stuff done by the time that you leave - no Facebook, no clickbait garbage, etc.
- and in the long run being at home is really nice as it clears up your mind for longer-term thinking and the development of new ideas - the kind that a lot of guys here will have never experienced because they grew up with the Internet. The Internet is fantastic but it also distracts us from deeper thinking.
- you disconnect your phone from the Internet as well so that you don`t cheat. If you`re out and about in a city, you can probably find wifi to connect if you get lost or something and need directions

Here are the main benefits that I see from disconnecting from the Internet at home:

- the main one is really important - clarity of thought, perspective, more strategic thinking. How many of us have been caught in a technology loop? I found when I started the disconnection process that I remembered all sorts of things that I`d been too distracted before to allow back into my consciousness. This helped me a great deal in my development as a man as it allowed me a certain way out of the trap of modern life to always have something going on - after all, what`s the rush?
- you`ll go out more and be more social as there`s not as much to do at home
- you`ll get more exercise, whether it be going to the gym (because you`re not tempted to continue looking at some useless article online) or just taking a walk around the neighborhood
- better sleep (less temptation to stay up, and you`re more aware of what your body needs)
- you`ll work less (no ability to check email after work hours) or be more efficient while you`re at work. Come on - in the long run it`s not healthy or beneficial to you as a man to work yourself ragged. We should probably all be working less generally, with some exceptions for guys in the younger stages of their development, but even to them I`d recommend that they go to the gym rather than getting in that last bit of work.
- you`ll do more deep reading, usually from books, rather than reading a bunch of articles online. Both are necessary but when I`m always connected, I read too many articles and not enough books. I found that I hadn`t read a work of literature in over a year.

Here are some of the drawbacks:

- you can`t get shit done at home if it requires the Internet. Personally I can sufficiently mitigate this by doing it at work or at Starbucks on the weekend. It`s not 100% effective as sometimes I really could do with researching stuff at home for a couple hours, but on the whole this drawback is neutralized by the ability, when I really need to, to access the Internet at work or by going out.
- harder to respond to personal emails and social media. Generally though you should be limiting your social media presence, unless it`s for business. If people want to talk to you, they can call or text. Regarding online game, it may be better to cease this almost entirely, as I have.
- harder to conduct a business if you have your own. I have a side hustle and if I really need to get something done online, I`ll just bring my laptop to a cafe with wifi, or go in to work a bit early the next day and get stuff done then. Obviously this will be more of an issue to some guys than others. But it`s still possible. Think of all the guys in Chiang Mai, Thailand who run their own businesses from cafes or hotel lobbies or wherever. The point is, it can be worked around.
- life is more boring. But, on the other hand, it`s not good for our long-term development and happiness to be stimulated all the time. You need mental down time.

Why disconnect entirely at home? Why not just be connected but limit yourself to certain hours of the day, relying on willpower? Personally it didn`t work for me and I gave in. Also, relying on willpower for one thing reduces your ability to resist other temptations - we seem to have a limited reserve of willpower in any given day. It`s probably better to just disconnect entirely and preserve your willpower for going to the gym, etc.

Again, I`m sure that this sounds absolutely implausible to a lot of guys. You`ve got shit to do, money to make, and you have to be connected. It`s true that particularly with online businesses you need to respond quickly to ensure the sale or deal. I am not denying this.

I am saying, though, that for a lot of guys it actually is not only plausible, but will bring them greater long-term success in their business, their game, and their fitness and health (among other things) to afford themselves the clarity of thought that comes from being disconnected. Particularly with business, the ability to think things through is vital and I think that most people would say that being disconnected really helps us to do this. Some people even pay serious cash to be disconnected.

We used to run toward technology that connected us. Now, the luxury is to run away.

Some writers, like Pico Iyer, seem to agree:

The urgency of slowing down — to find the time and space to think — is nothing new, of course, and wiser souls have always reminded us that the more attention we pay to the moment, the less time and energy we have to place it in some larger context. “Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries,” the French philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote in the 17th century, “and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” He also famously remarked that all of man’s problems come from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone...

A series of tests in recent years has shown... that after spending time in quiet rural settings, subjects “exhibit greater attentiveness, stronger memory and generally improved cognition. Their brains become both calmer and sharper.” More than that, empathy, as well as deep thought, depends... on neural processes that are “inherently slow.” The very ones our high-speed lives have little time for...

It’s vital, of course, to stay in touch with the world, and to know what’s going on... But it’s only by having some distance from the world that you can see it whole, and understand what you should be doing with it.


The Internet has changed my life for the better, beyond any doubt. In my mind though it needs to be experienced in moderation, otherwise we become somewhat predictable in our personalities - very literal and lacking in creativity. Having a few hours of free time at night and in the morning helps us to be more strategic and long-term in our thinking, and gives us perspective on what`s going on. It helps us ultimately to be more aware of the world and of the opportunities that surround us.

I imagine that a lot of guys will say that I am a Luddite and nuts, but I`d say that you should try it for a month and see how you feel. Being connected 24-7 has become standard to the point where we don`t remember what it feels like to be somewhere alone with our own thoughts. You need this time to be creative and to afford yourself perspective.

In brief, disconnecting from the Internet at home has made me more disciplined and improved my life. Any drawbacks can be mostly mitigated and anyway are far outweighed by the benefits - at least for me. I recommend that everyone try it for a month.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Wow. I think this is great. I might just try it for a week though to start.

Just thinking about doing this makes me realize what a crutch/comfort blanket the internet is to me. And not a beneficial one either.

My attention span is really bad these days, likely due to the internet. My tendency to fall back onto movies, trivial clickbait (uh...manly clickbait though, not celeb gossip) and a reliance on screens has been more and more of an obstacle.

Reading books, which I used to love doing, has become a chore.

Great post.

[wi30]

Great idea but impractical for many who work from home.

I recently moved to a new place and had to wait about two weeks before getting the internet set up. The only drawback was not being able to listen to Pandora. I constantly have music playing in the background at my house.

I got a ton of reading done that had been put off by wasting time on the internet. I also felt more "at home" if that makes any sense. Everything seemed more peaceful. Luckily, I've kept up the habit of reading over browsing with the exception of the forum.

There have been week long stretches where I don't touch my computer and just play Pandora through my fire stick. I now use my computer exclusively for research or briefly browsing the forum.

The one thing I've learned is that you aren't missing out on anything online.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I work from home and need constant internet access to "catch" work no matter when I actually do it, so this would not work for me. But it's a very interesting and bold idea.

[monsquid]

I've been doing this on Sundays. At first involuntarily as I was temporarily working in a remote area where there was no internet for couple of days of the week. This is when I noticed the real difference between browsing internet forums and blogs vs. actually reading a book or the newspaper.

I felt more focused and intellectually engaged when reading offline. I seemed to retain more of the information as well. While your idea is impractical for many people the idea is still worth exploring.

[el conquistador]

I did this last year for 9 months. When I moved to a new place I intentionally did not have wifi installed. When I started an online business I finally caved in.

Here are few things I experienced:
- I spent way more time outside the house - gym, visiting friends, walking etc.
- Removing access will not remove the craving. When I found a coffee shop with a good connection, I would spend a whole afternoon consuming online material like a starving dog at a buffet.
- I got really frustrated trying to get stuff done using slow/poor wifi connections is cafes, gyms etc.
- I missed out on a few social events because people created a Facebook event page and I was not part of the online discussion.
-The money I saved on not paying an internet bill at home was spent on tea, coffee and food in places with wifi.

In an ideal world, I would have the following: No internet at home but have a 24-hour shared office space nearby.

[mammal]

Us older guys remember when we got by with a landline and maybe an answering machine.
I'm not a surgeon; i don't need to be on call 24 hours a day. Anyone who needs to talk to me can wait a few hours; it'snot a life or death matter.
Work? As a rule if it's not 9-5 weekdays, it can wait until the next working day.
I let people know this is how I run my life. How they react to this is up to them.

[travolta]

This sounds great but I work at home so not possible. Money never sleeps.

[Mage]

Internet at home is useful and needed for anyone who works from home but you don't have to disconnect fully to reap benefits. Just use willpower and planning to set a limit for how many hours you can use internet and computer. Make a few hours every day internet free, computer free and phone free or even some days of the week.

Restricting yourself in one area makes you compensate in other areas making you stronger - that is the wisdom behind many ascetic practices of old.

This is also the reason Jews are so smart. They have so many restricting laws they must obey that they got very clever in figuring out how to manage their lives despite them. Secular jews who don't even observe the laws but still inherit this cleverness of squeezing trough loopholes and restrictions to get ahead do very well in life. So do Christians who take fasts, vows and prayer time seriously.

Also think about restricting yourself from your phone.

I also challenge you to have at least one good friend or more with whom you have a no phone policy. You will have at least one friend with whom you can meet regularly in a time and place arranged without calling and using the eavesdropping device, by leaving it home. This will build your mutual accountability to the levels of premobile era and more and you will be able to accomplish great things together.

[Yeti]

Internet at home is indeed useful but I guess that the larger question for me is whether it is benefiting your life more than it is detracting. Ultimately I find myself happier and more productive, fitter, and better-rested when I'm disconnected and I think that a lot of guys would be as well if they disconnected, which is why I wrote the post.

Some guys can't be disconnected because they need to catch sales and deals. Most guys aren't in that position though and can afford to wait until the next morning to check in.

Again, I advocate that guys at least try it for a month. A lot will feel better.

[testos111]

Good thread. 90% of my work is online too, but what I've noticed is that after I come back from the cafe where I usually go in the mornings to work from, I don't take any break from the looking at the screen. I'm even having lunch looking at the monitor, while not doing anything productive that time.

So I have resolved to cut out casual surfing and chatting as much as possible. I was reading somewhere that our eyes not meant to take in so much light and need adequate rest. I hate the feeling of fatigued eyes as it transfers to the rest of my body and mind and I start to feel like shit.

Planning on going for long walks after I have done some amount of work, learning musical instruments, meditating, etc. But have to avoid looking at the screen. Let's see how it goes.

[Yeti]

Hey testos, you should read this thread regarding bright light therapy. You're right that we're not meant to take in that much computer light, especially when we're closer to the time at which we should be going to sleep.

You should also download the f.lux software , which is a simple program that regulates your computer's light output so that your body is not so jacked up as it's time to sleep at night.

(07-20-2015 12:07 PM)testos111 Wrote:  

I was reading somewhere that our eyes not meant to take in so much light and need adequate rest. I hate the feeling of fatigued eyes as it transfers to the rest of my body and mind and I start to feel like shit.

Planning on going for long walks after I have done some amount of work, learning musical instruments, meditating, etc. But have to avoid looking at the screen. Let's see how it goes.

[Belgrano]

I had the same idea about a year ago when I moved into a new apartment. Overall I would say it increased my productivity, quality and quantity of sleep and improved my social life a lot.
Also, consuming porn is now an extremely rare occurrence for me, simply due to lack of opportunity, and I wouldn´t want it any other way. I´m on team "no porn", it´s great and makes me enjoy my sex life much more.

(07-11-2015 11:30 AM)el conquistador Wrote:  

I did this last year for 9 months. When I moved to a new place I intentionally did not have wifi installed. When I started an online business I finally caved in.

Here are few things I experienced:
- I spent way more time outside the house - gym, visiting friends, walking etc.
- Removing access will not remove the craving. When I found a coffee shop with a good connection, I would spend a whole afternoon consuming online material like a starving dog at a buffet.
- I got really frustrated trying to get stuff done using slow/poor wifi connections is cafes, gyms etc.
- I missed out on a few social events because people created a Facebook event page and I was not part of the online discussion.
-The money I saved on not paying an internet bill at home was spent on tea, coffee and food in places with wifi.

In an ideal world, I would have the following: No internet at home but have a 24-hour shared office space nearby.

This is the other side, my experience was very similar. Whenever I had internet there was a significant temptation to go on a binge and catch up with everything I thought I had missed or wanted to look up. Sometimes that cost me six hours of my day. And yes, sometimes I also found myself wondering if I´m wasting more time due to slow public wifi connections compared to what I had saved since quitting my home connection. Especially in the beginning I had to admit to myself that the six or seven evenings I sat in McCafe last month cost me more than purchasing unlimited internet for the whole month at home would have.

Nevertheless, overall I got a net gain of time out of it. This is mainly because my university with 24/7 library and extremely fast internet is a 10 minutes walk from my place. So if I needed to get work done, it was no problem for me, and just by being in the library instead of sitting on my sofa at home I increased my productivity and quality reading time a lot. However, I reckon not everyone has that kind of luck.

Another aspect is that sometimes it´s kind of inconvenient from a game perspective. You can´t just invite a girl over for netflix or to watch a movie, you have to be prepared and download it before. You obviously also can´t search for your/her favorite music to stream in order to get her to feel comfortable, or any other method that needs a connection. Personally I didn´t lose any bangs directly due to that, you just need a bit more preparation. If you are the spontaneous type, it´s probably more annoying though.

In the end for me the positives outweigh the negatives, at least for now. I would recommend anyone who doesn´t absolutely require internet at home for one reason or another to give it a try.

[Bad Hussar]

You're not a Luddite, but think setting aside certain times to disconnect is a more practical option for regular Joe's than deciding not to connect at home at all. Either make a firm rule "No connections between 18:00 and 21:00", or decide on a different, but firm, rule.

Also, a couple of times a year go a few days without any connection. I was forced into this a while back when I went hiking in a remote area. Another trip I want to make is canoeing down the Zambezi:



Between Zimbabwe and Zambia and well out of cellphone range for pretty much 10 day trip between Kariba and the Mozambique border. Satphone only I think.

No idiots posting snaps to Instagram for immediate consumption by their friends. They'd have to wait till they return to "civilisation".

PS: Agree with your assessment that in modern societies nowadays it's the ability to be unconnected that signifies "power". Slightly connected to one of my favourite sayings: "Time was made for slaves".