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The power of listening - An experience with a forum member
#1

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

So recently I have met this forum member that another forum member has been recommending me for some time. This other forum member said that he is a really interesting guy and that I should meet him. At first I didn't want to meet him because he has very few posts and I don't usually like to meet forum members that have not contributed much. I usually assume that if they have not contributed much to the forum, they probably won't be that much of value in real life - how wrong I was.

Anyway, so I decided to meet up with him. I was going to meet these two girls and I wanted a wingman, I invited this dude to come out with me. The girls flaked on us (or me should I say) and we just hanged out and talked for some time.

This guy knew LOTS of my forum posts. I was shocked, in a good way. He would ask me questions or make a comment about one of my posts and then we would talk about it, I would expand on whatever I had said here on the forum.

I was shocked that he knew so many of my posts because I am not even one of the top guys on the forum and sometimes I just think that nobody is really paying attention to what I am writing here and it was nice to know someone that knew my posts so well in different subjects here on the forum (not just DR related stuff - We met here in DR). If our meet up was a job interview, this guy would get the job for sure haha.

I am just creating this thread to reinforce something I have been saying on this forum for some time. Listening gets you more out of life than talking. Since I started listening more to people, my relationships became way better. I wouldn't be surprised that this guy has read ''how to win friends and influence people'' by Dale Carnegie, if you haven't read the book, it's mandatory for you to read it, buy a copy of it, you will not regret it.

My sister recently went to a job interview and she asked me for some tips. I told her, just make sure you listen more than you going to talk, look out for something at his office and make a comment about it, when he starts talking about that thing, make sure you ARE REALLY listening to what he is saying. Everybody just wants to talk, nobody is listening, whoever knows how to listen has an advantage over other people.

I wasn't surprised when she told me she got the job, she thanked me so much and said that I have lots of experience relating to job interviews. I told her that I only had one job interview in my whole life, this has nothing to do with having experience in jobs interviews, it's just understanding human behaviour/nature.

Remember guys, when going to a job interview, when approaching a new chick, when meeting with a new valuable person or just anybody, try listen more, forget trying to impress others with how much you have accomplished, listening to them will get you better results.

I forgot who the player was but a interviewer once asked this playboy ''what's the secret of you having so many women''? He answered: ''I just listen to them''!
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#2

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

If I had to guess who that "player" you're talking about it is, there's only one guru that comes to mind as being big on seducing to women by listening to them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNs4sV6xWfE
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#3

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

Who is this forum member? Why can't you name him?

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#4

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

Listening to women is different than being an emotional tampon.

Maine and Canadian lobsters are the same animal. Prove me wrong.
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#5

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

Not to be a party pooper, but most likely the guy did some due diligence on your posting history prior to meeting you.
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#6

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

You got gamed. Let's see how the night ends. I'll translate:

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

So recently I have met this forum member that another forum member has been recommending me for some time. This other forum member said that he is a really interesting guy and that I should meet him. At first I didn't want to meet him because he has very few posts and I don't usually like to meet forum members that have not contributed much.

"I finally met this guy my BFF has been trying to set me up with. At first, I didn't want to meet him because he doesn't have a lot of Facebook friends and isn't really 'my type' (6'4" white guy with a 30-inch dick and a 12-digit salary)"

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

I usually assume that if they have not contributed much to the forum, they probably won't be that much of value in real life - how wrong I was.

"I usually assume that if they don't meet those modest qualifications we won't click."

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Anyway, so I decided to meet up with him. I was going to meet these two girls and I wanted a wingman, I invited this dude to come out with me. The girls flaked on us (or me should I say) and we just hanged out and talked for some time.

"I had nothing to do because this hot guy I've been hooking up with, and I think is getting ready to commit [isn't], had to work late tonight [lined up some better pussy]. So I texted this other guy because I felt like going out [can't be alone and my internet was down and she's outta minutes on her cell phone]."

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

This guy knew LOTS of my forum posts. I was shocked, in a good way. He would ask me questions or make a comment about one of my posts and then we would talk about it, I would expand on whatever I had said here on the forum.

"Oh my god was I surprised!! This guy knew so much about [piece-of-shit-small-town-she's-from] and about yoga stands and a bunch of my interests [all available on her totally wide-open Facebook]."

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

I was shocked that he knew so many of my posts because I am not even one of the top guys on the forum and sometimes I just think that nobody is really paying attention to what I am writing here and it was nice to know someone that knew my posts so well in different subjects here on the forum (not just DR related stuff - We met here in DR).

"I was surprised he remembered so much about me from one conversation with my BFF. My BFF says he knows a lot of hot girls, so I was also surprised that he seemed to be into me. I haven't felt a connection like this in at least 6 months."

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:27 PM)pitt Wrote:  

If our meet up was a job interview, this guy would get the job for sure haha.

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#7

The power of listening - An experience with a forum member

Quote: (06-25-2015 09:53 PM)Fast Eddie Wrote:  

Not to be a party pooper, but most likely the guy did some due diligence on your posting history prior to meeting you.

Yes you are right, I am not stupid, sure he did some quick search on my posts before he met me. But actually I remember him sending me a private message way before we met where he was asking me about something that I posted on this totally unrelated topic (basically not DR related so at least I am sure he was following some of my posts).

Anyway, the point here is that this guy is capable of bonding well with people through a method that I have been praising on for some time. Game is part of life. If I am going to meet someone who I am interested in, I would probably research about them and then show it to them that I know about them and focus on them during my interaction. Am i being manipulative? No, this is simply a method that I believe that is very effective in creating good relationships with people.

I just truly like the concept of listening in relationships, I apply it a lot and now I saw someone applying this on me, I wanted to share the experience, hopefully it serves somebody.
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